Alpha Loren novel Chapter 73

November 20th

Two hours later and I was still lying beside my mate wide awake. I watched as his chest rose and fell with every breath and listened for every single heartbeat. Every now and then I would reexamine his wound to check if it was still healing- it always was. Slowly but surely. I know it's ridiculous of me to worry so much but I can't help it. Our personalities clash and we argue all the time but he is my mate and I love him all the same.

The first movement was a slight twitch of his right hand, then a groan and then his eyes slowly began to open.

"Leo?" I asked stroking his hair. "Are you alive?"

"I don't know about you but last time I checked dead people can't open their eyes," he replied weakly but with a smile.

"You scare me half to death by almost dying and the first thing you say when you wake up is sarcastic. Typical," I ranted.

"What the fuck happened?" he asked. "I nearly died?"

"Well...there was wolfsbane in your cut and it knocked you out pretty well but probably wouldn't have died," I replied. "But my mind was thinking worse case scenario."

He rolled his eyes.

"You're cute. Come here," he said reaching up his hand to pull me closer to him. I felt the warmth of his lips on mine and a sparkly relaxing sensation throughout my body.

Sparkly? Yeah.

At that point, my phone received a text.

I reached over the bed to pick it up and read the message.

Blair: Men assembled and already held off one rogue attack. Got it under control for now. How is the Alpha?

"Who is it?" he asked still lying down.

"Ummm....your Mom," I lied.

"What is she saying?" he asked seeing right through me.

"Urrrrr..I...found.....a........meatball," I said screwing up my eyes and grimacing.

"My Mom is texting you in the middle of the night to tell you she found a meatball?" he confirmed.

I nodded.

"You're an awful liar," he said with a smile. "Tell me who it is," he added more seriously.

"Well it's just Blair," I said quietly trying to be as brief as possible.

"Give it to me," he ordered.

"It's nothing important," I replied.

"Ella, give it to me," he demanded.

He was still weak and I probably could have avoided giving it to him but I slowly handed him my phone and he read the text.

He immediately sat up and shot me a glare, "Nothing important, huh? Just my pack under attack."

"Leo, don't. You're too weak," I said as he threw a shirt on, wincing as he touched his wound.

"I'm not weak," he said gruffly.

I raised an eyebrow.

"Leo. Five minutes ago you were unconscious."

"Well I'm not anymore am I?" he snapped.

I was slightly taken aback by his tone but tried not to let it stop me.

"For once can you just listen to me, Leo. Please," I begged. "Blair's got it under control. There is no need for you to go out there when you still have wolfsbane in your system. You are risking your life for no reason!"

"He has it under control right now but that isn't to say he will in ten minutes. I'm sorry Ella but I have to be there if my pack needs me. It's my duty as Alpha," he replied in a gentler tone.

My eyes began to well up as he pulled me into his arms.

"Don't worry about me," he said. 

"How can I not?" I asked.

"I love you," he replied kissing my forehead.

"I love you too."

"Call your brother and tell him he has my permission to come and stay for a bit," Leo said.

"Really?" I asked and my mate nodded.

"I'll see you soon," he said kissing my forehead one more time as I hugged him tightly.

An hour later I heard the doorbell ring. Leo had left me alone in the house on the basis that Connor was only five minutes away but considering the situation out there, I was afraid to open the door.

"Ella it's me," someone called through the door and I instantly relaxed.

I ran downstairs opened it and threw myself into my brother's arms.

"I've missed you so much!" I squealed strangling him.

"Can't breathe," he gasped.

"Sorry," I said releasing him giving him the chance to close the door.

He wore a wide smile before his eyes fell down to my stomach.

I suddenly felt nervous about what he was going to say about the ever-growing baby bump. My brother then pulled me back into another hug.

"I'm happy for you now El," he said. "and I'm sorry for being such a dick when I first found out."

"I guess I could forgive you," I replied with a smile. "Come in out of the cold, please."

"Mom called me," he said, "She said that you reached out to her."

I nodded, "She's coming to stay...or at least she said she would. But she wasn't keen on the idea of meeting Leonardo and I haven't heard from her since."

"She won't let you down, El," Connor said, "She may take her time and be a bit weird and roguey about it. But she'll come."

I smiled, "That's Mom. 'weird and roguey'."

"So why'd he suddenly let me come here?" Connor asked looking around the hallway.

He picked up a picture from the shelf. It was of the Loren family, all smiling and looking happy.

"An emergency," I said, "Plus I think he's finally responding to my pleads for you two to...connect."

Connor let out a short laugh, "What's changed his mind?"

"Well...things are different between us now," I said.

"Different?" he asked. "How so?"

"I stopped fighting him and in return, he's stopped fighting me," I replied, "It happened in an instant."

Connor turned from his examination of the pictures on the shelf and raised an eyebrow.

"You submitted?"

I swallowed, "No."

I then quickly walked through into the kitchen but he stayed frozen to his spot in the hall.

"Tea? Cake?" I offered.

Eventually, he followed me down the hall and stood in the doorway of the kitchen, watching me carefully.

 There were a few minutes of awkward silence before he spoke.

"So what is that if it's not submitting?" he asked.

I stuttered for a few seconds, trying to think of something to say.

Connor let out a laugh of disbelief as he shook his head, "What the fuck, Ella!? What did he do to you?"

"Nothing!" I exclaimed, "We just decided to stop arguing."

"Is he abusing you?" he asked, not buying any of it.

"No," I said.

"And I'm supposed to believe that?" Connor asked, the volume of his voice raising, "He's Alpha Loren for fuck's sake."

"You don't know him," I snapped. "He cares for me."

"Does he love you?" Connor asked.

"Yes," I said sharply.

"Then why in hell would he want to force you to be someone you're not?!" Connor exclaimed, "Without your opinions and strong will and hard head, who are you?"

I sighed, "Before you decide you hate him, please just at least try to get to know him."

He scoffed again, "I decided I hated him long ago. The moment he plucked you from your life of ambitions and independence only to drop you into his violent, chaotic life of fear and control."

"Connor, please. What do you want me to do?" he asked, "He's my mate whether we like it or not and I'm pregnant with his son. All we can do is all just try to get along."

After that, Connor left it and instead we sat on the sofa, chatting about anything except Leo until we grew tired and fell asleep.

At 6 am I woke up still on the sofa to the sound of the front door opening. Besides me and with his arm around my shoulder Connor still lay.

"There are 15 beds in this house and you choose to sleep on the same sofa," Leo said.

"Leo," I said, breathing a sight of relief as I got up to hug him.

He kissed me on the lips before looking over to my brother.

"Morning Connor," he said a little too chipper. "Coffee?"

"No thanks," Connor replied as bitterly as a milkless, sugarless coffee.

"Okay. I'm sensing a bit of hostility here boys," I said looking at Leo and then to Connor.

"Hostility? No..." Leo answered before beginning to make his coffee.

I rolled my eyes at him.

"Don't roll your eyes at me," he said sternly.

"She can roll her eyes if she wants to roll her eyes," Connor felt the need to say.

"Connor-"

"Don't stop him from saying what he likes to me. This is a free country," Leo interrupted.

"The irony," Connor muttered under his breath.

"What was that Connor?" Leo asked.

"Leo please stop provoking him and Connor you can stop encouraging him to carry on?" I said pointing at each of them. "Let's just be civil?"

Neither of them replied.

"What do you do all day in this huge house?" Connor asked in what I hope was an attempt to change the subject.

"Fuck," Leo answered and I screwed up my eyes.

"Sorry?" Connor questioned.

"You know what fucking is right?"

"Leo!" I exclaimed.

"Oh sorry. I thought you were saying fuck because you spilled some coffee or something and not because you were telling me about how you regularly have sex with my sister. Call me insane," Connor said sardonically.

"I'll be in the library," I said.

"No, stay," Leo ordered.

I turned around, trying to hold in the tear that was at the brink of escaping my eye.

"Are you really gonna just obey him like that?" Connor asked disappointedly. "If you want to go to the library, go."

I looked to Leo and he seemed to notice the tears in my eyes and his face softened a little before he gestured that I could go.

I turned once again and ran up the stairs, the tears finally able to escape in private.

"You made her cry," I heard Connor snap.

"No, we both did," he replied.

For the next two hours, I read Italian and Latin books in the library whilst listening to Connor and Leo wind each other up in the kitchen. At least it was fairly low scale bickering and not Leo about to murder Connor kind of bickering. If we were to find a positive in this situation. But it still hurt that they couldn't bring themselves to get on. Afterall, they are the two I love the most.

At some point in the late morning, I felt suddenly exhausted. I hadn't slept for the majority of the night and I was pregnant so I felt as though a nap was well deserved. When I woke up it was dark outside. 

Some nap that turned out to be.

I went downstairs in search of food and found Leo beginning to make dinner in the kitchen.

"Where's Connor?" I asked. 

"He's gone for a run," Leo replied. 

"Did you really have to say that in front of him Leo?" I asked referring to the events of earlier.

"He asked, I answered," Leo said shrugging his shoulders.

"He's my brother!" I exclaimed.

"Don't raise your voice at me. And I can't help it if our personalities clash. He's like you except he's not my mate so I have no reason to even try to get along," he replied.

All I could do was nod and turn around.

"Where are you going?" 

"Back upstairs," I snapped.

"You've been up there all day. I've hardly seen you," he replied.

"I've got reading to do," was my reply.

I began walking out the room before I felt my mate wrap his arms around my waist.

"Help me cook," he whispered in my ear in that husky tone as he gently caressed my neck with his fingers. 

"I think you know how to cook spaghetti by your self Leo," I replied holding his hand so that he stopped touching my neck.

"Please," he said as he trailed kisses along my neck.

I turned around to face him, put my hands on his cheeks and looked up.

"I really love you Leo but fucking hell I hate you sometimes too," I replied.

"Is that a yes?" he asked puppy eying me.

I narrowed my eyes, grabbed a knife and began chopping some onions.

"So what happened last night?" I asked.

"We crushed their feeble attempt of an attack without a single civilian getting hurt," he replied. "And as for your next questions: yes, I was fine and no, I didn't feel the slightest bit weakened by the wolfsbane."

"So we don't have to worry about rogues anymore?" I questioned.

"For now."

At that point, my phone buzzed.

I pulled it from my pocket and read the text.

Allison: You, Me, Amber, the mall tomorrow at 12?

I looked over at Leo who was busy chopping tomatoes before beginning to reply.

"Just by the way you looked at me I can tell there is something you are trying to hide something from me," he said.

"Do I have to tell you everything now?" I asked.

"No, but it depends on the reason you aren't telling me."

He turned to face me and raised an eyebrow.

"Can I go to the mall tomorrow?" I asked.

"With who?" 

"Friends."

"Do they have names?"

"Allison and A..." I began before trailing off. "Um, Actually just Allison."

"You are the shittest liar in the history of shit," Leo stated with a smile.

"Bit rude."

"Give me your phone," he ordered.

"Do you not trust me?"

"No, I don't fucking trust you. Give me your phone," he replied.

"I really think you should start trusting me because in a month I'll be the mother of your child. So why don't we start now? Get a head start and everything..."

He laughed and rolled his eyes. Had he been serious, I would have had to of given to him. But his little grin gave me permission to tease him.

"Phone now," he said, his tone still light.

I looked at him, then I looked at his empty hand, then I opened my mouth to speak, then I sprinted as fast as I could out of the kitchen.

I got to the hallway before he caught me up and pushed me against the wall.

"There was me thinking I'd shaken all the mischief out of you," he said, a smile creeping onto his head. "You have three seconds to hand it over before I tickle you," he whispered in my ear. "3..."

"I'm not ticklish."

"2..."

"And I'm not giving in,"

"1..."

He raised an eyebrow but I only clutched my phone in my hand tighter.

A fraction of a second later his fingers came in contact with my stomach and I erupted into fits of giggles.

"Leo!" I screamed breathlessly in between giggles. 

"What was that? You'll give me your phone?"

"Never!" I squealed. 

He intensified the tickling until I couldn't take it anymore.

"Okay! I'll give it to you!" 

I held it out in front of him as the unbearable tickles ceased. 

At first, he didn't take it and instead leant his lips down to mine. I felt his hand slip behind my neck before he took the phone with the other and slid it onto the table beside us.

"I'll trust you. Don't. blow. it," he whispered as he trailed kiss across my cheek to my ear. 

I nodded before he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer into his chest and reconnected our lips.

Just as Leo removed his shirt and slipped mine off my shoulders the front door opened.

"For fuck's sake," Connor cursed.

"Hey, Connor..." I replied awkwardly.

I looked up at Leo who, unsurprisingly, was wearing his usual laid-back expression. 

Connor stormed straight past us and up the stairs. I ran after him as I rearranged my shirt.

"What are you doing?" I asked as he went into the spare room he was meant to be staying in.

"Leaving," he said stuffing clothes into his bag pack.

"Connor. I'm so sorry, I wasn't expecting you back yet and it was just bad timing-" I began.

"It was bad timing for you Ella, not your mate," he interjected. "Can you not see how much he despises me? And I'm sorry but the feeling is mutual."

"Are you saying that he meant for this to happen?" I questioned.

"Yes. That is exactly what I am saying," he replied looking up at me having zipped his bag up.

"So what? You're going to leave and I'll never see you again?"

"Don't be ridiculous Ella. Of course, I'll see you again," He replied.

"You don't seem to understand that he is my mate, Connor. I am with him now and I always will be. In a month I'm going to have his son for God's sake! We aren't ever going back to how we used to be Connor. It's this or nothing."

My brother sighed and stepped towards the door. He gently kissed the top of my head before walking out into the hall, down the stairs and out of the front door.

I sunk to the floor into a sobbing heap when I heard the door slam.

The two people in this world that I love the most utterly loathe each other. That's great. That's just fucking great.

A few moments later I heard Leo come up the stairs. 

"Please leave me alone, Leo," I sobbed.

I had locked the door to allow myself to cry in peace.

"Unlock the door and let me talk to you," he said.

I let out a sob and only pulled myself into a tighter ball.

"Ella," he said deeply.

I shuffled to the door and switched the latch, allowing him to come in.

I then dragged myself back away as he stepped over the threshold.

"Ella I'm not mad. I understand why you're upset," he explained crouching down to my level.

"Is it true?" I asked. "Is what Connor said true?

"The thought crossed my mind but it was already happening," he replied in an honest tone. "I didn't kiss you because I wanted him to walk in on us."

"But you didn't stop when you remembered that he could come through the door at any moment?!"

"My wolf was far more concerned about you in that moment," he argued.

"You didn't even try to get on with him," I said quietly. 

"And he didn't even try to get on with me," he replied.

"But he has never wronged you. He has never given you a reason to hate him," I said, "But you have. You took me away from him. You are the one that needs show him."

"Show him what?" Leo asked, "That I'm not as bad as he thinks I am?"

I looked down at the floorboards and sniffled.

"Do you want me to lie to him?" he questioned, "Put on an act and pretend to be that good man that you both long for me to be?"

Tears still streamed down my cheeks but I didn't even bother to wipe them.

"Would that make you happy?" he asked.

I shook my head, "Why can't you just actually be good?"

With that he sat down next to against the wall and wrapped his arm around me, pulling me into a hug.

I was waiting for him to speak but he said nothing.

"Do you want to be good?" I asked eventually as my tears dried and I just let him hold me.

"I want to do whatever is best for my pack," he said. "I've told you that time and time again. In an ideal world, I wouldn't be Alpha. And then I'd have the freedom to be whoever you want me to be. But I can't. Because I have a duty not only as your mate but to this pack."

I nodded, "But just because you have to do something, it doesn't mean you have to do it in the cruellest way possible. Why do you have to be so cold?"

He kissed the top of my head and held me tighter.

"It gets the message across that I am not to be fucked with," he said, "I need my enemies to fear me."

"Do you see Connor as your enemy?" I asked.

He sighed, "No."

"Then until Connor poses any kind of risk to this pack, you can attempt to be civil. He may still hate you because of who you are and what you have done but please just don't make it any worse. I want him in my life and in our babies life. And I don't see that happening with the way things are right now."

Leo nodded, "Okay."

Wait, what?

I looked up hopefully, "You'll try?"

He nodded again, "But let's just leave it for a bit and try again in a week or so, okay? He needs time to cool down and I've got more pressing matters to solve first."

I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head on his chest, "Thank you."

He rested his hand on my head, "I guess talking things through actually works, huh?"

I smiled, "We should have tried this weeks ago."

He let out a short laugh before kissing my head once again.

"Love you."

"Love you too."