Alpha Loren novel Chapter 82

December 3rd

Lenny's shift was very exciting. I had never been to any shift party. By the time Connor and I had our first shift we didn't have any werewolf friends and besides our Mom, no family either so my Mom just cleared the furniture in the living room and we had a slightly larger than usual celebratory meal afterwards. Nothing like what the Rosa had for organised for her son.

His wolf was a beautiful honey brown like colour with warm blue eyes- just like a lot of the family apparently. Soon after, Antonio took him for his first run in wolf form and families with younger kids started to leave.

"So what was that thing you didn't tell me earlier?" Leo asked as we sat on the stairs saying goodbye to people as they left.

Damn. I was hoping he'd forget about that.

"Can we talk about this later?" 

"I'm not going to forget, Ells," he replied.

"Sometimes I wonder if you really are a mind reader."

"What can I say? I know you better than most," he said. "So come on. Spit it out."

"No, not here and not now. We're still supposed to be celebrating Lenny's 16th. I don't want to ruin his party," I replied.

"Then let's go upstairs," he said as he stood up and gripped my hand.

"Leo, no," I said pulling my hand away from him. "I'll tell you at home."

"Ella," he said deeply. 

"Please Leo," I begged. "Don't do this."

"If it is important, which I assume it is, I would rather that you told me immediately," he hissed sounding as if he was struggling to remain calm.

"It isn't a big deal," I replied getting up to walk away from him and over to Elena and Bella who were by the doorway in of the kitchen.

Leo grabbed the upper part of my arm and pulled me back to him. 

"Just leave it, Leo. We should be spending this time with your family. Not aruging," I snapped immediately regretting it. 

He looked down at me with a pissed-off expression before taking my hand tightly.

Elena, who had seen the entire thing, was already marching over.

"What the fuck Leo?" she asked.

"Stay out of this, Elena," Leo grumbled.

"Stay out of you roughing up your mate in our house?" she hissed.

"I'm not roughing her up," Leo replied.

"You're being a bastard," Elena said.

Leo clenched his jaw before turning to me, "You are looking awfully tired, Ella," he said, "Perhaps we should head home right now."

I didn't say anything but allowed him to turn his back on his sister nad pull me into the living room where most of the Lorens were.

"We're gonna head off now," Leo announced. 

"It was lovely seeing you all," I added.

"Leaving so soon?" Rosa said pulling me into a hug and then Leo.

"New moon syndrome," Leo explained wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

"Ahh. Of course," she said. "Silly of me to forget. But Leonardo. Where are my twins? They were here for the transformation but vanished before I could get a hold of them."

"They will show up soon, Mom, don't worry," Leo reassured just as Marco and Carlos came through the door

Perfect timing.

"Talk of the devils and they shall appear," Rosa said before marching over to them.

She stood with her arms folded as she stared up at her sons, who were at least a foot taller than her.

"Where have you been?" Rosa demanded.

"The woods," Carlos said shortly.

"With who?"

"Some cousins. We were here for the transformation," Marco answered.

"I know you were and then you left straight after. Why?"

Neither of the twins answered.

"Look at me Carlos," she ordered. "You too Marco."

"Cosa ti ho detto di droga?!" Rosa shouted stepping closer to the twins. 

Translation: What did I tell you about drugs?

"And Carlos! Have you been with a girl? You smell like cheap perfume and you've got lipstick all over your face," she said licking her finger and wiping his cheek. "Please tell me it wasn't one of your cousins. I'm still mortified from when Leo did that."

"That's my cue to leave," Leo said as the family sat awkwardly looking over to Leo. "Bye everyone."

"Bye," I said before accidentally making eye contact with Antonio, who I had been avoiding. His arms were folded across his chest and his blue eyes were cold and icy. 

I then spotted Elena who was still eyeing Leo carefully.

She stood up for me. She had my back.

Now I needed to have hers.

Whatever the cost, I couldn't tell Leo about what Antonio and I were really talking about in his office. 

Guess I have a very short time to formulate a very good lie.

The drive home was silent. I thought long and hard about what to say to him or what not to say but for some reason, I could not think of even the most unbelievable lie.

"I'm really sorry about earlier," I stated twiddling my thumbs. "I shouldn't have said and especially not with people around."

"It's okay," Leo replied before there was a long pause. "I perhaps should not have been so rough with you."

When we got back we went upstairs and I immediately changed and got into be, wrapping myself in the thick warm sheets which sheltered me from the cold of the night. 

"Are you gonna tell me now?" he asked taking his shirt off by his closet.

"Tell you what?" I asked purely as a feeble avoidance strategy. "Night, I love you."

I then closed my eyes.

"You know exactly what," he said seriously.

"I'm asleep," I replied before fake snoring.

"Asleep people can't have conversations."

"Yes they can! Ever heard of sleeptalking?...duh. And you never said love you too."

"I love you too and I'd love you even more if you told me the thing that you were gonna tell me when we got home and when I'd calmed down. Well, here we are. We're home. I'm calm."

"Okay but you have to promise not to be mad. In fact, can you sit down?"

"Why?" 

"Because you can't be tall and intimidating if you sit down," I replied tugging at his hand and he rolled his eyes before climbing into the bed.

I pulled a blanket over my head and wrapped it around me like a nun before grabbing another blanket and doing the same to Leo. My hands brushed his skin and he burnt as warm as ever but I enjoyed tucking the blanket behind his ears. He looked like a little baby as he just sat placidly letting me do it.

"Do you trust me?" I questioned once we were both bundled up.

"In most aspects, yes."

"Then trust me when I say it doesn't matter. I should never have brought it up and you just need to let it go.."

"If it doesn't matter then why can't you just tell me?" he asked, "Is it something my Dad said to you?"

"Take that as a yes then," he sighed.

"How did you guess?"

"Your face gave away that something was up the second I suggested bringing Antonio upstairs to help with the new moon sickness," he explained. "So what did he say?"

I just groaned and threw myself back onto the mattress.

"Ella," he said pulling me back up and pinning the blanket around me, holding me in place, "What did he say?"

I sighed before taking a deep breath. 

Operation lie here we go. Improvisation: activated.

"He apologised for the other night. I already told you that. But he also said he had prejudices based on my father that he places on me. Well he did...until I submitted to you," I replied.

Still not sure where I'm going with this.

"And that bothered me," I continued,  "Because my father is dead, Leo. And being told that I reminded him of him until I submitted makes me feel like I've lost not only a part of myself but a part of my Dad too. My Dad raised me to be independent and brave and fight injustice. But now I'm changing and it makes me feel even more distant from him. I don't want to forget him and I don't want to fail him."

I took a deep breath and looked down at my hands.

Okay...maybe that wasn't a lie.

Somehow I just tapped into a deep truth that I hadn't even realised myself yet.

Leo was quiet for a few moments.

"My Dad is a bastard and shouldn't have said that," was all he said.

"But it's the truth," I replied. "I didn't want to hear it and I didn't want to repeat it back to you either but...that doesn't change anything. I'm not who he raised me to be anymore."

I then looked back up at him, waiting for his next response.

"Last week, when I said I'd talk to you about pack business and listen to your ideas and opinions, I really meant it," he said, "I haven't told my Dad because I can't be fucked to deal with his response so he doesn't know our relationship and he doesn't know you. So screw him and screw whatever he thinks. You're the first woman to have any control over what happens in this pack. You're also brave, compassionate and smart. What more could your Dad want in his daughter?"

I sighed and closed my eyes, "I'm not strong like he wanted me to be. I thought I was. I thought I never backed down. But until you, no one really tested me. But you did and I caved."

"Ella, look at me," he said.

I opened my eyes and looked at him with another sigh.

"How do you define 'caved'?" he asked.

I shrugged, "Giving in, giving up...letting go of everything that I was passionate about."

"And what are you passionate about?" he probed.

I paused for a second, "...happiness. I am passionate about making people happy."

He smiled, and rubbed his thumb along my cheek.

"I heard you talking to Mateo about Allison earlier, comforting and advising him," he began, "And you wouldn't tell what my father said at the party because you didn't want to ruin anyone's evening. You also tolerate Luca's suffocating hugs. You comforted and transformed the life of Polly, the young girl attacked by rogues. You made sure my Dad and I didn't destroy Lia's happiness in a moment of anger. You want nothing more than to help me deal with pack issues. You have also poured your soul into creating peace between your brother and me and whilst we still have a long way to go, I know you aren't going to stop until we get there. So think about all that and then try telling me you've given up on making people happy," he said.

I smiled and blushed.

"So you haven't caved," he replied, "We've just found a way to live in peace together and now we can focus on the happiness of both ourselves and the rest of the pack, okay? We became a team. Now we work together and not against each other. As Alpha and Luna."

He then pulled my face in and kissed me softly.

"So unless you're going to say something nice to yourself, shut up," he said.

I sighed, "Okay," I said kissing him again.

"Now," he said bundling the blanket tighter around me, "Get some sleep."

I scrambled under the covers and a few seconds later, he snuggled next to me.

Mission accomplished.

Half an hour later, I was still awake.

I'd had a nap at the party so I wasn't hugely tired and Leo's words were replaying on repeat in my head. 

So maybe I hadn't given up. But I'd still submitted to him, thus supporting all the grief and suffering he causes.

But on the other, he said we were a team now. That puts me in a better position to end the evil, right? Maybe I just have to be smart about this. Respect him, obey him, make him trust me, make him listen.

In short: smile sweetly and say please.

Just as I was on my third cycle of these thoughts, my phone chimed quietly from the nightstand.

Leo was fast asleep, his arm only gently resting on my waist so I managed to shuffle over and reach my phone without waking him.

On the illuminated screen was a message from my brother.

I'm leaving town for a bit. But I'm outside to say goodbye.

I read it twice before getting up and tiptoeing to the window where I looked down to see Connor stood on the doorstep.

Without hesitation, I crept out of the bedroom and down the hall, avoiding the creaky floorboard. I could still hear Leo's light sleepy breaths until I reached the bottom of the stairs.

I lifted the latched slowly and carefully before turning the door handle.

"You have to be quiet," I whispered to Connor.

He smiled before immediately pulling me into a hug.

"Why are you leaving?" I asked, "What about school?"

He shrugged, "Since you've been gone, I've realised this isn't the life I want," he said, his face tense and straight, "I'm leaving to figure things out."

"Where will you go?"

"Wherever I feel is right," he replied.

I wasn't entirely sure what he meant by that but I just hugged him again, "Come back to visit when the babies born?"

He smiled, "Of course. I'm not missing welcoming the next Jones into the world."

I grinned, "The Lorens would have a fit if they heard anyone refer to this baby as a Jones."

"It will have Loren and Jones blood and a Loren and Jones parent," he replied, "Maybe he'll be the end of this family fued we have going...but probably not."

"Well let's hope he is," I said.

Connor forced a smile, "I better go," he said shortly.

I nodded, "Okay."

I then stood at the doorstep and watched him disappear off into the forest before heading back inside.

Deciding I didn't want to explain to Leo that Connor had just crossed onto his territory unpermitted again, I went into the kitchen to collect my alibi, a glass of water, in case he woke as I returned.

But I never even got as far as the bottom of the stairs.

After filling the glass at the sink, I turned around to see Leo stood less than a metre away. He scared me so much that I dropped the glass causing it to smash, very close to my foot, and spread its contents all over the kitchen floor.

"Fuck, Leo!" I said. "You scared the shit out of me."

"What are you doing?" he questioned. 

"Getting a glass of water...or I was until you made me drop it," I replied.

"I thought I heard your voice?"

"To the baby. I was talking to the baby," I said awkwardly smiling.

I took a deep breath and tensed up as he leant closer to me.

"What? I'm just getting you another glass," he said reaching over my head to the glass cupboard. "And I'm sorry for scaring you."

He filled it at the tap and then handed it to me.

"Go back to bed. I'll clear up this mess," he said gently but firmly kissing my cheek.

His fingers ran along my shirt as he took a deep breath in.

There was no way he didn't detect Connor's scent. It was all over me.

I smiled nervously as he watched me, quite intently, head out of the kitchen. His face wore a smile but I could tell by the look in his eye that he knew.

A few minutes later, after clearing up the water and broken glass, he came back into our bedroom. Without a word, he got into the bed beside me and wrapped his arms back around me.

"Next time, you don't need to hide him from me," he said softly, "We aren't stopping until we get there, right?"

I smiled and placed my hand on top of his, "Right."