Alpha Loren novel Chapter 153

"Okay, this is weird. We are thirty-two minutes and 42 seconds into the journey and you haven't eaten the chocolate bar yet or said a word. What's up?" Luca said finally after glancing over at me multiple times without a word.

"I don't feel like eating," I replied.

"Who are you and what have you done with my Ella?" he questioned. "How are you feeling anyway?"

"Alright," I said quietly.

"Could you be less specific?"

I smiled but the movement of my face caused a tear to roll down my cheek.

"Oh, Ells," he said noticing the tear. Taking one hand off the wheel, he wiped the tear off my cheek before taking my hand.

"I should have talked to Leo this morning. He was trying to apologise and I didn't let him," I replied.

"He'll get over it Ells and he'll also understand that you have every right to hate him right now."

"But I don't hate him and I feel guilty for that too. I should with every muscle in my body right now, even if it is just for a short time, but I just can't," I sobbed.

"He is your mate. You can't blame yourself for that."

"But how am I meant to grieve my brother if I am in love with the man that killed him?" I asked.

For a brief moment, there was silence.

"...I have an idea but I'm not sure it's a good one," Luca began. "And the Alpha probably won't agree to it."

"What?" I asked eagerly.

"You could go away for a bit," he suggested. "I know you have your pups but Leo has managed alone before so he will again and I'll be there too. Maybe just for a couple of weeks, or even only a couple of days, so that you can get your thoughts together and properly mourn your brother."

We sat in silence for a few moments more.

"...But Leo. He would never allow me to go away after he has just got me back."

"He hasn't got you back. If anything you are further away from him than ever and he wants you to get over this too, right? "

I nodded.

"Since when were you so smart?" I asked.

"For the love of God, don't tell him this was my idea," Luca pleaded.

I laughed for the first time in a while before looking out of the window at the passing snowy trees.

"Ella dearest?"

"Yes, Luca dearest."

"Are you eating that chocolate bar or not?"

I sighed and thrust the bar in his direction.

"Just have it."

"For me, really?!" he exclaimed taking it. "Oh Ella, you shouldn't have."

I giggled and rolled my eyes.

"You're gonna make a brilliant mate when you eventually find the lucky girl," I said. "You'd never lay a hand on her brother."

"Ella, I'm saying this as both your best friend and as the Alpha's gamma. Leonardo means well. Since he met you, he always has. Killing Connor is probably the deepest regret of his life but your brother did kidnap his mate and threatened his pack. You didn't see this part but when Leo killed him, he had just been trying to kill Leo. It wasn't out of pure impulse and hatred. By no means am I justifying it but you have to remember that he has a duty as Alpha to protect you and the pack from people like him," Luca said in a serious tone.

I nodded. Everything he said made perfect sense. 

"I just wish this whole thing never happened," I said resting my head on the window and watching the snowy ground zoom past.

"Me too, Ells," he replied. "Me too."