Bound by Vows novel Chapter 40

Kabir's POV

I was lying awake on bed looking at the ceiling thinking about the party.

It was fun to messing up with her. That girl, Tiya...i hooked up with her once long back and i had no idea about her.

I didn't even recognise her but she saying that hotels name which i usually used to fuck girl told me that she is one of them.

I didn't wanted to interact with her in presence of Payal but that girl was clinging to me like a leech

Soon i saw her going upstairs with danush which made me jealous too much.

I mean i know he is married but I don't trust that guy...and that was the reason i allow that girl to come close to me.

Later it was fun to know that she was jealous because of that girl. She even didn't talked with me once after our dance. I was just teasing her by saying she is heavy but i guess she took it seriously.

If i would think i can say she was looking breathtakingly beautiful and i so wanted to undress her saree and made love to her senselessly.

Oh no...where this came from? I only fuck not made love to any girl.

But i couldn't understand why she was jealous and angry? I mean does she have any feelings for me?

Do you have any feelings for her??? Instead of answering my heart asked me.

No...no...never...yes...no...i don’t know...my mind answered back.

My thoughts broke with the sound of door knob and i looked towards closet door only to pop my eyes out.

Fuck me!!! Where are her cute pyjamas??? Is she planning to take revenge with me??? But by wearing good for nothing nighty.

This black nightly didn’t left anything to imagine. Her curvy figure was on full display

My thoughts gone wild by looking at her

Cool down my buddy!!! I said to certain part of my body

She lay down on bed after removing her robe...This worse the situation more... She laid with her back towards me and I can see her petite waist with deep back of her nighty...

"Are you angry with me?" I asked after sometime unable to control myself.

"No Mr. Khurana, why would i? Afterall who am i infront of your hot and sexy mistress...right?" She said while i frown

"What has gotten into you? Why are you behaving rudely with me?" I asked her.

"I am behaving rudely? And what was that in the party? You ignored me for your slut?? Can't you keep your illegal affairs at back when you know we were at my friend's house?" She shouts turning towards my side.

Now i can look into her eyes which are burning with anger.

I have never seen her this angry? Is she even okay?

"Did i invited her to that party? No...I didn't even recognised her for god sake..." I replied her.

But i guess she got more angry with this.

"Oh really...so you mean you never share any history with her?" She said mockingly.

"Yes...i mean no...we had...but it was for one time...nothing serious" i said nervously.

Only she has got the power to bring out the emotions which i rarely show to anyone

"Is it? But i thought something else" she said raising my eyebrows.

"It was nothing...trust me" i said trying to make her understand.

I guess i overdid that act.

"Trust you...really...how would you feel if we go to your friends party and there i flirt with my ex..." She said making me narrow my eyes at her.

This thought itself felt so wrong.

"Never happening in my presence" i said sternly.

"You're such a hypocrite...you were exactly doing this today...you don't even know how i felt seeing you with that slut laughing" she said while a tear rolled out of her eyes.

Oh shit!!! I can't handle her tears

"Okay okay...i am sorry...don’t cry" i said while taking her into my arms.

She sobbed in my arms while i got confused why she is being soo emotional for this.

She tighten her hold on my back and i can feel my body on fire just by hugging her. Did i mention it before i am in my boxers only.

"Well, i wanted to ask where are your pyjamas today?" I asked her to lighten the mood but i guess i did a mistake because next second she pushed me with a force.

Thank god i didn't fall down from bed

"What?" I asked shockingly

"I am heavy na...so why are you clinging to me...Go to your diya, siya, tiya...whatever her name was" she said with a pout and anger.

I cannot resist myself now... I want to chew her rosy lips.

I pulled her on top of me making her bosom flat on my chest.

I didn't let her scream as her lips captured mine...i kissed her aggressively while she resist.

She didn't kissed me back like before. I run my hand down on her hip squeezing it lightly.

She gasped giving me a chance to enter into her mouth. My tongue moved in all corners of her mouth taking sweet taste of her into mine.

I turned our position and now i am top of her still kissing her. I nibbled her lower lip, biting it with my teeth...i smiled when she kissed me back...and i can feel eagerness, desire in her which made me happy as its not one sided.

I left her mouth to kiss her jaw, moving down to her throat...then her neck while my hands work on her waist.

I showed my need to her by pushing my lower body to hers making her gasp.

I pulled her strap down to kiss on her bare shoulder. She moaned when i did that...it only made me more positive to go ahead.

"Ohh fuck Payal, do you even have an idea what are you doing to me without even doing anything" i said grinding myself to her.

Payal's POV

I don't know when our argument turned into this hot mess...i can feel wetness between my legs.

When he said these words, i got confused with what he wants to convey.

Then he touched his lower part to my core making me widen my eyes...i have never allowed any man in my life to go to this extent...nobody ever desired me in this way.

When i looked into his eyes, there was not a lust for me but attraction and adoration filled in his eyes for me.

And this look in my eyes told me that he wants me in a way man wants any woman but am i ready for that?

I always wanted to give it to my better half who would love me selflessly, who care for me, who respects me and my decisions.

But is he the one? I am soo confused right now as he never shares his feelings for me and even i don't know what i feel for him.

I adore him definitely for being a responsible father, dotting son and a caring brother. But husband i can't say.

I mean i am so---

"Relax your running mind" he said breaking my thoughts as well as kissing my forehead.

I realised in what position we are...very close even not a small distance between us.

"What are you thinking" he asked dipping his head again in my neck kissing me there.

I tried to suppress my moan which is ready to escape my mouth.

"Share with me whatever you have in your mind" he said while kissing my cleavage now.

How will i share when i myself is soo confused...but i should say something as he is for the first time making efforts to know my state...i should also do some efforts.

"Tell me" he again asked but this time raising his head looking into my eyes.

"I don't know...i mean we are married but we don't even love each other" i said feeling nervous for his reply.

"But I like you Payal...i fucking like you soo much...and i want you in a sense i never wanted any girl before..." he suddenly confessed making me still in his arms.

Did i hear right??? Did he really mean that he likes me and want me???

"Say something" he asked when i didn't replied him for sometime.

Say something but what? I can't bluntly say that “but i don’t”

"I...i...don’t know what to say..." I said releasing myself from his arms

I sat on bed running my hand on my face...i am such an emotional mess right now.

I want to live my life with him but then what about my promise i made to myself years back that i will not love anyone ever again.

And what about kabir? Isn't it only attraction for me? What if he only wants my body and if i gave it, i don't know for how long he will be with me...he might get bored of me.

My thoughts broke when he circled my stomach with his hands after putting his chin on my naked shoulder.

It tickle me due to his beard.

"What happen sweetheart" he asked huskily making my stomach churn with butterflies...and his endearments...its too much to take.

He pushed my hairs to one side making my back visible to his hungry eyes.

He ran his fingers from top to bottom making me arch my back a bit.

"You're beautiful...very beautiful" he said while kissing my back. I fist the bedsheet to stop the sensation i am feeling.

Next thing i knew he pushed me down on bed hovering over me kissing my forehead followed by my cheeks.

He kissed me sensually and gently with utmost care making me moan in his mouth.

He groaned while his hand started roaming on my thighs which made me realise that my nighty got disoriented and fabric is not even covering my upper thighs.

When his lips reached my breast, it alarmed me to stop him otherwise going further will only complicate our relationship.

I put my palm on his face so that he would look at me and he did that. And it hurt me when he smiled which is one of his rare...i know what i am going to say will hurt him but its for our better.

"I...i can't do this" i said nervously while smile on his face vanished.

"What you can't do??" He asked in a composed voice.

He know what i am saying still want to hear it clearly from me.

"I can't please" i said begging him

He left me and sit on bed facing his back towards me.

I adjust my nighty after putting robe on it.

"Why Payal? Why are you doing it?" He asked while i felt guilty.

"What am i doing?" I asked though i know what is he saying.

I get up from the bed.

"You don't know what are you doing?? You're always leaving me hanging at a point where i find hard to control myself...i too have needs" he said furiously at me.

"As if I don't know how you're fulfilling your god damn needs" i said with an anger in my voice.

"You really don't know, let me tell you clearly that i have kept my promise intact. Since we got married, i have not touched any other woman" he furiously said gripping my arms.

Is it? But what about that girl? Was not it clear that she is his mistress.

"Ohh really...then i should thank you for doing a big favour on me" i shouted on him.

"Fuck...what do you want? Tell me clearly so that there won't be next time like this" he said.

"Yes, it was a mistake and it should not be repeated again" i said folding my arms.

"Don't mistake me...i know you're equally responding to my touch" he said circling his arms around my waist.

I put my hands on his chest to push him but he didn't budge at all.

"No i have never responded to your touch" i said ignoring the heat i am getting from his body.

"You are a liar wifey...i can see the way your body responds, how it shivers, how your body invites me equally to my touch" he said running his thumb on my lower lips.

"How can i allow you when i know you are only craving for my body?" I replied only to realise that i wronged him.

His face lost the colour after hearing my words. I don't know why i said those words but i wanted to win this argument at any cost.

His grip on me loosened.

"You really think too low of me." He asked in anger

He picked up the glass kept on table only to crush it in his hand.

My eyes widened when i saw the blood on his palm.

"K..kabir" i said trying to hold his hand but he jerked me back.

"Don't...don’t touch me again otherwise you will accuse me that i crave for your body" he said in a raging tone making me flinch.

"I...i am sorry" i managed to murmur while tears rolled out of my eyes.

"I was always being honest with you from the beginning...if i ever lust over your body, then nobody would have ever stopped me to take you to my bed not even you..." He said while i put my head down in shame

"I only wanted to give this relationship a chance...A chance to us...but this time not for doll...for ourselves instead...but you took it to some other tangent" he said angrily making me guilty more

"I...i am so-" i tried to apologise but he stopped me.

"Don't even try... after hurting me with your accusation, you are trying to mend with me with your fucking sorry... I don't need that...keep it to yourself" he said while moving out of the room closing the door with a thud.

I slid down on floor crying. What i wanted to say and what i said was totally stupidity on my part.

I am not sure is what i want from my life? I mean i want him but at the same time i don’t want to start my life again. I am afraid...afraid to lose happiness which can be vanish as soon as it will come.

I don't want to repeat past...i can't let history repeat...whosoever i have been attached emotionally were snatched from me and i don't want to loose more.

More tears leaked out of my eyes and I don't know when my eyes got shut.