Caged Between the beta and alpha novel Chapter 78

Raven’s father was committed , and although I knew the Alpha had set his punishment , I still wanted to tell Liam about it .

I’m angry at him .

So fucking mad at what he did .

But past his split personality , there was that part of him that I knew .

I wouldn’t be able to forgive him easily … If ever .

I don’t know if I could ever call him a friend again either .

Looking back , I think that ended a few years ago .

I was maybe just stuck in a fucking illusion that things would work out … It did fucking hurt … but life was shit like that .

I entered the cells and unlocking the door , entered his cell .

He was sitting there , his eyes closed , his hair that he always had gelled and styled was lying messily over his forehead .

His eyes opened and met mine , they looked … broken .

I knew he’d feel it , but maybe this is the punch he needs to realise that he can be in fucking control .

He needs to take control o f his own shit .

Neither of us spoke for a while , and Liam looked away first .

” What do you want ?

” He asked quietly .

” Raven’s father was trialled today , he’s been given one hundred and fifty silver lashes .

He’ll then be placed under house arrest and stripped of any rank or status h e had .

I thought , despite everything , you might want to know …

” I said , clenching m y jaw .

” Thanks … ” He replied .

Gone was the cold arrogance that had surrounded him since his return .

All I saw was his emptiness .

” Who will deliver the punishment ?” He asked quietly .

” I thought I’d ask Alpha Elijah if I could .

” I said .

He nodded , with the tiniest of smiles that didn’t reach his eyes crossing his lips .

” Will you also deliver mine ? ” He asked , looking up at me .

An emotion in his eyes that I couldn’t read unnerved me .

My heart thumped and I stepped back , narrowing my eyes .

” What ?

” ” My trial is in two days , I don’t want Dad t o suffer .

What I did … I’ve caused him even more pain … My punishment won’t be small , and it shouldn’t be … but I don’t want Dad to do it .

You can tell her it was m y wish that you do it .

” ” Don’t want me to look like the bad guy ? ” I asked , unable to hide the bitterness from my voice .

” He ” No , because you’re all she has now … ‘ said .

” What I did deserves capital punishment and I expect no less , so … be there for her .

” I sighed heavily .

He wasn’t making it easier to hate him .

” I never wanted you to step aside , I was willing to make it work , all three of us .

Raven is loving , she would have been able to treat us both well .

“

” That won’t happen because I always believed that it’s one to one , there’s no space for a third .

There’s no point in discussing it … I no longer deserve her , so good luck .

” He said .

” Not after what I did .

” You’re giving up because of what you did ….

but you still love her .

” I said quietly , hating that I couldn’t just hate him fully even if I’d not forgiven him .

” I do , more than anything , but what I did was unforgivable and it’s a little fucking late .

When we love someone … we do what’s best for them .

” He said , running his hand down his face and massaging his jaw .

His beard had grown too .

” Yeah , we do .

” I said quietly .

” I just kept her stuck in the middle … in this constant tug of war .

Not anymore .

” Our eyes met , and I nodded .

” I heard from her that you two were going to reject one another … ” He said quietly .

” Yeah … I realised that you would never accept it working between us and she was hurting .

You ruined it all .

“

He nodded , staring down at his hands .

” Thanks … for telling me about the trial … ” I nodded , looking at him .

Something told me that with this clarity … Maybe just maybe , this was the push Liam needed to defeat the darkness inside of him .

I turned away and paused .

I needed to speak my thoughts and so I glanced back at him .

” Nothing is over until you let it be .

There’s goodness in you , Liam .

Find it … Embrace it and let go of all the negative crap . I said quietly .

‘ We will always be here for you , to help you through it .

‘ I added , through the link .

No matter how fucking hard it is or how angry we are at you .

‘ Our eyes met for a moment before I turned and left the cell …

RAVEN

Dad’s punishment was carried out the following day in the cells , at the hands of Damon .

Followed by being bandaged and returned to his home , where he would be kept under complete watch .

From what I heard , he wouldn’t last longer than a few months at most .

Was it wrong that I didn’t really care ? There were some people who hurt you , but you can still love them , but Dad … There was n o space for that when I felt nothing but bitterness towards him .

I returned to training today and it seemed everyone had been warned to behave , either that or the truth about Dad had made a few people guilty .

Owen still acted like a prick but that was his nature and it won’t ever change .

After training , I had showered , got dressed and spent the afternoon pondering over everything .

What I needed to do and what I wanted .

I had now taken the photographs of Robyn and Damon and headed out to his i In the late afternoon .

I rang the doorbell , and he opened soon after , looking as handsome as ever .

I would always appreciate him , but I don’t know what the goddess wanted , it was a mess .

“

Hey .

” He said , pulling me tightly into his arms .

I hugged him back , the tingles of sparks reminding me of our mate bond , but in life , there was a lot of bonds aside from the mate bond … ” Hey , how are you ? Was the lashing ok ? I didn’t realise you would have to do it .

” I said quietly .

” I wanted to .

” He said , closing the door behind me .

“ Ah … I see … Damon , I visited Liam the other day and he mentioned that he received a picture of us kissing … ” I said , taking a seat on the couch as I took out the envelope I had received too .

” It’s what triggered him off before he came to find us The image of him marking me flashed through my mind , and that familiar squeeze in my chest urned .

Our happy moments , sad moments , painful memories … all flashed before me .

” A picture of us kissing … I received something similar … .

” Damon said frowning .

Turning on his heels , he suddenly left the room before I could continue , I heard him run up the stairs .

My brows furrowed as I stared down at m y envelope .

Have we all received something similar ? Oh , how I wish I had mentioned this sooner .

Damon returned holding an envelope , now seeming to hesitate before he held it out to me .

” I got pictures too .

” I said softly , holding out the envelope of him and Robyn .

We took each other’s envelopes and I slid the pictures out , my cheeks burning as I realised what this was …

Shit ! I quickly pushed the images back in .

The day Liam went down on me outside the Alphas ‘ home ! I looked up at Damon , who looked utterly guilty as he looked down at his own pictures and pushed them back in , running his fingers through his curls .

” I’m sorry you had to see these … I uh … guess it’s good that Liam only got a kissing picture … ” ” Yeah … ” I said , shoving my pictures into my bag .

A tense silence followed before he spoke .

” Someone’s trying to cause issues … ” ” Owen ? ” I said , frowning .

There was no one else who hated me as much as he did .

” I don’t know … Maybe it could be him .

He is a piece of shit … Well , now that we know , we’ll work on figuring it out .

” ” Yeah .

” We both fell silent and I realised that somehow things really had changed .

” I went to see Liam too .

” Damon said quietly , making me look up at him sharply .

” He wants me to deliver his punishment .

” My heart thudded and I looked at him .

” Would you be able to ? ” He smiled sadly .

“ He doesn’t want Uncle El to do it , knowing it’ll be hard for him .

At the time I didn’t think of it , but … I think he knows how angry I am at him too , and this is probably the only way I can vent my anger …

He is my Alpha and there’s not really a chance where I can vent my anger , so this is … it .

” He frowned , as if he had just realised what he had said and closed his eyes .

I looked down at my chest squeezing . Yeah , that sounded like Liam … ” His punishment won’t be light , will it ? ” ” No.

” Damon said quietly .

I nodded .

I thought as much .

I now turned to him .

” Thank you for being an amazing friend and mate .

” I said softly , reaching out and taking his hand in mine , my heart pounding in my chest at what I was about t o do .

He smiled , a glimmer of sadness in his eyes .

We both knew he knew what was coming .

” You’re no one’s second choice and I won’t treat you as such .

I love you and I always will .

We will remain friends .

We haven’t done anything that could make it awkward .

” I joked .

Damon nodded .

” I saw it coming … You … You seem different over the last few days … Smiling less , more lost in thought … but you seem t o be … content .

” He brushed his fingers over my knuckles , sending a ripple of sparks through me .

” I seem to have gotten some clarity … How can I love anyone when I don’t even love myself …

” I said quietly .

” When I’m so concerned about others ‘ opinions and emotions ? Since the start I’ve felt like this thing , caged between the two of you , feeling guilty , torn and upset .

A king once told me that I need to stop trying to accept things , to think deeply about what I want – I want to be happy .

” He smiled warmly and there was no sadness in his eyes this time , just a look of understanding and pride .

” I’m proud of you and I love you .

I always will , and I’m still holding you to that chilling time as friends .

” I nodded vigorously , my hair falling in my eyes .

” Of course , you should ! ” I said , the glow o of the setting sun warmed the room , gracing his skin beautifully , only enhancing the handsome man before me .

A man who was selfless and loving .

A smile that was completely genuine crossed my lips .

This time , there was no doubt or what – ifs .

I knew what I was doing and why .

I raised his hands to my lips and placed a gentle kiss on each hand .

For my happiness and for his .

” I Raven Jacobs , reject you , my amazing friend , Damon Nicholson , as my mate .

” I said softly , holding his hands to my chest .

But I will always cherish you as a friend .

” I , Damon Nicholson , accept your rejection .

” I will always love you .

We closed our eyes , feeling that painful pull that ripped through our chest .

Our hands were still combined .

I couldn’t breathe for a few moments from the pain that jarred my body as I felt something snap and felt that emptiness settle somewhere deep inside .

Yes , it was painful , but once it was done , I felt better .

We opened our eyes slowly , gazing into each other’s , my eyes sparkling with so many emotions .

Then , under that setting sun , we smiled at one another …..