Capo Dei Capi (Secrets of the Famiglia Part 1) novel Chapter 49

"Yes. Ren and I have been the ones doing your dirty work for years. While you played soldier, I have protected her father's spawn. Cleaned up her mess after the 5 of them decided to get fucking trigger happy. And the little temper tantrum she had a year back with that Spanish boy? Remember that fucking mess? All at your fuckin' bidding. So yes, I know her well, and she might look weak, but she is as made as the men we pay for their loyalty."

"I never asked you to encourage her behavior or get involved in their affairs, nor did I ask Ren to become her partner in crime. You taught her how to aim for the head, and the others encouraged the rest. So, don't blame me for that. I asked you to watch her and keep her safe. I told Ren to find out what her father was hiding that he put his daughter in danger on purpose. I said nothing about becoming BFFs with her. That was all you, and I'm not complaining. I needed five minutes in her presence, and I could understand why."

"If she ever finds out, Ren started hanging out with her because he had to, it will kill her. I happen to like the little she-devil."

I turn to face Deno, and I usually would twist his balls, getting wussy on me, but I don't.

"She won't, the only people who know anything is in this room."

"You told me Aliyana will be a last option. Now you are making out with her on the rooftop, dancing to sappy songs, having fucking dinner? Want to tell me what's really going on in that head of yours?"

Yes, she was the last option. Three girls were important in our world. Two of them were Camilla and Aliyana, both of who had a lot more than their virgin bodies to offer a man. Both protected by their family. The third one was protected by me.

I study my brother. He is watching me - waiting. I show him what I would never let many see as I say the words, I would never be able to take back. Something, not even Aliyana knows yet, and I only figured out a few days ago.

"She quietens the noise."

"Fuck. You should have said that in the first place. Now I feel like a puss. I'll come with you to talk to our hard-headed father." Yes, Fuck. We both remain still, staring at our city, drinking brandy, as the ring on our index fingers sits heavy on our hands.

My confession so short, but holds so much current, can never be taken back. My brother and I have always stood side by side. The bastard sons of Capo Marcello Catelli.

Even Villains fall in love.

"I will never be like you, Marco." His words are true and hang between us. It is the difference between Deno and I.

My choices are based on emotion, it is my strength. One day it will also be the reason for my early grave.

Maybe even Aliyana's too.

"Let's eat, I'll make some wraps, you can cut the veg," Deno declares. I put my arm around his shoulder and squeeze his arm before we head to the kitchen.

For a split second, I imagine my siblings and Mischa in this kitchen prepping lunch. One day.

I leave soon after we eat, Deno and I agree to meet later.

The drive to the suburbs is long and needed to clear my head.

But my mind keeps flashing back to another time, long ago.

War, soldiers and blood, lots of blood, everywhere. The screams of kids, the howls of women, the sand in my eyes, the stench of death, and poverty.

Going to the Navy is a tradition every first son has to complete.

My father told me that killing a man wasn't so difficult, but killing many men in war, serving your country was something only true brave men came out of.

I did 4 tours.

The 1st one was for tradition. My 2nd for my friend, Stringer, who died saving a kid only to be blown up with the same kid.

Then came the 3rd for all the brothers who lost their lives too soon. And the 4th one, my final tour, was for me. By then, I just wanted to kill as many of those fuckers as I could. After my time ended, I was accepted in the special forces, I refused. I was done with that shit and ready to take my place.

The Special ops didn't take no for an answer, though, and called me a few times. When the price was right, I agreed to do an odd job, but, mostly I said yes because I had a particular skill, not many possessed these days. I never failed.

My father said the war didn't change me like it did him. Truth is, it changed me a lot. I just became a master at hiding all the rage burning within me. Now, I am always on fire. Waiting to kill, snap. All I need is a reason.

Aliyana comes to mind as I take the corner toward the gated community. I should let her be, make Leonardo marry her. That is what she ultimately wants. The Bratva will still assist us.

Family is Family. She has gone through enough, and her need to find her sister will only cause her more pain when she learns the truth.

Deno is right, my wife would be a queen, but she will also be the most wanted woman in the world. An early death sentence is almost guaranteed.

I didn't get this life playing war games. The Shadow is a name too feared to be even whispered as a horror story.

Knowing all of this still won't change my mind.

I'll never earn Aliyana's love, and hurting her is something I know I will do. But acceptance from her is something I’m certain I can have; she will walk by my side, accepting the blood on my hands. The rest we will figure out, but one thing is clear,

I have to have her.