Capture Your Heart novel Chapter 119

"Okay."

Mia’s dull eyes move to the ceiling. She asks, "Can you hold me up?"

Troy is a little bit hesitant. Mia smiles, "It’s fine. I can sit. Just hold me up."

Troy reaches out and gently picks her up. He tries not to look at the lower part of her thighs.

"Do I look ugly now? Like a monster?"

"No."

"Don’t lie to me. I know I am no different than a monster now even if you don’t tell me."

"Mia."

Troy rebukes, "Don’t be pessimistic."

"Then what else can I do? I lost my legs. And now you are asking me to tell myself that it does not matter as long as I am still alive?"

Troy remains silent. Mia continues sorrowfully, "Maybe for everyone, life always has some highlights. But for me, it is just like death, no difference."

"I know you feel sad. I am much sadder than you. I don’t want you to experience the suffering at all."

"You want me safe and sound only because you don’t want me to become your burden again."

"Things have already happened. Just leave them there. Don’t think too much. I have told Robert to buy the best artificial limb for you. You can stand up again as long as you have confidence."

"I don’t have that kind of thing."

Mia glares at Troy hopelessly, "It’s just fake in the end. I cannot come back to my formal life forever. My life is meaningless now."

"How? Stephen Hawking could make him life meaningful. Why could not you?"

"Because I am not him."

The atmosphere between them is a little bit heavy. They both remain silent for a while. A few moments later, Troy hears Mia asking, "Will you take care of me?"

He nods, "Yes. I will do anything if you ask."

"Anything?"

Troy’s heart thuds. He adds, "Expect for marriage."

"I am sorry. I only have one request. I want you to marry me."

Troy rubs his forehead. This is what he worries most. Now, his fears come true.

"I am really sorry for the situation now. And I know the Charles Family owes too much to your family. But forgive me. I cannot satisfy you in this respect."

"You cannot? Fine. Just go. Leave me alone."

She yanks off the infusion tube in her hand. Blood seeps out at once. Troy stops her, asking astonishingly, "What are you doing?"

"You know what I am doing. I want to end this painful life."

"Calm down. Why can’t you just let go of your obsession? I don’t love you. Will you really be happy marrying someone who doesn’t love you?"

"But at least I have the reason to live. How can I talk about happiness when I am like this? Since I woke up, I have known I am denied the way to happiness because I am a monster now. I ask you to marry me so that I can have something to live for. I just want something to rely on. You only have two choices. One is marring me, the other is refusing me. If you agree, I will live for you. If you refuse, then I will not accept any help from you. Whether I live or die, it's none of your business."

Troy stands up suddenly, "Are you forcing me?"

"No. In fact, even if you agree to marry me, I won’t be happy. As you said, I have lost my hope for life. I cannot live like a normal person. Love and marriage just do not matter anymore."

"If they are not important, why do you still try to make it hard for me? Marriage is not a child’s play. If I marry you, then I will be bound to cause harm to others."

"I am not saying you must agree. You can just give me up and leave now. If you leave, you do not need to come here again, and I will no longer be a burden to you. You can live a happy life with someone you love."

"Why being so extreme? You really think I dare not leave?"

Troy takes a deep breath and turns around, deciding to leave. He takes a few steps but is stopped by a loud sound. Mia falls from the bed.

"Mia."

Troy strides forward to pick her up. For the first time, he sees her wounds. Blood oozes from the thick gauze. The wounds in her lower thigh are ghastly and shocking.

"Did it hurt?"

Mia’s face is pale. She sneers with tears, "No. Compared with the wounds in my heart, it is just nothing."

Troy closes his eyes and then shouts at her, "Why did you push me away? If I knew this would happen, I would rather be the one hit by the car. I don't need you to sacrifice yourself to save me and then torture me again."

"I did that because I love you. I did not give it much thought. I just did naturally. If a car rush toward you and Karin, I am sure you will do what I did."

"If you love me, you should fulfill my happiness. Instead, you are forcing me into a dilemma now."

"Then who can fulfill my happiness? When you broke off the engagement with me, grudged as I was, I did not lose the hope for life because I was still young and beautiful. I believed that someday I would meet someone who loves me truly. Then he could break up the resentment in my heart and replace you. Then I would live happily to the end. But now? I am paralyzed. Nobody will love me. I lose my basic ability to take care of myself. I don’t even dare to look at my body. Every time I see it, I hope I would rather die. Do you understand?"

"Yes. I know your pain. Do you think it does not hurt my heart to see you like this? You lose the ability of self-living. I can help that. But it does not need marriage to ensure that."

"It’s just what you think. You don’t need that. But I need it most."

Mia breaks down in tears, "My father died because of your family. My mother now lives in the convalescent hospital, crazy and insane for ten years. Even I become a disabled. You ruined the first half of my life, and now you ruin the second half of my life. My whole life is destroyed by your family. I just ask for a marriage. Is it too much?"

"No. But I am sorry that I can’t promise you that."

Troy turns around. He says to the two men beside the door, "Take good care of her. Tell me if there is any situation."

"Yes, sir."

Troy leaves the hospital and drives fast. Extremely annoyed, he feels an urge to kill someone.

Karin has waited for him at the gate as before when he comes back to Ziteng Garden at night.

"Troie."

She rushes toward him, "You have come back early today."

"You don’t want that?"

"No." Karin shakes her head, "But, haven’t you visited Mia?"

"No, I have."

"Is she feeling better?"

"She can speak now."

"Really?" Karin is nervous, "What did she say? Did she ask you to marry her?"

Seeing her worried face, Troy feels sad and says, "No."

"Then she will ask you to do that. She will ask you to be responsible for her. What should we do? I have told you to give up revenge. If you follow my words, there won’t be so many troubles."

"Don’t think too much with your little head. Leave all things to me. And all you need to do is focusing on your study."

"I don’t want to think about these either. But I am still very worried…"

"But what’s the use of worrying. Does it help? Things just happened." Troy tries to change the topic, "Have your done what I told you at your last birthday?"

"What?" Troy said a lot of things. How could she remember?

"About the present."