Cruel World novel Chapter 64

Chap 63

Sarah

'wow...looks like a lot has happened in the Grey Mansion...God is finally sending his blessing' Mark respond mockingly

Sarah shakes her head at his brother sarcastic comments. She knows he is still not happy with her decision that she is with Theo but thank god they don't have any issue with their relationship.

Mark usually calls her many times in a month and today like any call his first question was. Are you ok? hows ava? Are they treating you well? And much other...no matter how many time she tries to make him relax that she is more than fine he still doesn't believe it

Same happens today as she was telling him about Tom and Lisa departure to London.

He sounds relief finally his sister will be in peace...his words, not hers...Sarah still can't shake the feeling when she bid goodbye to lisa...how fragile and weak she looks.....she is not that Lisa she use to be...it someone else...and Tom he looks depressed and even, in the end, they both were begging Sarah to forgive them.

Sarah can't see their pain and said all these words that she said before that she did forgive them and promise them that she will remain in contact with them ...and Sarah truly did maybe that's why tom & Lisa looked little relax and smiled at the goodbye.

Sarah said with a composed tone 'Mark I know you are angry but please don't say such stuff ...it doesn't suit you...if you have seen them then you would also feel bad'

Mark sighs 'sister you are too good for them ...you know that... I mean I know what they lost its too big and I did feel sorry for that but I will never be sorry for them. it's their own doing....you know what I feel bad ...when I saw you behind the bar ...when I saw crying...when I saw you in the hospital..When' mark voice shake like he was crying

even Sarah shed some tears 'mark... I love you... I love you so much....you were there for me when i lost all hope.....but please, believe me, I'm so changed ...things are so changed and I also didn't forget anything. But moving on is my next motto so you have to be'

Mark didn't say anything next. Sarah then changes the topic 'so when you are coming to meet me... I miss you'

Mark's voice changed into happy one 'oh yes about that I might come in this week...there is some huge deal that we have cracked so I might come ...we can make some plans and meet somewhere'

Sarah walks towards her room balcony and saw Theo and Ava playing.She smiled, her heart beat with happiness when she saw Theo and Ava like that.

Sarah then replied 'sure I will love to ....maybe you can come to a home and have dinner with us'

Mark said with venom in his voice 'no I don't want to come to that house ...where that theo exit'

Sarah sighs 'mark not again...I'm really tired and believe me it will be no problem ....things are changed...if I can sure as hell work then you can come to my house'

Mark replied 'ok I will think about it'

Sarah said her goodbye to his brother and closes her eyes. Sarah was right things are changed...she can feel it...she feels confident...even Theo is so nice to her...that it made her forget things for a moment but then it comes back with such a force that it made her take a cautious step.

She flinched when she heard Ava loud giggling. She opens her eyes and saw from the trace Theo has put her into the swing

'Daddy faster. I want to fly ' Ava giggled

Theo also laughed 'really you want to fly' theo then saw Sarah standing in the balcony

She waved both of them and decided to join them

After a moment she was with Theo and Ava...well Ava was in the tri cycle...another gift from her father

They both sit down and enjoy the cup of coffee ' it's good to have an off from the office ...so who were you talking to' Theo asked and yelled at Ava not to go far

Sarah took a sip 'it was mark....he is coming in this week to New York. He was asking me to meet him somewhere'

Theo nodes and then said 'why don't you invite him here...he can spend some time with you and Ava...he can also live here till the end of his visit'

Sarah looked at him and saw he was really genuine about it.. 'I actually did ..He was ...he was not really excited to come here...just told me he will think about it.....you have no problem mark coming in your house' she bites her lip

Theo grace her cheeks and smiled 'our house baby...and no I don't mind.. he is family and I think it will be good for mark and me to clear the bad air and I know it the tough call but I will do anything for you'

Sarah looked him in the eyes and nodes. She is still confused about her feeling with Theo, moments like these made her feel like that maybe she is still in love with him....but those other memories she has in her dark portion of her mind can't let her start over completely

Then she heard Ava scream and crying voice...Theo runes to their daughter who has fallen down from her cycle.

Sarah put her hand on heart and looked terrified 'is she ok' she saw Ava crying badly and clinging badly to Theo neck

Theo eyes looked worried too 'hey baby its ok you are fine...nothing happens just a scratch....(he then picked Ava and looked at Sarah) she is fine ...she just got scared more let's go and clean her up'

Ava found sarah eyes 'mama...i fell' sarah eyes get moist.

she kisses her hands 'oh sweetie daddy is right you are all right, a cute butterfly band will heal you'

Theo put Ava in their bed and bring the first aid box...Ava put her head in sarah lab 'daddy is it going to hurt?' she looked scared

Theo smiled in a comforting manner 'not too much..just a little pinch'

Ava nodes. Theo handshakes like he was also cant bear his daughter pain and that made Sarah more fall for this man

Sarah keep saying comforting words to distract her ...theo took the antis-pectic and put it on a cotton to clean her wounds in her knees. Ava made a hissing sound, after putting the bandage theo kissed Ava cheeks 'look its all done...and you were so brave....isn't she mama' he smiled at Sarah

Sarah also excitedly said 'oh yes our Ava is a big girl...she is very brave'

Ava also nodes 'I'm then like dora..she also fall down on the tv but she was ok then'

Theo picked her 'you are my little Dora and whatever you watched on tv some oggy or Maggie I don't know'

Ava giggled and put her hands on theo face'daddy that oggy and the cococo and he is a cat, I'm not a cat'

Theo winked at her 'oh im sorry daddy is silly .....ok how about we have some snacks and watched the oggy and your coocoo '

Ava yelled in excitement yayhh...sarah smiled at them and said she will bring something

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Ava rubbed her eyes ...she was in the middle of the bed while sarah and theo were on their side watching some funny cartoons that made Sarah laughed too....sarah was enjoying a lot her little family day on the bed...she saw theo hold her hands and squeezed it like he was also enjoying that a lot

After the end of the cartoons. Ava was flat down on theo chest .....Theo then said to Sarah 'we have to meet Becca in the evening'

Sarah and Theo attend many session with Becca and surprisingly it's doing a lot of great work on her personality even in their relationship...theo and Becca was right opening up had led her to feel refresh and less confused and less burdened but this session with Becca is very important as Becca told them she will tell her final verdict what she has thought and decided for them,

Sarah replied softly 'yes I remember....no wonder what she wants to talk'

Theo shrugs 'don't know what we have to go and see what she has stored for us'

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'seriously Sarah I'm doubting your driving just slow down... I shouldn't have agreed to let you drive at Becca office' he made a face

Sarah glares at him 'don't give me that look. I'm still new in refreshing my driving skills...and this is my car so technically your permission was not I was looking for'

Theo shook his head 'women you are driving me crazy'

Sarah finally slows down 'happy ....now tell me where I should park...there is no proper parking place' Sarah looks right and left to find the spot

Theo directs her to a tiny little parking space. After five minutes she parked the car and give him a proud smile 'see I'm getting good at this'

Theo mocked her 'yeah no wonder how'

Sarah passes him a look and internally she was liking their bantering

In Becca office, they sit down and saw Becca came with smiling face both of them greet her with the same enthusiasm

Becca raise her brows 'hmmm you both look....happy and refresh....want to share'

Sarah blushed at that for no reason but Theo open her mouth 'we slept together'

Sarah give him an astonishing look and hit him on his arm 'THEO..how can you..(she was red hot) Becca I don't why....

Theo looks to Sarah 'what...she wants the truth and I don't even know why it came out from my mouth sorry' he looks away

Becca also smiled 'ok you slept...but isnt it normal for a husband and wife...or it was like after a long time'

Theo look at sarah 'sarah can I

sarah shake her head 'you already open the bomb ...sure you can go in details too 'she mocked him

Theo lips curved up a little but he sober that 'actually it was after a long time and yes it was great (he looked uncertain) but next morning was little awkward and when sarah explain why then I understand there are so many things that need to be addressed and has to get out from our life and I'm the only one responsible for this' he said it with a believe

Sarah saw how Becca looked at both of them without judgment 'whatever you both felt and realized its right... that happens, sometimes people lost in their attraction and passion so much that they are willing to forget everything for that moment but after its done those memories come back with a force an hit you hard but I'm so glad that you guys talk with each other not waited for me....every relationship works with communication, which I observed that was lacking in yours but I think 50 percent of my job is done at least you guys are talking and Sarah, I'm so glad looking at you right now.... I can't believe its so the same Sarah who was timid and cautious to talk back months ago and now I see a confident and strong women...so i really need to congratulate you on that' Becca also clap that made sarah shy and extremely happy too...

Theo was also delighted like it was a mission he completed...he kissed her hands

But Becca said 'but another 50 percent of my job is left and it can be done by you guys only....today session is not about you guys talking about stuff its about me telling you some things that i have notice and that i need it to be done ...so are you guys ready'

Both of them stare each other to get the comfort from each other eyes and node.

Becca took out a file 'ok...what I felt that Sarah you have been gone through terrible stuff that have mentally disturbed you a lot ...you are progressing immensely and I'm so happy but i also feel deep down you have a fear that don't let you open up more . Dont get me wrong you are much better stating then we all predicted but still you have that resentment and inner doubts and anger that you are not ready to let go and that's why you still can't forget theo isn't it Sarah'

Theo looked intently at her like he wants to know what exactly his wife is going through

Sarah looked confused...yes she feels something like that but was never sure and now Becca pointing out everything made it more possible reasons ...she slowly nodes, like she had realized it right now 'i think so...im trying but i don't know I just feel or something flash back in front of my eyes that let me take a step back..., is it normal?'

Becca gives her a comforting node 'of course it's normal what you are feeling...I think it because you think Theo will change again if you forgive him and he will not respect you or give that freedom to do all the things you wanted to do...and more importantly he will use your daughter against you isn't it?'

Sarah gasp and nodes quickly 'yes...oh god yes ... I feel such things all the time and was afraid to say it aloud'

But theo stop her 'but sarah look into my eyes do you still think i can do such terrible things to you again...i swear on tina i never would do that...why dont you get this man like me never lose power but you are the only one who has power over me...i love you so much that i never do such devious act on you' his eyes were begging her to believe him

Sarah heartfelt she should ...he looks so genuine but she has no idea what's really holding her behind

Becca continues 'but theo why you think she will believe you. I have to blunt here but you have played a bigger role to turn Sarah life upside down. You mold her into a weak and terrified looking women who have been the victim of domestic violence and secularization from the world for years, honestly speaking I hate you when I heard what you did with her'

Sarah saw how Theo was gone to his guilt world...where she can saw his devastation how it was killing him...she saw his tears that made her own eyes moist. Becca was so right but she doesn't like it how it affecting Theo right now.

Theo gruffly said 'I know...I know I'm worse actually I'm a monster'

Before Sarah can say something Becca said it first 'no theo you are not a monster. Yes, you did some horrible stuff but I understand why you did it. If you were a monster you never help Sarah the way you are helping her...you never accept your mistakes. You never give her the power and control that at one time was most important to you...you have become a good person because it was always inside you, only it gets suppressed because of your inner anger that you have developed inside your especially after the June women you have talked about.

what I notice the common thing between you both you guys never open up...you keep on storing that hurt, anger that made you like this today. Theo in all these sessions I observed one thing in you. You just feel responsible for everything and I'm not talking about the guilt and Sarah stuff about how you being the eldest son and siblings how you compete to fulfill your families expectation, how you love control and power that only get bigger when you married Sarah..'

Sarah stop breathing....the more the Becca is speaking the more she can get theo personality ...she looked him and saw the realization in theo eyes too...he grab his head in shocked

Becca continue 'theo you start looking for stuff that calm you...like controlling Sarah and your habit of smoking...if I'm not wrong you this habit started after that June incident....and also correct me if I'm wrong...smoking made you lose your mind more'

Theo looks away like its killing him...he pinched his nose and node again and again 'yes you...you are right...you are right about everything you have said...everything ... I don't smoke a lot it most happen when I'm in stress or I'm angry that craving its so bad that it made me mad if have don't have it on time. Honestly, I just realized in the past few days I haven't touched the cigarettes ...you also see that Sarah (Sarah also nodes) ... I haven't because I was relaxed and tension free but right now I just want to have it'

Becca note down something 'because you make that your relaxing mechanism but in reality it was making you insane...you remember how you scar Sarah back when she just said her brother name and that big incident in Miami when Sarah was in coma both the time I guess you were smoking....(theo looks down in guilt and he snips his tears) Theo it was triggering you something. You feel an inner rush and excitement when you smoke in such way it was comforting to you'

Theo looks up 'I'm never realized until you told me... I don't know what happens to me that time...so should I leave smoking .I can do that?'

Becca put down the notepad and seriously said 'it's your call...leaving any addiction needs a willpower.....if it has in you go for it because, in the end, you are not doing for your family but for yourself too....secondly now comes the most important stuff that I need to tell you guys....after this session I'm done with therapy " both give Becca a shocked and puzzled look

Becca raises her hand in defense 'let me complete... I meant I still need Sarah to come to meet me once a week but alone...and theo it's your decision at the end but I would suggest you a perfect place for you that I think it's very important for you to attend'

Sarah can't control this suspense 'what place...why theo cant come with me..why I should come alone'

Becca smiled 'relax Sarah....but we need to discuss some other things but alone...as per theo is concern...theo there is a place in the urban area on states consider it more like a rehab for people who are going through some anger and control issues ...who are some sort of guilt....this place is very popular that's why I recommend this...its a 8 week program...where a person comes back as a new one believe me Theo its very important for you, I can see the change so did Sarah but can you assure me or Sarah for how long this change will remain...how long you will be happy with all this going on'

Sarah was shell-shocked so is theo.

Theo open his mouth but then he closed it but he try once again ' this place....do I have to live there for two months?'

Becca replied 'yes and you have to live without any contact form outside world....yes they might connect you to your family once a month but purely through letters....i know it sound traditional but it works all the time'

Theo look he lost words but sarah was shaken by this change of topic 'how can he go...i mean he has a family...his dad..his daughter that loved him so much....and his work....he runs the company....its a prison'

Sarah was babbling in nervousness but Theo hold her hand 'shh Sarah relax its ok....let me do this'

Sarah gasped 'what'

Becca said 'Sarah you just said a moment ago ...you can let go that inner fear and resentment and I believe if you guys live in different places for some time there's quite a chance that you guys learn your positions and importance in your life....but if you forgive theo right now and can let go all these resentments then I think there is no issue, theo don't have to go to that rehab place'

Sarah was speechless...Becca was right it was important but now she was getting happy in her life and this happen

Theo sighs 'Sarah she is right, let me do this...not for you only but for myself. I need to do this it's only a matter of two months. Becca just tell me where this place and all the process and when I can join it'

Sarah's eyes become heavy with tears. So he is serious, she doesn't like this changes that will happen in her life.

Becca informed them 'you can join this program next week....i will made the arrangement ...just take this file (she give a blue file to theo) it contains all the information you need....trust me this is the best decision you will make theo'

At the end of the session Sarah don't speak anything...she as just quite....what else she can say because deep down she also knows this is important for theo and for her too.