Ex-wife, Please Come Back novel Chapter 200

Anyway, there was no joy on Sara's face. She felt herself like a child expecting a gift that she had been looking forward to for a long time. After being disappointed again and again, she finally got it when she grew up. The joy in the past was gone.

Things were valuable only when one wanted it. If she was not that eager for the thing she had pursued, or even lost the interest for that totally, she wouldn't be happy anymore even if she really got that.

Jacob just looked at her in silence. He was looking forward to her words, although he thought he might have guessed it. . A bad feeling came to Jacob's mind. Maybe Sara had already been totally disappointed on him.

"Things will develop in the opposite direction when they reach the extreme. The master just felt that his life was complete. It was not because he was open-minded, but because he did not want to fell off from his happy life. That's why he chose to be a monk. Some people just didn't aware of what he want even at the end of their lives. "

Lowering his head, Sara looked depressed. Yes, she was depressed. No one understood her or cared about her at all. And Jacob was just creating all kinds of obstacles in her life. Nothing more.

"What do you want? Sara, I know I've hurt you deeply, but I don't want you to lose the fun and hope of life because of this. I... "

Jacob explained hurriedly, afraid that Sara would take things too hard. He was so excited that the transfusion needle pierced his vessel. A feeling of pricking came from his hand, but Jacob didn't care about it at all. It was not a problem for him now. The problem was what Sara was thinking.

"Pursuing love, pursuing the success of your career, and pursuing everything that looks shiny. But no one knew why they pursued those things, and no one knew what they really wanted. Why... "

Sara poured out a series of doubts from her heart. Maybe she should have said these in front of the master and follow his path, but the master said that it was not the time for her to be freed from the entanglement of the secular world.

And before that, she was not ready to devote her life to the Buddha. If she was not ready, she couldn't really be settled down as a nun. It would be a burden for the temple as well as herself if she insisted on pabbajja.

Of course Sara was not disillusioned with the mortal world, or she wouldn't feel aggrieved.

"Stop, Sara. I don't know what you were thinking after the divorce, but I just want to tell you. No matter what choice you make, I will respect you. It was my fault in the past. I always hoped that you could live in my way, but ignored your feelings. "

Jacob was full of guilt. If he hadn't been so arbitrary, the situation wouldn't have been like this today. At least it couldn't be so troublesome.

"I haven't lose the pleasure in the life. I just feel that everything is meaningless. I don't know why I still have to work hard to pursue these since I will lose them in the end. "

It seemed that Sara had fallen into an endless circle. In the past, she was not so pessimistic, but now her optimism had been wiped out by Jacob.

Now, there would be no hope for Sara anymore. Now Sara had no more expectations on her life. She no longer cared about how to live her life. Anyway, no matter how she live her life, nothing would be changed.

The more Jacob listened to Sara, the more he felt that she was abnormal, but he could do nothing about that.

"I think you should go to see a psychologist, Sara. When I am discharged from the hospital and the business of the company is temporarily suspended, I will take you to see a psychologist. Okay? "

Jacob asked cautiously. Now he had been so cautious when talking to Sara, fearing that she would be angry.

He really didn't expect that Sara would be so pessimistic now.

"No, I'm not sick. Why should I go to see a psychologist? " Looking at Jacob defensively. How could he treat her as a patient just for several words she said?

Sara was in a panic. Was he aware of was he was talking about?

"I… I'm not saying that you are ill. I mean you need psychological guidance. Maybe you have put too much pressure on yourself these years. " Jacob frowned. The psychological pressure on Sara was appalling, it wouldn't surprise him if she really had mental disease.

"A movie line read, 'People laugh at me for being too crazy, and I laugh them for they can't see through the affairs in mortal life.' It was reasonable. " Sara kept smiling, making Jacob feel depressed.

They had been together for four years and had loved each other for such a long time, but for the first time, he felt that he couldn't understand what Sara was thinking about. Maybe it was because they had been separated for too long, or maybe it was because she didn't need others to show her how to live her life.

For the first time, Jacob felt that Sara was so independent-minded that she made him felt scary. In the past, she was always entangled by external things, making him difficult to see her essence clearly. Until now he recognized her real face and heart.

"I see. You still can't forgive me. " Jacob lowered his head in frustration. He had never felt so frustrated before. He had never expected it to be so difficult to ask for a person's forgiveness.

That's reasonable. Not all the mistakes we made in our life would be forgiven.

"Even if I forgive you, it's useless. I'm feeling different now, can you understand? In the past, if you said something unpleasant, I would feel uncomfortable all day long. Now, I'm almost immune to your words. "

Sara smiled bitterly. She planned to say all these in a jokingly way, but she still felt bitter. It was really a bitter joke.

"I know, Sara. Apology can't change anything. I will give you a proper explanation for all the misunderstandings in the past. I will try my best to make it up to you. As long as you are happy, I will be satisfied. "

Jacob was like a naive young man who was in his first love. He had been coaxing Sara, but she didn't buy it anymore. This made Jacob depressed.

"Whatever. I'm not looking forward to it anymore." Sara replied casually. She finally spoke out what she was thinking, but the loss in her heart was far greater than the emptiness. 、

Sara knew how hurtful her words were to Jacob. But Sara still had to say these to him. Because she had never had a chance to express her feelings. Did Jacob think that she had no feelings at all?

No, it's not that she don't have feelings, but her ability to feel had been killed by Jacob.

It was also because of Jacob that she had grown from an inexperienced girl to such a miserable feelingless woman.

It was supposed to be such a wonderful time for the two of them to stay with each other. Jacob spoke out his true feelings, but he also got the true feelings of Sara. But the truth made Jacob feel terrible.

It was like hanging a huge stone in the heart of Jacob. It was difficult for a man to control the thought of another man. Meanwhile, it was easy for us to change the view of others. Jacob had already changed Sara's view towards him as well as her own life. But he still hoped that Sara could still be the same as before.

The two of them fell into silence for a long time, till the night fell.

On the second day, Jacob had to leave the hospital regardless of everything. Although Sara had been persuading him, he had finally left the hospital.

Back to the company, Jacob was unable to concentrate on his work. If Sara's attitude remained unchanged, all his efforts would be meaningless.

No one will accompany him to enjoy the good life he created. No one would share his honor when he made achievements. No one would feel the happiness even if he owned everything in the world.

Then, the meaning of life could be imagined. There were always many people who attended to trifles and neglected the essentials. Everything they had was the best, but they always felt that the best was still ahead. Just like a monkey cracking the corns one by one. The best had been abandoned, but it wouldn't realize that until the end of the field.