Forbidden Heat novel Chapter 148

After telling me the truth he had kept hidden for so long in a flat voice with a stoned face, Lucien now had a look of clear concern in his eyes. It was easy for me to realize that he was worried about my feelings and was ready to comfort me.

Regardless of how I felt, which at that moment I couldn’t quite make out what exactly I was feeling, I realized very quickly that Lucien was right about one thing. The truth is useless.

The old me would have started crying a long time ago or somehow ended up an emotional sobbing wreck. However, no matter how shocked or shaken I felt at the news, my mind was clear, and it was quickly processing this information in light of how I should proceed into my future. Since when did I become a little heartless and a lot more calculating?

I liked Uncle David but I wouldn’t go as far as to say that I loved him or cared about him so much. The truth was I forgot all about him until Lucien handed me the photograph. It made no sense to get sentimental just because I found out he’s my biological father. What do blood ties even mean when he was never really there for me? It’s unfortunate that he was no longer in this world, but again, people die.

Death is a natural thing.

Very rapidly, my mind and emotions began to blame my father for all the misfortune that mother and I had to experience. I wondered if our lives would be different if he had stuck around as my mother’s husband and my father? I wonder if we would have been happier if we were just a normal and complete family? I wonder how my mother felt having to hide her relationship all the time while acting as a single mother? Finally, I wanted to know what good reasons did father have for abandoning us?

Would any reason be good enough, though? Probably not.

“I’m not crying. Are you shocked?” I asked Lucien teasingly as I flashed him a bright smile.

“Natalia…” Lucien whispered my name in wonder as my reaction surprised him.

“Thanks for telling me. It must have been difficult for you to bring this up after all this time. I’m ok…really,” I assured Lucien as best as I could.

“I see. I know it’s a lot to take in. Please don’t push yourself. I just want you to know that it doesn’t change who you are…” Lucien said before trailing off.

“You were right. This truth…is useless,” I replied with a small sigh as I closed my eyes for a bit. Father or no father, he was dead. They were both dead, my father and my mother. Both dead.

“Your father was a good man, Natalia. He made many sacrifices for his family…I just wanted you to know that. He loved you and your mother very much,” Lucien said sincerely.

“Then why didn’t he just be my father like he normally should? Why did mother and I have to live like that?!” I shot back, instantly regretting the fact that I raised my voice at Lucien. I’m just taking out my frustration and anger on him when I knew full well that it wasn’t his fault.

“He had his reasons, Natalia. It was all for your mother and your benefit,” Lucien replied back smoothly.

“Reasons? What reasons?” I asked without missing a beat.

Lucien fell into silence. One that I think could last for eternity. This is ridiculous. How am I supposed to know how to react if I didn’t know the whole truth?

I didn’t come here without considering that this could happen. Lucien has a track record of telling me only the things he thought was necessary or appropriate. True, it was probably because he thought so much of my wellbeing that he was choosing what he thought would be best for me. However, that doesn’t mean that he knows what is best for me. Shouldn’t I be the one who knows that best?

I didn’t want to play this card against him…

“It’s fine if you refuse to tell me. I’ll just ask Edward,” I said simply as I slipped the photograph back into the black envelop seemingly without a care.

As soon as Edward’s name escaped my lips, Lucien’s expression turned clearly grim and the temperature in the room seemed to have dropped by several degrees. I knew this would be bad, but his reaction was well above my expectation. All of my prior belief of these two brothers having a caring relationship of brotherly bond between each other was all gone by now. Due to the dark past experiences of their family, these two brothers were far from being on good terms.

After narrowing his eyes at me for what seemed like a short eternity, Lucien sighed loudly while relaxing his shoulders. I watched as he began to relax as if he had made up his mind on how to proceed with this this development. Lucien’s dark mood confirmed my suspicion. Edward also knew something about my father, and he also decided against telling me.

“I doubt Edward would tell you anything. After all, he didn’t even tell you who your father was. It was a good move to use Edward against me though. To give you credit, I’ll tell you a little more about your father,” Lucien said calmly, the dark vibes surrounding him didn’t completely subside though.

“…Thank you,” I whispered without knowing what else to say. I focused all my attention on Lucien as I waited impatiently for him to start speaking.

“If I die, promise me that you will protect what is inside this envelop…this was what your father said to me when he gave me that black envelop,” Lucien stated flatly as he gestured with his beautiful fingers at the black envelop lying on the table between us.

My father’s words that Lucien decided to repeat to me held many significances and they were slowly starting to sink in as I pondered his words.

--To be continued…