Her Volkovs #Book 3 novel Chapter 37

Nikolai and Alexei talking on the phone.

Nikolai: I don't know. You tell me brother. She used the word shit while lashing out at me for marrying her and then kicked me out of our room. We both know she doesnt curse in any of our conversation. This isnt some hard core cursing but she must be pretty fucking mad if she did it!

Alexei: Then let me talk to her. Put me on speaker phone, toss the phone inside the room and get out of there.

Nikolai: That would be a great fucking idea if she hadnt made me lock the door on my way out!

Alexei: For fuck sake brother! Since when did locked doors stop you from getting our girl back?

Nikolai: Don't fucking put this on me! You know that I hate seeing her like this. She still hates me for forcing her to marry me. She was-- (sighs in defeat) she was crying brother. She's hurting.

Alexei: (Curses under his breath) I'm sorry brother. I cant stand looking at her like that as well. It will be the death of me.

(Both sigh and curse in defeat)

Nikolai: It was not the cry she ploys when she wants me to do something for her.

Alexei: Wait -- so you know that she fake cries when she wants you to do some robinhood shit to feed the poor and the hungry of the world or something?

Nikolai: The fuck do you think I am? I'm in love -- not a fucking imbecile!

Alexei: And you still give her what she wants knowing youre getting played so you can please the wife? Huh! I might have actually underestimated you Boss.

Nikolai: Fuck you! I'm gonna handle this here as long as I can but you must talk to her first. Ill do what I can to toss this phone beside her. And call me when you arrive in New York.

Alexei: I will brother. Take care of my princess.

Nikolai: Your princess has turned into a dragon, brother. Good luck to you.

Alexei: Shit. -- Look how time has changed brother. Youre the one holding the fort for me and covering my ass from our queen. Im proud of you bro.

Nikolai: (Shakes his head) You going home to New York better be worth her tears and rage.

Alexei: Don't worry brother, I'm gonna make some people pay a hard price when I go back to New York.

~

Belle's POV

The thought that Alexei left because he chose to avenge the death of their Pa's and Yelena is lingering inside my head, rotting my thoughts and making me hate myself even more. How can I ever think of my self when the one thing that my boys have been wanting is almost within their reach? How can I be this selfish? I am appalling. I hate myself so much for feeling this way!

But I would be the biggest hypocrite if I'm not going to admit that there's this part of me that believes Alexei left because of his need to avenge Yelena. Despite them knowing that they found no connection between her death and Sergey, Alexei is still convinced that maybe somehow their biggest enemy was involved.

In spite of his silence about their relationship, Alexei is still in love with Yelena and he's still grieving her death. And I just happen to look eerily like her that is why he took interest in me. The same with Nikolai. He loved his sister so much that's why when he first saw me-- he felt the need to protect me. It wasnt love. It was grief. It was denial of the fact that Yelena is gone. That the one person they cherish the most was never gonna come back.

I quickly wipe the tears from my eyes when I noticed the door is being opened. Nikolai came in with a phone in his hand.

"I said I want to rest Nikolai. Leave me be."

"I know what you said and I'm going to give you the space that you want. I just want you to talk to Alexei first, that's all."

He placed the phone right next to me in bed, kissed me on my forehead and exited the room. Seconds later Alexei talked on speaker phone, "Princess, I know that youre mad and if you don't want to talk to me I will accept it. You don't have to say a single word."

I lay on my back and just looked straight at the ceiling.

"I'm sorry if I left without letting you know first. I have to personally oversee the situation in New York. Dimitri found Sergey's men. We are hoping to extract information from those motherfuckers to locate their Boss."

I wasnt able to hold it any longer, I have to speak out or else my heart is going to explode, "Are you doing this for Yelena? Do you wish that youre with Yelena everytime that we are together? Do you think of her while you kiss me or make love to me?"

I heard him sigh before answering me in defeat, "Where is this coming from Belle? Why are you asking me these questions?"

"I just want to know the truth Alexei! Do you love me just because I look like Yelena and I remind you of her? Do you wish that youre with her instead of me?"

A long and somber pause filled the air. Tears came pouring down my face once again as realization dawns on me. He need not answer my question. His silence was more than enough.

"Do what you have to do Alexei. From now on, you wont answer to me anymore. Take care of yourself, your brother and Matushka need you so don't you dare die on them."

"What!? Why are you saying this Belle? What the fuck are you trying to say!?"

"It's over between the two of us. Were done. I am done. It's better this way."

"Fuck! Youre just confused princess. Listen to me! I'm gonna have this plane turn around and then you and I will talk this over okay?"

"No! Youre not going to do that! Nikolai and I are going back to New York as well. This honeymoon is over. You need your brother with you now more than ever. And the Mafia-- the Russian Mafia needs their Bosses right now."

More imprortantly, I don't want a half hearted husband who is physically present with me but half of his mind and heart is actually left in New York.

"Belle!"

"Alexei please stop. I have to go." I dropped the call and started crying myself to sleep.

~

"Nikolai! Nikolai! Please! Where are you? Nikolai!" Why is nobody answering me? I feel like I'm suffocating!

Yuri came barging in the room with a gun in his hand. "Madame?! What happened?"

His eyes widened in complete horror when he saw me. He instantly looked down the floor and started to step back as if I'm some kind of a leper. "Uh Madame, do you need anything?"

"I need Nikolai! Where is Nikolai?"

"The Boss is with Boris, they took a walk outside Madame."

"Will they take long? Can you let Nikolai know I'm awake and I need him?"

He nodded and dialed his phone to text Nikolai. Yuri was about to excuse himself but I instantly stopped him. I honestly don't want to be alone right now. I just broke up with Alexei and I feel so miserable. It's like my heart was brutally ripped out of my chest.

"Can you stay in the room with me while we wait for them?"

"Uh, of course madame." He said all awkward. To my utter surprise, he took off his jacket while still struggling to look me straight in the eyes.

I tried to pull myself back to the edge of the bed as much as my strength can but I failed. Oh my god, what is Yuri doing?

He then walks toward me and handed me his jacket, "Madame, you must be feeling cold."

It was then that I realized that I am exposed. Naked as a jaybird. Au naturel.

Heat crawled up my face in embarassment. I immediately slid myself under the covers, "Can you take Nikolai's shirt instead? It's over there."

He took the shirt from the chair next to the Vanity mirror and handed it to me. He then turned around to give me time to wear my husband's shirt. "I'm clothed now. I'm sorry Yuri."

"No, I must be the one to apologize. I'm sorry Madame."

"It's okay Yuri. Can you pull the chair next to the bed and just sit next to me while we wait for them?"

Yuri obliged to my request plus more. He took an icepack from the fridge and handed it to me. He must have noticed my bruises all over my body. I admittedly look like a maltreated wife to those who do not have an idea about mine and my lovers sex life. But of course, Yuri and the other boys know what their Bosses are doing to me.

I placed the icepack on top of my hip where a major bruise has turned purple. Probably because of the tight grips of the two while sexing me last night.

Yuri adjusted his seat so that he would be facing the windows whilst still having a full view of the bed. He placed the gun on the table next to him, sat up straight like a gentleman and sported his usual serious face.

Having Yuri here in the room with me somehow made me feel at ease. I sat more comfortably in bed while turning the channel to find a decent movie to watch. Finally, I found one where they are showing The Bodyguard, mine and my bestfriend's all time favourite. It is dubbed in Russian but it actually sounds romantic. Or maybe it's just me who finds the Russian accent romantic given that I am in love with two of their own.

It's as if the world is throwing an unfunny joke at me. The part where the song Run to You -- yup the exact song that magically played when Alexei came to me at Dylan's house, tied his jacket around us to make sure I will not run away from him when he finally revealed that they are the Boss and the Underboss of the Russian Mafia-- played.

The memory came rushing back to me like it was just yesterday. Alexei and I were not yet official at that time but I already felt that he was dear to me. That he had a very special place in my heart despite the fact that I was madly in love with his Brother. He kissed me on my face many times and caressed me like I was his own. He made me feel safe. He made me feel like no one can ever hurt me, not even his own brother.

I wanted to run to the bathroom so I can just scream and cry to let go of this agonizing pain in my heart, but I can't. My whole body hurts as much as my heart hurts.

The truth is, all that Alexei saw on me all those times that we were together was Yelena. He was looking at Yelena when he was looking at me with those hazel eyes. He was kissing Yelena when he kissed me. He was making love to her when he made love to me.