In My Desperate Time novel Chapter 163

I once heard that if a man loves you, he would put on a condom to protect you even if it reduces his sensation during sex.

What Frances did clearly show that he doesn’t love me.

So be it.

At most, I’ll take some ‘morning after’ contraceptive pills.

This night Frances enters me deeply and I am very relaxed and achieves an orgasm like never before.

After completion, Frances falls into a deep sleep.

I get up from the bed and go to wash the sweat from my body.

I have trouble falling asleep when I think about leaving this place tomorrow.

When I see Frances sleep so peacefully and elegantly, my heart can’t bear to leave him.

After all this time, I am beginning to question myself over my feelings for Frances.

It is a love-hate relationship and all of it has come to an end.

I’ll give Frances the cheque tomorrow morning and then leave without a care.

I wake up early the next morning and prepare breakfast for Frances.

Since I am about to leave, I no longer bother about his restrictions on me.

Frances dresses up and comes down the stairs. He frowns when he sees the breakfast on the dining table.

“Didn’t I tell that you are not allowed in the kitchen? You disregarded what I said?”

Why is he so moody so early in the morning? Does he intend to make things difficult for my departure?

“Today is a special occasion, so just let it go, okay?”

I wink mischievously and smile sweetly at him.

He is stunned, walks down the stairs, and sits at the table, and begins to eat breakfast.

“What’s the special occasion?”

He asks me solemnly.

“I already…”

His phone starts to ring just as I start to speak. He frowns and answers the call. After a moment, his expression turns for the better.

He doesn’t say a word but I can feel that he is in a good mood.

I am wondering what news it is to be able to change his mood for the better so quickly.

He places the chopsticks down slowly, walks over and kisses my forehead, and says softly, “Wait for me to come back.”

Frances’ tenderness derails my train of thought and I am in a daze.

Why does he mess up my feelings when I am about to leave?

Frances already left when I come to my senses.

My words of farewell are left unsaid.

I’m sorry, I can’t wait for you to return.

I eat simply and I go up to pack up my clothes.

Each time I put away a piece of clothing, I will feel even more reluctant to leave.

There are several of Frances’ clothes in the closet. I am unaware of when he brought over those clothes. Did he intend to continue staying in my room?

I take up his clothes to sniff it. My tears begin to fall and my mind is full of Frances’ images.

His grin, anger, sadness, coldness, each expression is playing back in my mind.

My heart starts to ache.

At this moment I realize that I don’t want to leave.

I don’t know when Frances started to take root in my heart. These roots are full of thorns that hurt when they grow and hurt even more when they are being pulled out.

“What should I do? Frances, I think I have fallen for you.”

I grab onto where my heart is and my body begins to slide down. I lean onto the side of the bed and cry bitterly till I lose my voice.

But I have to leave eventually. Frances does not love me. He has his own family. If I remain with him, it will hurt me even more.

After I pack up everything, I place the cheque on the table where Frances will be able to see it once he enters the house.

I also stick a post-it on the cheque with a written message.

“Frances, this is a cheque for five million yuan which will clear the four million yuan that I owe you. Please transfer the remaining one million yuan to my bank account, ICBC 621xxxxxxxxxx. You don’t need this spare change anyway so please transfer the amount to me as soon as possible. Let’s go our separate ways from now on and never the twain shall meet.”

After writing this, I look around the house which although the stay is short, it is full of memories. Thereafter I drag my suitcase and leave.

Until Frances gives me the money to buy an apartment, I can only stay outside.

The hotels are too expensive and I decide to stay at a motel.

I am used to Frances’ hug and have difficulty falling asleep when I’m in bed alone. Suddenly, I vaguely hear a knock on the door.