In My Desperate Time novel Chapter 197

Noah murmurs after looking at me in disbelief for a long time, "Jane, what are you talking about?"

He looks devastated.

I can’t stand to say anything hurtful. And I almost fail to say the next words.

But I know that this may be my last chance to say it.

"I have to tell you very clearly that things between us doesn’t work. There are too many people stopping us from being together. Your parents, Frances, and the past that I don’t want to mention anymore. I don’t deserve you. I will hurt you. You are too good be ruined by me. The most important thing is, I don’t love you, Noah.”

I feel a touch of sadness in my heart when I say it out loud.

I used to believe that I would never forget my first love. I would keep him in mind for the rest of my life. But he is gradually being washed away. I don't know if it is because of the cruelty of time, or another person is taking over his place in my heart.

Noah takes two steps back, squeezing words from his throat with difficulty.

"You don’t love me anymore? Are you in love with him?"

He is not stupid. He is able to see through some things, but he is reluctant to face it. I know that he must have seen some clues judging from his escape in the past few days.

I give tacit consent to him by not saying a word.

I cannot deny the love for Frances. I fall in love with him and love him incorrigibly.

"I understand." Noah sounds almost like he is choking. "Since this is your choice, I don't want to force you. But I believe you also know that I really love you, Jane. I hope you can live a happy life. A man like Frances is not suitable for you at all. One day, he will leave you and turn to another woman. But I promise, you can come to me whenever he leaves you. I will never compromise if I am not married to you. I will always wait for you until the day I die."

Just then tears fall.

Looking at the handsome man in front of me, I feel devastated.

It may be guilt. It may be I am moved by him. Or it may be helplessness towards life.

I can’t stop crying.

Noah comes over and hugs me gently. He is probably afraid of my rejection, so his hug is very tender. But it gives me a sense of warm support.

"Thank you, Noah." I sob.

"Can I leave tomorrow, Jane? I want to accompany you again one last time."

I cannot refuse this request.

He takes me to many places in Paris. He would take pictures at every stop. He says that this is the only thing he can keep.

We are out until midnight. But I feel blue all day long. I am exhausted physically and mentally because I force myself to be happy for the whole day.

When we arrive at the entrance of the hotel, I hand the room key to Noah.

"I have booked a room for you."

He looks at me, but I didn’t answer him.

"Can I sleep with you tonight, Jane? I just want to hug you all night. Don't worry, I will not do anything inappropriate."

If those words come from another man, I would definitely not believe it.

However, it is Noah.

I trust in him unconditionally. But sharing the bed with him is still too difficult for me.

"This is my last request, Jane." He says pleadingly.

I really don't know how to refuse him so I can only nod and agree.

We enter the room together. Just then, Nicole calls me and tells me that she wants to discuss something with me.

I ask Noah to go to bed without waiting up. Knowing that he is in the room, I did not close the door.

Nicole tells me about a lot of her ideas. She wants to visit some luxury brand stores in Paris to find inspiration with me tomorrow.

I agree and make an appointment with her. Then I walk towards my room.

When I get to the door, I vaguely feel something is wrong.

I open the door nervously. When I see the scene inside and I am shocked.