Life After the Storm novel Chapter 34

I know that Landon is unsure of letting Ivan stay and not telling anyone. Convincing him wasn't easy. I had to make sure that Ivan would at least make it through the night. I don't know who would do this to him, but they left him for dead. I know that I should not have any compassion for him, but I do. As much as I want to hate him, I just can't.

As I get back to my cabin to check on him, I see that he is still sleeping, but he's breathing. I feel relief coming over me. I can breathe now, knowing that he's going to survive.

"Lily, we need to lay with your mate and cuddle into him."

"Star, you can't expect me to do that." 

"Lily, you have to understand it will help him heal faster and take away some of his pain."

I hesitate. I know that all I should want to do is help my mate and make him feel better in any possible way. As I look at Ivan, all I see is a man who broke me. I'm still healing from what she has done. I Want to forget about it, but I'm not sure if I can do it so fast.

"Lily, I know that you're scared, but he needs you."

As my body begins to shake, I am so nervous. As I put my weight on the bed, it creaks. I scoot into him and wrap my arms around him, I feel tingles all over. The nervous feeling that I had disappears and I feel nothing but relaxed. I'm not sure what is going to happen from this. 

Now that he knows that I have his heir, is he going to take her away from me? I'm hoping I don't have to run again. As my mind is racing in every direction I don't feel any kind of anxiety, all I feel is relaxation. I can't even remember the last time I felt this good. I know that I'm helping him, but he's also given me a gift of the feeling of just happiness. He is the father of my child, I want her to have a father.

"Lily, I know that our mate has hurt us, but we need to find a way to forgive him. We are meant to be with our mate, we are not meant to stray away from them."

"I don't want to be forced to be with someone Star I want to be with him because of the way he makes me feel, not because of a bond that is forcing the feelings. We might be destined to be together, but I want to want to be with him and right now, I don't want to be with him, but I don't want him to die either."

'Lily, I'm just hoping someday maybe he will be able to make up for all the wrong that he has done."

"Star, please just give me time to think about it. Don't pressure me into making a decision, especially when I already know you have made yours."

"Lily, I will give you the space to make your own choice, but please don't give up on our mate."

I'm irritated with Star pushing this on me, she knows what we went through with him. But it all just supposed to be forgiven. I don't know if I can do that. He caused me so much pain. I just want to be left to make my own choices and figure this out for myself on what I want.

As I feel my eyes getting heavy, I try to fight my sleep, but it's becoming hard to resist. Feeling so peaceful, not wanting anything more than just to go to sleep.