Life After the Storm novel Chapter 58

LANDON'S POV

As I watch Lilly walk away, I feel sorry for all that I have done to her. Even though I know it is exactly what she wanted. I wonder, though, would she still want it if she knew what it all cost?

I snap out of my thoughts when I hear Jayden yelling at me. “Daddy I don't know why you gotta be so mean to Lilly. All you do is make her cry.”

“Jayden, I'm sorry, all I wanted was to protect you.”

“Daddy, I don't need your protection. I can take care of myself. I'm a big boy now. I'm 5 years old.”

“Jayden, it's just too complicated for you to understand.”

“Daddy only because you make it that way.”

“Jayden, I think it's time for you to go to bed.”

“Daddy I wish you would just listen to me for once and not treat me like a baby.”

I watch as he stomps away. I want to chase him, but I know that it will do nothing. He is so hard-headed, just like his mother, always wanting to help others no matter the cost. He is too young to understand that all that I do is for him. I want to protect him, no matter the cost.

I had no other choice. I had to do exactly what Dean told me to. Especially if it's going to protect my son. I wanted to avoid involving Jayden in any of this. But it was hard not to. He is a healer just like Lilly and this will confirm everything what they truly are. I believe that is why Lilly feels such a connection with Jayden because they are the same. She would do anything for him, no matter the cost. This proved it.

I just hope that she will be able to forgive me, especially when she finds out the truth about everything. I'm afraid that she is going to blame me for the death of her baby. Even though it was Ivan that marked her, it was me who lit his flame. That made him go crazy and mark her. Ivan was going to Let Lilly choose her own path, we couldn't allow that. He felt it would be better not to be part of the plan, so we had to force him to do exactly what needed to be done. 

Who knew a little injection could turn his wolf so mad. Dean would not tell me what it was. All I knew was once he received it, he would turn into a monster. Ivan was our Guinea pig, our test subject. The only way he would have been able to be human again was He would have to be marked by a true healer. So, once she marked him, it cured him. She instantly healed him.

I guess it was good that they were mates, anyway. This is how they would force healers to be mated to those they wanted them to be with. I preferred not to do any of this, but there just wasn't any other way. I guess we will know very soon if Lilly is indeed a healer, after all.

I hated that I fell in love with her. Even though I was grateful for our last night, we spent time together. But I wanted more than just that night. I wanted a lifetime with her. Knowing that she hates me kills me inside. I hate that I had to be added on to the list of those that have betrayed her.

All I have been able to do is think about her. No other she-wolf even compares to her. Dean said that unmated wolves attract to her automatically due to her being able to heal their broken hearts.

That's why healers are nearly extinct. People fought to take them. Wanting their powers of healing the dying. Also, making them mate to whom they wanted them to mate too. I didn't want this to happen to Lilly. Hating that I was involved in her misery, I'm no different. I had her mark the person she hates the most. I am no better than Ivan forcing her to do things.

I start to wonder if she would have found us sooner, if she had been able to save my mate. I hate that my mate is gone, I miss her so much. Being with Lilly does sooth my pain. Maybe that's why I fell in love with her. But if she marked Ivan, it is done with, there is no second chance to be with her. There's no one else to blame but myself but all I really wanted was for Lilly to find out the truth about who she is.

Hating how Everything just got out of control, I never thought that Ivan would do all the things he did. I mean, I knew that she would survive because she can't die. But knowing all the suffering that she had to indoor was just uncalled-for. I didn't realize that Jayden would have the abilities to feel all the pain that she felt. I hate that he had to pay the consequences of my actions.

As I go to walk up the stairs, I decide I need to stop punishing myself that there is nothing I can do. What is done is done. Then I hear a sound that catches my attention as I walk back over to the door. That is when I hear the knock at the door. I waited to open, not wanting her to know that I was at the door so soon. Not wanting to give her the wrong idea. 

It's time for the truth, but I'm afraid once it is out that she will never look at me the same way. That I'm going to lose all her respect. Hating how difficult things have to be. I put my hand on the door knob and began to twist, not wanting to open the door, but I did. I try to give her a cold expression, but I can't help but to look at her beauty. 

As her lip begins to move, I'm in a trance, not being able to respond, scared that after the words come out of my mouth that it will be done and over with. That there won't be any fixing it, but I have no other choice, so I just say it.

“Lilly, your tests are complete. You wanted to find out if you were a healer, now you have your answer.”