Life After the Storm novel Chapter 70

LANDON'S POV

Once we get back, I'm nervous, not knowing if they will find us here or not. My father is such a ruthless man, all he wants is power. The strings that he went through to make all this happen is beyond me. How could I have been so stupid? I should have known better, but I was just blinded by all of it. All of this time, my mother was right.

I knew I was different from all the other wolves, but I just played it off like I was no different. I just wanted to be like everybody else. I didn't tell anybody that I was different, I didn't even know what I was. I tried to ignore all that was happening. I was afraid of the truth, I chose to stay clear of it. 

My mother told me stories, but I never believed her. I thought she was crazy. Once I found my mate, I ignored my so-called powers and moved with her. When she was killed, my heart broke. I wanted to die too. I was at my lowest point, so I decided I wanted to die. I went to the top of wicked falls and jumped. Only to find I came right back to life. 

That's when I realized that I was a healer. That's when I knew I needed to protect my son at all cost. Because most likely he was one too and if all the stories that my mother told me were true, that is when I realized he would need my protection. I felt like such a coward, tempting to leave my son without parents. That's when I vowed never to try to kill myself ever again.

Know matter how much pain I felt from losing my mate. I had to be there for my son like I should have been there from the beginning, but I was so lost in my grief. I never went back to my mother's. I was too embarrassed. I didn't want to admit she was right. What I know now, I wish I would have, but it's too late. 

My mother knew it all alone, but she did not tell me. It made me so angry that she kept it for me. She always said that she was protecting me from everyone else. I never knew what she met until now. She left me to make my own mistakes, but I wish that I wouldn't have made them. She wanted me to find my own way and make my own choices. Wondering now if I had stayed, would things be Different, would my mate still be alive.

I knew something was different about Lilly. I automatically felt a connection to her. It wasn't like a mate connection. It was more than that, like we were the same. I was shocked, at first I'd felt nothing after my mate died. I wanted to come forward and say that I was the same, but I was too much of a coward. Even though my son was one too, I still stayed in silence.

I'm still not sure of how everything happened. A lot of it makes no sense, the length they went to. My most trusted Friend betrayed me. When Dean tried to kill me and I came back, that's when I knew they were just making sure that I was a healer. Because I was the last piece of their puzzle. Unfortunately, for them, their plans didn't go as they wanted them to.

Now that they know there is a male and female, they will want to breed us, so they can breed an army of healers, which would make them unstoppable. Being a healer is a gift, but unfortunately, it's also a curse. It makes packs want to take over all the packs by making there's invincible and by intimidating all other packs. To bow down to them so they can rule all the wolves and all the packs. It makes me sick, all the lives they sacrificed just for power.

All of a sudden I hear Lilly's voice, and it knocks me out of my thoughts. “Ivan, please stop hurting me. Please don't mark me, you'll kill my baby.”

I then begin to realize that she is having a nightmare, and I am to blame for her nightmares. Regret overcomes my body. I wish things were different and that I was not the cause of her pain. Hoping and praying that she will be able to forgive me for all that I have done wrong to her. I know I don't deserve it, But I'm hoping she shows me mercy.

I don't want to wake her, so I hold on to her hand. Once my hand is connected to hers, I can feel her body relax just a little. Then, realizing that my touch affects her just as much as her touch affects me. Not understanding the connection we have, but knowing that there's something there.

I lean into her, brushing her hair out of her face, And I whisper into her ear. “Lilly, I promise you I will never hurt you again. Just please come back to me.”

I'm terrified that Lilly is not going to want to wake up. After all the hell that she has been through the past couple of months. Why would she even want to wake up? As a healer, if your mental stability is lacking, we can lie in a coma state for years. Basically, living in our own fantasy world, we create.

I need to get some rest, but I can't leave her just in case she wakes. I want to be here. I need to explain all that has happened. I need to tell her how sorry I am for all I have done. I will do whatever I need to do to gain her forgiveness. Knowing that the one thing I never lied to her about was loving her, I couldn't help but to love her. Deciding it's time to give in, I then rest my head on her hand and decide to shut my eyes just for a little bit.