Life After the Storm novel Chapter 75

We have been training for days. It seems like we have been working ourselves to the bone. I can't help but to watch Landon as he is helping train others to protect themselves. I watch as he moves in all direction's, god he looks so fucking good. I began remembering his taste on how yummy he is.

God, what it would be like feeling his hands on my body. I miss his touch. I hate that he makes me feel something that no one else can, even my mate. Not like I really know what true love feels like, I guess. Then again, I know that I shared true love with my family. But the love that you share with your partner is different, that is the one I have never experienced. But what I do know is that Landon's touch was memorizing. I think that's why I fail in love with him so easily.

I really wish things were different, that he didn't betray me. Now all I feel is hatred and wanting revenge. I'm trying not to be that kind of person, but it's hard. He allowed Ivan to kill my baby. How can I forgive him? He set me up with the devil himself.

As I see Landon, he looks back at me noticing I'm staring at him, I hurry and turn away. I hate that he saw me. I hear footsteps as I turn and I see him. I'm not sure what to say to him. There is so much I want to say, but I just can't. What kind of person would that make me, forgiving him for doing the unimaginable?

'Hey Lilly, are you enjoying watching me?”

He smirks at me. I know he is flirting. A part of me likes it, but the other part of me sets on fire. “No, I wasn't watching you. I was watching those that you are training to see how their progress is coming along.”

His face frowns with disappointment. “Oh, they're getting better. They were already pretty good when I started, but I was able to show a couple of pointers on how to defend themselves in different positions.”

“Good, I'm happy it's coming along, do you think that we have a chance of defeating them?”

“I guess it all just depends on if we are prepared when we are attacked. I have been noticing that they are normally attacking when the packs are at their weakest point.”

“Wait, how would they know when other packs are at their weakest point? I wonder if there is a link, maybe a spy, that enters the packs to watch and wait until they can be defeated.”

“Lilly, how would we ever figure that out."

“Well, I'm thinking that Dean was the spy in your pack. I heard them call him boss.”

“So you think that there is a trader in this pack.”

“I'm not sure, but it makes sense, doesn't it?”

“If that is true, Lilly, then they already know where we are, and they're just waiting to strike.”

“Then I guess we need to stay on our toes and not get distracted. We need to watch the pack members and see if there is anyone acting stranger than usual.”

“I'm not familiar with this pack, how am I going to know if anyone is acting strange?”

“Your mother, she has been with this pack for a long time. She probably is the best person to ask.”

“You're right, I don't know why I didn't think about asking her.”

I stopped Landon before he went to say another word as I see Jayden walking up. I don't want Jayden to worry about anything. He is too young. I just want him to be a child and enjoy life right now when it's peaceful knowing it's not going to be this way for long.

As I get down to his level, I say playfully, “Hi Jayden, what are you getting yourself into? Are you being good?”

“Hey Lilly, I was just coming up to tell you and daddy that lunch is ready. Could we all eat together?”

“Of course that is OK with me as long as it's OK with your dad.”

I notice as Landon's face brightens up, “yeah that's great. Come eat lunch with us, your company would be nice.”

Jayden happily skips over to me laughing. It makes my heart fill up with so much love. “Yay, I am so excited, we're finally spending some time together.” He says as he's smiling.

I want to say something to Jayden, to tell him not to get the wrong idea. I just can't, he's so. happy, why not let him be happy thinking whatever he wants to think. I'm not sure how long it's been since I've seen his face with so much happiness. These past couple months have been so rough, it's time for some kind of enjoyment.

So, why not pretend for today? So, he could have even an ounce of happiness. I wish I could give him more, I want to give him more, but I just don't know how. I want to forget all that has happened and maybe someday I will, but right now, it's too fresh in my mind to forget.

Maybe I'm blaming the wrong person and all the blame should go to Ivan. Or does all the blame go on to this pack that is trying to capture us? Knowing that when Ivan came back, it was like he was a completely different wolf. Why does everything have to be so damn complicated? Why can't things just work out instead of blowing up?

I need to stop this and try to enjoy myself for once, so I decide to put these thoughts in the back of my mind. As we are walking to where Landon and Jayden are staying. I'm not sure where that is, since I haven't been over at his place yet. That's when I see Landon's mother on the porch waving to us.

I giggle to myself he is staying with his mom. How cute he is, so different from other Alphas not caring about his title. Most Aphals have to have the best of everything. Maybe that is why I can't just shake him off, no matter what he did, there is still a part of me that wants to ravish him.