Love Aint Always Pretty novel Chapter 79

Amour

- a sexual relationship or a secret love affair: usually an illicit love affair

Origin: Latin

79

NICK'S POV

A few days before Savannah's bachelorette party...

I could still hear Savannah so clearly as I close my eyes when she told me she's marrying someone. I gaze at the invitation card uninterestedly. I still couldn't believe she's getting married. I just don't want her to marry yet, I know I am being selfish right now because Damon is already making her happy and Damon has filled the empty spaces that I left.

I know I'm selfish when it comes to Savannah. I know I always want Savannah all to myself but at the same time I also push her away because I always end up thinking that I will never be good enough for her because of my past. I'm scared about the future that she's gonna have with me.

My life has changed since I left her and even though we're far away from each other, she's all I think about all the time. She doesn't know but I come around NYU before just to check on her. I would look at her from a distant or outside the university's lot. A lot has changed in my life and that would include Dakota. I didn't really want to marry her but I knew I had to because I needed it. I needed he money.

I know I did something terrible. I know this is not a great idea to become easily rich. Marrying someone rich as hell so I could get rich too is undeniably unforgivable. But even though I'll appear as a cunt in front of everyone for what I did, I only did this for Savannah. I did this to be worthy of her in front of her parents because I'll have money on my own and I'll have a position in one of the huge companies in New York.

Everything just happened too fast that time and I don't know how to say no to Mrs. Devaloines' last will that she asked from me because since she helped me a lot on what I had to know. She has been my second mother and when she died, I promised her to maintain the legacy her company has. She said, someday she wants me to run the company and maybe rename it.

Everything was so quiet around the house tonight. I sit down on my office at home with a bottle of vodka on top of my desk and a few papers needed to read. I haven't really tried to read them all because I'm bothered about this invitation card that's laid before me. I take a look at it as I massaged my temples while my head rumbles heavily with the thought of Savannah about to get married and it's not with me.

My door suddenly opens wide while Dakota steps in, rubbing her stomach.

"Aren't you going to bed?" She asked.

I fixed myself and sat down straight on my chair. "In a while."

I quickly grabbed the invitation card tk hide it from her because I don't want to attend in Savannah's day.

"What's that you're hiding?" She asked and quickly walked to my table.

She snatched it from my hand.

"Oh." She snaps. "It's a wedding invitation." She opens it right away and reads its content.

She gapes.

"Savannah Canterbury and Damon Patricks' wedding?" She exclaims

I stared at her as she puts it back down on the desk. "The Damon Patricks? Wow. I didn't know he was her boyfriend. That woman."

My brows furrowing.

"Well, how exciting! Don't you think? We should definitely go. I think its going to be a marvelous wedding of the year." Dakota states.

I started jotting down a few notes on the papers on top of my desk to ignore Dakota who's annoying my me time. I hate it when she comes here uninvited. I couldn't think straight and she would always bug me almost every single night to just be with her. She hates it when I don't sleep in one bed with her and I don't know why she's acting as if she's my legal wide when she is not.

"Nick." She calls out.

I slightly pulled my head up to him.

"Will you take long here?" She asked.

"I'm not sure." I put my eyes back down on the papers.

"You're always so busy." She cooed.

I glared at her briefly under my lashes.

"Aren't you going to join me on the bed?" She asked. "It's been a while since the last time we had sex Nick."

I sighed and tried to ignore her still.

"Nick. Come on." she states.

"Dakota. Please. I will not touch you again and your pregnancy is very risky." I tell her.

Dakota started walking closer to me and stood behind my back. She massages my shoulders and finally wrapped her entire arms around me but I didn't try pull myself away because I don't want her to throw some ridiculously annoying tantrums again. I started acting as if I was busy reading the papers laid out before me and continued ignoring her while she's seducing me. Dakota starts kissing my ear but I pulled my head away.

"Dakota stop it." I say.

"Nick... Im so horny." She whispers to my ear as she bites my earlobe.

I quickly pushed her arms away from me and stood from the chair. She stares at me angrily and we always do this every night whenever she comes in here with her raging hormones.

"Nick come on! We're married. We can still have sex again." She says to me.

"I was drunk that night. You took advantage of it and I didn't tell your mother about it either."

She laughs humorlessly. "So you're saying I raped you."

"Yeah. You did."

Okay so we had sex. But that was one time and I was fucking drunk that night. It was the day I found out that Savannah was dating someone new and I was terribly hurt that time. I drowned myself with alcohols that led to that sinful unwanted night. I didn't know we could do it and I didn't want to do it with Dakota either but everything was so blurry that night and adrenaline was rushing in my veins, I was horny as hell since I was seeing Savannah in Dakota so basically we had sex. But I didn't want to do it with her again.

"Come on Nick!" She whines.

"I'm sorry. But no." I said firm.

"What's the use of you being my husband if you're not gonna have sex with me!" She exclaims.

"Marriage isn't only because of sex. Are you really being serious right now?" I asked her.

She arched an eyebrow. "You think I'm fucking joking?"

"What the fuck Dakota. You're pregnant, look at how huge your stomach is. You expect me to fuck you like that? That was one night. A long long time ago. So please have a little shame for yourself." I say.

I take a long drink. "And don't forget that this is only a contract marriage. We act like a married couple in front of everybody but we are not legally married. You're lucky enough I saved your ass from shame." I added

She raised her hand up in midair and suddenly slapped my cheek. "How dare you?!" She raised her voice at me.

"My mother raised and taught you well and now that's what you're gonna say to me cos she's now dead?! I should've known better! You're really hungry for money! You're nothing but a starving filthy cunt!" She yells.

"Yes I need the money, so what?" I spit.

She raised her eyebrow at me and damn as hell I hate looking at it.

"You knew from the very beginning of this that I'm marrying you for money. You got a good benefit from me by acting as if I was your baby's father while I got a benefit from you cos of your money." I continued.

She shakes her head in disgust.

"And if you forgot, your mother was the one who gave me this position and she didn't give it to you because she knows you can never handle it. I've been through a lot Dakota and you don't know half of it." I spit.

She pulled her hand again and was about to slap me but I quickly grabbed her wrist and stopped her. She grunts.

"Don't you even think about slapping me again or so help me god I will file an annulment." I warned her.

She smirks. "Go. File an annulment. Let's see who's going to be poor again."

"If I'm not handling the company, you'll go poor too. You're thankful I'm saving your dying company. The day before your mother died, she knew I was more capable than you." I say.

I grinned. "That means she trusts me more than you. What a shame, to think she's your biological mother and I've only met her in a short while, but she gave everything to me to save you from the shameful act you did."

She abruptly pulled her hand away from me. "You thick faced!"

I stare at impassively.

"You can't divorce me! You're not allowed to do that. It's on the contract! You fucking signed it! Three years is three years Nick!" She points a finger at my face while she yells at me.

"I still don't see why I'm holding on to this stupid thing we're doing. If it isn't for your money, I wouldn't stick on this three year contract with you. Just make sure I get a good share out of this Dakota. Three years and your company is mine. You signed the contract your own mother made." I smirked.

She inhales deeply and pushed her arms against my chest. She marches out of the room while stomping her feet angrily and slammed the door behind her. I quickly poured myself another glass of vodka and just stared right outside the window behind me.

•••••

The day of Savannah's bachelorette party...

My phone rings on top of my desk as I try to read the board member's presentation a while ago.

Tracy calling...

"Yeah, hello sis." I answered.

"Busy?" She chimed.

"A little bit anything for you I will. What's up?" I asked.

"I have a huge favor for you and you will definitely thank me for this."

I flipped through the next page of the file on my hand.

"Hmmm, how's your therapy?" I asked.

"I'm doing fine. Don't worry about me."

I sighed and stopped with what I was doing. "Are you sure you're okay? You don't sound fine to me."

"Nick I am okay. Look, I was invited for a bachelorette party tonight and you know I can't go there cos I'm not in New York as of the moment."

I paused.

"And?" I trailed off.

"I'm asking you a very huge favor to go in behalf of me."

I snorted. "Are you forgetting that I'm a man?"

"Come on. It's Savannah's."

I exhaled. Of course I knew it was hers and yes I do wanna go attend to that bachelorette party even if I'm not a woman. I would be willing to dress up as a stripper for her, just to see her again. I miss telling her I miss her. I miss holding her small body around my arms. I miss teasing her or making her laugh. I miss Savannah and I hate myself for what I've done to her.

"Nick. Please. Cover up for me. I'm not ready to tell her the truth yet."

I sighs. "Are you going to her wedding though? You know she expects you to be there for her."

"I know. But I'm not sure. If I can, I will." She answers.

"Okay. I'll try to show up. Text me the address of it."

"Thanks! I knew I could count on you. You're always the best."

I hang up and waited for Tracy to text me the full address. When I got it, I quickly got out of my office and took a bath. I want to look good in front of Savannah and I just wish I could see her tonight. Should I bring her some flowers or chocolates? But for what reason are they gonna be for when she's already about to get married.

When I reached the hotel, I was sitting on the lobby for a while to think if I should go up there and show myself in front of Savannah but that would be very embarrassing on my part. So I decided to just lounge on the cough and wait for any sight of her.

I began waiting here for almost two hours now on this chair and I've already drank my coffee empty bottle and I have been thinking about what I'm going to do tonight when I see her. What I had in mind? Nothing. I can't think of anything else.

I've noticed that the hotel staff were already looking at me but I didn't really mind them. As my eyes were looking around the place, Savannah caught my attention right away when she entered the hotel's bar. I pulled myself up from the couch and walked inside where Savannah entered.

As soon as I got in, my eyes scanned through the other people who were inside until I found Savannah. Sitting all alone on one chair while she was talking to that bartender. She still looks so beautiful and she doesn't even try. She smiles a little at the bartender but I could still see sadness behind those eyes. I wonder what they are talking about. I observed her from afar and how lonely se looks. I was asking myself what she was doing here when her bachelorette party is right inside a VIP suite on this hotel.

Slowly, I started walking my way to her when I noticed that another man from afar on the other corner was eyeing to sit down next to her. So I quickly sat down to that vacant seat beside her even though my heart is thumping on my chest, I tried to calm myself down.

•••••

I watch Savannah sleeping next to me while we were on top of this hotel bed at four in the morning. I turned my phone off and so did she. I couldn't sleep because I don't want to waste such view of Savannah sleeping next to me. I push her hair off her face as she sleeps so quietly. I kiss her forehead as I pull her naked body closer to me.

We spent the entire night together making love like it was our last. I don't know what's gonna happen in the future but I know this won't be the last of us.

So how can you say goodbye to someone you never wanted to set free in the first place?

__________

SFTC:

Listen To Your Heart - Roxette