Love Aint Always Pretty novel Chapter 84

Velleitie

- a wish or powerful desire for something that nonetheless is not or cannot be followed by actions meant to pursue it

Origin: Latin

84

SAVANNAH'S POV

The following days in England, I was living a harmonious life at home because Damon won't be around all the time. I would still go out to shop but I could feel some people following me secretly wherever I go and I know they're Damon's people. Aries would send me some gifts too and I won't let Damon know about it because he will go nuts again. He's very hard to handle when he's intense and it's very unusual of him to be this strict and so jealousy.

We were even invited to this birthday celebration of Mr. Mikel Edwards. He's one of Damon's closest family friend. I'm not really in the mood to go there tomorrow because I don't know the people who'll be attending. I don't wanna see fake people pretending to other fake people but Damon keeps on forcing me to go. We even fought about it last night too so I had no choice.

While I was in the middle of my sleep one night, a loud bang woke me up all of a sudden. I thought someone got into the house and started stealing things from here or maybe someone got in and tried to kill the maids. I quickly sat on my bed and turned on the light from my lampshade then saw a sight of Damon standing by the doorway. I don't like what I'm seeing of how he is standing right before me.

He turns on the light of the entire room and he looked drunk as hell. He's really wasted as hell and I don't know what's his reason this time that he's drunk but I wouldn't want to know because the last time he was drunk, the reason was his jealousy over Aries. I asked myself what have I done this time because the way he looks at me, kills me.

"Do you know what time it is?" I asked.

Give a pregnant woman some sleep. I whined on my thoughts.

He nods. "Three in the morning."

"Right and you just got home." I say.

He grins. "You're worried."

I gulped.

"Shouldn't I?" I arched an eyebrow.

He didn't say anything anymore and just stared at the floor. I don't know if he's looking at the floor at his feet.

"You look lovely." He slurred as he pulled his head up to me.

I took a deep breath in. "Damon, get to bed and have your sleep."

"YOU." He emphasized loudly and points his finger at me. "You... you are my wife. Mine. My own. My property."

Damon starts walking closer to me and every inch he gets closer, my heart just wants to step back. I quickly slipped myself out from the bed to stay away from him but he grabs my arm so fast and pulled me to him. He was dragging me closer to his body while I was trying to fight him back but it was no use.

"Where do you think you're going huh? Savannah?" He asked me.

"Damon please. It's late."

"Who cares if it's fucking late?"

I tried to pull myself away. "Other people will hear us!"

"This is my mansion! I can YELL as loud as I want to in the middle of the fucking night!!" He exclaims.

I tried to pull myself away again but I couldn't move a muscle. "Let me go Damon. You're hurting me."

He laughs. "Hurting you?"

He laughs louder.

"Savannah. I hurt you? When? When was the last time I hurt you? When did I ever hurt you? Don't be selfish bitch."

My brows creasing.

This isn't Damon. I hate it so much when he becomes like this. This isn't the Damon that I used to know. He's scaring me right now and his tight grip on my arm is making me want to run out of the room and ask for help.

In a second he grabbed both of my cheeks with one hand. "You always forget that you're mine Savannah."

"Damon...." I tried to speak against my pressed cheeks. "Damon please."

"Please? Why are you saying please? Am I hurting you?" He says with red eyes. I'm scared. I'm really scared.

"Y-yes..." I stuttered.

He laughs. "I love you Savannah...."

My tears are building behind my eyes and I don't know why he is doing this. I want to run away from him. I want to hide. I want to make sure I'm safe from what he is planning to do to me.

I'm already eight months pregnant and I need to make sure I won't get any miscarriage. My baby needs to be safe.

"I wanna know the truth okay?" He asked me like he's asking a child.

He pulled my face closer to him so strongly that made me whimper in pain. "Do you hear me?!" He raises his voice at me.

I nod frighteningly.

"Tell me..." He trails off.

I bite my trembling lip.

"Who. Is. The. Father. Of the baby?" He asked.

My heart just leaped out from my chest when he asked that unexpectedly and I don't want to answer him on this condition right now. He's so drunk and he will get mad at me. I couldn't dare on saying that it's Nick's baby because he will definitely hurt me. He will really do something worse than a slap. I want to scream for help but he's hiding a gun somewhere in here and I'm sure he will use it against me.

"Don't make me ask you again Savannah." He warns.

"Damon this is none sense!"

He grabbed my arm so hard that I curled a little while he pushes me down on the bed. My back aches as I landed hard on the mattress and he grabs both of my arms up above my head while his hands gripping tight on my wrists. His whole self hovers over me and I couldn't move. I began to weep like a child and my heart just beats loud.

"Who is the fucking father?!" He yells at my face.

I pressed my shaking lips together.

"Y-you..." I lied.

He releases one wrist and landed his one huge hand on my cheek. He slapped me strongly and grabbed my cheeks again to face him. So many tears running down the corners of my eyes and I don't know when did I start crying but my cheeks were stinging with so much pain from his slap and his tight grip.

"You fucking liar!" He yelled.

My lips trembling in fear. "I'm-I'm not lying." I cried as I shake my head.

"I got the results you liar. The fucking results!" His voice loudened.

Results? What results? What is he talking about? What is he doing behind my back aside from stalking me when I'm not at home?

I feel so helpless with my position because he's too strong and I could not move him away from me. I'm scared that he will do something to my unborn baby once he'll know Nick is the father. He's going to hate it and he's going to hurt me. I'm sure he will. I know where this is going but I just don't know what kind of results he is talking about. I couldn't explain how my heart is beating right now because all I could ever worry about is my baby's safety.

"I'm infertile." He screeched.

My eyes widened out my eyeballs. I felt my throat running dry when he said that he can't make a baby. He's infertile. Can somebody just slit my throat right now and kill me? I can't accept the fact that he can't make a baby and I'm pregnant. He knows now.

I could see from his eyes that his anger is raging all over him. He's so angry and I'm so much scared right now. His eyes makes me think that he wants to hit me hard on my face until I'm dead.

"I can't fucking make a baby Savannah..." His grip tightens.

"And you're pregnant." He says under his breath. He bends his head down and I could feel him crying.

"Damon..." I whimpered.

All of a sudden he pulled his head up and looked at me with teary eyes. I couldn't find anything to say to him just to console his broken heart because I think there's no right words to comfort him at this time.

He's not moving or saying anything at all. He's just looking at me and I feel so bad for what I have done. I know I've wanted to have a baby with Nick. It's been one of my dream to have a baby from him but as I look at it now, I pity Damon. I pity him yet I'm so frightened of what he's capable of doing more.

"Damon..." I called out his name again but softly this time.

My throat feels dry.

"Please.... Say anything." I added.

He laughs humorlessly. "You want me to say something?"

He pulled his hand again and slapped me on the same cheek. I cried on top of the bed and he pulled me up as he takes a grip on my shoulders.

"Damon! Stop it!" I exclaimed loud.

"Stop? You little bitch!" He yells.

He dragged me around the entire room with his hand pulling my hair and threw my back against the wall. Our honeymoon picture that was hanging against the wall had fallen down on the ground. The glasses were shattered into pieces while I hear a few feet stomping near our bedroom door.

I grabbed onto my lower back as I feel the pain slowly growing. "Argh...." I whimpered while my tears keeps on streaming down my face.

I opened my eyes and stared at Damon who was right before me. He was walking around in circles with his hands holding onto his hair. His tie was loosened and the four buttons of his polo was open. He quickly pulled his head up and looked at me. As if I was a killer and I killed someone dear to him.

Suddenly continuous loud knocks came from the door. "Mr. Patricks? Mrs. Patricks? Is everything alright in there?" I could hear Mrs. Darla, our fifty-nine year old house helper, calling out from outside the room.

"Who?" Damon asked me with cold eyes and his voice hoarse.

"Damon...... Im sorry." I cried.

I bite my lower lip and covered my mouth. I shake my head and took a deep breath into my mouth.

"Sorry." He repeats impassively.

He chuckles emotionlessly.

"When you had sex with that fucking guy, or whoever it was, didn't you even think about me?!" He yells.

The knocks from the door grew louder.

"Didn't you?!" He yells again.

In a rush, Damon walk-runs to me. I tried to run away but he gripped onto my elbow and threw me against the wall again. He stands before me and suddenly grabbed my neck with both of his hands. He pinned me hard against the wall and kept choking me while my tears kept rolling down the corners of my eyes. I held onto his hands, trying to pull them away from me but he's too strong. He's too mad.

I need to breathe...

But I can't.

No more air is coming into my lungs.

"D-Damon..." I cried while struggling from his hands on my neck.

I could feel my toes lifting from the ground. I held a grip tight on his arm. I feel my eyes reddening. I tried to claw his face but I couldn't reach it. He stares at me, like he's determined to kill me tonight. I cried for more. I tried to scream out for some help but I couldn't do it. I don't have any voice left to do it.

My head spinning around and everything around me is a blur. But before I could lose my eyesight, a view of Damon choking me is the last thing I saw. His green eyes full of rage.

His last words were...

"Im going to kill you."

"I'm going to kill you."

"I'm going to kill you."

He repeats it like it was a chant until I passed out.

•••••

He throws to my face a red sparkling dress. "Wear it." He spits.

Damon fixes his tie as he prepares for this party he is attending. He stands before the mirror and fixed his collar. He stares at me on the mirror and gives me an eye. "Are you deaf?" He asked.

"I'm not going with you." I say.

He walks to the chair where I was sitting down and grabbed my arm.

"You're going whether you like it or not. Now go fucking fix yourself!" He screeched at me.

I pulled my hand back. "Don't you fucking touch me!"

My tears gathers on my eyes. I may have survived what happened and what he did to me last night but every second that he is around me, makes me want to leave the room or run away from him. I didn't know Damon could be this kind of man. I didn't know he'd turn out like this. I didn't know because if I did, I would've been with Nick.

"Or what? What can you do? Your parents won't believe you. They know I'm a good son-in-law." He smirks.

"Wait until they see what you've done to me! Wait until they'll see all these bruises on me!" I yelled at him.

He took a handful of my hair from the back portion of it and I screamed loud.

"You do what I say because if you wont, you wouldn't like what I'll do to you. Now get up and get dressed." He spit.

He grabbed my arm as tight as he could and pulled me up from the chair. He throws the dress on my face and pushed me to the walk-in closer to change. I marched my way inside and even though I don't want to go with him, I know I had to if I wanted my baby to be safe.

My tears building behind my eyelids while I try to put on this dress that he picked for me. I grabbed some powder and some concealer to cover the bruises he did on me. I had a few on my arms and on my cheeks. I sat down in front of the mirror and put make up on my bruises. I would wipe my tears every time they'd fall on my cheeks.

"Arghh..." I winced while I put concealer on my bruised cheek.

I suck air into my mouth and exhaled.

When I was done preparing myself, both of us headed out of the room. Neither of the maids nor the butlers asked about what happened because Damon had threatened all of them.

I was just quiet while we were both on our way to the venue of Mr. Edwards' birthday party. I wish my bruises won't be seen or visible when the hours will pass by. Hopefully, that expensive concealer I brought the other would be useful now. I hope it won't come off.

I rubbed my stomach as we marched inside the huge ballroom on this hotel we just arrived into. Damon grabbed my arm and pulled me closer to him.

"Smile." He warns me.

I winced, trying to pull away from his grip. "If you don't want my bruises to be seen in front of many people, stop grabbing me then."

He releases my arm as we continued walking together. Damon greeted a few guests and I had to fake a smile. Everyone in this room was fake. They're all here either for free food or for business transactions. Since we were one of the guests that are on the VIP list, we were placed on the second floor balcony.

I pulled myself up from my chair and Damon quickly grabbed my wrist when he noticed it. I moved my head to him.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

Goodness! This guy is going out of his mind! Every move I make, he's doubtful about it.

"To get something to drink. Or eat. I'm bored." I bossed.

I pulled my wrist back to myself and walked away from the table. Honestly, I just wanted to get away from the crowd. I need air to breathe far from everyone in here. I headed out of the ballroom and just continued walking wherever my feet leads me to.

I entered this huge maroon colored door and turned on the light. I found myself entering an Eco-green garden with a huge fountain that welcomed me. A lot of flowers were around, roses, mostly. I walked to the fountain and stared at the statued angels above me with trumpets on their hands. I moved my head down and stared at my own reflection on the waters.

"It's a wishing well."

I flinched and quickly turned around only to find Nick Wilde with his hands inside his pocket while he's wearing a marvelously tailored grey suit and tie.

"Hi." He greets me with a smile.

________

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