Love Aint Always Pretty novel Chapter 93

Mágoa

- a heartbreaking feeling that leaves long-lasting traces, visible in gestures and facial expressions

Origin: Portuguese

93

SAVANNAH'S POV

"I'll deal with Damon after Tracy's burial." Those were the words Nick said to me.

At some point, I have concluded that life really is unfair and uncertain. Unfair, because at some point the good people dies and the bad people lives. Uncertain, because we don't know how our life goes and when the people close to us will be gone or will return.

After Tracy's burial, all of us felt drained by how early she left us. I haven't even talked to her when I came here. I was planning on surprising her when me and Nick would fix things between us, but it's too late. She's gone and we won't see here anymore. It just hurts me as much as it hurts Nick because it felt like I lost a sister. A person very dear to me. A best friend and a loved one.

Patricia Veronica Wilde

1989-2017

"You'll always be in our hearts as a daughter, a sister, a friend and a best friend."

I take a good look at her tomb and the words engraved on it just rips my heart out from my chest. This will be one of the greatest loss in my life that has affected almost the people close to me. Nick wraps his arm around me and kissed my hair. I wiped my tear that was crawling on my cheeks.

"We'll be okay. She's in a better place now." Nick comforts me.

"It won't be the same without Tracy, Nick." I say.

"She's looking down at us from above. She's happy for us."

I see Dakota walking towards us with Hugh carrying Dani. Nick briefly hugs Dakota and shakes hand with Hugh then kisses Dani's forehead.

"Thanks for coming today." Nick tells them.

"Tracy has been a part of my life too. She's gone too soon." Dakota says.

"Everything will be okay daddy. Aunt Tracy is already with God." Dani says.

Nick smiles.

Dakota moved her eyes at me, "I'm glad you're here for Nick."

I smiled at her.

"Don't let him go this time. He's been crazy searching for you ever since you left for England." She gazes at Nick then looks back at me with a smile.

"I'm sorry I got in the way. He really loves you so much." She adds.

Nick takes a gentle grip on my arm and smiled at me.

"I was hoping on seeing your child today, is she here?" Dakota asked.

"She's in Aries' car, asleep." I answered.

She nods. "Well maybe we can have dinner together some other time? Dani told me Lissa is such a nice girl."

I smiled at her. I wasn't really expecting to be friends with my ex-boss. She was all over Nick that time and now look at us, I guess time makes you grow up and forget about everything that happened in the past, even the craziest mistakes we've done.

"We better go. Say goodbye to daddy, Dani." Dakota tells her daughter.

Nick moved closer to her and hugged Dani tight as he kisses her forehead.

"Be a good girl, alright Dani?" Nick said.

Dani nods and then she opened her arms to me too. I hugged her as well and the thought of it just makes me happy. "I'm happy I have a second mommy." She whispers to me.

I pulled myself away and smiled at her.

"Lissa will be very excited to see you again." I tell her.

"And I'm happy Lissa is my sister. I'm very happy aunt Savannah." She smiles.

At first I was really worried that she won't like Lissa because she'll have to with share Nick's attention, even though I know Nick isn't her father, but it turned out to be the least I expected it to be. Dani really likes Lissa and she treats her as her older sister. I don't blame them for not telling Dani about the truth yet, I'm just happy right now that everything is okay right now, between me and nick then with me and Dakota.

"We'll be going now." Dakota bids goodbye and I watch as Dani waves at us. Of course I waved back, she wasn't the kind of child that's hard to love.

I turned my attention to Nick who was already looking at Tracy's tomb. I held his cheek and he quickly looked at me.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

He takes a gentle grip on my waist and kissed my forehead then wraps his arms around me. "I'm glad you're here with me right now babe."

I smiled.

I missed that. "Say that again please."

He looked down at me. "Say what again?"

"The word you called me."

He smiles. "You love hearing that don't you?"

I nod.

"I love you babe." he says to me.

And I loved it even more when he said those words to me. I tiptoed and reached for his lips then kissed it. "I love you too."

•••••

The following day, Aries Lissa, Nick and I went out to grab some lunch together. Even though Tracy had left us, we still need to move on with our lives and even though I lost a great sister, she will always be with me. I know she will always be watching us and I'm sure she's happy for me and Nick. It just feels too bad that she won't be with us anymore.

"I'll be visiting my parents this weekend and I'm bringing Lissa with me." I say.

I look at Nick and he just munches on his food. "I'm excited to see grandpa and grandma, mommy." Lissa says.

I smiled at her. "Me too, baby."

"Are you coming with us dad?" Lissa asked Nick and I was just looking at him. He looks at me first then looks back at Lissa.

"Please say you'll come with us daddy. That will be fun." Lissa continues.

"And you too uncle Aries." Lissa adds.

Aries looks at me.

"I'll be going back to France this weekend for a convention Lissa. I would love to go but you know how busy uncle Aries is." He cooed.

Lissa pouts.

"Don't worry, your Daddy will come with you." Aries adds.

Lissa looks back at Nick. "You will daddy?"

Nick nods. "Yes. Sure. I will."

I smiled at Nick. "I'll be texting mom about it."

Hey mom! I'm in New York. Im sorry I didn't tell you right away. There were some things I needed to do. By the way, I'm with Lissa and we'll be coming over this weekend.... With Nick. -Savannah

I'm glad you're back home sweetie. It's been so long since I've seen you. There are a lot of things I wanted to say. And you're with Nick you say? Where's Damon? -Mom

Long story mom. And you do need to explain a lot of things. I'll tell you when I come around. I love you. -Savannah

That night, Aries had already flown to France while Lissa was already fast asleep inside her room while I was on top of this bed where Nick is lying down right next to me. He had a glass of wine on his hand while the other was on my back. I keep my eyes looking at him and I can't believe we're this close after being away from each other for so long. He moved his head down at me and kissed the tip of my nose.

"What's bugging you?" I asked.

He smiles and shakes his head sideways. "Nothing. I'm just thinking about some things."

"Things like?"

He takes a long drink from his glass and looks straight ahead. "Shouldn't we do something about Damon first?"

"Nick. We'll talk to my parents before we file a case against him. I wanna tell them first. I wanna hear what my parents have been hiding from me cos they were scared of Damon."

He nods and pulls me closer. "I'm sorry. I'm just so mad at that bastard that I want to put him in jail right away."

"He's been calling me lately but don't worry I'm not picking up."

I slightly pulled myself and stared at him. "If you're worried about how my father thinks, don't worry about it. I'm sure he'll feel worst now cos we're goddamn poor and you're more powerful than him."

"Savannah don't think like that about me. Just cos we had a fight with your father in the past doesn't mean I won't respect him." He says to me.

I slightly smiled.

"I still do. And I've heard about your father's secret addiction to casino since before and I feel sorry to hear about that, I truly am. But I hate it how you put it that way." He tells me.

"I'm sorry. I'm just so mad at my dad for what he has done to us."

"I'm not mad at him. He only wanted what was good for you. Come here."

I lay back down on his chest and he rubs my arm with his hand. "We'll go to your parents. We'll tell them about us."

I nod. "We will."

I feel him kissing the top of my head. I moved my head to him and started kissing his lips. He kisses me back and our tongue began fighting each other. I feel totally alive again when I felt his lips on me. He begins to move me down on the bed and he hovers his body on top of me. I placed my hand on his neck and our kiss begins to ignite. His lips moves down on my neck then suddenly the door opens.

"Mommy? Daddy?"

"Oh shit it's Lissa." I pushed Nick off of me. Nick begins to sit down on the bed and scratches the back of his head.

I fixed myself and stared at Lissa who was busy rubbing her eye.

"Yes baby?" I breathe.

"Can I sleep with you and daddy? I can't sleep on my bed."

Nick exhales heavily. "Don't you like your room baby? Mommy and daddy are really busy."

"Nick." I smacked him gently.

"I was about to score." Nick says softly.

I smiled at myself. "Come here honey. Of course you can sleep with us."

Lissa walks closer to the bed and Nick carried her up then placed her in between us. I gaze at Nick as I cover Lissa with our blanket.

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

"Yeah. Of course." He smiles then kissed Lissa's cheek.

"Goodnight baby." He says.

"Goodnight daddy." Lissa kissed Nick's cheek and then she kissed my cheek too. "Goodnight mommy."

"Goodnight baby." I tell her.

Nick pulled his head up and looks at me. "Goodnight babe."

"Goodnight." I cupped his cheek and he leans in to kiss my lips.

We hear Lissa giggling.

"Go to sleep little girl." Nick nozzles onto her stomach and she laughs.

•••••

The weekend came and we finally arrived home to my parents'. I was amazed that they still lived inside our old house despite the financial crises they have been through. I helped Lissa off the car and Nick was the one bringing our bags. We were only staying here for a night. We stood right before the front door and my heart wasn't ready to see how my dad would react when he'll see me with Nick.

"Ready?" I take a grip on Nick's hand.

He smiles ruefully. "Yes."

Lissa pressed the doorbell thrice and finally the door opens. It was Ingrid who opened the door and God she grew up really quick. Her eyes widened when she saw me. "Annie?" She asked.

I smiled and held her tight around me. She begins to cry and God knows what were the things she's been through while I was away for almost six years. We pulled ourselves from each other then she hugs Nick next.

"Oh Nickie." She weeps.

"Hey Ingrid. You've grown up really great. You just look like Savannah."

"You've gotten wrinkles too."

I laugh.

"You must be Lissa." Ingrid squats be feel us. "Wow. The resemblance really shows." She says while glaring at Nick.

"I'm Ingrid. Your aunt. That sounded too old, but hello cutie pie." She adds.

"Hello aunt Ingrid." Lissa waves.

Ingrid stands and opens the door wider, "Come in."

All of us started marching inside and the place was still the same. The warmth of the place was still familiar to me and not a move from the furniture nor the decorations.

"Where's mom and dad?" I asked.

"They're on the way home. Bought some groceries for this weekend. Cameron will be here too. He's having dinner here. He's really really busy."

"Busy?"

Ingrid nods. "I'll show you your room."

"No need. I can find our rooms." I say.

The three of us started walking up the stairs and I found myself heading to my old room where I was still in high school. Lissa was holding my hand and she was just quiet, probably shy. When we got inside my old room, not a single thing has been changed too.

"This was mommy's old room." I tell Lissa.

She giggles, "I like it mommy. It's all pink and white."

I smiled at her. Nick puts our luggage down and I wrapped my arm around him, "You alright?"

He nods. "Of course babe."

"Lissa why don't you change into something comfortable? Your grandma and grandpa will be coming over anytime soon." I tell her.

"Yes mom!" She runs to the bag and started changing her clothes.

"You look worried." I say.

He smiles ruefully. "I do?"

"You've been quiet since the entire drive coming here." I tell him.

"I'm just tired. I didn't know Lissa would be a helicopter when she sleeps."

I chuckled inwardly. Suddenly a knock came by the door.

"Annie, mom and dad are here." She says.

I moved my head to Nick and he just smiled at me. "We'll be down in a minute." I yelled back.

"Lissa are you done?" Nick asked.

"I can't find the hole of this shirt! Daddy help me." She struggles pulling her head out.

I laugh softly as Nick runs towards her and started fixing her shirt. "There you go." He chuckles.

Lissa exhales. "It's stuffy in there."

Nick laughs.

Once we settled ourselves into my old room, the three of us began walking down the stairs and headed straight to the living room where my parents were. My heart was beating fast as we walked closer to them and I don't know how Nick is feeling but I think he is as nervous as I am. They haven't seen me for five years because Damon forbids me too and I haven't even talked to them through Skype or any video call.

"Mom. Dad." I greeted and ran into my mother's arms.

She held me as tight as I held her and I think both of us were starting to cry. I hugged my dad as well and I literally forgot that I was mad at him for what he has done into my life cos I only thought about how I've missed them so badly and now Damon ruined us.

"We missed you so much Savannah. We are such terrible parents for keeping everything from you. We are terribly sorry." Dad starts to cry.

I shake my head. "It's okay dad. It's really okay. Let's forget about what happened in the past. All that matters now is the present."

Dad wipes my tears and then notices Nick standing right behind me. "That must be Lissa?" He asked.

I smiled, "Lissa, I want you to meet your grandma and grandpa."

Lissa walks closer and quickly hugged my parents. "Hi." She says.

Both of them were crying and were cooing as the talk with Lissa. It was the first time they've seen her and I'm so happy they finally did. From the looks of it, I know they quickly learned to love her.

"Where is Damon?" Dad asked out of the blue.

I gazed at Nick over my shoulder then moved my head back to dad. "I'm with Nick. I left Damon. I want to have my papers as soon as possible."

My tears building behind my eyelids as I start remembering the sufferings I've been through. I try to choke a sob because I wouldn't want Melissa to see me crying like this. I don't want her to know what were the things I've been through with Damon.

"I'll bring Lissa to the backyard." Ingrid snaps. "Come on Lissa. Wanna play hide and seek?" She adds.

"I would love to aunt Ingrid!" She runs out with Ingrid and I began to cry.

Mom holds my hand, "Oh my goodness. Dear what has he done to you?" she begins to get suspicious.

I cried and threw myself at my mother's chest. "I've been through hell with Damon mom." I sobbed.

She rubs my back and a blurry vision of my father looking guilty for what he did to my life. "He would always hurt me. He always gets mad at me and I don't know why he has become like that. He would come home late and drunk and there were nights when he would force me to have sex with-..." I trailed off remembering that Nick was still here.

"Oh dear. We couldn't believe the things he has done to you. We never knew. You never told us. He said you were fine." She says and her voice is shaking.

"This is all my fault. All of it. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have interfered before. I am terribly sorry Savannah." Dad says.

"I've forgiven you. No matter how much I would try to hate you, you're sill by father. That's why I want to divorce Damon." I say firmly.

"Nick?" Mom calls out Nick. "Come closer." She commands.

And Nick begins to walk near us. He stands right next to me at the same time my brother comes marching in the house but stands in the corner.

"In behalf of my husband, I would--"

"Let me do it." Dad cuts off mom.

He looks at Nick and I think he is embarrassed of what he has done to the two of us. "I am truly sorry Nick."

My tears starts falling again and I was just too happy seeing this scene happening before me.

"I am really sorry for all the things I've done. Im sorry. If I knew Damon would hurt Savannah and would steal our company from us, I shouldn't have let her marry that bastard." Dad says.

"I don't hold grudges Mr. Canterbury. I respect you so much that I look up to you." Nick tells dad. "I couldn't stay mad and even if I was it will do no good to me. My mom taught me to be forgiving, I also am indebted to you for what you did to Tracy."

"We're sorry for your loss. I saw the news." Mom says softly.

My smile couldn't leave my face and I quickly turned my attention to Cameron when he starts to make his entrance. "I came as soon as I heard Nick was here." Cameron speaks.

He stands right in front of me and looks at Nick eagerly. "I owe you a thank you, Nick."

My brows creasing. "What are you talking about Cameron?"

"Didn't you know? Nick bought our company back from Damon's hands. He made me president." Cameron spills out.

I quickly moved my head to Nick and he was as shocked as I am.

__________

SFTC:

Only Love - Ben Howard