Love Aint Always Pretty novel Chapter 95

Perpetuity

- the state of continuing forever or for a very long time

95

NICK'S POV

At first, I never actually believed in happy endings that it exist because based from my past, I thought my happy ending ended when Catherine died. I shut myself out from people and never have opened myself to anyone except my sister and Alec. Sometimes I shut my sister and Alec too. I knew from the very beginning that reality and fantasy are two different things.

But as I stand in the doorway of our bedroom and watch Savannah sleep, I knew my happy ending is already happening. She doesn't know I do this, but I do it every morning because she's the reason why I start my day, no matter how busy I am in the office.

It wasn't the first incident that I've done this, the first time was the morning that I first met her. I couldn't remember much from that night before because I was wasted as hell but the only thing I actually remembered was her and how I was lying on the floor of Tracy's dorm room, and Savannah was stroking my hair, telling me her name wasn't Catherine that it was Sa-van-nah. It's funny right now as I remember it, I guess it wasn't that funny that night cos I was really drunk.

When I woke up the following morning in Tracy's room, for some unknown reason, I honestly couldn't get her out of my head.

I thought she was just a dream until I saw her sleeping on top of her side of the bed. I watched her sleep for a while. I watched as her chest goes up and down as she breathes. I watched every corner of her body. I watched her eagerly that I was afraid of what I felt that moment, because the first time I laid my eyes on her was something I never felt when I first laid my eyes on Catherine. It scared me to death because as I stood on the side of her bed, she brought back so many feelings that had been foreign to me over the past eight years.

It frightened me that's why I didn't invite her to the frat party that night but still she showed up so beautifully wearing such simple outfit.

I always thought she looked like an angel, so beautiful and simple.

The second Savannah opened her eyes and looked at me, I knew she was going to be the one who'll bring me back to life but the only thing that was the problem to me was I didn't want to be brought back to life since I was comfortable protecting myself from experiencing what I experienced in the past. I'm frightened I might go through it again and I've tried to control my feelings that I was experiencing towards Savannah that day. But I couldn't control them if I'd wanted to. I know because I tried like hell. I tried so hard but I still failed.

When I finally kissed her at my old house back in town, I knew from that moment that I wanted much more than just kissing her. I wanted her mouth, her tongue, her hands, her body, her mind and the only reason stopping me was that I felt I was also wanting her heart. I was also wanting her love. I was also wanting her to feel what I was feeling and I was scared by it.

I was the best at lying to myself and convincing that I was strong enough to have her physically because I didn't want to her hurt again and I was sure as hell that I didn't want to hurt Savannah too.

I did anyways.

A lot of times.

More than once, even.

Now I plan to spend my lifetime making it up to her for what I've done. And when I think about how many times I've left her before, I guess I was pretty terrible for doing that without telling her after making love to her.

I think love is the biggest and strongest word there is in life. When you fall in love, you learn to forgive and forget all the mistakes they've done, you learn to put others first, you learn to make friends with the people you don't really like because they're related to your significant other and you learn to make sacrifices for yourself and for other people, heck you even learn to shut yourself out from people and push people away but then eventually you'll cave in to the feelings because it's stronger than what you think. So I guess, love is a big word.

Love...

I never actually thought love could find a way to me and Savannah.

I sit on the edge of the bed and I think she felt the bed shift because she opens her but not all the way. She pulls the bed covers over her head and rolls over.

"Wake up sleepyhead. We've got a plane to catch." I say.

"Hmmm..." she hums.

"Lissa is already whining downstairs. Come on babe. Let's go." I continued.

We've been together for over a year now still not married yet, and it's still difficult for me to wake her up early in the morning because she wasn't always a morning person.

"Savannah... wake up." I kiss the area of the blanket covering her ear.

She doesn't move nor answer me but she was groaning. I pulled the covers and slide in behind her, wrapping myself around her. Then her groan started becoming a soft moan.

"Babe..."

No answer.

"Babe c'mon we have a plane to catch."

That gets her attention cos she rolls over cautiously and pulls the covers from over our heads.

"What the hell do you mean we have a plane to catch?" She asked.

I grinned.

"Nick?" She asked.

She's too cute when her sleep gets cuts off because I wake her up.

"Get up, get dressed, let's go. We're heading somewhere. Don't worry about your luggage, I already told the maids to pack it for you." I say.

She's eyeing me suspiciously as she gazes at the clock behind me. "It's not even five o'clock in the morning yet."

I nodded and smiled.

"I know you know how rare it is for me to have an entire day off without thinking about work so this better be worth it." She says.

I laughs and give her a quick kiss. "It will be if you're punctual. I forgot to greet my beautiful woman. Good morning babe."

She smiles. "Good morning." She kisses me back really quick.

I stand up and pat the mattress several times with the palms of my hands.

"So get out, get out, get out of our bed." I began to sing this One Direction song that Lissa had been listening to every single day that has gotten into me but I slightly changed the lyrics.

She laughs and throws the covers off of her. "I guess Lissa had been influencing you in such songs."

I smile at her.

"I hope you're not mad at me right now." I say.

"It's hard to stay irritated with you when you're this giddy, Nick." She winks.

The door quickly opens.

"Is mom awake?" Lissa barged in.

"It was hard to wake her up but I did it." I winked at Lissa.

She smiles. "I told you you needed my help daddy. Come on mom! Take a bath and hurry up!"

I laugh and Savannah joins me too.

"You heard the boss." I tell Savannah.

"Alright. I'm up. I'm going to take a shower." Savannah stands and walks closer to Lissa.

"Where's my good morning kiss?" Savannah asked Lissa.

She began to kiss Savannah's cheek continuously and the both giggled. Savannah have a peck on Lissa's forehead and she briefly hugs her mommy. "Good morning mom."

"Good morning to you too baby."

I walked to them and placed my arm around Savannah's shoulder. "Why don't you go take a bath now? We can't be late."

"Oh Nick. What's the rush?" She smiles and kissed my cheek. "But since I love you, I'll take a quick shower."

I watch her as she struts her stuff.

"I love you too." I yelled back.

"Pssst, daddy." Lissa called my attention.

"Yes sweetheart?"

"Is it ready?" She asked whisperingly.

I pulled my thumb up. "Everything is set. Don't be too obvious, okay?"

Lissa nods happily.

•••••

We climb up the steps and got into my private plane while the two stewards and three stewardesses welcomed us with a smile. I take a look outside the window and good thing the sun still hasn't showed up. No ray of sunlight hasn't even broken through the clouds just yet, and there's not very much to see at this point but Lissa kept gazing outside. She's really excited. We've only been in the plane for ten minutes now, but I'm pretty sure she will be fascinated and mesmerized as I hoped she would be, I hope Savannah would too.

"Honey what are you always looking outside the window?" Savannah asked.

"Nothing mom." Lissa watches her mommy buckles her seatbelt for her.

Lissa was getting giddy once she heard the captain talk over the intercom that we'll be taking off any minute now. The captain's door was open and I intentionally did it, because of something I want the three of us to experience together.

I glance at Savannah, and she's staring back at me, watching me eagerly with her beautiful appreciative smile spread across her lips. "You okay sitting next to the window?" I asked.

She nods. "Of course. My heart is pounding and I'm sort of excited for what the two of you has planned."

I smiled at her, "Relax babe."

When the plane begins to move forward, Lissa was observing every move of the plane while me and Savannah were smiling at each other because she's as focused just like me. She keeps on gazing out when the rollers of the plane took off the land.

"Want to know why we took off earlier?" I ask her.

She glances over her shoulder to look at Lissa who's so focused looking at the 4AM clouds, and then looks back at me. "Because Lissa has never done this before."

I shake my head, timing it just right of what I wanted them to see. "The first time I got on a plane this early, I was alone by myself."

She nods, but her eyes are curious now.

"I saw the sunrise from up here and then I remembered you." I say.

"Me?" Savannah asked.

I nod, "You always loved watching sunrise and sunsets together. So I promised myself to bring you with me next time. I want you to experience the sunrise from up here just like I did."

"Is it beautiful daddy?" Lissa asked.

I smiled at her, "It's not something that I can describe myself, baby." I point out of their window.

"I think you just have to experience it for yourself to see." I added.

The two of them quickly turned their attention back to the window. Lissa unbuckled her seatbelt and rushed to Savannah's lap, her tiny palms pressed against the glass, and for five minutes straight, the two of them didn't move a muscle. They watched it the entire time together, Lissa would point out of the window and Savannah would nod in agreement then whisper to our daughter's ear.

The staff also looked outside of their windows and had triumphant smiles plastered on their faces.

I watch Savannah eagerly and I don't know how this is even possible but I fall even more in love with her in this moment.

When the sun has broken out through the cotton candy clouds and the plane is completely filled with sunlight, Savannah finally turns back and faced me. Her eyes are filled with little tears, and she doesn't speak a word. She just reaches for my hand and I quickly unbuckled my seatbelt and transferred to the seat next to her then holds her hand as tight as I could.

"I love you." She says against my lips before pressing them on me.

I kissed her back while Lissa's attention was still towards the window.

"I love you too Savannah." I say.

•••••

Finally, the plane begins to stop moving and I quickly knew that we just landed safely.

"Wait here." I say to Savannah.

"Where are you going?" She asked.

"I need to thank the pilot, we'll be having breakfast together after this. I'll be quick." I say, kissing her forehead then Lissa's too.

I pulled myself up from the seat and walked to the pilot. I thanked him and he smiled at me happily while handing me the small box.

"Good luck Mr. Wilde." He tells me.

"Thanks Francisco." I thanked him again.

I went back to where Savannah was seated and saw her unbuckling her seatbelt, so I rushed back next to her, hiding the small box behind me.

"You're very incredible Nick. And I have to say, I can't best describe how much I love you." She tells me.

She kisses me quickly on the mouth but I quickly pushed her back down. She looks at me intently.

"We're not yet done." I say.

Lissa giggles and jumps off from Savannah's lap. I winked at her and she smiles happily at me.

"You're the only woman that made me realize that I want to fall in love again for the last time." I say.

She bites her lower lip and hides her smile. I lean forward to kiss her, and watch her eyes close the minute I was only an inches away from her but I kept my eyes open so I can make sure that I'm still holding the silver colored box first. When I finally gripped tight on it, I stop kissing her and pulled myself away. She smiles at me then I quickly showed her the box. The female staff were gasping and even the pilot went out to take a look. They were as shock. Savannah's eyes fall to the box and immediately widens, then she looks back up at me. Her hand comes up to her mouth, and she covers her gasp.

"Nick..." her voice shakes.

I pulled myself up from the seat and knelt down before her.

"Oh my god." She says.

"Savannah, I've been through hell and I've been through much in life from the past but you came along and taught me how to live again." I tell her as I hold her hand tight.

"When I saw you..." My voice was shaking. "I knew I wouldn't want to love anybody else other than you." I tell her and I was keeping my tears to myself. She bent her head down for a while and her tears were streaming the second she looked back at me.

"Will you marry me?" I finally asked.

She looks down at the box then looks back at me with tears streaming down her face.

"Hell yes."

She threw herself at me and kissed me senseless. I loved it. We hear my staff clapping for us and Lissa was screaming with happiness. We pulled ourselves away from each other with smiles plastered on our faces.

"I'm not a very good cook." Savannah begins to say as she begins to hold my face. "You do the laundry better than I do. You know I just throw the white and colored together in one mix. And you know I hate cleaning. I hate chores."

I chuckle. "I know what I've gotten myself into and I'm readier than ready."

She smiles.

"I want your used dirty clothes scattered on my bedroom floor or elsewhere. I want your underwear mixed with mine. I want to look at you looking for your clothes after taking a bath. I want my white shirt stained with colors cos you mixed them together while doing the laundry."

She laughs softly.

"I want to eat anything you'll cook for me. I want your toothbrush and your make up essentials in my bathroom. I want your shoes in my rack. I want your leftovers in my fridge. I want to wake up every single morning right beside you, looking at you with nothing on you but the bedsheets."

She smacks me while smiling sheepishly and the employees were laughing too.

"I want all of your mess inside my house Savannah." I say as I was wiping her tears.

She smiles at me while crying.

"I want you in my forever." I leaned in to kiss her forehead.

Her tears streaming down her face again.

"I love you." She mouths to me.

I look at Savannah and everything about her is beautiful. Her face, her hopes, her smile, her laugh even when she's not in the mood or she's mad at me or she's having period or cramps, she's still beautiful to me.

Her love will always be beautiful to me.

And her beauty owns all of me.

_________

SFTC:

Yours - Ella Henderson