Love is the Sunshine novel Chapter 57

"Who is that?"

There was no way it could be Sean because during this time, he should still be at school attending his classes. If it was not him, then who could it possibly be?

Carla couldn't think of anyone who would be dropping by for a visit, so she put down her phone on the table, put on her slippers, and walked toward the door. Looking through the peephole, she intrigued to find out who was outside the door.

Surprisingly though, there was no one outside and all she could see was an empty stoop by her doorstep.

Driven by intense curiosity, Carla slowly opened the door, craning her neck out carefully. Of course, she did it with extreme caution, with one hand pressing on the door, just in case she might need to draw back and lock it up anytime.

However, as she was cautiously looking around, she got a bit startled after noticing a figure leaning against the side of the wall.

It was a man, someone she wasn't expecting to see at all.

"Hey, there. It's been a while. Aren't you going to invite me in?"

Terence stared at the woman who had been very wary all the while. She appeared to have been so stunned upon seeing his appearance after such a long time of having no communication between the two of them.

Carla swung the door fully open, rubbing the back of her head. It seemed like she bumped it somewhere when she reflexively took a step backward in surprise.

Terence observed every move she made. Back when they were still living together, he would have reached out a helping hand in an instant, caressing the back of her head, and playfully teasing her for being so clumsy and for behaving in such a silly manner.

The truth was that he actually still had the impulse to hold her in his arms the moment he was finally able to lay his eyes on her again.

But he simply refrained from doing so. In fact, it took almost all of his strength just to hold back the urge to do so.

He knew full well that he had to be thick-skinned if he really wanted to meet her, because he couldn't think of any other way he would be able to face her after everything that had happened.

Upon entering the room, Terence deeply frowned. He was saddened by the fact that the current place Carla and Sean were staying in was even more cramped than their previous one. At least, back then, there used to be two separate bedrooms. Now, there was only one bedroom available and a living room with a sofa bed.

The furniture and the electrical appliances looked so crude that it was so apparent, even with just a single glance, that they had only been acquired for temporary use.

Looking around the apartment, he wondered out loud, "Does Sean sleep in the living room?" Unable to stop himself from asking, he simply couldn't bear the thought of Carla sleeping in the living room.

"I'm the one who sleeps here," Carla replied, "because I would most probably be out until way up late, so I just didn't want to disturb him in his sleep by the time I get back from work if he stays in the living room instead."

Upon closer inspection, he actually noticed Carla's pajamas hanging on the headboard of the sofa bed in the living room along with a few of her other belongings within arm's reach.

All of it was proof enough that what she had just told him was indeed true.

At that point, Terence started getting entangled with various kinds of complex emotions. It felt as if someone was tearing his heart into a million pieces and setting it on fire, greatly saddening and disheartening him.

Coming from a rich family, he couldn't begin to imagine how she could go on living while being stuck in such a miserable situation. She had obviously been going through a lot after that tragic fire in their old apartment.

And she had never even spoken a word about any of this nor turned to him for help.

"I've heard about what happened to your previous apartment. Have you found any clues?" Trying really hard not to look straight into her eyes, Terence forced it upon himself to bring up a different topic. He quickly turned his gaze away from her and stared at a piece of furniture, something which he could only describe using the word "depressing".

"No. They only told me that it had been caused by leakage of natural gas, but no one was able to completely explain how it happened in great detail. And I honestly think it would just be really troublesome to look any much further into it, so I just quit bugging them to investigate and let it go," Carla said, thinking he just remained standing there because he felt it would be too disgraceful to sit on their haphazard dwelling.

So, she quickly fetched a couple of clean sheets and laid them over the second-hand sofa. It was honestly a bit pitiful to look at, but they had to make do with what they had got. At the very least, Carla and Sean still had each other safe and sound.

Though they used to live in a place that wasn't really that much larger, it was still considerably much better if you would compare it to the one they were currently residing in. At least, she didn't have to pay the rent before because that house belonged to their parents.

This one, on the other hand, was located in the best school district, so the rent was a bit steep, and it could go even much higher if you brought in electrical appliances. To make matters worse, she had no idea when she could possibly get employed again. Therefore, she had to cut off all the unnecessary expenses on a tighter budget to sustain a living much longer.

Terence felt like his heart had just gotten stabbed multiple times by a knife as he watched her doing all of this, but he just kept standing still.

"Make yourself at home and take a seat, please, Mr. Terence, if you don't mind the mess,"

Carla fixed herself up and said, feeling a bit awkward that he just stayed standing there.

Terence's brows furrowed like a knot that seemed like no one would be able to untangle it even if thousands of years had passed. "Carla," Terence said in a hoarse voice. "Why are you still being so stubborn even now?"

Carla seemed to have faltered for a second, unsure how to respond to his question. Coughing softly, she headed toward the kitchen, and then came back holding a glass of water.

"Everyone is bound to their own fate. It's not simply a matter of being stubborn or not."

Terence grinned with a hint of bitterness visible on his face, looking at her with his gloomy eyes. "That's bullshit! This is all because you just can't bring yourself to let go of the past and try to overcome it. Yes, you might've been chained so tightly for such a long time now, but it was also you who had chained this upon yourself."

He cussed because he was so fuming with rage that he couldn't control his emotions. After trying real hard to refrain from doing it for so long, it all suddenly came out in a burst.

He couldn't accept the fact that the woman he loved so deeply had been backed into a corner and was being forced to live such a difficult life without him knowing, because no matter what, she would have never told him anything about it if she had a choice.

'Could she perhaps be thinking I'm even worse than Evan?' he thought to himself.

"If I had known things would end up like this, and you'd get caught up in this situation, I wish you had not saved me on that fateful day. I wish you had just left me dying alone on the street. So that, at least..."

'You couldn't have stolen my heart and torn it into pieces like this in my face.'

But because he just couldn't get beyond his stupid pride, he wasn't able to bring himself to say that last part to her out loud.

Tears began welling up in his eyes, but in the end, he didn't bother sitting down, and just proceeded to turn away and leave.

Whoever it was that said "The one who loves first is doomed to lose" was goddamn right. He lost completely.

As soon as he left, Carla collapsed in the sofa with her arms wrapped around her legs, curled up in a ball, and her head tucked between her knees. It had been so long since the last time she had felt like a helpless child with nothing to hold onto.

She was under the assumption that he had already moved on, but she was wrong, so wrong, because he never really did, and he had been deeply hurt by her.

She didn't realize that until now. Thinking that maybe it would be for the best, she decided to keep distancing herself from him on her own.

It was because she thought that since he was a renowned man, his distinguished identity could have easily sheltered him from harm, but now, she realized she had been severely wrong.

Even though he tried not to let it show, she was still able to easily notice how gloomy his eyes were, which had seemed so alienated to her. Those were not the eyes that she used to know. The Terence she had spent that magical summer with in the past would always be cheerful and graceful around her.

'Carla, are you sure you made the right decision? Could you actually be doing the wrong thing?'

This was the first time that she had ever had that much hesitations. She doubted whether her persistence had been in the wrong place.

Because she came to the sudden realization that she hurt him, and at the same time, she hurt herself as well much too greatly.

She lost track of time and didn't even realize how long she had been indulged in those thoughts after he left, completely caught up in the ways of emotions.

Suddenly, Carla instinctively felt that something was quite amiss. Upon looking up at the clock and checking the time, she found out that time had flown so fast and it was already 7 o'clock in the evening.

Sean should have been back by this time!

'What the heck is he thinking staying out that late? Where else could he have possibly gone? I've reminded him time and time again to head straight home as soon as class is over, ' Carla thought under so much distress. They just moved there recently, and he hadn't made any friends in the neighborhood yet.

She was hit by an abrupt feeling of intense fear, without having even so much as an inkling where Sean might be.

But Carla was aware that she had no time for having all of those unhappy thoughts, so she immediately grabbed her phone and was in such a hurry to leave the apartment and go look for Sean. Just as she was about to go down a flight of stairs, she was struck by a strong sense of deja vu.

Terence!

That was right! He probably bumped into Sean when he was on his way back after leaving the apartment.

Yes, that must be it!

The time Terence left and the time Sean usually came back from school fitted well. Surely, they were just hanging around somewhere and being boys, having a great time catching up with each other.

It reminded the very similar situation when they were in JA City back in the summer. She thought Sean was gone missing and almost freaked out. In the end, it turned out that Sean went with Terence without telling her. She calmed down a little bit, thinking it was a mere false alarm. It wouldn't have hurt for them to let her know they would be going out though, so she wanted to confirm it just to be sure.

Sean liked Terence very much, so there was a chance he must have followed Terence back to his place.

"Hi... Terence, can you tell me where you are right now?"

Carla asked, trying to mask her trembling voice over the phone. Fortunately, as luck would have it, every single time she had the impulse to delete his number, she just couldn't bring herself to do so. Something deep down her heart always managed to prevent her from erasing him completely out of her life.

Now, the number finally ended up coming in very handy.

"I'm on my way back to the hotel. What's the matter? Is everything okay?" Terence asked anxiously, thinking he had just been seeing things when he saw Carla's caller ID upon checking his phone. He didn't think she'd ever be the first to call him after their previous conversation.

Upon leaving from her apartment, he didn't go back right away, and instead paced back and forth around the building in exasperation for a quite some time to clear up his emotions.

But as soon as he heard her voice, all of the complex emotions he had tried so hard to rid himself of suddenly came rushing back again just like that and his heart started hammering once more.

"Is Sean with you? He should have been back home by now. Did you meet up with him when you went downstairs? Put him on the phone. I'll let him know how I'm going to discipline him later. He needs to be taught a lesson for making me worry about him."

Carla tried her best to make her voice sound calm over the phone, but it still came out trembling with uneasiness. All she wanted was to make sure Sean was doing just fine.

"Has Sean gone missing? Hasn't he come back to your apartment yet?"

furrowing his brows, Terence asked. He gestured toward Nathan who was driving to tell him to turn the car around. "Carla, calm down. Sean isn't with me right now. But I'll go back to your apartment as soon as possible to help you look for him. I'm on my way as we speak. Stay right where you are. Don't worry. I am here for you."

Carla's blood ran cold upon hearing Sean was not with him. Losing all of her strength, she turned so feeble that she couldn't even hold the phone properly.

She had already been frightened once in JA City, but that was a real false alarm because she found out later that he was just with Terence roaming around. This time, it was really happening. It was getting totally dark outside.

And she still couldn't see any signs that Sean might be coming back anytime soon.

Carla's heart was beating so loud you could probably hear it from a mile away. Anxiety had submerged her deeper than ever before.

The fear of losing someone close was unimaginable unless one had already experienced it firsthand.

Carla desperately wanted to go downstairs right away to look for Sean, only to find herself weak in the knees, unable to move an inch. She had never really hated herself before for being so vulnerable, not until now.

She thumped on her legs as hard as she could, desperately wanting to get herself to move and find Sean as soon as possible. It would be much better to believe that Sean had just been having such a good time hanging out at his friend's house, so much that he lost track of time.

"Carla!"