My Fiancée Hates Me novel Chapter 18

Rainy days are essential, especially for warm and sunny climates. Nariel receives rain particularly four months of the year and over a hundred and fifty days in a whole year. Today just happens to be one of those rainy days.

I can clearly smell the humid air and hear each individual drop of rain as it hits the ground. It is calming...almost a bit too much.

The usually bustling library was quiet. Only the steps of the staff could be heard. I expected as much since the rainfall was especially heavy today. I only had a few simple tasks for today and was made to close all of the windows before my next break. I had finished my task and found myself reading another book in the back of the library.

"Ari...Arielle..."

I could hear someone's voice calling my name.

I opened my eyes and saw my hand stroking a familiar blonde head.

We were both laying down beside each other in a bed of white sheets.

"...Erik?"

"Who did you think it was?" he asked with a teasing tone. He smiled and removed my hand from his head. "You must really like my hair."

His hair reminds me of the sun, so full of light and glistening...

"I'm sorry..."

"I don't mind whenever you touch me," he said as he pulled my palm towards his lips and kissed my hand. "I would prefer it if you touched me more often."

I felt embarrassed and retracted my hand.

"...There will be no more of that."

"I think it's fair since you were the one who cutely begged me to hold you until dawn last night..."

I quickly closed off his mouth with my hands.

"I did no such thing..."

He removed my hands and rolled over on top of me.

"Shall I remind you then?" Erik asked with a sly smile as he caresses my thighs.

I pouted at him.

I soon felt the need to touch his face. I held his face in my hand. He was warm.

...Why would he not be?

"You are warm..."

"Of course, I am. Ari is warm too," he said as he lightly brushed my neck. "When I touch you lightly like this, you get very warm..."

"Erik is too perverse..."

"All men are like this before the woman they like...In my case, I love you a lot, so of course my love would be more intense."

It feels like I have not heard him say that in a long time.

"...Erik, are you happy?" I asked him suddenly.

He looked at me oddly and then slightly scrunched his eyebrows.

I felt his knee graze against my inner thigh.

"...Are you checking to see if I am potent? I think you know as well as I do how sturdy I am. Even right now, I am rearing to go."

"I am not talking about that!"

This idiot...

Erik's warm lips fell over my eyes and my lips. He stared at me closely with loving eyes.

"I am very happy...More importantly, are you happy?"

"Yes, I am," I said as I closed my eyes as I prepared myself for another kiss.

"I see...Are you going to let me die a second time then?" Erik asked in a cold tone.

I soon felt warm droplets fall on my face. I opened my eyes and saw Erik bleeding from his eyes and mouth.

Even though he was bleeding, he still had a smile on his face. It was an empty smile since I could not feel any of his kindness at all.

"Erik, you are bleeding!"

"Its your fault..."

"My fault?"

Erik narrowed his eyes at me.

"You forgot about me."

"I never forgot about you," I quickly replied.

Erik grabbed both of my wrists and pressed me to the bed.

"...My Angel...How easily you lie with your pretty little face...I know about it all, about what you are doing. You say that you want to save me, and here you are making happy memories with all these new people. Did I really mean that little to you?"

"No! You mean all the world to me."

"Ever since you came back, you would always be thinking about me..."

"I still do to the point where I go mad!"

"Not as much anymore...What happened to living for me? I died protecting you. Does that count for anything? You selfishly gave up the life I wanted to save and killed yourself off with my unborn child," Erik said cruelly.

Each of his words cut into me like a knife. I felt like dying after each word.

"...I did not want to live in a world without you."

I soon felt a pressure on my neck.

Erik was strangling me.

"You didn't die...Lucky you, Arielle. You were granted a second life and your own mother came back. Now, you are spending it indulging in your own wishes while forgetting about me. I guess you want to abandon me just like our child," Erik said with a cruel facial expression.

"I think about you two everyday...How could I ever be fine without you two?"

"You are now living in a world completely fine without me. Why not tell the truth? You don't love me anymore."

"That is not true..."

"...Did you ever really love me?"

"I *** love you."

I was suddenly surprised by my own words.

"You see...I was right."

My heart felt as if it had shattered when I saw Erik's saddened face.

"No, I did not mean it like that..."

"Why did I have to die for someone like you?"

"I'm..."

"If you are truly feel guilty, you have to think of me every second of the day from now on," Erik said as he whispered in my ear. "If you don't, I will never forgive you..."

"No..."

"Ari is more beautiful when you are surrounded in madness..."

I want to die so badly.

Erik's cold tone only drove me further in to madness...

"Ari...Arielle!"

I felt my body being shaken with great force.

The one before me was the younger Garett.

"Garett?"

A dream?

No, a nightmare...

"Are you alright, Arielle?"

I rubbed my head.

"Was I doing something?"

"You were crying in your sleep...You are still crying..."

"I am crying?" I said as I touched my face. I was still leaking from my eyes. My chest felt painful as if it was going to beat out of my chest. "Why does it not stop?"

Garett pulled me into his embrace and hugged me tightly.

"Whatever you are holding in, you can let it out for now..."

This person is really too kind...

Letting go of my feelings for this moment?

...An evil thought went through my mind.

"...Garett, I will ask you to do something very cruel and I want you to accept it."

"...Fine," he answered.

I took a shaky breath in as I told him the words that sounded like a curse.

"Please let me call you Erik...and please forgive me."

I am well aware that this person is not Erik. He is just someone who looks just like Erik. I am selfishly using him for my own satisfaction in calming myself...

"You are right...That is very cruel thing to ask," he said as he hugged me tightly.

I shakily placed my hands around him and held him tightly.

I uttered the curse and became the cruelest person on earth that day.

I placed myself in my room for three whole days after that. Without eating or sleeping, I just laid there in my bed without doing anything.

It got to the point where they had Charlotte come in from my window.

"Arielle, are you alright?" she asked.

I got up from my bed and saw Charlotte in my room.

"Charlotte...?"

"What is the big idea locking yourself up in your room for?"

I felt like crying again.

"I'm sorry..."

"There, there," she said as she reached to me in a flustered state and threw her arms around me.

I began explaining to her about everything... Who I met, what I went through, how I died, how I got another chance at starting over, and about the cruel things that I did to Garett. Charlotte only kindly listened to me in silence.

"I am sorry for not telling you sooner..."

"It's fine to go at your own pace...It may sound strange coming from someone who is almost a decade younger than you, but I really think that you should do what you think is right. No one will condemn you as much as you think they would," Charlotte said. "I think the older me would say the same thing because she and I both love you so much."

"...What do I do? My heart is in a turmoil?" I asked Charlotte as I held my face in my hands.

"You worry too much by yourself... That is why you had those dreams. The Prince Erik you loved is not the same one that is living now. They may look the same, sound the same, and talk the same, but they are different people. You are different as well. I think it is fine for you to forgive yourself. However, after you do, you need to apologize to that person before moving on," Charlotte said as she hugged me.

Charlotte helped me get me back on my feet.

"Thank you for everything, Charlotte..."

I opened the door to the library and met everyone. I apologized to everyone for worrying them and then I went to find Garett who was sorting out books in the furthest most part of the library. He was standing on a ladder and putting back a book when I called out to him.

"Garett..."

"Ari–"

He got startled from me calling out to him suddenly and fell off the ladder. I had reached out to him, but he still fell anyways. Garett avoided injuries from having books fall, while I had Garett cushion my fall with his chest.

"Are you alright?" I asked Garett as I got off of him.

"I am fine. I was just a bit startled," he said as he rubbed his head. I held out my hand towards him. He took my hand and I helped pull him up. He let go of my hand, but I had not yet released him. "You can let go now..."

I squeezed his hand.

"I am deeply sorry for what I did to you."

"If it is about that, I am not bothered by it..."

"That is a lie... I know about how kind you are. You are the kind of person who would lie to spare my feelings... What I did to you was unforgivable. You are no one but yourself and I know that, but I still want your forgiveness," I said.

Garett covered my hand with his other hand.

"I think I am the one who gets to decide whether to forgive you or not. I am deciding to forgive you. It will leave a bad taste in my mouth if I never do..."

I felt like tearing up again.

"Garett..."

"Ah, don't cry again," Garett said as he released my hand and took out his handkerchief.

I did not want to sully his beautiful handkerchief, so I sucked in my tears.

"I'll do my best not to."

"Come on...Comfort her like a real man," Maura said softly.

Garett and I both looked to the side and saw that everyone was watching us from the side.

"We didn't mean to see," Charlotte said. "We got worried when we heard such a loud sound."

We were both very embarrassed.

I felt like crying again for other reasons.

"Please lend me your handkerchief again," I told Garett as I covered my face with my hands.