My Fiancée Hates Me novel Chapter 115

I requested a meeting with Prince Erik which he also readily agreed with as if he had been waiting for me.

"Your Highness, is there any way that you could stop Garett from being stationed at the border?" I asked Prince Erik during his free time.

"...There are only a few numbers of people whom I can fully trust. For such an important post, only Garett fits the standards I have placed. Furthermore, he requested to go there because he believes that he is capable enough to hold his ground there. At first, I did not like this Garett. He was a bit different from the person I knew but was still the same person at the core. I at the very least have experienced his capabilities firsthand, so I hold a deep trust and admiration of his skills," Prince Erik said.

"...No, it is still unsafe there," I said worriedly.

"The reason it was unsafe there was because there were corrupted officers in our past life. I will give my full support to Garett and make sure that he is safe and sound. He will be going as my proxy and hold a considerable amount of power," Prince Erik said as he grabbed my shoulders.

Even if Garett will be protected, Nevel Pillar will be there. His father's influence will give him a position of power that Prince Erik cannot refute.

"That family is…”

"Arielle, are different now because of your hard work. I have also gained a considerable number of followers now after carefully considering your advice from back then...I was ignorant and always relied on you to take care of my short comings without putting effort towards changing myself," Prince Erik said.

"All of my hard work had been circumstantial and certain events that could easily be avoided. How is sending Garett to a border right next to a hostile country and a land full of danger at every corner considered playing it safe?" I asked.

"...Garett is fully aware of the danger but still wants to go because he wants to protect the person he loves. We both are not as weak as you may think. Have faith in the person you have chosen and me. I promise that I will keep him safe," Prince Erik said.

"Having faith? Promises? Do you know where those all got us? We both met a miserable end and went back to the past with God's whim, but what if this is all our last chance?" I asked as I removed Prince Erik's hands from my shoulders. "I wonder just how many times I had led astray by those words and empty promises like that? You men are so difficult in always trying to protect me at the cost of your lives...You of all people should know how much I hate being protected while remaining ignorant of all the chaos happening around me! I don't want either of you to put yourselves in risk because of me."

"Arielle..."

"I don't want to see either of you die again. I changed because I did not want people to suffer on my behalf," I said as I gripped my hand over my chest.

"Arielle, have you not had enough of suffering yet?" Prince Erik asked.

"Enough? The moment I relax, I am constantly reminded of my mistakes and my regrets of the past. I wish it was that easy to let go. I wish our lives were perfect like a fairytale ending where everyone is happy...Then, I would not have to worry about the consequences that would happen afterwards and just think about more ways to be happy, but I cannot be happy before all of you are happy first. I will never forgive myself if that happens," I said as I slowly backed away and then sprinted out of Prince Erik's office.

Nothing has changed.

People are still getting hurt and putting themselves in danger because they are worried about me. My extreme worries and carefulness had an opposite desired effect on the people I wanted to save. They all wanted to live without worrying about what may possibly happen in the future. It is almost as if I am the only one who cannot let go of anything.

...More than anything, I do not want to return to those days where I was weak and ignorant.

I do not want to experience the loss of losing anyone ever again. My heart will not be able to take it again if that happens.

A few days later, I went to a Blacksmith shop and presented a badge with my family insignia as proof of my identity.

"Here are the jagged arrowheads you requested, Lady Maddox," Blacksmith Arnold said as he showed me my specially ordered arrowheads.

"Thank you very much, Arnold," I said as I inspected the arrowheads.

"May I ask if the Lady intends to hunt for large animals?" Blacksmith Arnold asked.

"Something like that...Is it true that if you pull the arrow back, you can inflict further damage?" I asked.

"With these types of arrows, it is even worse if you decide to pull it back as it tugs tissue along with it and thereby causing an even greater damage," Blacksmith Arnold said.

"...It's perfect," I said as I picked up the arrowhead and examined the weight and sharpness of the arrowheads.

If there is anything I learned from my past life, it is that there will always be weeds growing around this kingdom and that there is no guarantee in life...

If I know anything about weeds, the most important part of killing weeds is nipping them at the roots.