My Most Precious Human novel Chapter 130

My head was spinning. It was getting harder and harder to breathe. I sat down on my bed with the phone stuck to my ear and sank into the restless silence on the other side of the phone.

"Lilith." Sariel exhaled my name, sending a tickling sensation across my body.

"Why… why do you have Martha's phone?" I asked, my voice trembling.

"She gave it to me… She said that you would answer knowing that it's from her," he explained.

At that moment, I was both, mad and grateful for what Martha did. I thought that I would be better off without Sariel, but only after hearing his voice did I realize how badly I missed him. Nonetheless, along with the feeling of longing, heartache struck me hard.

"Why are you calling me?" I squeezed out of my throat. "The bond between us is already broken…"

"Did you seriously believe that it was the blood bond that made me be with you?" he asked softly.

"I think that not even the blood bond prevented you from hurting me," I said, struggling to keep my voice from breaking.

"I know I hurt you… I'm sorry for what I did, but what you saw between me and Elora wasn't real, and you know that…"

"Do I?" I breathed out while swallowing tears. "You brought me to the point where I no longer knew what to believe."

"You should have believed in me… Lilith." His tone was warm and confident, but not convincing enough.

"You gave me no reason to believe you…" I drew my words slowly, "You left me out of your plans and expected me to obey whatever you did… Did you think that I wasn't worthy of your trust?"

"I was afraid, Lilith! I was afraid that someone would attack you if they saw us close! I was afraid of losing you-"

"But you lost me anyway, and you did it yourself," I muttered, my hand rubbing my aching chest.

"Please, don't say that…" His voice softened. "I am the leader of the vampire race. I have the greatest army at my command, but I'm forced to walk on eggshells around the woman I hate… And every time I am getting closer to finding out who supports her, a bloody attack comes. "

I heard him clench his teeth. I heard pain and frustration in his voice, which made me ache for him. I had never thought that there would come a time when I heard him baring himself in front of me and admitting that he had a weakness.

"I… wanted to help you…" I mumbled. "You rejected my help…"

"I didn't want you to get involved and endanger your life… Not when I didn't even know who I was dealing with," he said, with a coaxing tone.

"Are you kidding me?!" I snapped. "From the moment I entered the Palace, I was constantly in danger, and I was already involved in all of this from the second I stood by your side! And yet you left me, and I had to deal with everything alone!"

"I was a fool!" he called out angrily. "Is that what you wanted to hear? I should never have let you go…"

I covered my mouth with my hand, afraid that he would hear me cry. My heart hammered at an insane rate, but I knew I had to silence my emotions. There was no time for that. I put the phone away for a second and took a few deep breaths.

"I'm going to join the war, Sariel," I stated, hoping to sound composed.

"What?!" he snarled, "I did everything I could to keep you safe, but the next thing you do after leaving me is risk your life?! And for who?! For Draven?!"

"I'm not doing this for Draven!" I burst out, and then slowly pushed air into my lungs. "I'm doing this for myself… I want to face the fear that has been crushing me since I was a child… I need to go there."

Sariel went silent. I knew he understood my reasons. I also assumed that he already knew that I had become even stronger than I was before. I heard him taking a sharp gasp.

"Just… stay close to Patrick. Promise me that." His voice was rasped with restlessness.

"I promise I won't do anything stupid," I said softly, wiping away the last of my tears.

I heaved a sigh. Suddenly, I felt good about saying it all out loud. It felt as if someone had taken a weight off my shoulders. I even became a bit calmer, until…

"Kanan brought me all the decrypted notes… I saw your name there…" he said, clenching his teeth.

I sucked in a nervous breath. "Kanan and I were trying to find out who this JD is, but we still have nothing. I thought that it might be someone from my father's pack…"

Sariel sighed and suddenly his voice became cold. "You know that Draven fits perfectly-"

"It's not Draven." I cut him off a bit abruptly.

"How do you know that? Is it because you're his mate?!" he growled, irritated.

"No!" I snapped. "I checked his handwriting, ok?! It's not him!"

Sariel exhaled, soothing his outburst. "I'm sorry… I didn't intend to yell at you...I'm just losing my mind without you, Lilith."

My chest squeezed as if something was crushing me from the inside. His voice could stroke my heart, making it submit to him completely. I knew it could bleed out for him if he wanted me to bleed, but I couldn't let him... Not like before.

"I can't come back to you and the Palace-"

"Have you accepted Draven as your mate?" he asked restlessly.

I swallowed hard. I sensed his anxiety increasing by the second I was leaving him without knowing the answer.

"No…" I replied hesitantly. "I would never make this decision so fast."

"But… you are thinking about it?" His voice was soaked with pain and anger, and its sound vibrated across my heart.

"Sariel…" I muttered, forcefully pushing out my voice. "You have to consider that... we might not be destined to be together…"

The bitterness of those words made me cringe into a ball, but I had to say it out loud, for myself as well.

"Don't say that," Sariel hissed, "You want to sacrifice real emotions for the mate-bond you can't even feel?!"

I clenched my fists. There was no way that I was going to admit that he knew what was going on inside my heart. What right did he have to talk about my feelings?! He did a perfect job of ignoring them before I left him.

"What real emotions?!" I scoffed angrily. "What can you know about my emotions?!"

"I can hear your heart, Lilith," he said calmly.

Certainly, my stupid blood-pomp reacted violently to his words, like a loyal dog hearing his master.

"I know you still love me, Lilith," he spoke confidently, yet his voice betrayed no arrogance. "My feelings for you haven't changed as well."

"Sariel, please-"

"Just give me a chance to make it right… If you wait a little longer, I promise to give you happiness."

I wanted to believe him.

"Please, Lilith…" His pleading voice sounded unfamiliar, yet these were the words I longed to hear, and the warmth that I always needed from him.

"How long…?" I muttered, surrendering slowly.

I could hear his rapid inhale. "Once the Southern Woods Pack is destroyed, I will come for you."

My heart was about to burst out of my chest, but the thought of my brutal reality grounded me before I flew towards cloud number nine…

"What about Elora?" I asked as I took a deep breath.

He sighed and for a second stayed silent. "I can't touch her until I know who collaborates with her. I can't put other people's lives in jeopardy... Especially when I now know that this bastard is interested in you."

"So you will keep pretending that you are in a good relationship?!" I cried out.

"No! This façade is over!" he called out nervously. "I haven't touched her from the moment you left the Palace…" he admitted, hanging his voice to wait for my reaction.

Ironic. I had to leave him to make him understand how much he hurt me…

"Sariel… I need time to think about everything. Even if you come for me when the war ends, I can't promise you that I will choose you over Draven," I stated, feeling the suffocating squeeze in my chest.

"I know…" His deep voice sounded so hurtful, my eyes filled with tears again. "Just don't choose him only because you think he is destined for you… This is all I ask of you."

I claimed, "I'll do what my heart tells me to do."

A soft chuckle left his throat.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I frowned.

"Nothing, sweet Lilith," he said with an audible smile. "Rest well."

His tone printed a dumb grin on my face. "Good night, Sariel," I replied, all flustered.

"Good night, Lilith," he breathed alluringly, "I love you."