Rejected Mate and Following Fate novel Chapter 86

It’s a strange night, to say the least. Long, and almost sleepless, strained with three minds brewing crazily, and not exactly restful. Conversation is quiet, and sparse, as Carmen asked us never to bring up our newfound fact again and it seems none of us know what else to talk about. It all circles back around the two things – the fact I’m pregnant, with twins, and the fact Carmen lost her child that we never knew existed and mentioning either is obviously a sensitive topic. For both of us.

Me, I lay in bewildered and silent shock, staring at the sky, trying to get my chaotic feelings under control and absorb the reality of this, while Meadow keeps watch. She’s alert, on guard and sits staring out into the darkness, spinning to every new sound and can’t seem to switch off at all. In Colton’s absence she’s become my ever-attentive protector and it soothes me a little, while my heart still yearns for him to come to me and hug me tight.

What I wouldn’t give for him to be laid beside me now. His face close to mine, his nose touching, his breath warming my lips. His strong arms around me, keeping me warm and safe, like he always does. His gentle yet seductive tone and that accent that makes me weak at the knees for him. I miss him more than I can bear, and every second that passes that we’re still apart, I feel like I’m dwindling and crumbling to dust. My heart is broken with the loss of him and my soul is fighting so hard to find the hope, the remedy and to bring him home, yet I’m already so exhausted. I need him so much, more so since the witch told me that I’m carrying our children and I can’t turn if I don’t wish to harm them.

My head’s a mess and I wonder how long they’ve existed in my belly, while I was careless and patrolled with the sentinels. While I used my gifts, selfishly turned at will, and paraded around with no hint of danger of the inner workings of my body. How long have I been tired, and hungry, and oblivious to my own body telling me to slow down and rest, because of these two little lives glowing brightly in the depths of my soul. It makes me sick to my stomach that without even knowing of their presence, I could have ended them with my complete ignorance, and guilt claws at me, cutting deep and slicing my heart to shreds.

Sierra was right, even if she didn’t mean it in that way – I do have a little witch in me. In fact, I have two. Somewhere in my heart it makes me warm, and happy, swearing to protective them at all costs, but the troubles, the worry, and the vulnerability it gives me now, claws up like a dreaded threat and chokes me into uneasy fear. I just lost my edge in this war, my upper hand. If I can’t turn, I can’t heal, so I have to make sure nothing happens to me that requires that. I can’t use my wolf gifts, become strong, and huge. I can’t battle as a human, but at least I still have my vampire traits to fall back on, although my energy is weaker, and at least now I know why.

We all stay this way, trapped in our own heads, dozing occasionally when our bodies give up the fight; catching minutes or more of fretful slumber but then awaken at the uncomfy, and unfamiliar surroundings, with a start. We’re awake at odd times, sometimes together, mostly not, and nothing can really pull us out of it. This weird semi sleep, overly nervy mood we seem to be sharing. It’s a surreal night, being somewhere strange, noises out in the dark that we have never heard back home, but like Leyanne said, nothing comes close or even ventures at the perimeter, so we feel relatively safe even with her gone. Her magic is powerful, and after she left, Meadow found symbols and etchings in a full circle outside on the derelict walls, much like the truck, so she at least didn’t lie about our safety in this ruin. I guess in that she earned one point towards trust.

The early rise of sun doesn’t wake us as we’re already up, boiling water, making coffee that she left behind in that trunk full of things we assume she carries with her. It’s weird. She has no transport around, yet this thing is huge, and weighs a ton and seems to carry everything she needs to travel. It’s full to the brim of clothes, books, dried foods, potion bottles and an array of personal belongings that she has just entrusted to be left with us, with no care about us opening it to get the supplies she mentioned. We made sure not to touch the grimoires that were stacked in one corner, Sierra’s voice coming to mind about never touching one without a witching handing it to you.

We were careful to not pry too much, only access the coffee and sweeteners, ignoring her belongings as best we could and we kept the campsite clean. We are aware that crows still watch us as only a few left with her, and who knows, this magical bitch might have cursed her stuff so if we did pry we would suffer for it. There’s no telling what someone like her would do.

“Who do you think she’s bringing back with her?” Meadow cuts into my thoughts, pulling me out of the endless stirring of coffee I have been doing, while daydreaming about nothing and everything all at once. I shrug, frowning with a deflated exhale and shake my head.

“Honestly, with her, it could be anyone. She’s vague as hell and I’m not convinced she’s sane. I still don’t know if we should trust her or not.”

“Oh, she’s sane. She’s just a little all-knowing and smug for my liking. I don’t trust her as far as I could thorw her while in human form.” Carmen interjects, her face worn and drawn with dark circles under her eyes, telltale signs she didn’t sleep at all, and she moves to rummage a small cooler beside the chest for fresh food and finds nothing. We’re all tired, bellies rumbling from hunger and fed up waiting here.

“One of us should go back to the truck for breakfast supplies. I need bacon, lots and lots of bacon.” Meadow grunts out, never cheerful in the morning without her food, and in the same breath seems to offer to be the one to do it but I shake my head.

“I’ll go, I need the walk and the headspace. This whole thing is like a dream and I have no grasp on reality. “I make a move to get up, from my butt numbing wooden perch but flinch at the reaction.

“No!” both of them snap it in unison, instantly hostile and on their feet, as though ready to take me down while I blink at them in surprise.

“Luna, you should stay safe, here!” Meadow grinds out harshly, furrowing her brow at me, that no nonsense bossy femme on show and motions me to sit down with a jerked thumb.

“And the babies! You’re going nowhere.” Carmen adds on, brazen with her cold, overly protective tone, then blushes as she realizes the words that came from her mouth sounded almost tender as she turns away to hide her own reaction. Her face flushing red and she makes herself busy with tidying up our camp.

“I can’t even process…… I don’t feel any different. Maybe she’s wrong and I’m not. Surely I would know right?” I query but Meadow narrows her gaze on me, all doubt missing in her know it all expression.

“At the house, Sierra said… ‘are you sure you’re not a little witch’, because of how the book responded to you. Maybe she was right, and it’s not you, but there’s witch inside of you growing now and it’s only logical the book responded to them.”

We both fall quiet and all eyes stray to my belly from three angles, a pause as it sinks in that Sierra did say that. I even went over it myself through the night and came to the exact same conclusion, and I know for certain my DNA holds no witch. It has to come from Colton. And there’s only one way it could. You can’t transfer it any other way.

Myths about vampire bites and Lychan scratches turning humans so easily, are folk lore, and it’s almost impossible to turn a human to wolf. I doubt you can pass on witch DNA without a baby, and I know even the vampires have a whole process involved in turning a human to be like them. It’s not just a bite, and boom, vampire. Wolves are born, not made, yes even vampires are sometimes born, I assume witches too.

“I’m pregnant.” I breathe out, saying to aloud to myself, to set it in there and push the doubt and disbelief away. I instinctively cover my abdomen with a protective flat hand, shuddering inside as I swallow those words and reconfirm my brain that this is not a dream. “Oh my god. I am so not ready for this.” I blanche and shiver with the sudden wave of cold fear that courses through my body.

“Are we ever?” Meadow smiles, leaning in and rubbing my belly with affection, eyes softening, and then grimaces and casts a glance Carmen’s way, almost guiltily. I feel Meadows sudden drop in mood, the instant regret at being so careless and hurtful and I’m at least glad to see Meadow has found an ounce of her compassion again. Carmen turns to walk away and seems to be trying to look busy, keeping her eyes averted and her face straight while giving no hint of her emotions away. I can’t ignore them coming from her though, and how overwhelming they are in this moment, in small confines. The pangs of heartbreak and loneliness, the bitter despair. I pat Meadow’s hand and give her an understanding look, nodding softly towards Carmen with a downcast flicker of my eyebrows.

Maybe it’s time I go a little easier on her, huh? I mean, she’s been through enough. Meadow mind links me privately, hitting the nail on the head and I nod. I have nothing else I can add, but an understanding of her loss makes me view things a little differently in the new light of day. Carmen is complex and it seems that one thing after another comes up about this girl which makes me dislike her less and less. She should be curled up in a dark corner, crying her angst out, but she’s not. She’s a fighter, a warrior and she’s probably holding on with everything in her to stop her from crumbling the way her mom did.

They say femmes change when motherhood hits and maybe that’s true. Maybe she didn’t need to carry on to birth for the changes to take effect, because she became a mother the second that life existed. Just like maybe I’m softer, more compassionate and stronger in my need to care for my people of late, maybe that’s because I too have been touched by the maternal bond.

I can’t imagine what Carmen feels or what the lack of that life has done to her since. The hollowness of its absence. Especially knowing she had to save herself and sacrifice her child in the process, all at Juan’s hands. It seems we all have our own personal reasons to hate that man’s existence after all.

“Good, good, you’re up.”

All three of us jump about a mile high when the voice invades from the far right, startling us into standing and poised aggression and none of us even sensed her. It’s weird, but even with our sense of smell, our hearing and instincts, our awareness; none of us picked her up last night, or this morning. She’s like a freaking ghost. Just swans in undetected and scare sus shitless with that sudden voice which comes at you like a flying dagger. We stand and pull together in front of the now glowing low embers of the fire, rattled, hearts elevated in beat and look around expectantly for her ‘guest’ with high suspicion, but she appears to be alone.

“Aren’t you missing someone?” I point out, eyeing up the fact she’s still in the same clothes as last night but despite hiking through dirt and forest, she’s immaculately clean and no sign of fatigue on her at all if she was up all night. I wonder if Meadow is right and witches can wear some sort of outer mask to conceal the real them. She’s too neat to have been out all-night walking around in this horrid landscape and damp hair.

“No. He’s here. Waiting by the road…. Where we’re going now. So, chop, chop, ma wee darlings. Did you eat?” she asks in that merry brogue of hers, and noses around looking for evidence of food which causes her to frown when she sees nothing.

“We were about to go get our supplies and you showed up.” Meadow responds drily, still an edge to her voice, and Leyanne nods with a slight shrug of one shoulder.

“Guess you can eat on the journey. We have to go, he doesn’t like waiting. So come along, pets. No time like the present.” She gestures behind us to the path we came last night, and Carmen is the first to get up and move. Glad to finally be leaving this place.

“I for one will be happy to get back in that truck and out of here.” She adds in passing and I catch up behind her to resume our single file trail, finding security in being between my two femmes, especially now I know what I carry. Leyanne moves to walk behind us as the birds hitch up and follow, flocking in form god knows where and it seems like the sky is suddenly full of caws and cries and the battering of wings.

“I don’t know, it has it’s positives. Quaint, peaceful, no humans for another few miles in any direction. Seems perfect to me. No one nosing in or getting in your way.” Leyanne smiles cheerily, being strangely upbeat and annoyingly merry, as if we’re all just out for a summer walk, at dawn, in the ugliest of landscapes. This witch is too weird for this time of the day and I hook Meadow’s hand in mine to feel more secure now that we’re moving and instinctively, I reach out, catching Carmen’s from behind, sliding my fingers into hers. She stiffens at the contact, hesitantly glancing back at me before returning the grip without argument and loosely holding onto my hand. I can feel her awkwardness, her uncertainty, the alien feel of another femme wolf having this kind of contact and I’m sad for her that between her own pack sisters, touch is not familiar. It makes me wonder if it ever was. Has she always been so alone?

“You said turning was a no for me, right?” I turn back and glance at Leyanne, dismissing Carmen’s posture, asking a question I have been going over all night with it sitting in my brain, and I have to clarify a few things. I’ve turned recently, and yet I am still pregnant, even though she said it had to do with the age of the babies.

“Right. Many hybrids were lost with just one turn. The perfection of your DNA is also your biggest flaw when it comes to species breeding. As soon as your body identifies it as something that’s drawing from your health, it fixes it.” I guess in the earliest days they are so tiny and unformed that my wolf gifts ignore the presence until they start to make you sick. I know that pure wolf pups somehow have the ability to withstand turning and I guess the impurity of a mixed child, is its other species is the one who can’t stand up to it.

“Right, ummm…. my gifts, my abilities. In human form I can use them still though, right? They won’t hurt them?” I ask tightly, raising my brow as worry wriggles into my brain; needing boundaries and guidelines to keep them safe, and I wonder how many times I have carelessly used them these past weeks while I didn’t know. How close have I been to losing them before they were given a chance at life.

“Yes, fine, although…. some report that abilities and such may be weaker and get worse as thing progress. Your body focuses on the new life and stupidly leaves you more vulnerable. I think its nature’s way of ensuring the weaker hybrids don’t get out of the womb. So many obstacles to ensure failure. Only the strongest make it so I’m not at all shocked that Sierra gave birth to the future Santo Alpha.”

“You’re saying she might lose them; even if she doesn’t turn?” Meadow spins her head on Leyanne, homing in on the details and ignoring he rother words, much like I do and gets an infuriating shrug in return. We both blanche at her and my brain goes into chaotic overdrive as nerves flood me and make me feel instantly sick.

“Not if she’s careful. Limits her need to protect herself. Relies on her pack to shield her, her mate if he wasn’t cursed. Sierra got through, I’m sure you will too. Colton was a strong baby, and I don’t doubt his offspring will be the same. I mean look at you, your mother didn’t have half of your ability and she still carried you to term. Be calm, Luna, have faith in your fates.” Leyanne yanks a passing branch, snapping off a twig to use to swipe at long grass as we walk, and she seems so utterly casual and relaxed. Like she isn’t telling me the possibility I may still lose my children.

“You knew my mother?” I’m distracted by her words, head pulling away from the topic at hand for my own sanity, and like always, thirsting for more of what I lost in my past. Anything I can ever learn about my mother from before, it’s like a drug for me, always needing more of it as the memories of her fade with time. So few beyond our pack knew of her, and so little of the remaining ones can even recall her at all. A lot of the valley forgot the Whyte pack as it was completely wiped out.

“Not personally, but I know of her. Was quite shocked to piece you and her together last night. But then, I shouldn’t be, they always lead me to people for reasons. And nothing is ever coincidence.”

“You mean the fates?” Carmen queries with a suspicious eyebrow rise and a glance back at her, and I’m wondering the same thing. I thought witches had gods, or some other belief, something like a moon goddess, given Leyanne seems to have at least three pendants on with moon stones and symbols of phases of the moon.

“I mean the higher power. You call them fates; some call them gods… I call them guides. Voices in the wind, nudges in your gut, itching palms and footsteps that lead you other ways. They send me where I need to go and sometimes it pays off. I’m in the right place at the right time and it all comes together. Like now.” She looks at me for a long second, a smirk nudging her mouth as though she’s gazing with meaning and I break eye contact, feeling uncomfy.

“That’s what you meant last night. Why ever you were here, it links to us somehow?” I wish she would just open up and speak, stop these dumb riddles and sassy little expressions. Tell us, but I get the feeling she isn’t going to. She plays everything close to her chest and gets a kick out of watching us try to pull the pieces together.

“It does. And soon, you will know how. Now speed up a little, I want to get there before he has to go back. He’s a busy man and not famed for patience…. None of them ever are.” She swipes at Meadow’s butt with her branch in an attempt to slap her onwards and gets a snarl and an amber glow under ferocious brows aimed her way. It doesn’t phase her in the slightest and she just lifts her hands and makes a little ‘forward’ motion with her fingertips while smiling like the Cheshire cat. I think meadow is close to eating her as she growls under her breath and jilts me into a faster walk with a harsh nudge.

“Who is HE exactly?” Meadow is impatient and fiery in nature and I can tell this way of communication, and the smart-ass facial expressions, are annoying her.

“Someone you’re going to hate on sight, but trust me, you’re not going to act on it, not if you want to live. I’ll make sure of it. I can assure you though, he comes with no intention of harm. You just have to trust the witch, I guess.” That low and smug tone, the brows smoothing out to an almost catlike look that reminds me of Hollywood villains and I swallow hard.

The three of us throw glances at one another, more questions coming with her so-called answers and a feeling of dread rises between us.

“Why do I get the feeling we’re not going to like this.” Carmen butts in.

“Because you’re not. But needs must and this whole thing, is bigger than just you three. Now hush, more walk, less talk. I need some headspace to figure some things out, seeing as I did not sleep one wink last night. Ma head’s weary. Now shhhhh… get going.” Leyanne gestures for us to move, rather bossily, a lot of harsh hand waving and a finger to her lips to silence our chatter. We don’t like it, but we fall obediently back in line and quicken our steps retracing our path from last night effortlessly as we can pick up our own scent to follow back. A sense of lighter relief that we are going back to our familiar truck and will be turning around and heading home very soon.

It doesn’t take long to see the truck in sight ahead, in the clearing where we abandoned its poor self. With a few more feet to cross, we come out at it where we left it last night and Meadow unlocks it before jumping in to reverse out of the ditch, we almost got it stuck in. With less weight aboard she maneuvers it easily and pulls it back up to sit on the road that brought us here.

“Not you.” Leyanne catches my upper arm quickly as Carmen rounds the truck to get in and I was about to follow. Flinching in startled surprise and turning to eye her up and meeting a deadpan look that gives me no clue as to the why. “You’re with me for now.” She gestures back along the main route to our left and its only then I spot a large foreboding pair of four by fours, both black with tinted out windows, parked about a hundred yards further along the road. They give me a weird vibe and an internal shiver runs through the length of my body.

“Um I don’t think so, she say with us.” Meadow leans out of her now open window and throws Leyanne a challenging glare which only gets an amused smirk. She makes a move as if to say she will get back out of the truck and physically take me.

“If I wanted to harm any of you, you would never have made it out of this truck last night. Don’t underestimate me. Be a good wee doggy, sit tight, shut up, and do as you’re told. Don’t make me get the muzzle.” Her words are almost icy and cold in deliverance, despite that catty sarcasm, and I throw Meadow a look that’s meant to calm her worry rather than escalate this into a fight that I know will happen.

“I’ll be fine, just stay close. If I need you, I’ll link. I still have abilities, you know.” And I know that metal is no match for a piercing wolves’ claws should they need to physically rip through the cars sitting yonder. Meadow would plough through a vehicle to get to me if I needed her, in the blink of an eye. We are strong and vicious, and Meadow is one of our worst. I have to nothing to fear, even if my own powers may be weakening as we speak. I still have enough to hold my own and get myself out of anything that might happen over there.

Meadow tenses and Carmen glares at Leyanne from her seat as she too settles herself in and locks her eyes on the two of us. She may not be someone who ever liked me but I’m a wolf, from her pack, her Luna, and our protective instinct for one another against another species is built in, whether we want it or not. She is giving me some serious vibes that Meds wouldn’t be the only one tearing open a metal box to free me.

“Relax puppies, I’m only taking her for a short walk. She’ll be back before you even miss her. Go chew on something.” Leyanne tugs my arm with a rather bossy pull and gestures towards the vehicles ahead, but as soon as we start moving towards them, they fire up their engines and head our way. As though they have been observing and waiting for the signal of us moving their way. My heart begins to hammer like a drum, my gut telling me I should be on alert and my body becomes instantly clammy.

They’re American luxury cars, but filthy, as though they have been driving through terrain like this for hours on end and not accustomed to it at all. As they approach at speed, they stop right in front of us, kicking up dust, mere feet from our truck so that Meadow doesn’t have to go anywhere at all. Close enough to see what’s happening right where we are and it settles some of my nerves, giving me a sense of protection that she won’t be far, neither of them will.

The first car door is opened by a driver jumping out quickly, dressed completely in dark clothes with gloves and a hood pulled firmly over his head so you get zero sense of what he looks like at all. I freeze in paled faced horror as his scent wafts this way at my approach and I almost choke on the sheer strength of its familiarity.

“What the fuck?” I gasp in shock and recoil against Leyanne’s hold as it computes through my head why I know that smell so well and what exactly he is. My inner alarm bells going off and I start to pull away, fear enveloping me and knowing we were right to doubt this witch.

“I said you wouldn’t like it, but you came to me for help, and that’s what I’m doing. So get in the car and don’t make a scene. I’m not in the mood for forcing pregnant wolves to heel.” She commands in a biting hiss, but I throw a hesitant look back at Meadow, crying visually for her, and she catches my fear and despair, her eyes glowing instantly as she rips herself out of the driver seat in an instant. Doors kicked open as both make way to save me.

“No. Don’t interfere!” Leyanne snaps, turns almost as quickly and with a raised hand slamming an invisible power their way, she seems to hold Meadow and then Carmen absolutely still and powerless with very little effort. They struggle facially but it’s like their bodies are bound and tied, lifted a foot from the ground, and all they can do is shake and growl as eyes turn amber and teeth elongate. She even seems to inhibit their ability to turn at all and the snarls turn to whimpers as she gives them a warning squeeze.

A gift so like mine, only I can feel it coming from her in powerful waves, crackling the air and turning the sky dark over my head. It tells me she has ten times what I inherited in terms of power, and she’s terrifyingly capable at using it. She’s barely trying, and both my femmes are held still before she tucks them back in the truck, pushes them to sit where they were and slams the doors. With only a slight move of graceful fingers and a deadlock glare aimed their way, she seals them tight with magic, so that Meadow and Carmen start to fight to try and get out, pulling out claws to cut their way out but it’s futile. She has each in some sort of bubble that makes it impossible for them to do anything much at all. Their claws can’t get through it, the invisible shield, and they’re trapped where they are.

I glare back at her, my heart hitching, my own eyes turning red as fury rushes through my body as she drops her hand and leaves them that way, I pull myself upright. Rounding at her and not concealing my anger and mistrust when she’s brought me to the feet of the enemy and bound my protection.

“You said I should never trust anyone, even you. Was that a forewarning that you were going to stab me in the back as soon as you felt like it?” I point out and back away slowly, cautious and on full alert, claws growing despite my brain telling me to not turn, as she straightens her cloak and reaches for me, but she only smiles and shrugs.

“And you shouldn’t, but darling, as I already pointed out, if I wanted to harm you, I would have done it already. I’m not the type to let vampires do my dirty work when it can be so much fun to do it yourself. He’s not a threat… none of them are, and you need to get in that car and learn something new today. If you want my help with your mate and your little fog problem, I need yours. This is why I was here …. survival of all species sometime means wars shouldn’t continue. I had a task, it’s in that car waiting for my answer… and you’re it. So, if you please?” She gestures towards them, but I step another foot back away from her, bristling and poised in pounce mode.

“What are you talking about? So many fucking riddles with you! You’re trying to end the vampire war, or is that another lie?” I glare at her, stiff and ready to fight but my stupid fuzzy head is still asking her for answers I shouldn’t trust. Leyanne seems completely relaxed, maybe a tad irritated but she patiently stands, then shrugs.

“Not directly and when did I lie, ma wee pet? I try to never pick a side or get involved, but sometimes I need to. One species is as important as another and if the balance is destroyed it affects all of us. It’s been decades of unrest and frankly, I’m tired of it. I’ve not got time to stand here and deal with a tantrum so move or I’ll carry you too.” She reaches out, catches my arm, yanking me towards her and shoves me a little more aggressively in the direction she wants. I stumble forward towards the open door, distracted by her aggressive behavior and the seemingly patient driver who motionlessly stares at the ground as he comes back into view. I bristle as I approach, my inner wolf aching to be freed when surrounded by the stench of his kind, my senses telling me to turn and run, but I hold it in. Thinking of my babies, knowing she will do to me what she did to my femmes and cursing that now of all times I would put myself in this situation without the ability to turn or hold my own against her.

If they hurt me, I can’t heal, and I don’t know if I truly believe this witch. She told us to not trust anyone and now I wish I listened to her own damn words!