SAGE novel Chapter 47

Sage Miller

We passed Styles in the living room. He gave me a look that said I'll have to tell him too.

I was planning to anyway. After all, I will need his help. A lot.

Eve led me to Styles's room. She opened the door and let me in. I closed the door behind me and when I turned around, Eve was sitting on the bed.

I didn't know where and how to start telling. This is just so huge and it's dragged on for almost a year now.

I paced up and down still struggling on how to even start explaining to her.

"Sage, I'm dying with worry over here." I heard Eve say.

I stopped pacing and lifted my head to look at her. I opened my mouth and closed it like a fish.

I started pacing in the room again. I ran a hand through my face then through my hair.

"Are you in some kind of trouble?" I heard her ask. "You can tell me."

She coaxed me into talking. It helped though.

"Just say it, Sage. Just get this over and done with." I murmured words of encouragement to myself over and over again.

My heart was now on my throat beating so fast. I couldn't look at her in the face.

"Sage you have to tell me." She stood up and walked towards me. She grabbed my shoulders to stop my pacing.

I could feel how pale my face was. I was tense and shaking furiously.

This felt more like a bad idea with each second that passed.

Maybe I shouldn't tell her. I thought. But that would mean more trouble for me.

I lied to the cops. She has to lie too which means telling her the truth.

"I'm scared Eve." I finally admitted. I let go and my shoulders fell because I felt defeated.

I had planned to take this secret to the grave.

Eve quickly wrapped her arms around me and hugged me.

I just felt like sobbing on her shoulder. So much has happened in just one day and even more has happened in the past week.

I just felt defeated. I felt powerless.

"We will fix it. Whatever it is Sage. We will get through it. Remember that it's us against the world. No matter what." She reminded me of the promise we made when dad died. "No matter how bad it is. You just have to tell me and we'll figure it out."

She made it sound so easy.

"It's not easy Eve. I'm sorting out the information inside my head and everything is just so messed up. I don't know what to leave out and what to tell you. I'm just." He paused and took a deep breath. "I'm tired of all the secrets."

Eve is the only person that still sees me as innocent, pure, and a hero. I'm a hero only in her eyes and I don't wanna ruin that.

I don't want her to see me other than what she always saw me. Pure.

Eve's body slowly tensed.

I just know that I don't want that secret to destroy us. I don't want this to destroy our bond.

It's the only true thing I have right now. I don't know about Connor and Sebastian but Eve is the only thing I have that's not tainted.

The only relationship I haven't ruined.

"It's okay Sage. We'll figure it out. Please tell me." She sounded so desperate that it pained me to hear her like that.

"I don't know where to start. There's a lot to say and I'm not sure if I should tell you all of it." I truthfully told her. "I just don't want you to look at me differently."

I knew that if I told her she'll never look at me the same. No one will.

Harry did. A voice said at the back of my head. But that wasn't the same. He's just like me, a murderer.

And that's not the truth, he did see me differently. Except that it was the opposite of fear or disgust.

Before that day, he didn't respect me.

"Oh Sage, I could never look at you a different way. I could never see you in any other way other than my brother who I love unconditionally. There's no way I could do that. It's not in my blood." She tried to assure me but I knew otherwise. She then hugged me again. "You can tell me anything without the fear of being judged."

"I don't know where to start Eve. It's just so much." I told her.

She pulled away then pulled me down to sit on the bed.

"You can start from the beginning." She assures me and held both my hands. "I don't like seeing you like this."

I kissed the back of her hands because she's just so kind and loving.

"I don't like being like this," I told her and focused on her hands... "About an hour ago, cops came to the house."

I paused and waited for her to say something or ask something but she didn't say anything.

"They told me someone reported Clara missing and they questioned me about the last time I saw her. I told them when." My heart was back in my throat again.

My heart was thundering so loud in my chest.

I tried not to think back to the last time I saw her. I lifted my head and looked at Eve and realized that she was trying not to think about it too.

She suffered the most at the hands of Clara. Though I tried to help every time, she still did suffer.

I tried so hard not to think about Clara. I still try not to think about the nightmares I still have.

"They said they'd have to question you and I'm afraid our story won't line up as it should," I said and brushed her hands with my thumbs.

I avoided her eyes. I was dragging her down with my web of lies and I was ashamed of myself for that.

"What do you mean?" She asked softly.

"I told them the last time we saw wasn't the last time we saw her," I told her being purposely vague. "I lied."

"Why did you lie to the police?" She asked confused.

I felt even more defeated than I was two seconds ago.

"I just... I just need you to tell them that you last saw Clara on her birthday last year. That's all I need." I said pleading with her.

I changed my mind. I won't tell her anything. There's no need for her to know all the horrible things I've done.

I was pleading to whoever is devine that she didn't ask more questions because if she did and I answered them, we would be at a point of no return.

"I can't lie to the police okay. What if they find out? What then? We'll get in trouble Sage." She scolded me.

"They'll never find out Eve." He stood up and turned his back on me. "Not if we tell them the same thing. That's all."

She stood up and grabbed my arm but I couldn't look at her. I didn't t turn around.

"What's going on Sage?" She asked but I wasn't willing to say anymore. "No more secrets remember?"

She reminded me of a promise I made no too long ago. A ran a hand through my hair.

"I know but it isn't that simple to tell you," I told her.

"Why is it so hard?" It 2as clear to me that she was getting frustrated.

"Because I don't know what's worse, telling you or keeping this secret." I sank to the floor.

I just looked down on the floor in shame of every action I've done. I know I would do it again in a heartbeat but it doesn't make me proud.

I have blood on my hands and not just anyone's blood, I have my own mother's blood in my hands. My flesh and blood.

"Ryan Dalton is investigating the case." I let it rip. "Clara's old boyfriend."

No one dared to move or say anything. I didn't raise my head so I couldn't see her reaction.

I stared at the cold floor and let her process the information.

"He wants to put me into foster care until they find Clara," I whispered weakly.

The silence was making me nervous.

"But they won't find her," I added.

She slowly came down. First I saw her knees as they met the floor then her hands when they touched my knees.

"What? Why won't they find her?" She asked genuinely curious. I could hear it in her voice.

It took me some time to think of the words to say but only three words made it to my mouth.

"Because she's dead." I finally replied.

I waited for her reaction. It was delayed. I could hear the wheels in her head spinning.

"What... how... What happened?" She asked very confusedly. "Then tell the police that and we can sort out the foster care stuff. Wren will sign your custody and everything will be fine."

She made all this sound so easy and for three seconds I let myself believe that it was that easy.

That I could tell the police and everything would be resolved and I could put this nightmare behind me.

The first second I thought, I tell them she's dead. The second one, Wren gets custody of me. The third, they find out I killed her and I'm arrested.

So it's not that easy.

"I can't tell them that," I told her.

"Why can't you? It will make things easier." She argued. "Just tell them."

"I can't Eve. That's something I can't tell them. " I argued back.

"Why Sage? Make me understand." She frowned.

"Because Eve, because I killed her." The room went dead silent and I held my breath not sure how she'll react. "I killed her okay. Why do you think you haven't seen her ever since? Because I killed her."

In her eyes, I could see she didn't believe me. It was both good and bad. She was confused.

"What?" She whispered still not believing me

"I hated her okay. I hated her so much and that night I pushed her too hard and she hit her head but she was barely alive and I couldn't call the ambulance then I'll have to explain what happened then she started talking trash about you and killing you. I couldn't let her and I wasn't thinking straight. I was blinded with rage and I just wrapped my head around her throat and everything happened so fast and she wasn't thrashing anymore and she wasn't breathing."

I tried justifying myself to her. I need her on my side. No matter what.

"No, you didn't. I don't believe you. You didn't do anything like that. You wouldn't." She denied it. "You are not a killer."

It made my heart swell that she didn't think of me as a monster or if I'm calls of murder. And no matter how much I wish I wasn't a killer it would never happen. I am a killer.

"But I am," I told her and looked away.

"I don't believe you. Who put you up to this?" She shouted. "Did Ryan make you tell me this? That man is sick he would do anything to get to me."

I wished that was the case. For her sake, I wanted it to be the case. To blame this whole thing on Ryan. It would be so easy.

But she needed the truth. I needed to tell her the truth. I needed her to know.

"What do they have on you? What are they blackmailing you with?" She asked and started pacing. "We can sort it out. I have a ton of money from my modeling gig and the money aunt Lauren left us. We can pay-"

"Eve," I yelled her name and she immediately stopped pacing and looked at me with hopeful eyes. "No one is blackmailing me. It's the truth."

I wanted to give her hope but I couldn't. There was no hope, not for me anyway.

She started taking steps backward. My fears were coming to life. Everything I've feared for the past year was now real.

Her face showed terror and fear. Fear of me. She was afraid of me.

I stopped taking steps towards her. It felt like someone punched me in the gut.

"You're afraid of me," I stated the obvious. "I told you you'd look at me differently."

I reminded her.

"No, no, no. I'm not afraid of you because you're not a murderer Sage." She was trying to convince herself but I could see that she didn't believe it.

I am a murderer.

She leaned against the wall for support. I was afraid of going near her in case she fainted.

"But I am Eve. I killed Clara and didn't even feel guilty. I am a murderer Eve." I yelled without meaning to and Eve flinched.

She realized what she did and tried to act like she didn't but I had already seen it.

Styles walked in. I was surprised it took him this long to come in.

"You've been-" He didn't finish the sentence.

He sensed the tension in the room. His eyes traveled between Eve and me. My eyes followed his.

His whole body tensed and his eyes got darker. Eve was pressed against the wall looking terrified and I looked guilty.

"What the fuck is going on here?" He yelled.

He looked at me but I didn't say anything nor did Eve.

"I asked a fucking question." He took a few steps and stood between Eve and me. I took a few steps back. "What the fuck is going here?"

At that moment he had his eyes locked at me like he was about to murder me.

He had the same look when he killed Chris back in July.

"Sage.." He whipped his head to Eve. "Sage said he killed Clara."

I just held my breath. Harry slowly turned his head back to me then back to Eve.

"You knew." Eve connected the dots very quickly.

She looked like she was in denial. She shook her head confused. She mumbled some words I couldn't make out and frowned.

"Eve-" Styles started but she didn't let him finish.

"No. Don't Eve me. Sage is not a murderer. Sage is my sweet brother who is pure. Not a killer." Her breathing was becoming shallow with each word.

"You-" She pointed a finger at Styles and tried to take a step forward but she stumbled.

Both Styles and I tried to rush off to her but her head hit the floor before we made it to her.

My heartfelt like it would jump right out of my chest.

"Eve, Eve," I called her name over and over again.

I tried touching her but Styles swatted my hands away from her.

"Don't fucking touch her. This is your fucking fault." She picked her up from the cold floor.

"I'm sorry." I apologized. I didn't think it would end up like this.

Styles kept cussing me and called the doctor. I waited in the living room as the doctor examined Eve.

I've never prayed a day in my life but I felt like getting on my knees and beg someone for her to be okay. I need her to be fine.

I paced up and down in the living room waiting for either the doctor or Styles to come out.

Minutes later Styles came out. I stopped pacing and held my breath waiting for his next move.

He stood on the other side of the room deciding what to say and I expected nothing but wrath from him because he forbade me from telling anyone.

"You're so fucking stupid. What the fuck were you thinking?" He pushed a vase that was near him.

The vase shattered into pieces. Some pieces made it's way to me.

He looked down at the shattered vase then looked at me again. I looked at the pieces and felt like that was a threat.

"I'll tell what you were thinking. Nothing that's what. You weren't fucking thinking." I crouched down and began picking up the bigger pieces of the vase.

"You don't get it. I had to tell her at some points. I couldn't keep the secret any longer." I told him.

I just couldn't keep quiet any longer. A lot is at stake here.

He got up and threw the pieces of the vase in his hands down so hard they shattered to a point of unrecognizable.

"I don't fucking get it? I don't have to get it. Did you see how she was looking at you? Did you even stop for a minute to think what telling her would do to her? No, no you fucking didn't. You are fucking stupid Sage. What were you gonna tell her next huh? That you're in a fucking gang and I'm the leader." He yelled pointing the index finger at me.

He was breathing hard and he was very pissed off. I took steps back as he slowly came for me.

But he then stopped and pushed his hair off his face. Something he does when he's pissed off.

"I could fucking strangle you right now." He pointed. "You shouldn't have fucking told her."

"I didn't have a choice Styles," I yelled at him. "That's what you don't get."

Not everyone has the luxury of a choice. I couldn't live with my choices and I couldn't die before I told her.

"What the fuck do you mean?" He shouted and threw his hands around.

"Not everything is about you Styles. Some things are bigger and more important than you." I took a step towards him.

"Nothing is bigger than me or should be. So I suggest you tell me what's going on right now before I forget your Eve's brother." He warned me but at that point, I wasn't much afraid.

If I told him it was because I wanted to and needed his help with Ryan and not because I'm afraid.

"A damn cop knocked on my door and a chain of really horrible events are about to unfold. K-"

I saw the doctor lurking at the door and stopped.

Styles turned around and saw him too. He realized that he was caught red-handed, he cleared his throat and walked in.

"She's going to be fine. It's a minor concussion. I left some Advil for her headache." He explained. "She just needs some bed rest for a day or two."

I released the breath I've been holding since Eve fainted. I walked to them and stood next to Styles.

"Thank you." I thanked the doctor and shook his hand.

"It is a pleasure." He replied and looked at Styles.

"I've already transferred your fees." Styles told him. "I'm gonna check on Eve. "

"And you-" he pointed at me. "We're not done. Don't dare leave."

I wasn't planning to. I still need to see Eve and I need to know if she doesn't wanna see me again or not.

I saw down and buried my face in my hands. I felt so defeated. I felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.

I took some time to reflect on myself. I wouldn't blame her if she never wanted to see me again.

She has suffered so much at my family's hands. First my mother now me a murder.

I'm not saying I want her to say she doesn't wanna see me again but I would understand if she did.

After some time Eve came out and by some dumb luck Styles didn't follow.

She sat to me on the sofa and hugged me for a solid three minutes.

I let the tears fell for a solid minute before talking myself to stop. I told her everything.

I started from the beginning and she listened. She didn't judge me and we agreed to tell Wren some part of the story.

We decided on what to do next. She said she'll sign the custody papers herself if she has to. I love her for that.

I left with a lot of load off my shoulders.

I love my sister. She the strongest woman I know.

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Tell me you don't love Sage and Eve's relationship. It's the strongest thing there is.

One secret down, one more to go.

So..... I've started posting this book on and I would really appreciate your support.

On , it's under the same title, Sage. But it's edited and I've added more and changed conversation.

I will always say this, thank you guys for your support of my stories. I appreciate it a lot.

And if you loved this chapter please vote and comment.

I love you all

Prec