SAGE novel Chapter 53

Sage Miller

Nothing felt normal or easy; it didn't feel like anything at all. Everything was numbingly painful. I ran a hand through my face and took a deep breath then decided to go downstairs. I couldn't avoid Connor forever.

I heard him come home a little while ago but I wasn't in the mood to talk. I'm positive Sebastian told him what I did and I'm not proud of how I reacted. It wasn't my finest hour.

I held on the railing for balance while slowly ascended the stairs. Nothing felt normal, it was as if everything was on slow motion and on limbo at the same time. Everything was so numb, like the air in the eye of the storm.

The wood on the middle step screeched causing Connor to turn around. I held my breath and almost spun around and ran back to my room.

Both of us stared at each other to see who would react first but Connor smiled and said hello. I couldn't master a smile so I gruffly replied with a hello.

He was surprisingly cheery, not really surprising since he's always like this. I don't know exactly what mood I expected him to be in but I guess I didn't expect it to be normal.

He made small talk then I decided to move again and finished walking down the steps.

"I brought grilled cheese sandwich. It's on the kitchen counter." He said and went back to watching some car show he was watching before I came down.

I past by him and he was holding a little bowl that was filled with gummy bears.

I wasn't actually hungry or even had an appetite. The doctor warned me that I wouldn't have an appetite for a few days but I should eat.

I decided to take a bottle of water from the fridge but the water tasted like acid. The doctor also warned me that things might taste shitty for a few days.

I lost the little appetite I had then decided to go watch tv with Connor.

"New batch?" I asked pointing at the bowl in his hands. I was attempting to make small talk.

"Yeah, Sebastian is still supplying me. A year long supply and whatnot. He was here earlier." I immediately tensed thinking back to how unreasonable I acted this morning when was here to support me.

"What did he tell?" I asked wry.

"Umm, nothing just that you weren't feeling well still." He answered confused and frowning.

"Oh!"

"Why, was he suppose to tell me something?" He asked.

"Nothing that I know of." I replied aloof wondering of Sebastian.

"He did tell me you and Kate broke up though." He told me and I snapped my head to him.

"Umm yeah we did."

"Can't say I'm surprised thou, I had a feeling she had something to do with what happened to you, I'm right ain't I?"

"I don't wanna talk about it." I told him in a quiet grumpy tone.

"Okay cool." He paused for a moment. "But I wanna talk about something."

"As long as it isn't Kate related, sure." I warmed him.

Kate is my trigger and nothing good comes out of thinking about her. I need to keep her of my mind before I drive to her house and murder in her sleep.

"Actually it isn't about her. It's about your sister's boyfriend." I frowned confused.

"It's about Styles?" I asked him not seeing where this conversation was going.

"Yeah, I didn't know his name." He said and before he could continue someone knocked.

I heard the door opening before either of us got up to get the door.

I quickly stood up, same with Connor. Both of us on high alert.

Sebastian popped up looking frenzy and frantic and worried.

"You scared us." Connor said and threw a pillow at him.

"That's not important right now." He brushed him off and walked fully inside the living room.

"You haven't heard, have you?" He asked me timidly and I immediately got worried.

My palms were sweating without even knowing what was wrong. I knew a storm was approaching.

"Heard what?" I asked him then looked back at Connor then back at Sebastian alarmed.

My heart was beating was fast I felt it in my skull.

"Umm, your sister was arrested thirty minutes ago." I felt like the words were on fast forward and on slow motion at the same time.

Time slowed down for me while everything else carried on at the normal pace. I felt suffocated and light headed. I felt like the ground beneath my feet was shaking to its core opening a sink whole and swallowing me .

I stretch my hand and grabbed Connor for support as I slowly sat down.

"What?" I whispered.

"The G-Styles called me to let you know and he said he's working on getting her out today. He already has people working on that right now..." My brain zone the rest of what he said out.

My ears were ringing. I couldn't imagine how scared she is right now alone in a jail cell.

Then it clicked to me that she was in a jail cell at the police station where her rapist work. My anxiety levels skyrocketed at that moment. My brain started going 180 a second.

"I wanna go see her." I told them then realized I said t quietly and they didn't hear me. I stood and repeated to them only a little louder this time.

I have to be there for her. She can't be alone right now.

"I have to get to Eve right now." I mumble grabbing her car keys and literally ran out the door. I didn't think they'd follow me but they did.

The whole way to the police station I felt like the car was driving itself, I was on limbo trying to get there as soon as possible but I couldn't get there fast enough. I violated every road safety law that exist on my way there and as soon as I got to the Miami PD headquarters, I parked recklessly hoping no cop paid any attention and ran inside.

I found a nice grown lady at the front.

"Please, her name is Evernly Wren Miller." I begged the old woman. "She's eighteen and I'm her brother."

"I'm checking for you Sir, please sit down." She said politely.

"You don't understand, I can't. " I told her desperately and people started complaining because I cut the line.

"Sit down, I'll be able to assist you when it's your turn." She was getting irritated and the people sitting down were getting rowdy and before I could argue I heard my name being called in the crowd.

I turned around and looked for the person calling me and saw both Connor and Sabastian waving at me at the back of the crowd. I made face at them until they shouted that she was just released.

I apologized to the woman and walked to them.

"We must've just missed them, she was bailed out." Connor told me and I scowled at him. "It's all over social media."

I nodded and walked passed them and walked out of the police station.

"Yeah, Styles called me to tell you they are going to Wren not the penthouse." Sebastian added.

I felt like I could relaxed as I walked up to the car knowing Eve isn't stuck in a jail cell.

"You guy can go, I'm going to Wren's I have to see Eve and how she's doing." I told them and after they said goodbye, I got inside Eve's car and drove off to Wren's house.

When I got there they told me Eve was in the shower and Styles was in the backyard while Wren was with the attorney's. I was itching to find out what this was all about because it sounded serious, so serious that Wren involved a whole team of attorneys.

I went outside to the backyard to talk to Styles. If anyone was going to explain what was going was him.

When I stepped out back I saw him facing his back on me and I could tell he was worried and tense. My guts twisted with each step I took.

"Styles." I called out to him and he slowly turned around and said nothing. I decided to go ahead and ask him, it was evident that he wasn't going to say anything. "What going on, why was Eve arrested?"

He release a heavy sigh and frustratedly ran a hand over his face then pushed his hair off his face.

"She's been accused of attempted murder." He told me defeatedly.

"What, that's crazy. She'd never kill anyone." My eyes widened. I know she has issue but murder isn't one of them. "You don't think she did it, do you? She didn't do it."

"Don't you think I know that. I know that more than anyone." He raised his voice and started pacing around. "I just don't fucking know how to fix this."

"What, you're the Godfather, you own a freaking gang for heaven sake. You can make all these charges go away. You do it for guys in the gang but you can't do it for Eve." I accuse him and he immediately stopped pacing and whipped his head to me with a harsh glare.

"Don't fucking dare Miller, I would do anything for that woman up there and you fucking know it." He sneered at me roughly.

"Then make this go away."

"It isn't easy damnit. It's not like those guys in the gang, She can't have a record under her name. I have to clear her name." He yelled at me furiously.

I stepped back flinching.

"She just can't okay." He said low this time. He sounded so conflicted and defeated at the same time.

"If anyone can figure it out it's you." I stepped forward and placed my hand on his shoulder. He tensed a bit then relaxed. "I know you can."

It was my way at an attempt at comforting him.

"I might have to do something she won't like." And before I could ask what was it Susan called Styles saying that Wren needs to talk to him.

"Go." I told him and he followed her inside.

I walked to the patio and sat down then sighed. Soon after that Alex and Ben joined me and sat on either side putting me in the middle.

Ben rested his head on my thighs and laid on his back looking up.

"Is Eve going to jail again?" Alex asked in a sad distraught tone.

My face fell then I hugged him.

"Don't worry okay, your sister isn't going anywhere. She'll be here always." I assure them then ruffled both their hair.

"Hey!" Ben exclaimed pushing my hand away then got up.

"Stop!" Alex giggled and he pushed my hand away too. "You're ruining my hair."

They both stood up and stepped away from me. I grinned mischievously.

Their eyes widened as I stood up and began chasing them.

"I'm the hair ruiner, I will ruin your hair." I announced playfully in a deep voice.

"No please don't, we'll give you everything you want. Don't ruin our hair." They giggled running around the swimming pool.

I chased them chuckling and reminded of my childhood when things were simple.

After talking to Eve for a bit and making sure she was okay, but she could've been pretending to be okay I wouldn't know. She has gotten good at pretending.

I requested myself a ride ride and went home after promising Wren she wouldn't get a call that I wasn't in class tomorrow.

I got to my house then saw Alora's car on the curb and her sitting on top of it.

I frowned then handed the driver fifty bucks and got off the ride.

"Alora!" I breathed out.

She raised her head looking up at me then jumped off and walked up to me.

Without any greetings whatsoever she grabbed a fistful of my tee and pulled me in and smashed our lips together.

I was powerless against her. She was so intoxicating as I remember. I mumbled trying to say something but she didn't let go.

She leeched on my lips for a while then let go of me.

"What was that for?" I asked her breathless.

She sighed wiping her mouth.

"I had a crappy day and I needed it." I watched her speechless.

What could someone say after that. I was please to see that she isn't drunk.

I stood there not knowing what to do next. I wasn't eve sure why she was here. I didn't think she's want to see me again after the last time.

We both knew it wasn't suppose to end like that. So I guess that wasn't our end.

I licked my lips then snaked my hand around her waist and yanked her to my chest.

I used my other hand to push the hair out of her face.

"Sage.." I grabbed the back of her neck and felt her shiver.

It is good to know that my touch still affected her. I smiled pulling her close.

The wind blew at that exact moment as our lips touched and I kissed her with so much care. I moved my lips slowly tilting her head to the side.

She moaned grabbing my arms then with a soft peck on the lips, I let her go. She was as breathless as I was a few moment ago.

"What was that for?" She asked me taking a few steps back and I smirked.

"That last few days were crappy and I needed it." I repeated back her words. She smiled blushing.

"Tochè." She chuckled. "I saw the article about your sister."

Just like that, the sparks stopped flying. I looked down at the paving averting my gaze from her sympathetic one.

"Oh!" I didn't mean to sound so disappointed that she only came here for that but I did. I assumed she was here because she missed me and after the days I've had. I missed her.

She's one person I don't need sympathy from right now.

"Yeah it's all over social media right now." She added not picking up on my displeasure of her choice of topic.

"So.. that's why you came. Because Eve got arrested not because you wanted to see me?"

She looked down and I noticed that her cheeks were red again. I raise an eyebrow.

"I came here because it's true I had a crappy day but it's because of your sister and your girlfriend or should I say ex-girlfriend now." My interest was easily picked as I took a step closer to her.

"Now where did you hear that?" I mused hooking my finger under her chin and raising her head up.

"Kate, she came by my house this afternoon."

"What?" I raised my voice. "She did."

Alora nodded. "I'm Sorry, I don't know how she knows where you live." Kate is unstable and crazy.

"It's like I'm your scapegoat for everything wrong in your life." She stated sadly.

"Don't say That, Kate was out of line and I'll deal with that." I promised her brushing her cheek.

She turned her head to the side. "It's not just that, it's everything on top of that, your sister too."

"Did she say anything to you?" I asked her my eyes wide but she shook her head.

"She didn't say anything she hasn't said before but today I accepted something about Everrnly." She told me.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Evernly will always see Evernly's side, with her it's either the way she sees something or no way at all, there's no changing that. There's nothing I'd do to change that. I hoped someday she would forgive me but I accepted that I won't live long enough to see that day and even if I do, that day may never come but I do wish I'd realized sooner because that would've saved me a lot of heartache." Her voice waver a bit but she quickly covered it.

I felt sad for her, Eve is a hard person when she loves she loves whole heartedly and when she hates, she hates the way she loves. It's the deep family issues knitted in her DNA that's the problem.

"Don't give up on her." I subconsciously took Eve's side.

"Well, she makes it hard not to." She spat then I chose to drop it because it won't get pretty.

"Let's change the subject." I suggested which Alora was glad to do.

"Okay." She happily agreed then I grinned thinking of this one place I want her to see.

I looked up and saw that it was a clear night, even though it is fall, the stars were shinning even though there was no moon but it was okay because the stars were enough.

"Stay here, I'll be right back." I told her and didn't wait for her answer.

I kissed her cheek and ran inside the house with a big goofy smile. I unlocked the door and ran to the hallway to get my keys from the bowl and got two wine glasses then a bottle of wine Eve left here a while ago.

I ran back outside and got in my car then backed out of driveway to where she was standing.

I rolled down the window on the passenger side and leaned in and yelled at her. "Get in."

I opened the door for her and she got in laughing lightly. "Where are you taking me?"

"You'll see." I told her. "It's a special place I like to go."

I drove away from the city to a cliff just outside of town. The last time I was here I was with Kate and looking back at it now, I wish I never brought her here.

"I come here when I want to get away from people or when I want to be sad alone." I told her as I helped her get a blanket out of my trunk.

"I can't imagine you being sad." She suddenly said. "It just feels so wrong."

"Why, am I not human?" I asked her laughing lightly.

"I don't know, I just don't see you being sad and moppy." She laid down the blanket then put the two glasses down. "If you get sad then there's no hope for me."

"I'm human Smurf, I get sad sometimes." I told her but she had stopped doing anything.

She was looking at me with a big smile and her eyes shimmering with emotions like happiness and joy.

"What?" I asked her chuckling nervously.

"You called me Smurf." She pointed out and I chuckled again.

"Yeah, I guess I did." I mused.

"I didn't think I'd hear you call me that ever again." She told me and a blush creeping up her neck.

"Well, you'll always be my Smurf," I said to her walking to her. I brushed a strand if her away from her face with my fingers. "Blue hair or not, you'll always be my Smurf."

Two glasses later, Alora and I were taking about everything and nothing. We were enjoying each other's company.

We went from allergies that don't make sense to zodiac signs. Apparently I'm a Capricorn and she's a Scorpio and according to the zodiac signs were are compatible.

I was laying on my back with my hands folded under my head for support looking at the stairs.

Alora was also lying faced up but she was laying her head on my thighs.

"I refuse to base my entire personality on that bullshit okay. I refuse to think that my highs and lows, things that had shaped me into the person I am today it's because my dad's pull out game was week mid April."

Alora busted out laughing before I even finished talking.

"You hate the idea of Zodiacs don't you?" She mused laughing.

"Hate is putting it lightly. That idea claims I did nothing to shape the person I am today. That was decided by a flaming ball of gas shaped like Orion's ass up there. People were like that looks like Orion's ass and they were like you have issues of abandonment and girls were like oh yeah you were born on Orion's..."

"I get it, I get it. Remind me never to mention zodiac signs around you." She laughed even harder when she saw I was close to blowing up.

The conversation died a bit after that but it was easy to pit it up again.

"You keep on insisting on this dying before twenty, what is wrong with you, it's not funny okay." Alora said irritated.

"I'm not saying it to be funny." I told her softly. She sat up looking at me but I closed my eyes. "It isn't a joke Smurf. You know, when some closes their eyes, they see their future but you know what I see, nothing, just darkness."

I heard her sigh.

"Of course when you close your eyes you'll see darkness and those people are taking figuratively not literally." She explained. "Now stop saying all that nonsense okay. I can't loose you too."

She laid back down on my thighs but I knew she didn't understand. No one does, I also mean it figuratively, I don't see a future for me. There's nothing, just a numbing plain of nothingness.

"But that's just it Smurf, I don't know where I heard it but I had this saying that goes like you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a villain. I, myself want to die a hero because I feel like I was born with a leak and any goodness I started with slowly spill out of me and soon it'll be gone and I'll never get it back in me. I want people to remember me when I still had good in me not when I was bad. That's what I want because people remember the bad stuff more than the good."

"That's dark." Her voice was hoarse. She cleared her throat. "But that isn't you though Sage. You are good." She spoke with so much passion that I envied the person she was talking about. I wanted to be him. "I could always trust on you to show people goodness."

I scoffed. "But that isn't me Smurf. There's nothing good about me."

"You wanna know what I do when I feel sad and had a really bad, awful, terrible day." She asked me.

"What?"

"I imagine my great great great granddaughter or even grandson on a good day. I imagine her talking to her friends in the future telling her friends about me. She's quirky and snarky and funny and telling her friends about me and how everything worked out in the end and when I think about that I think about how everything's gonna work out because how else will she tell people about me."

I thought about what Alora said. To some extent it was comforting but at the same time it's all an imagination. It's not real.

I opened my eyes with tears because I don't think it's gonna work out for me. I tried for a moment back there to think about that grandson or even granddaughter but my mind came out blank.

I was grateful that we weren't looking at each other.

"But... but." I stammered on my own words. "But it's fake."

She chuckled softly. "I know silly but it makes me feel better. It gives me hope to push, to get through it all. someone once said, if you're going through hell, keep going. Hell is not what you'll always know."

I wished I had something that makes me feel better.

"Well you know what makes me feel better?" It was my turn to ask her.

"What?"

"I imagine that getting in my car and opening all the windows then letting the wind blow my hair and I press the accelerator and let go of the wheel letting fate take control."

Let go of the controls and just be.

"Well don't do that." She said softly. "I don't want you to die."

"I won't. I'm not suicidal." I told her.

"That sounded like you are." She argued but I didn't wanna argue.

"That doesn't matter." I told her shutting her up.

"It seems like it does Sage. It seems like you're struggling and that matters to me."

"Well it doesn't. What matters is right now, this moment, this one spectacular moment we're sharing together right now. It's real you know and it's right now so it's all that matters. Nothing else."

"I guess you're right. This is real. My imagination is just that and yours is just that." She mused agreeing. "Imagination."

"Now you're getting it." I said quietly.

"Hey Sage," I hummed. "For what it's worth, I'm glad you broke up with Kate."

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I'm sorry for the typos and if you happened to come across one, don't be afraid to tell me as long as it's done in a respectful way.

I know that the chapter is a little dark, I'm sorry. I was feeling a little dark myself so I'm sorry for that.

And I would like to say I appreciate all your support and thank you very much.

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I love you all

Prec