Shouldn't Have Kissed You novel Chapter 38

"What's going on here?"

That was the first thing that came out of his mouth. He didn't know why but he wasn't planning on saying those words when he just walked in to find his wife on top of her male best friend. His heart was beating furiously and he felt like grabbing Mr. Ambrose throat and struggling him to death.

How dare he? He didn't even respect another man's matrimonial bed. Someone like him did deserve to see another day light. How could he. Chris heard his hand hurt only to realize that both his hands were in a fist. The nails dug deeper in his skin but he didn't care. His briefcase was long on the floor next to him.

"It's not what it looks like, Chris." That was Maya and he didn't know why her voice felt so far when she was so near.

"Get out." Again, he had no idea of what he was saying. It's like his mouth had a mind of its own. "Now, out!" He was shouting at Leonel.

Of course that's not his heart wanted. He want to know if Maya was in love with her friend. He wanted to hear both sides when they were both around but his mouth wasn't letting him do that. Instead it said things that he didn't mean to say. He just wanted answer before he did what he had planned to do.

Chris watched Leonel move towards the door and just happened that he was standing there. Looking at both of them as his jaws gritted.

"It may seem as a bad picture Mr. Rollins," Leonel began when he stood next to Chris. "But I assure you that nothing happened between your wife and I."

"I don't want to see you around here. Ever again. Now get the hell out of my house."

"Chris." Maya called him. "You're being unreasonable."

"I'm being unreasonable?"

"It's okay." Leonel said before Maya could answer him. "I don't want things to get worse than they already are because of me."

Chris turned to watch Leonel walk away. When turned again, Maya was picking the shopping bag from the bed. She didn't glance at him, instead she walked to her suitcase and picked her clothes then walked to the bathroom.

That had him wondering if he were Leonel, would she change in the bathroom or in front of him? Was he wrong to think that? This was the first time he saw her on a loose towel and she was top of another man.

Another man that wasn't him. Someone else who she felt comfortable being on top off him. The closes she has ever got near him was when he pretended to be high. That was the closes and she would even let him do anything with her. Not even cuddling but she was okay being on top of Leonel.

It hurt him. More than it was supposed to hurt. It did. What if he hadn't arrived on time? What if he had delayed with one minute. Then what? He would find the two rolling in the hay without carrying where they were? Would Maya be capable of doing that to him?

But again, what had he done for her not to betray him. He had humiliated her before. With every chance he got, he did it over and over again. He gave her hatred. He showed her not mercy at all. Then how wouldn't she not betray him.

Chris remember when he got back from his jogging only to find her still laying on the couch. That was so much unlike her. He asked her what was wrong and she said she didn't feel okay. But what did he do? He left her laying on the couch and went to work.

He didn't even fetch her any kinda painkillers just because she said she would be okay. Then what would make her not love another man? He was there when she needed someone to be around her. To cheer her up. Leonel was there. And he, he was busy making more money for himself when he already had more than he needed.

Chris hated himself more that now he thought of it. It would have been his fault if she would have slept with her friend. His and no one else. And to think he came home early to make it up for her. He had come to have a online conference with the board at home just to watch over his wife.

The bathroom door opened and Maya walked out wearing a black jeans and a tee shirt. Her hair was in ponytail and she wore no smile of her face. But again how could she when she had been caught in action with another man on his bed?

"So your not going to say anything?" His mouth cell wasn't letting him thing first before he spoke. "After what I got to see, you're going to say anything?"

Chris watched her seat on the couch.

"What do you want me to say, Chris?"

"That your sorry."

"Sorry." She was fighting it. He could see it in her eyes how hard she was fighting not to burst in frustration. "For what exactly? For you telling my best friend never to come around me?"

"Maya, you guys were in our matrimonial room."

"Matrimonial?" And there it was. What she had been fighting all this while. Since he asked Leonel to leave. "What is so matrimonial here, Chris? What, please make me see it."

Chris was about to lash out on her but this time, he controlled his mouth. He didn't want to fight her over nothing. Yes, it was nothing. There was nothing matrimonial about the room. Nothing. To think that he shared bed with her only ones and they did nothing.

The only think he managed to do was to give her a hickey. That's what he managed to do the whole night they shared bed. To even think that he has never kissed her. God, he even could count the times he has kissed her and it was almost a year since they got married. A whole year and he kissed her twice in his life. Once in their marriage and that's because he thought she was someone else.

So, there was nothing matrimonial about this bedroom. Nothing apart from two friends if he could still call her his friend lived in it. Nothing special at all.

"Do you love him?" Chris asked as polite as he could.

His heart was beating way too fast for his own liking. He just wanted to know where he stood in her life. To know if he had a chance with her at all for that matter.

Maya looked up to lock her gaze with his. "I do love him, Chris." His heart sunk. "But I'm not in love with him."

"Okay." He breathed a breath of relief. "Did you guys kiss. I mean, have you ever kissed?"

"We didn't and I've never kissed Leonel." She was being sincere and he could tell it. "That idea has never even crossed my mind. It's only today."

"Do you think that he could be a great lover?"

"Of course, but not for me." She got up from her seat. "He is too full of himself for my own liking."

"Maya...."

"Why are you asking me this questions, Chris?"

To know where I stand.

But he wasn't about to say that out loud. He wasn't going to tell her that. He was about to say something when his phone went off. It was his PA. He knew what he wanted to tell him so he picked up the call.

"Please cancel the rest of the meetings." And he hung up.

He wasn't about to let this opportunity go. Again, when he was about to talk, her phone went off from the bed. He picked it up to only come face to face with Leone's name on the screen with two heart emoji.

"What's the meaning of this?"

"Nothing." She pulled the phone away from his grasps.

Chris watched Maya pick up the call then walk to the bathroom. She went to speak to her friend in the bathroom so that he couldn't hear her at all. How far was he willing to believe that there was nothing going on between the two of them?

Was he stupid or trying to act as one? He walked around the room thinking of what to say to her. Should he let this go. Give up on them if there was ever them or what? The bathroom door opened again and she walked out.

He saw the smile that she was trying so hard hide and he hated himself way too much. How could he not make her smile? It seemed too easy for Leonel but too hard for him. He couldn't even please her that much.

"And you want me to believe that there is nothing going on between you two?" He couldn't help it. Not anymore. "I just remembered, you've ever kissed him Maya and you dared to look me in the eye and say you've never. How low could you scoop?"

"What's wrong with you, Chris?"

"You." He said walking around. "You are what's wrong with me. You Maya Rollins. I mean how can you lie without blinking? You've been with Leonel before. Remember the day you went on a date with him? I over heard you guys at the door.

"Remember you guys saying the way he had to wake you up with kisses all over? Remember that day? And how sure can I be that you didn't kiss him on those dates you went with him? I mean I can't go on a date with a woman and try not to do anything. You're a liar, Mrs. Rollins. A very big one at that."

"I can't believe this. Will we ever leave like human beings?"

"The day you stop whoring yourself." He didn't mean to say that. Again his mouth cell did the job and now it just made things worse. He wanted to apologize but she spoke before he could gather the courage.

"I'm whoring?" She was furious and it was his fault. What if she never spoke to him again? Damn his mouth cell! Where was the brain cell anyway? "Was I the one who slept with my so called girlfriend on my wedding day? Was I? Ooh! Or did I bring my boyfriend to out honeymoon and spent my night with him? Was I Chris?

"I've never kissed or fucked anyone after we exchanged our vows. I respect them since I said them before God. You may not believe me, but I don't care. There are so many things that are supposed to let me cheat on you but I've never even thought of it. And you call me a whore in my face?

"How dare you? How could you, Chris?" She was wiping her tears now. "I don't even know what I'm doing fighting with you."

Before he could say anything, she was out of the door. His feet were rooted on the ground. He had gone too far too far than he intended to. He didn't mean to call her that. He was a monster and he, he didn't deserve someone like her.

Chris heard the front door slam and all he hoped was not to get a silent treatment. Chris walked to the kitchen and his eyes almost pooped out of his socket. The kitchen was more than dirty and he didn't need to know what happened their.

He was in no mood of cooking anymore or doing anything, all he could do and need at that time a liquor. At least that would make him see how stupid he was.

Chris pulled his phone from the pocket and dialed his Nanny's number. She had not been coming in everyday since he began to make dinner for his wife. His wife? Where could she be now?

Did she run to that man. The one who made he happy. The one who never messed around like he did. The one who understood her better than anyone could. He was jealous. Jealous of Leonel. Jealous that Leonel knew allot than him when he was the first one to meet her. When he stayed the same house as her.

His nanny picked up at the first ring. He told her what he needed from her before hung up and not without telling her that he was busy so she shouldn't disturb him at all. Chris walked to the bar and looked for the bottles that he needed.

Yes, bottles. That's what could get him more than drunk. What would help him forget what tool place few minutes ago. Once settled in his study room, Chris opened the first bottle and let the liquor burn his throat.

She thought he slept with Kimberly while they were married. He never did that. He hasn't had sex with her since he got married to Maya. It only happened once and that was a mistake. Yes, a mistake and he is regretting it till now.

On the day of his wedding nothing happened between him and Kimberly, he just made he cum and all. On their honeymoon still he didn't sleep with her and she did complain but he respected his vows. He valued them more than his own life.

But how could he tell Maya that. She walked out before he could even say sorry to her. She didn't even let him explain that he never had sex with Kimberly willingly. He was week that day that it happened. He didn't want it but still it happened. And how was he going to tell her that.

That Kimberly....

He took another swig of his almost finished bottle stopping himself from think about one week ago. A week that he would rather forget than remember. If it was before, then maybe he would have been happy about it but not now. Not now when he thought he was in love with Maya.

Once his first drink was over, he threw the bottle on the wall. The pieces scatted everywhere but he didn't care. Damn Kimberly. She made him pretend in front of Maya that everything was okay. That nothing happened to him when he was particularly rap...

No need to go down the line. It was one week ago and that's the past. He too another bottle and this time he didn't get a pose what so ever. It was too much. It hurt. It hurt him more than he wanted to admit before.

Chris didn't know how long he was in there but what he knew was that he was drunk. He couldn't even move his body from the floor on his own. He couldn't even hold anything without his hand shaking. The three bottles he had drunk were broken pieces on the floor. He was numb that he was sure of.

His study room door opened when he broke the four bottles with half drunk liquor.

"Alma." He tried to get up. "I think I told you that I'm busy."

"She did." That wasn't Alma's voice but Maya's. She came back to him. She did return. "And I see how busy you're."

"Maya, I didn't mean to call you a whore." How he still talked without stammering, was beyond him. "I'm sorry Maya."

"You never seem to mean anything, Chris." Chris watched as she came towards him. "But I'm used to it by now."

She helped him by letting him lean on her. "I don't want you to get used to me like that, Maya."

"Don't worry Chris. I was born for the insults and hurt. That's my fate."

Chris leaned on the wall as Maya closed the door behind them. "It's not true, don't believe what your father and I've been doing to you. Your better than that."

"That's what they say to me." She placed him on the bed and moved to walk away but Chris held her hand.

"I'm sorry Maya. Really sorry for making you life hell. I'm even a more burden now that I'm drunk."

"Sleep it off, Chris."

"I want to tell you about Kimberly, Maya."

"I already know."

"You do?"

"Yes." He had sat up but she pushed him to lay back down. "She is the woman you love and I'm just your friend. I know."

Chris closed his eyes, "That's not it. Kimberly forced me into..."

"Just sleep it off, Chris."

And he let it go. His eyes were becoming so heavy and he didn't want to fight it anymore. What was the use if Maya didn't want to listen to him.

"I love you, Maya."

He didn't know if he said it out loud or he in his inner thoughts but that made him feel at peace before letting darkness talk over.