Sinful Mates 1-3 novel Chapter 120

　　Evelyn’s POV

　　“I thought you said Lana wasn’t there,” Thaddeus asked over my shoulder.

　　“She was there. She tried to put me out, she burnt her hands terribly,” I answer, my heart pounding in my chest. Remembering the smell of my burning flesh and my hair, so pungent I could almost taste it in the back of my throat, making me want to gag.

　　“I don’t want you take it away.” Orion watches me confused. I thought I wanted that, but I didn’t want to forget Lana. Why I did it, it made it easier to life with what I did.

　　“I don’t understand?” Orion said, moving closer, his head lying next to Thaddeus’s leg as he lays down.

　　“I don’t want to forget her; I need to know I did it for a reason,” I tell him looking away.

　　“What do you mean?” Thaddeus asked, pulling my face to his, his eyes searching my face.

　　“I… I..” I couldn’t bring myself to say it.

　　“You what, Evelyn?” Thaddeus asks and I could feel all their eyes on me.

　　“Anything you have done cannot be compared to the things we have done, Evelyn. We won’t judge you,” Ryland tells me, looking up at me.

　　“He wouldn’t have stopped, so I killed him. I set the fire, I set him on fire." They looked shocked and I could feel their shock through the bond before confusion set in again. I have carried that for so long and saying it felt like a relief, like someone had lifted the weight off me. I killed somebody. He may have been a monster, but I still killed someone.

　　“He would have raped her too, I couldn’t leave her with him, so I killed him. I was going to age out of system, but she would have had to put up with it for another six or more years. A year was bad enough for me, I couldn’t imagine leaving her to him. I couldn’t let him destroy her,” I whisper, looking away back toward the window. Thaddeus growls loudly, and I jump. Anger radiated through the bond. I knew they would hate me for what I did, knew I should have kept it to myself. Getting off the bed, I move away. Ryland sits up, watching me.

　　“See this is why I didn’t tell anyone, no one would believe me,” I tell them, tears brimming in my eyes.

　　“We aren’t angry at you, Evelyn. He deserved it. You did nothing wrong,” Orion says, but Thaddeus was glaring at me. I step back as the lights flicker. My eyes dart to Orion who is watching me, and I don’t understand the look he is giving me. Disbelief, shock, I was unsure, but I could tell Thaddeus was angry at me. Was it because I was used goods, because I wasn’t as innocent as he thought?

　　Turning on my heel, I go to run for the door when I hear Thaddeus growl and the lights go out. Running into something hard, I nearly fall over before I feel a hand reach out and grab me. The flickering of the lights stop, and I find Thaddeus standing in front of me, blocking the door. My heart is beating in my chest so hard I could hear it, feel it jolting against my chest painfully.

　　He clamps his hands on the sides of my face; I brace myself, knowing this is how I die. This is my karma for what I did. When suddenly I feel his hands heat before they go ice cold, and I scream as my mind is consumed and I can feel what feels like fingers sifting through the files of my mind. It’s the weirdest sensation, like I could feel him picking through memories before I am suddenly plunged back into my fifteen-year-old self, see the moment I was dropped off at their house by my caseworker. I feel my breath hitch when she knocks, and I am excited to be with what I thought was a friendly couple. I feel tears brim and fall as I sob. The entire year I was with them, every waking memory of that year flashes before my eyes so fast I can’t catch my breath. Thaddeus growls loudly, and I can feel his hands shaking before the movie of my life suddenly stops, and I am staring into Thaddeus’s hypnotic green eyes, dazzled by them. His words echoing in my head and it’s all I can think of.

　　“It’s over. It happened, but it doesn’t hurt. You did what you had to do. You are safe now. Let it go.” I try to shake off what he says. When I find it slipping deeper into my mind, the memories becoming foggy and distant, the surrounding feelings slipping away with them. I find myself repeating after him, the words leaving my lips and I feel like I am in a trance.

　　“It’s over, it happened, but it doesn’t hurt. I did what I had to do. I am safe, I can let it go.” The moment the last word left my lips I felt the weight lift, felt everything holding me back lift, and I felt light, like I could breathe for the first time. I felt free. Free of guilt, free of the pain, and free to move on. Thaddeus eyes searching my face, and I feel tears run down cheeks, not tears of sadness but tears of relief. I was finally free. Hitting his chest hard as he let go, and I ran into his arms. I was safe. They were safe.

　　“Thank you,” I whispered as I sobbed into his chest, his arms wrapping around me holding me to him before I feel him grip my waist and I wrap my legs around him hugging him tightly, his hands rubbing my back soothingly.

　　Ryland’s POV

　　She panicked, thinking our anger was at her, and bolted for the door. Our anger wasn’t directed at her, but at what happened. Thaddeus growled, the lights flickering out before flicking on, and he was directly in front of her. She freezes, her entire body going tense as he grips her face and sifts through her mind, digging through every memory. His eyes turn black once he finds what he is looking for, his grip tightening on her as he watches every memory. Every emotion she felt in that year hits me and him full force and I feel sick to my stomach. Running for the bathroom, I throw up, feeling everything that piece of shit did to her. I have not been sick ever, so that was a fresh experience for me. My throat burned as I threw up the contents of my stomach. I could feel him still sifting through her memories and feel what she endured as I wash my face before walking out. Orion is sitting there with wide eyes, and I know he is in Thaddeus head watching along with him. For once I am glad I don’t have that gift because curiosity probably would have made me snoop too. Thaddeus’s words pull my eyes back to him as I feel the ill feeling coiling in my stomach leave.

　　“It’s over, it happened, but it doesn’t hurt. You did what you had to do. You are safe now. Let it go,” he says, her eyes glazing over as she tries fighting against it. I am shocked he didn’t just completely erase it. He let her keep the memories because of the girl she didn’t want to forget. Thaddeus’s hands glowing green as I watch him pull the darkness from her, absorbing it and taking it from her. A range of emotions flood the bond before he repeats his words, and she repeats after him. Relief is all I can feel from her as the heavy burden of what she carried is lifted. She runs to him, her little arms wrapping around him before he picks her up, hugging her close like they are each other’s lifeline. Thaddeus green eyes go to ours, and Orion and I watch as he closes his eyes, tears running down his cheeks at what he saw. What she went through. The first time we had ever seen him cry. I didn’t think he was even capable of tears. Orion I could feel was just as upset, and I promise myself never to ask what they saw. Orion moves to her wrapping his arms around them, and Evelyn turns her head on Thaddeus shoulder, and she looks completely relaxed and at home in their arms.

　　I let out the breath I was holding, watching them in awe. Thaddeus kisses her head, and she lifts her face from his shoulder before kissing him. Thaddeus’s shock hits me before he kisses her back softly, his hand going into her hair gently holding her in place. I chuckle at the sight of them before she pulls back, resting her forehead on his.