The Alpha novel Chapter 30

I was avoiding Derek. Rightfully so. I went to Hannah’s and she was excited to see me, we hung out for hours until Garret came home. She offered to stay for dinner and Garret didn’t have a problem with it, but I felt like it would be a burden so I declined.

We had a nice time, in my opinion, I hoped she felt the same. We watched some movies, talked, joked, she even wanted to do my make-up. It was the first time I saw myself in a mirror in a while. My face had some color to it and my hair seemed lighter.

She gave me the dress and coaxed me to try it on. It was a purple, spaghetti strap, mid-length dress. Embarrassingly, when I did try it on for her, I completely broke down in her bathroom when I saw the scars on the back.

At that moment, I don’t think I’ve ever hated myself more. Hannah immediately comforted me, telling me there was nothing to be ashamed of. It took some time but she calmed me down. I told her I couldn’t wear it, but she insisted I did, that I looked good in it, and I could just wear a cardigan with it.

I went back to Derek’s home after Garret and snuck my way up to my room. I didn’t bother eating, some memories bouncing in my head after the dress incident. I ended up taking it home, and I put it in the closet, grabbing some clothes and going into the bathroom to change.

I was slightly taken back when I turned on the light because on the wall there was a reflexive rectangle. A mirror.

Derek put in a mirror? Because I asked?

My wolf warmed up at the thought that he cared, but I was so shaken from his actions yesterday that I couldn’t share the same feeling as Sage. I guess now my goal was to not cut myself with it. Could I even break it?

What about the razors?

I doubt he would put those back, and I was right. I checked the bathroom and found none.

The next day, I also avoided Derek.

To keep myself busy, in a beneficial way, I went and saw Socorro. He gave me a set of pens because as he said, he wanted me to track my feelings and thoughts, that and he forgot to last time. The session went well, of course there were a few episodes when we discussed Chris and he asked to call in Derek when I couldn’t calm down after a moment. Thankfully he didn’t.

Although part of me missed him, I shouldn’t but I seriously couldn’t help it.

I was feeling more comfortable around him, although each time sessions started I would get very shy. It took some time for the embarrassment to wear off and then we were able to discuss what was needed and wanted.

When I went back to the house, I put away the pens in the nightstand with my inhaler before I carefully walked back down. I didn’t want to see Derek. My wolf wanted to, my bond tugging with unease without him.

Maybe I should’ve, he did put a mirror in the room, as I asked. But still, I didn’t. I ate half a sandwich before I went back to my room.

Then, it was the day of the ceremony.

I had a small breakfast and of course, distanced myself from Derek. I took a shower and shaved with a razor that Hannah gave me. She knew why Derek wouldn’t give me one, but after she made me promise to not hurt myself, she gave me an extra one she had. Our secret.

I got out and did my makeup, and put on the dress. I took a deep breath as I looked at my reflection. My eyes started to produce tears as I saw how scrawny and scarred I was. They gathered in my eyes, daring to fall and ruin my make-up.

( ‘It’s okay Violet, you can do this.’ )

I whined in response. I didn’t want to do this, I wasn’t happy with my body or how it looked. I was too skinny and although my complexion was gaining color, it still looked like a pasty-olive color. Dull.

Nonetheless, I pulled myself together. I grabbed a black button-down and pulled it over my shoulders so it covered my exposed back and shoulders and I put on my shoes.

I walked downstairs and had to face Derek. He was already waiting at the door and he checked my body as I walked up to him. My face flushed at his attention and I kept my head down so he wouldn’t notice. Sage purred in anticipation and that confused me.

“You look beautiful Violet,” Derek complimented me. “Smell amazing,” he whispered to himself.

I stuttered for a second finding the words to use, “thank you,” I whispered.

He hummed and reached for my hand. He grabbed it and pulled me to him. I let out a small breath and I looked up at him.

He was so pretty.

His hair was done neatly and he was dressed in a deep brown button-up that made his skin look tan. His eyes stood out.

“Like what you see?” Derek broke me out of my trance and I blushed. “I’m just teasing Flower, come on,” he opened the door and walked with me.

It was nearing dawn and was breathtaking outside. The sky a deep purple, navy taking its spot as stripes of orange disintegrated behind the tall trees. I felt warm. I’m not sure if it was the weather or if it was my wolf happy that Derek was being nicer to me.

He’ll probably lash out at me tonight and make me feel worse.

We got to the ceremony and it was nicely set-up. There were lights set up and tables and seats. It was beautiful.

Derek ran it nicely, and even though I was against it, he had me up on the stage when he finalized Garret as the Beta of Night Stone. They stood at the podium as I sat with some higher-ranking officials behind it. Then he introduced Hannah as Beta female.

They were both nicely dressed. Hannah dressed in a light blue long dress and Garret wore a nice button-down and a tie that matched Hannah’s outfit.

It was a nice celebration and afterward, people mingled, danced, , and congratulated Garret and Hannah. I was getting warming as time progressed, uncomfortably warmer. I wasn’t really into the partying so I was sitting at one of the tables, slowly drinking my water to cool myself down. Sage kept urging for me to see Derek and there were a few times I saw him looking over at me. I would get warmer and he’d studied me before going back to what he was doing.

“Good evening Violeta,” I turned my head to see Socorro. I gave a smile in return, “you look lovely tonight.”

“Thank you,” I rushed, not used to compliments. He smiled and nodded.

“Of course. How are you?” he asked as he took a seat at the round table.

“I’m doing okay, just hot,” I told him and he had a knowing glint in his eyes. “How a-are you?” I asked.

“Doing just fine. I’m surprised Alpha hasn’t gotten you yet,” I raised my eyebrows in confusion at that. He went to tell me but a woman called his name, “well, that’s my wife. I’m sure you’ll figure out what I mean, try not to let anyone near you. I’ll see you later,” he smiled and got up, leaving me confused.

More time went on, my wolf craved Derek more and more and I got hotter and hotter. I got up and started to walk away, back to the house. Sage growled at me for walking away from Derek but I ignored her.

Yearning? A small fire of desire building up in me. A desire for Derek. As I was walking away, Sage suddenly purred in anticipation and before I could question it, there was a hand that grabbed my arm. Sparks flew and I gasped. I felt myself cool down slightly before I flamed back up.

Heat.

I turned and faced him, his eyes were dark, pooling with lust. He pulled me closer to him, my body melting with his. A sigh of relief left my lips as I cooled.

“De-”

“Shh Flower, let’s go back,” he spoke, his voice dark with desire, and started walking me back to the house, pulling me closer to his side. My need for him grew the more he walked.

We were at the steps, barely in the door when I couldn’t take it anymore. The heat was too much and Derek seemed to be the only thing to cool it down.

“Derek,” I groaned out and fisted his shirt in my hand. I turned to him, my chest pressing against his. I looked deeply into his eyes and I went to kiss him.

I barely moved before his lips took mine. I moaned against his lips which earned a growl from him. His hands wrapped around my waist and mine found his neck, squeezing myself into him.

He pulled me up and walked up the stairs, into my room as he attacked my lips, bringing down my temperature. Derek laid me on the bed and pulled away from my lips. I whined.

“Flower, you’re in heat,” he said but I didn’t care. I pulled on his shirt to bring his lips back down. He held himself up and a small growl left my lips.

What was his problem? Kiss me!

“Derek,” I whined and moved my hips against his.

He stiffened for a moment, intensely looking down at me. He let out a frustrated groan and brought himself down on me, kissing me.

I felt pleasure coarse through me straight to my core. I wrapped an arm around his neck, the other rubbing his back. He pulled off my shirt that covered my shoulder and then moved the dress straps down my arms.

Small alarm bells rang in my mind, I wasn’t completely comfortable with him seeing my scars, but my bond blinded my insecurities.

He dragged the dress down my body and tossed it to the side. His hands roamed my body and I arched into his touch. My core was dripping in anticipation and I wrapped my legs around his waist, rubbing against his bulge to find release.

He groaned against my lips, trailing down to my mark and sucked on it. I gasped in pleasure and he continued on his tour. His hand found my boob and gave me a light squeeze. He trailed it down to my underwear seam and played with it while his other hand unhooked my bra and pulled it off of me.

Once it was fully off and discarded somewhere in my room, he pulled back to admire me. I arched more to maintain contact with his clothed chest. Why was his shirt still on, I want it off. A dark growl left his lips.

I furrowed my brows in confusion, caught up in the moment to understand what he was pissed about. I looked at where his eyes were trained and a whole wave of knowledge and insecurities washed over me. He was staring, not at my boobs but at my cut up abdomen.

I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to do. So, I laid there and waited even though my body was on fire at the fact that he wasn’t touching me. His hands on the side of my head were shaking. He closed his eyes and let out a breath, leaning down to my stomach. He lightly kissed my scars and I felt my bond swell in adoration.

“You so beautiful Flower,” he moved to the long scar that Chris cut into me mere days before Derek took me away, “my strong Flower,” he whispered, kissing it. “Mine.”

I moaned softly at the contact, my head spinning because all I wanted- all I needed was his touch.

He moved one hand to my boob and started to fondle it, rubbing my nipple, slightly pulling. My breathing became heavier and he moved his other hand over my area between my legs. I gasped at the contact and he lightly put pressure on it.

My body twitched at the unfamiliar sensation. I’ve never felt this pleasured during sex. Derek gave a quick peck to my lips before he moved down to my other boob and started to lightly suck on it. I silently gasped, my eyes fluttering.

He hooked his fingers on my underwear and slid them down. Derek brought her fingers to my slit and rubbed my wetness over myself. I shivered in desire and glee.

“Derek,” I whispered.

Why was his shirt still on?

He hummed against my nipple in his mouth and I felt a bolt of electricity shot down me.

“Take off your s-shirt,” I whispered, dizzy in pleasure.

He removed his hand from my other breast, and moved his mouth to it, giving it attention as his hand unbuttoned his shirt and tossed it on the floor. He moved from my breasts, kissing me down to my pelvis. My hands found his hair and knitted in it.

He looked up at my cracked eyes and removed his fingers from my mound and licked my wetness off. Once they popped out of his mouth, he brought them up to me, parted my mouth and I eagerly took them, sucking.

He kissed down my pelvis and parted my legs more so he had better access. He gave a small kiss to the inside of each thigh before he hovered over my middle. He looked up.

“Please,” I spoke through his fingers, one of my hands in his hair, the other on his wrist.

“Anything for my Flower,” he spoke, voice dripping in lust.

He gave a quick peck to my clit which earned a gasp from me before he put his mouth, licking at me. I gasped and bucked my hips, immediately wanting more. He pulled his fingers from my lips and grabbed my boob, his other holding my thigh.

Moans left my mouth uncontrolled. My region was sensually warming up as Derek worked his tongue, lapping against my folds, my body filling with pleasure. His hand on my boob trailed down to meet his mouth.

He rubbed against my entrance before he plunged his fingers in. I gasped out, my hand tightening in his hair.

I knew, if not for the bond at the moment, I would have had an episode. But my bond was cradling this moment.

I purred his name and he inserted another finger in me, quickening his pace. He pulled his mouth off my mound and moved up to my breasts, leaving wet kisses all over, his fingers plunging inside me, his thumb rubbing my clit.

I was heaving, one hand clenching my bedsheet. I was spinning, on cloud nine. He sucked and pulled my nipples, all while making a pressure build up in my core. I was painting and he kissed my open mouth.

I moaned right into him and he groaned against me. He moved from my mouth down to my mark and started to nibble on it.

That was the final straw.

I gasped his name, my head falling back, and my back arching as I reached a peak. He pulled away from my mark to watch my face and his eyes locked on mine. I was breathing heavily as I started to come down, his fingers slowing as he let me ride out my orgasm.

“Fuck Flower,” he groaned as I came down completely. I felt exhausted. He pulled his fingers out of me and while maintaining eye contact, he popped them in his mouth and sucked them, my release and all.

“Sweet.” he praised, “taste just like honey, fitting,” winked at me.

A sleepy sound left my lips and he looked down at my tired state. He gave a small smile and kissed my forehead. He moved to scoop up my naked body. I moved into his chest, snuggling in his warmth. Derek pulled back the sheets and slid in bed with me.

The moment my head hit the pillow, I felt like my consciousness was there by a thread. Deek picked up on it and gave me a light kiss on top of my head, his hand softly rubbing me to sleep.

“Night Derek,” I mumbled.

“Goodnight Flower,” I heard his whisper as I fell asleep.