The Carrero Contract - Selling Your Soul (Mafia Romance) novel Chapter 93

Alexi, for the first time, looks slightly uncomfortable, eyes flicking to his lap and a tiny frown, a moment of something I can’t read before they come back up to meet mine.

‘Agreed … to a certain extent … I need you to still represent me and my name, Cam, which comes with restrictions.’ His voice is equally soft, quieter as he responds and the moment seems as far away from business as possible. As far away from Alexi and Camilla conversations as it could be. Another lengthy pause as I let his answer sink in and find my inner strength once more.

I can never let him reel me back in, not with soft looks and tender tones. I know all his tricks.

‘I know how to be discreet and how to behave, trust me to know how to do this without your direction. I am not part of this deal. I will be my own person and I can walk at any time. If you make me feel like you did, in any tiny way then I won’t hesitate to leave you.’ I feel like I am signing my life away, this heavy weight of doom hanging over me trying to warn me of a stupid decision, but I was never that good at listening to my gut; Always running towards danger.

He has the upper hand and all the things in the world I want. I am tired of surviving. I want to come back and stop running from the world in general. It was easier when I was here, wrapped in the Carrero empire’s safe bubble. I miss knowing what that could feel like. I miss my life.

‘If that’s what it takes, then fine … Anything else?’ He doesn’t seem so happy anymore, yet he’s not angry either. Agreeable even if it’s begrudged, but I sigh with relief that he’s not picking apart these demands in the way I was expecting him to.

The Alexi I know isn’t this easy to negotiate with, and isn’t so reasonable when it comes to positions and toys. He’s a born Dom and this must be killing him.

‘You don’t get to touch me, in any way, shape or form, from here on in … at all.’ I spell it out as basically and clearly as I can. No touching means no chance of ever weakening me back to his way of thinking. It’s my only real defence when it comes to dealing with him.

Alexi this time does react; that eyebrow flicker, the little tightening of his jaw, a visible flinch and disbelieving half laugh, half snort. He doesn’t like this one. My guts tighten, heart skips a beat and I hold my breath—on edge and waiting.

He looks away across the room and the second flinch of his jaw hints that he really is not happy about that little demand, his mind running through it, over, under, and around, probably tying the fucker up and poking it with sharp things. I won’t back down on this one for anything.

I don’t want him to ever touch me again and with this one thing in place there is no danger of ever falling back under his spell. No sex, no punishment, no way to hurt me.

No control.

Alexi’s biggest weapons are all tied up in one little rule!

‘It’s a deal breaker for me if you say no,’ I add in afterthought, finding courage, and Alexi looks a little madder for a moment. Eyes narrowing at whatever he’s glaring at across the room, turning it to stone with the power of that frown, before he turns back to me with a heavy sigh and a little shake of his head. As though he is really battling to be okay with this. I can see the storm in those grey eyes as he bites on his typical reaction to curb it.

I should take all of this as a warning and just forget it. Just go. I should not put myself in danger this way again.

‘Whatever you want.’ It’s through almost gritted teeth and his tone has an edge that borders on severely agitated, but he agreed and I let out the breath I have been holding tight in my lungs as warmth floods my body. He may be an accomplished liar and prick, but when he makes boundaries, he tends to stick to them. I can tell by his salty mood he is doing just that.

Screw him. I don’t care if it pisses him off.

‘I want all this in writing—ALL of it. I want you to promise me. I would also like a clause that states if you break any part of the contract that results in me leaving then the value of my percentage is paid to me in full before I walk away, to cut all ties … Without argument … Without taking it to court!’ I am the one to raise brows this time; fighting my corner, fuelled by nerves and a deep sense of unease. I know I am playing with fire but my sanity depends on this. Alexi looks both pissed and impressed at the same time and shakes his head lightly in disbelief. I know him too well, and that sadistic bastard is most likely clambering to throw a hissy fit inside that complex brain. He’s probably trying very hard to keep it hidden.

‘Would you like me to sign it in blood too?’ Sarcasm because I have annoyed him but there’s not a whole lot he can do about it. He starts tapping the bar with his thumb, a little frustrated tell that informs me I am under his skin already and his temper is fraying.

‘If you want, or a pen would suffice, but I know you like being dramatic for effect.’ I’m not playing ball and backing down for his moods this time—Sassy all the way. Camilla will be proud of me. The girl he broke isn’t here anymore and she has no intention of ever letting him do that again.

I may be stupidly walking back into his world against every ounce of sense inside of me, but this time I know what, and who he is, and exactly what he is capable of and I won’t be burned twice. Alexi has another thing coming if he thinks I’m the same weak idiot who poured her heart out at his feet and tried to end her pain in the worst possible way. I don’t love this man anymore, so he has no hold over me.

‘We done? Finished tying me up in demands? Stripping me for all I have?’ He sounds sulky, proper little boy in a bad mood, and for the first time in a long time I feel smug about his tone of voice. A smile curling across my lips unintentionally and I have the urge to giggle at his behaviour.

‘Stroppy much! I may need a wage advance to sort out a wardrobe and such. I got robbed after all. If you hadn’t put me in a position where I had to sell all that I owned I wouldn’t need to buy more, so pay up Carrero … I blame you for my catastrophic outcome.’ I have my game face back on, confident when faced with sulky. Even If I don’t really feel it, but my new rule is to never let him in again to see beyond this bravado.

Alexi ponders my face for a moment before leaning back and pulling out his wallet from his inner jacket, sliding out a black credit card and holds it out to me without hesitation. I blink at it, and then him, and do a double take at just how easily this one was to get out of him. I shrug with one shoulder, internally surprised and a little smug about this victory too. He isn’t even going to argue on this point and I fully intend to exploit him this way while I am on a roll. I feel like he owes me and I have no qualms in spending HIS money.

He cost me everything and it’s a small price to pay in return.

‘I hope the hair is on that list … brown isn’t your colour,’ he adds as he watches me tuck it into my bra at the side of my left breast, his eye lingering on the cleavage I exposed in doing so. I ignore it, and he quickly averts his eyes to scan my hair instead, which is in a bedraggled ponytail and I have to agree. I hate this hair; it’s why it spends its life tied up and looking like a birds nest.

‘I didn’t have the funds for the Camilla upkeep, Dahling, but don’t worry, red has always been my colour and will be one of the first things I spend your money on. Nice to know you agree.’ I wink, a good old Walters trait and smile cattily, falling easy into my old role and rooting out the mannerisms. It feels great to air them confidently.

I too perch an elbow on the bar and lean into it while still facing him, finding it ridiculously easy to fall back into old behaviours now I am back here. I missed being this girl, she’s the real me.

‘It’s definitely your colour, and I miss it. The limit is ten grand, let me know when you need it paid and I’ll do it. Let’s call it business expenses; I need you to look like the hostess, not a waitress. Buy whatever you need to bring her back. It’s Camilla I’m paying for … Not Meghan!’ Alexi gets up and makes a move to walk past me, stopping when he gets level and turns to me so we’re facing, even if he towers over me in flats.

‘Meghan sadly died earlier today. When her ex-boss’s nose met the base of a very heavy pot, and I quit before he fired me.’ I get a little inkling of pride when I say it and can’t help smiling wider when he breaks into an unexpected smile too. A real one, dimples and all.

‘You did what?’ He half laughs, half questions me and I just shrug, a moment of genuine pleasantness between us.

‘The creep wouldn’t keep his hands to himself. Take note, New York … I learned how to finally deal with men and wandering hands; would be a shame to scar that pretty nose of yours too.’

Alexi stops smiling and that hint of overprotective and possessive psycho flickers over him instead. I know it too well and it sobers my moment of cheer. He hates people touching what is his, even if he has agreed that I won’t be.

He seems to stop and think for a moment, a struggle to control those stormy facial tells he has going on so very subtly and then snaps himself back to deadpan, something in his head clearly clicking into place. A decision made, no doubt.

‘I have to go get some work done upstairs; I’ll leave you to it.’ His tone is tight, borderline angry, eyes scanning me again and, in this second, I really want to be able to read that face and know exactly what he is thinking. Being this close he makes it hard to breathe and I should maybe make it clear from now on he should always stay five feet away at all times, for my own mental state.

I know he’s probably working out what punishment he should exact on Joe and I honestly do not care. Joe’s not my problem anymore and Alexi isn’t either. This club is my focus and as long as whatever he does stays away from me and these four walls, he can do whatever he wants. He won’t just let it slide that Joe touched me … just like I know deep down he probably has men scouring the streets for the yobs who robbed my apartment. I know that side of him all too well but I no longer want to know about it. Be it some kind of responsibility to protect those he employs or something else, I’m done giving it brain space.

‘I want some time to look this place over, make a list of things that need doing anyway before I head up to MY new apartment and take a nap. You can tell your tramp to call the guests and the escorts and cancel them all for the next week. Should be her that takes the shit for that, seeing as she is why it’s being shut.’ I call after him as he walks confidently towards the inner hall door and I watch him go, eyes following lines of his body and try not to check out his arse when it’s facing me. He always did have a nice butt.

‘You can tell her to do it yourself, she’s due here in twenty minutes. Feel free to tell her she now answers to you even though I am back. I don’t have time for her.’ He throws me a sort of smile, as though he knows in that statement, I’ll get some evil joy. I just smile back with a matching one. Two devils together sometimes, us two. I try to ignore the moment.

Alexi doesn’t seem that bothered that his toy is about to get her marching orders and I wonder if he is still sleeping with her. It has been four months after all, and he isn’t known to stick with one girl for long. I doubt she is still gracing his bed; I know him better than that. She too lost her usefulness no doubt, or became too easy and not any fun anymore. Not that I care or want to think about who he is sleeping with. It’s none of my business.

‘I will. It’ll be my pleasure.’ Full Camilla charm back on show and it earns me a lingering look before Alexi walks off, stopping as he gets to the end of the corridor and looks back at me with a changed expression.

‘I’m happy you reconsidered my offer. You belong here.’ It’s all he says and despite myself, I can’t help the little tingle of emotion that runs through me. Hating myself immediately after he wanders out, and push it down deep pulling on that stubborn head and remind myself that no matter what … I won’t soften towards him or let him back in.

I am immune to his shows of charm and caring. I know they are always fake.

Besides, that ship has sailed.

This is business only!