The Carrero Contract - Selling Your Soul (Mafia Romance) novel Chapter 158

“I don’t know. I think it’s best to assume you are not in the clear. From this moment on, you won’t be anywhere I am not if it can be helped. I don’t want you on the club floor until I know what’s going on and why. You are exposed down there, and when it’s dark and crowded, all it takes is one moment with the wrong guy in the shadows. I can’t lose you.”

My heart sinks at the thought of being a prisoner in this apartment once more, but what can I do. Spies everywhere and down there I’m too accessible on a busy night. He’s right. Security would need to babysit my every move; all it would take is a minute. A poisoned drink, an injection, or even a blade to the right part of my anatomy. These are the means these people use and they have the courage to go after someone in a club on a busy night. They already tried once.

“Santagato, he came to you for help … so it’s definitely not him, or this Carmichael?” I’m almost choking on the words but asking questions is all that is keeping me from a full-blown freak-out.

“No. We have a sit-down tomorrow afternoon, all five families. Whoever this is, they are not known to us. I think someone is moving into the city and trying to display a powerful front. Getting to us close to home, showing they have balls, the means and insider knowledge. This seems a lot like someone trying to make a mark before they move into my territory.” Alexi’s grip on my hand loosens as he turns it over and seems to inspect my dainty fingers in his, running his index finger down the small thumb against his larger one and measuring my small hand in his larger one.

I’ve never understood the mechanics of the old Italian code, but I know that certain things are more of an inconvenience than a declaration of war. Targeting the women who hold no value; Alexi is right. It’s not a call to start a war, it’s an effort at saying ‘Look how cocky and well placed I am. You should consider me worthy’. Someone is trying to piss on their property and show dominance.

I curl up against him instinctively, like a child in need of reassurance, forgetting why I’m even mad at him anymore when my brain is swirling with something this serious and this real. A threat and one aimed at me. It has just dawned on me that the attempted kidnapping was a fail and they might not be done with me yet if Alexi is one of the men on their hit list. Considering how things are between us now, then I would be a very good weapon against him.

He cares … therefore it would be highly effective to throw him off his game. Even I know it would fuck him up if I died.

I tried that, and he admits he panicked and hauled me to a hospital where he stayed by my side until he knew I was ok. If I died, I can’t even imagine what he would do.

Shit

“What do we do now?” I sound feeble, weak-voiced and afraid; he slides an arm around me, pulling me up against him so I can lay my head on his chest and he leans his chin on top of my crown. Close and safe, everything less terrifying when I’m in his arms. Less likely to hyperventilate or cry, or curl into a ball and hide under the sofa.

“We act carefully. You stick with Jackson no matter what and whenever I can, I will have you with me. My apartment is like Fort Knox and has live-in security, a housekeeper and a gardener there all the time. We should think about moving you there and just play safe until I know more.”

I look up, blink at him again, this time in referencing a gardener when he clearly said apartment. A stupid thing to catch on but my head isn’t exactly following a logical thought pattern in my weird shocked state.

I have never heard of any billionaire penthouse apartments which had need of a gardener before, but I curl up again and let it slide, assuming he is making some weird, vague joke. Alexi has an odd sense of humour at the weirdest of times. I don’t even stop to ponder the fact he said he wants to move me to his own home. It’s unimportant and just a measure to keep me safe.

“I have to go for my nail appointment tomorrow morning, it’s a busy salon and the only time they can see me for a month. I can’t cancel, Alexi. My nails are badly in need of an infill. I have other appointments too. I can’t just up and leave here like that, this is my home and my job.”

I’m rambling.

I know it’s such a stupid thing to be worrying about, but all this could be for nothing and last months. I can’t let myself look shit because we are on some sort of code red, and I will go insane with only walls as a view and nothing to occupy my time with. Alexi will stop fancying me if my hair gets three-inch roots and my nails look like I have been gardening in his imaginary whatever without a shovel … trowel? I don’t even know as I have never tended plants in my life.

Okay, so I’m kind of losing my shit.

I pull myself out of his arms to twist and turn and look at him, placing a palm on his chest to keep myself upright and he runs his fingers up my wrist and arm until his hand cups my face gently. Soothing me instantly and I return to calmer, less erratic thoughts. He pulls me close and kisses me softly on the mouth, stilling my manic panic.

“Then Jackson is with you every second of the appointment. He’s ex-military, highly trained and won’t let anything happen to you. I can meet you after, as I still have plans that we never got around to. I’m not done with convincing you to stay with me.”

I blanch. Jackson hardly seems like a stealth weapon, but then I guess he must have hidden talents if Alexi trusted him to be my shadow all this time. I guess I never even connected Jackson with anything terrifying because to me, he is an oversized puppy dog; Alexi would never have chosen him if he wasn’t the best at protecting me, now that I think about it. Of course, he would choose his best because he loves me, but I just cannot see it.

“So, until future notice, I have to live up here and not work? How the hell am I going to survive that? I don’t do being caged up and bored very well. This may kill me all by itself.”

Alexi’s heavy sigh matches mine, and he brushes the hair back off my face in that affectionate little way of his. Another reminder of yesterday and I know I’m completely lost, back under his spell.

“I’m sure we can find something to fill your time. Use this temporary phase to spend time together.” He pulls me into his lap properly so I end up straddling him, stretching my dress, which luckily has a high Lycra content or else I would be billing him for a replacement. I nuzzle down comfortably on top of his strong, wide thighs, fully aware that this could be an ultimate horn pushing position if I wriggled enough, but he strokes my face instead and all thoughts of sex flutter away, doused by trepidation.

His body and mine seem to fit together so naturally like this, but it doesn’t move the heavy weight of anxiety from deep within me. Even if I do automatically check him out with both eyes and hands, smoothing over his shoulders and hook behind that tanned tattooed neck. Coming to rest on the eyes of the devil and finding only peace.

“Hmm.” I don’t sound convinced but deep down I know that this is inevitable.

Women are dead. It may be a coincidence, or it may not. Either way, I have no choice but to let him do what he does best. Protect me in any way he sees fit. Trust his instincts and obey him for once. He has never steered me wrong in the past when it was for my protection. I can rely on him for that.

“Let’s go to bed.” Alexi breaks into my thoughts, a wave of exhaustion overtaking that handsome face and he runs his hands up my sides and under my arms to lift me off his lap, the touch tickling me, so I flinch and giggle involuntarily.

“Together?” It’s out before my brain engages, and as he pulls me with him to a standing position he sweeps in and floors me with a semi-passionate kiss. That stubbly face and warm lips devouring me immediately and pushing all refusals far away. Moaning lightly with the overwhelming sensations he ignites any time his lips meet mine. Kissing me senseless. He pulls back but keeps me close, a hand on my jawline, his nose pressed to mine as we share air and space, inhaling how good he always smells.

“Why not? I like sleeping beside you. It feels right and makes me happy.” He doesn’t wait for my answer, turning me and tugs me with him dominantly, abandoning tea and coffee as the machine percolates in the background and he leads me to his room instead. No hesitation when he knows what he wants. My dominant pushy arsehole of a man.

I wouldn’t really change it if I’m being honest.

“You know I still don’t want to …” I pause by his door, tugging back to stop him as we near the room. Nerves rising inside me as I eye up the dark interior and that black sheeted bed that has seen plenty of action. The tremor of doubt still inside me.

“I promise, I’ll keep my hands to myself. I just want you beside me. It’s been a long day and you have a way of making me forget everything.” He leans in slowly and gives me another soft kiss on the mouth, this time grazing warm firm lips against mine in a feather-light burst of eruptive tingles, silencing my doubts, and then gently pulls me into the room before breaking away.

I don’t object and let him lead the way.

I’m not over my irritation from earlier but the lure of sharing his bed and sleep is calling me, knowing the sense of secure and safe he gives me is more powerful than the tug of being naked with him. There is no sense in denying myself that kind of completion as I already know I’m weak as hell when it comes to this man.

I mean, I was contemplating leaving the bugger until he came home and touched me. I really have no willpower against him.

I’m pathetic.

My morning starts out quiet and weirdly calm. Alexi is gone when I wake up, but the little note he left propped on his empty pillow, informs me he is downstairs working in the building today, until his meeting later.

The little note I may have held and pondered over for far too long. Tracing the neat script writing and the little out of character kisses at the end. Heart all butterflies and stupid teen girl feelings coursing through my body. Feeling all sorts of goofy and smiley, mood instantly sunshine with something so basic.

Mush is becoming a permanent mood for me when it comes to this man.

Just the simple act of being considerate and I’m a pathetic puddle of icky goo. He didn’t want me to wake up alone and think he had once again abandoned me after a night of curling up and sleeping in his arms. He wanted me to wake up and know that he wasn’t far away and left me sleeping while he had work to do. The guy really is trying to be someone I could love and have faith in.

Last night we didn’t talk much. Just curled up in bed in underwear and held onto each other after the initial small talk and awkwardness of getting into it. Cuddling, staring at the stark darkness while he played with my hair and told me how happy he was that I was in his bed. It felt serene, peaceful and cosy. Entwined limbs and gentle caresses. It felt right and safe.

He kissed my temple when he sensed my breathing became heavy and even as drowsiness hit, and then I drifted off with my head on his chest so quickly it was insane. Completely forgiving him for his behaviour earlier that day.

Waking to his note made sure yesterday is a distant memory.

Morning Beautiful, I couldn’t sleep in with you, but I will be downstairs in the office when you wake. Come see me when you are up, break up my mundane day with a little British sexiness and that smile.

Lexi xx

Alexi really is different this time.

He even used my version of his name as a sign-off. A shortened habit I somehow naturally started using, and it’s becoming the version which rolls off my tongue before his full name does. I don’t know why. Maybe because it’s softer, cuter and somehow more personal having my own version of his name. Something that makes him mine. Like he calls me Cam. Even though everyone else in the building keeps it at a full Camilla. I have stopped noticing that I say it and only tend to use Alexi when he pisses me off.

Maybe getting closer and giving this a chance might be easier than I thought it would.

Looking divine in a fitted shift dress and silky straight hair, I wander down at midday, feeling weirdly upbeat considering last night’s conversation about Santagato. I took my time, giving myself deliberate space to get ready even though I was itching to go find him and see him as soon as I woke up. I refrained, held myself back and mentally gave myself a stern talking to.

I have watched girls for years throw themselves at men and run after them like sad little puppy dogs. I won’t be that girl. I may love him, but he has a lot to prove and I have to fight myself tooth and nail not to forget that when I’m being smothered with charm and sexy affection. It’s so easy to let it all go and take him at face value when he is being an adoring man who leaves me wake-up notes.

Need to remind myself this is only part of the picture and I must see all of him before I commit to anything. I have to see him mad at me, hell-bent on punishment.

I dressed formally again with less full-on sassy, and a little of my reserved and understated today. Get the lift to the office floor with my mind on one thing and nothing else.

Seeing him.

From the second I opened my eyes it’s like I could feel him on the floor below and was being drawn to go there. I miss him, even though he hasn’t left. I need to occupy the same space as he is to feel settled again.

I know I will be banned from the lowest floors as soon as doors open but until then I still have the run of my own building. I won’t let cabin fever set in if I don’t have to and fully intend to utilise my daytime freedom. The club is out of bounds when not open, so I’m sure I’ll be safe to roam around until it does.

Alexi is in the office with Mico when I get down there; both dressed in sportswear, black of course, a shock of shocks.

They’re really not adventurous about moving into any great deal of colour outside the monochrome of black, grey and white in most of their outfits.

Both are looking fresh and showered as they lean over the side desk and pour over papers while mumbling to each other in quiet tones. Hushed bookends who are so very similar from behind. From here they sound identical, also Italian. I realise they’re not even speaking English as I pass and throw them both a quick amused glance, checking out Alexi’s pert and toned arse in his sweatpants and give him a ten for sexiness. Okay, maybe a twelve.

They are both so focused on what they are doing; they don’t hear me or see me come in.

“Afternoon gentleman.” I interrupt sweetly, smiling merrily at them, wander in and head for the main desk. It’s obvious he has been sitting there as papers are strewn on the surface and the seat is out and facing the side as though he has just got up. I go for it, about to stake my claim in my jovial upbeat mood, knowing this tug of war over whose desk it is won’t end soon.

I’ll show him who is boss today. It’s all mine.

“Hey!”

I jump as a warm strong grasp clamps my wrist and I’m tugged around, almost toppling me from my shoes into Alexi. He hits me with a kiss so fast I don’t see it coming. Left reeling for a moment, teetering, he rights me with a steadying arm around my waist, squeezing me close so we are nose to nose and leaves me breathless. It’s a chaste pressing together of lips but it does major funny things to my insides on every level. Squishy toys come to mind and small toddler chubby fingers gripping them.

“That was a rather aggressive manoeuvre.” I point out with an impulsive giggle; Mico is watching us from where he is standing with a hint of amusement on his face. It’s not that I have never had an audience before, but I’m aware of his presence. A little too aware and it makes me glance by Alexi’s sexy smile to check that Mico isn’t staring at us.

“You walked by me without a hello, sooo. Hello.” Alexi’s smile is of the 1000 kilowatt today as he tilts in for a second kiss, but I know we’re being watched and turn away from him quickly. Face reddening suddenly as embarrassment floods me and I try to avoid looking at either man. Losing my cool, instant awkwardness and I stare at my feet as I try to unravel myself from him.

I have never been shy, God knows there was no room for it in my life, but suddenly, being watched while Alexi is being cute and intimate feels odd. I feel like we are performing, or under a microscope somehow. The scrutiny is heavy.

He glances back at Mico after being rejected with my invasive response and sighs. Sensing why and checking to see if his cousin is in fact watching. He’s not. It’s my paranoia.

“She’s shy. Who knew?” He points out to his buddy in an attempt at humour, covering what sounds like tiny disappointment in his voice and I wriggle to get free, annoyed he kept a tight grip on me when I tried to escape.

“So I see.” Mico smiles our way, over his shoulder and moves to turn around so he is fully facing the other way. Obviously trying to make me feel comfortable, like the good egg he always is.

“Maybe she just doesn’t like you.” I butt in sarcastically at Alexi and move quickly to get out of his reach while he is distracted. Sliding his arm off me as he goes to lasso me again and getting a frown in response with my quick dodge. I duck and step away.

“She does, she just won’t admit it yet. Needs me to work harder.” He replies with a faultless smile, directing his gaze at me again, following my movements and seems unfazed by me avoiding him. He is in a better mood this morning and it’s a little strange considering how stressed he seemed last night. I’m not used to him being this full-on when in company though. I guess as it’s Mico he isn’t refraining from a show of affection.

He is grinning like a Cheshire cat at me again and has more of a Gino aura around him that changes the whole atmosphere of the room. That boyish, laid back manner of his brother’s. He seems way too chilled and Mr Smiley.

“Why are you so perky and joyful, anyway?” I deflect, hoping a change of topic will give me some breathing space. Although he hasn’t stopped watching me like a hawk and is still very close to where I’m trying to get to the desk to sit down.

“Why not? I woke up with a beautiful girl in my bed, sun in the sky and a billion dollar increase to my bank account. It’s a good day.” He shrugs and moves to follow me to the seat I’m rushing for, obviously not done with me yet.

I don’t even falter at the mention of that much money. I know recently he had some corporate deal in the making and the payoff was huge. His company bringing in more revenue all over and a nice fat bonus as the CEO. A billion dollars might not be an exaggeration. It’s something I’m slowly getting used to in his world. That to him, thousands of dollars are an hourly pay rate.

Alexi isn’t just lord of the crime world; he is also a shrewd businessman with legal corporate dealings of his own and many more he has an interest in purchasing. Best of both worlds.

I never understood why they still follow arms and drugs in and out of the country when he can make a killing in other ways. I guess when a family has been built on and thrives on crime, then it’s hard to let it go. The reputation and dangerous edge make him more worthy and less likely to be screwed over.

God knows.

Carrero was one of the original Mafia families from Sicily and the roots run deep. Tradition and reputation are not something they like to kill. I’m sure it doesn’t hurt when investors are too scared to rock the boat or deny him anything, either.

“I guess those are all good reasons.” I slide into the chair, but he comes to perch his butt on the desk right in front of me, making it clear I’m not getting away from his attention. He can be like a child sometimes. He wants your full undying focus on him, and you have no say until he gets bored. A lift of the hand and he trails his fingers across my cheek delicately, igniting goosebumps and that fluttering sensation in my belly. I push them away, annoyed at myself for reacting, and frown at him, uncomfortable with not being alone when he is showing this side. I make myself busy with looking for papers in the drawers for the stock take I was doing a couple of days ago and try to appear normal. Acting like I didn’t come down here with the sole purpose of seeing him. Even if I did.

“What’s wrong? Are you still pissed from yesterday? I thought you were over that?” He asks softly, a little tinge of hurt concern in his tone, slightly strained, soft, this time at my batting him away and I glance towards Mico as an answer. Eyes flickering on his huge form, who has his back to us while he reads the papers on the desk, and then back to what I’m doing. I know Alexi is master eagle eyes of body language and hints, so he should understand my silent message.

I don’t know why I’m finding this unsettling to have him here when Alexi is being sweet. I guess deep down it’s because Alexi being soft makes me more so, and it’s a vulnerability I don’t like people seeing. It's ok for Alexi to see it … he’s Alexi. It’s not okay for anyone else to see me at my weakest. Getting behind my wall and knowing I can be human and can be tender and loving too, for the right man. It’s not an act or a play for something I want. It’s genuine, and I don’t want to feel watched.

“He knows you have a heart Cam, it’s not a shock to him. He was always fighting your corner and reminding me you were vulnerable.” Alexi answers, reading me a little too well. My cheeks flush with how dumb it sounds out loud and I continue to pull open drawers and avoid his gaze on me. Startled though that Mico saw that much when I tried so hard to stay strong.

“Here, here. Sassy but fragile at times. You don’t have to hide from me, Camilla.” Mico chimes in across the room glancing at me with a handsome smile, a nod that is meant to reassure me before he turns and is back reading the paperwork in front of him. Giving us space in his own way. I just fix my gaze on his wide back for a moment and ignore Alexi eating into the side of my skull with those wolfish eyes.

“I know … it’s just …” I almost whisper it, feeling foolish.

“You’re worried people will see you as soft and no longer respect you. That they might think they can mess with you.” Alexi finishes my sentence for me, and I exhale heavily without really confirming that is exactly what it is. Mico knows me as tough and sassy. He hasn’t seen me go to mush and love hearts when Alexi showers me with his softer side. The raw, vulnerable part of me that comes out and I know she’s an easy to target to crush when out in the open like that. Not that Mico would, but it’s just I’ve never let my guard down the way I do with Alexi, for anyone. I don’t want others to see it. I don’t want them to know that my heart beats at all. That I can be wounded like any other mortal girl. It’s why I run when I’m afraid. So that people don’t get a chance to inflict more pain when I’m already low.

“In my defence. I saw it all along.” Mico turns again and flashes me a wink this time that makes me feel stupid for reacting like this. He has always had my back, and he figured out my feelings for Alexi even before I did. I need to learn to trust him too. He has never left me doubting his intentions and he’s rooting for his cousin and me to make this work. If anyone would be happy to see us growing closer, then it would be him. He has given us space and quiet support these last few days. Kept out of the way and left us to have tender moments while with him without imposing.