The CEO’ s second choice novel Chapter 64

　　Elena

　　“I believe in you, Elena. Not too long now.” Marcus, my physiotherapist, urges me on while I do my leg exercises. It has been close to four months since the accident and I can walk on crutches, but the biting cold of winter in London has made it difficult. The pain when I wake up in the morning is dull but bearable and nothing anti-inflammatories could not fix, although I tend to not take them as much due to my weak disposition. What else can I do but grin and bear it?

　　I know that this is necessary for me to walk again but damn it.

　　You would think the physio would hurt more, but it’s the sessions with my therapist that do. I have been weaned off my anxiety medication and he’s placed me on a light antidepressant. The reason for this was that I realised I was slowly getting addicted to the anxiety medication. I popped one whenever a wave of anxiety hit and it was happening too often to count. My therapist praised me for recognising my addictive habit and helped me work through the weaning off stage. Gosh, it was difficult, but it was worth it. My head has never felt more clear.

　　Today was a bit easier. Marcus is happy with my progress and I can take a few steps without my crutches now. I think it’s more fear that was holding me back from walking again. Isaac and Sebastian have been my constant support through this, and I swear I was doing a hundred times better than before.

　　Sebastian had a room in our villa constructed into a physio room and Marcus comes here three to four times a week for our sessions. Even my therapist gets paid to come here. My husband wasn’t risking anything after Eliana and Robert’s stunts, and I couldn’t blame him.

　　My session with Marcus ends and he helps me move to my wheelchair where I breathe out a sigh of relief and smile, “Thank you, it was a tad easier today.” I say and take a sip of my water bottle. He returns my smile and nods, “Another month or two and you won’t need to use those crutches anymore,” he says. I think back to the days I took walking for granted and sigh wistfully. I miss my heels and thigh-high boots and WALKING. Gosh. At least it won’t be long now.

　　I see Marcus out and walk out onto our terrace. I never appreciated the quiet and the view around me back when I was a student. In fact, I took a lot of things for granted back then, including my health and my marriage. Things would be a lot different now if I didn’t have this accident, especially my relationship with Aaron. I wouldn’t be holding him closer every day, kissing him more and strengthening our bond, no I would be busy with an assignment for school or submitting a book report here and there. My family would be getting the back burner to my dreams, and I only just realised how selfish that made me.

　　My career could still flourish, but for now, I want to be a mother to my firstborn and a better wife to Sebastian. I think they deserve 100% of my love and attention.

　　***

　　“Are you sure you want to do this, Elena?” Isaac asks me for the tenth time as we enter the gates. “Yes, if I don’t do it now, it will haunt me forever,” I respond with the same line again and stare up at the walls of HMP Bronzefield. One year later and Anabelle still runs through my mind; what did I do to deserve her ire except be her friend? I loved her as a sister, and yet she hated me. I needed to know before I went crazy.

　　We leave our personal belongings at the front desk and get escorted to the room where Anabelle would be waiting. I used my last name to get an open room with her and my bodyguards would be inside with me, along with Isaac. My brother still wanted to strangle her, but I asked him very nicely to behave himself today… Would he though?

　　We come to a stop outside a glass room and I see her. The blonde hair that used to cascade down her back in curls was now tied up in a harsh bun, so her features were even sharper than before. The door opens and I brace myself. “Ana,” I call out and see her entire body stiffen at my voice. She slowly turns her head around and her eyes widen when she sees me standing there. “Elena?” Her voice cracks when she speaks and I nod, walking around and taking a seat opposite her. I had a slight limp to my step now, so I no longer walked with a graceful swagger.

　　She eyes me with a questioning gaze. “What are you doing here?” Isaac takes my hand under the table and nods. I find my strength through my only family left and smile. “I know you probably do not want or deserve it, but I am here to say I forgive you for everything you’ve done to me. You probably don’t deserve it because your actions could have killed me and my child, and I am not here to absolve you of your sin or crimes. I forgive you because I understand how you felt and what drove you to do the unthinkable, but the difference between you and me is that I never felt the need to do anything about my jealousy.”

　　Looking back, I know I always felt jealous of Eliana and the love she used to get from everyone. The only attention I ever received from my parents was when they reprimanded me for one thing or the other. It still hurts that my mother and I never sorted out our differences, but I will learn to live with it and not allow it to bring me down. There’s a lot I have learned from the way she parented me that I wouldn’t know now were I brought up as a spoilt heiress.

　　“Why would you feel jealous of anybody? You are perfection personified.” She says with the roll of her eyes and scoffs at my apology, but I only smile at this and shake my head. “No, you’re wrong. For many years my mother belittled me and compared me to my sister, who I used to think was perfection personified. I was constantly called fat and ugly and made to feel second rate, when in fact I wasn’t. My marriage to Sebastian was out of convenience, but we ended up falling in love in the end. I worked hard to keep my grades up at Uni and barely scraped by the first two semesters. Oh, I am also on anti-depressants. So, no Anabelle, I am not perfect but that’s fine with me.” I say, concluding the rant that has been weighing heavy on my heart and stand up to walk to the door. “By the way, thank you for swapping out my contraceptive pills. Without your meddling, I would never have fallen pregnant and have the most precious and beautiful child ever.”

　　I walked out holding my head high with my brother at my side and knew my days would be better now. Yes, I did not receive the reaction I had hoped, but I said what needed to be said and now I would be facing my biggest fear.

　　Our eyes meet through the window, and I see her gasp. Even in prison scrubs, Eliana was still as beautiful as anything. Isaac opens the door for me and I stop him before he enters with me, “I need to do this alone, love. I’m sure you understand.” I say and his eyes widen, but he nods and closes the door when I enter the room and sits down opposite the person I used to love above all else. “What are you doing here, Elena?” She asks with downcast eyes. I placed my fingers on the table in front of me and noticed that she remained shackled. “I’ve come to see how my sister is doing,” I responded to her, and her eyes met mine again in confusion. “Your sister tried to kill you and almost succeeded. Why would you care how I was doing?” She asks with a straight face and I feel the emotions bubble to the surface, emotions I had shoved down deeply instead of dealing with them through my therapist.

　　A tear falls down my cheek, and I swipe it away before it betrays my feelings. “Because once upon a time you used to mean a lot to me. You were my confidante, my best friend, and the only one who loved me for who I was. You accepted my rebellious ways and encouraged my dreams. You’re my sister and you killed our parents and tried to kill me, but that doesn’t stop me from loving you. Nothing I do helps, Eliana. Believe me, I’ve tried. So whatever you did to stop your love for me, please tell me so I can use it too.” I say through tears and a heavy heart.

　　Then she does something that breaks my heart even further; she cackles.

　　“You honestly think I meant everything back then? Do you honestly think I loved you? I resented you, Elena! You were the bane of my existence, the free one, the rebel who could do whatever she wanted and got away with the most. You were the reason the Wiltshire name got entrusted to me, and I have hated you forever for it. Mother focussed more on my life than yours. You had free rein over anything you set your heart to. Me? I had my life planned for me right up to how many children I would have. Did I love you, Elena? No, I hated your very existence so deciding to kill you was a three-second decision.” She sits back and looks down at her nails, picking at an imaginary blemish.

　　I look at her and take in each of her toxic words, letting them swirl around my heart and letting them sink in. Then I look at her, “Does saying that make you sleep better at night?” I say, and her head snaps up to look at me. She frowns. “Why would I lie about my feelings towards you, Elena? You’re the person I hate the most in this world and the only thing I am sorry for is not succeeding in killing you.” She says with venom, but the slight crack to her voice betrays her feelings. I smile and shake my head.

　　“Because you love me just as much as I love you and I think doing what you did killed you, but you’re just too proud and stubborn to admit it to yourself. I’m sorry that I drove you to try to kill me. I am still not sure what I did to make you go through with it, but I hope one day you could forgive me for being a terrible sister and not noticing your pain.” I say and get up from my seat. I walk over to her and stand behind her, laying a hand over hers and kissing her hair. She smelled like Eliana even though she’s been in prison for a year. “I forgive you, Eliana, and wish you nothing but healing,” I whisper my last words to her and walk away for what would be the last time. As soon as I walk to the door, I hear a sniff coming from her direction but don’t turn around, knowing what I had said would stay with her.

　　Isaac looks up as soon as I open the door and runs over to me, enveloping me in a hug and kissing my hair. “How did it go?” he asks as we walk out of the prison towards his Mercedes. I shrug, “I said what I needed to say, whether or not they accept my forgiveness doesn’t bother me.” I say, with a lighter heart and a clearer soul. He smiles and squeezes my hand. “You’re stronger than most people I know and I’ve met some of the toughest people out there. I’m so proud of you.” He says and kisses the back of my hand.

　　We got into his car and drove away from the people who tried to end the lives of me and my child, people who I just forgave and meant every word that came out of my heart; and I felt happy. Isaac sighs from his seat next to me.

　　“You know Sebastian is going to murder me for driving you here, right?”