The Player novel Chapter 29

Brielle

7:32 PM

To say that I was freaking out was an understatement.

After my encounter with Christopher on the stage, I promptly ran to one of the dressing rooms and 911 texted Sam to haul herself over here. I knew that Christopher probably thought I was crazy with how I exited, but I couldn't kiss him.

No matter how hard he tried, I couldn't bring myself to forgive him. I was a strong believer in second chances, but for some strange reason, I just couldn't bring myself to extend that same privilege to him.

I felt the anger I had for him dissipate while performing, and that may have scared me the most. If I was no longer mad at him, then how was I supposed to keep myself from forgiving him?

I shook the thought out of my mind. He was using me, and that is that.

"I stopped watching The Bachelor finale for this!" Sam said haughtily, stalking in. "So, this better be an emergency." She crossed her arms, waiting for an answer.

"Christopher's here." I said simply.

Her hands instantly dropped, and her face softened. If Sam was no longer mad at me for making her miss her favorite show, then I knew that my problem was bad.

"What happened?" she asked, sitting beside me on the tufted couch.

I let out a huff. I didn't even know.

"We leant in for the kiss and I couldn't do it."

Her head tilted slightly to the side. "Why? It's just for the dance."

I threw my hands up in frustration. "I don't know Sam! Throughout the dance I felt myself forgive him more and more, and I knew that if I kissed him I would take him back."

Sam paused, chewing on her lip, before finally whispering softly, "What would be so wrong if you did?"

My eyes grew wide. "Sam, how could you say that!"

"Just hear me out," she said, raising her hands defensively. "He seems like he's really sorry." As much as I wanted to cut her off, I let her continue.

"I've never seen you happier than when you were with him. You were just like you were before you started dating Derrick."

My jaw dropped. What was she talking about. She continued, sensing my shock.

"You didn't think that I noticed, but after you two broke up, something changed in you. You were closed off, almost like you were constantly afraid of something, so you never let anyone in."

"I just didn't want to get hurt again." I said softly.

She nodded her head. "I know. But in the process, you never allowed yourself to feel loved by so many amazing people. The only people that you talked to were me and Scott."

In a way, she was right. Looking back, I hadn't realized that to protect myself, I stopped myself from meeting new people. I stopped trying to make new friends. After having Derrick betray me, I figured that the less people that you trust, the less people that can cause you harm.

"But then Christopher came along, and before I knew it you were going to parties and breaking into football fields." She clutched me by the shoulders, forcing me to stare into her serious eyes.

"You were living your life again Brielle, and it was because of him. He opened you up again."

I scoffed. "Well, it turns out I was right in the first place. The first person knew that I let into my life broke me again." Some may say that my way of protecting myself was unhealthy, but no one could argue that it wasn't foolproof.

She let out a soft sigh. "But don't you think, just maybe, that it was worth it?"

I paused. I had never thought of it like that.

I knew that Christopher had caused me so much pain, but did the moments of happiness that we shared make up for that? When I looked back on us, would I have rather gone through both the happiness and the hurt, or never gone through it at all?

"Look, I'm not saying that you should take him back, that's your decision alone. I just think that you should hear him out, and then decide if you can truly find it in yourself to forgive him, instead of already deciding that you won't." A soft smile lay on her lips.

"I talked to him, and he truly is a good guy."

Now my brain was completely scrambled. If Sam thought that I should get back with him, then I had absolutely no clue what to do. I rubbed my temples, trying to prevent my oncoming headache.

Sam looked down at her phone before hopping off the couch. "I have to go if I'm going to get a good seat." She pulled me into a tight hug, nearly squeezing all of the air out of my lungs.

"You're going to do great today! Joffrey is going to be lucky to have you."

I felt myself tearing up. No matter what happened, Sam was always there. "I don't know what I would do without you."

Sam coughed out a laugh, her eyes growing watery. "You'd make terrible life decisions and I'd probably be living on the street," smiles stretched upon our faces. "We need each other."

I nodded my head. That was one thing that I knew for sure.

I laughed, wiping at my tears. "How come you never have any problems to tell me?"

She playfully rolled her eyes. "I have enough drama in my life from you alone."

When she left, I felt the familiar pre-performance jitters enter my body. The time was growing closer to my performance and I felt the urge to vomit from my nerves. I took a deep breath, knowing exactly what would calm me down.

I made my way to the wings of the stage and peeked into the audience from behind the curtain. My heart leapt when I saw the chair reserved for the Joffrey Scout occupied by a middle-aged brunette woman. Her face was stern and serious, and I felt my heart began to beat quickly. No doubt, she would be hard to please.

I averted my gaze to my intended purpose, the first row. My family always arrived early to sit front and center. It was a ritual for me to wave to them before performing. Every time I did, I always felt better.

Scott caught me peeking and waved his hand at me, a smile stretching across his face. I did the same, and instantly felt myself calm down.

I could do this.

As I was about to close the curtain, a movement behind Scott's head caught my attention.

An unknown hand was waving at me.

The culprit wore a black jacket, the shadow of the hood hiding the features of his face. When he took the hood off, I nearly choked from surprise.

Waving at me from behind Scott's unknowing head, was Derrick.

His face was badly bruised, and there was no doubt in my mind that Christopher had won their fight. I felt my lungs contract as the room began to grow smaller and smaller.

This couldn't be happening.

Scott's expression morphed into one of confusion as he watched my face fall, my once happy face now horror-stricken. He followed my gaze behind him and turned around to come face to face with Derrick. I saw his body visibly tense, but before I could see what happened next, I felt my body tearing itself away from the curtain and towards the dressing room on its own accord.

I seemed to be moving in a daze as I was unaware of what was happening around me. Faces that I once knew blurred as I struggled to breathe.

My hands grew numb. My legs trembled beneath me. I was heavy and light all at once.

I was surrounded by shapes, moving, but unrecognizable, their true appearance on the tip of my tongue but not yet there.

I was numb.

Suddenly, a pair of powerful arms swooped up beneath me, pulling me towards a warm, hard chest.

I didn't know who it was, but I leaned into them, accepting the comfort. They sat on the cold floor and placed me on their lap. Their fingers softly stroked my hair.

Even though I hadn't seen their face, I already knew who it was.

"Don't cry, I've got you." Christopher whispered, deftly wiping at my tears. "Just tell me what happened."