The Silent Alpha novel Chapter 43

 ***Talia’** 

Zane’s eyes flicker from side to side beneath his eyelids as he sleeps, his brows furrowed and his lips pressed together as if to hold back a scream for help.I hold my breath and watch him for a moment, listening to the sound of his breathing get faster and more haggard by the second.

He then grabs a fist full of the sheets, his entire body stiffening.

Wanting to ease his fears a little, I gently graze my hand against his cheek, Zane’s body relaxing visibly beneath my touch and his breathing slowly returning to normal.

I discovered his nightmares many nights ago when he suddenly woke up in a cold sweat, panting frantically as if he had just run a marathon.

Thinking me asleep, he slowly crawled out of bed and stepped out of the room to calm himself down before returning to bed.

He comforted himself in silence, unable to bring himself to cuddle with me.

It broke my heart to see him struggle to ask for help, leaving me to wonder if he feared I would reject him for needing me.

Since that first nightmare, I have been waking up earlier than normal to watch him sleep, guarding his dreams from whatever pain he’s holding in.

Touching him seems to help so whenever I sense his uneasiness, I roll over into his arms and lay my head against his chest until he wakes up.

The girls at the clinic also experience nightmares from time to time so as a group activity, we made dream catchers this past week.

Native Americans believe all dreams, good and bad, exist in the night air and dream catchers are meant to capture them.

Bad dreams get lost in the web dreamcatcher.

I made a dreamcatcher for Zane with silver string, beads, and feathers to match his silver wolf, but I’m a bit embarrassed to show it to him.

I’m not a crafty person and the dreamcatcher is a little crooked and not the most eye pleasing but giving Zane a gift I made with my own two hands both excites and terrifies me.I just hope he likes it.

Zane suddenly begins to stir beside me and I roll over into his arms to embrace him, inhaling his scent and pressing my lips against his bare chest.

Two nights ago, Zane started sleeping shirtless and while I can tell it still makes him nervous to show me his scars, I am beyond proud to see him face his own fears.

Besides...I find his scars sexy.

"Good morning, handsome,"

I murmur into his chest, Zane going very still.

When I look up, I’m greeted by a confused smile and some very flushed cheeks.

I did not know it was possible to be turned on by a blush, but every time his cheeks turn red, I feel a tightness in my core, one that can only be satisfied with him inside me.

"M-morning Ta-Talia,"

He stammers in a shy whisper as he wipes his eyes.I can tell he senses the scent of my growing arousal by the way his blush deepens and I decide to tease him a bit.

"You can smell me, can’t you?’" l ask, pecking his collarbone and his Adam’s apple.

"N-no," he murmurs, swallowing the lump in his throat.

"I-l mean y-yes," he quickly corrects himself when I give him a stern look.

"Are you going to do something about it?" I ask, biting my lip as I look up at him innocently pulling me onto his lap as he rolls over on his back.

A lump hardens in his boxers, my core tightening at the thought of him inside me.

I wait patiently for him to make the next move, however, wanting him to be more assertive with his needs and desires and I adjust myself to sit over his erection.

"Now what?" I ask, slowly gyrating my hips in a circle and resting my arms on his shoulders.

"What would you like to do to me?" I murmur, leaning forward to suck on his bottom lip.

He surprises me when he begins to push my shirt up my torso, stopping just below my breasts.

"I want y-you to t-take off y-your shirt," He blinks, looking at my belly button to avoid my teasing grin.

"A-and y-your th-thong," He adds timidly.

Pleased that he’s making an effort, I pull my shirt over my head, my n*****s hardening as the cool morning air brushes against them.

His eyes focus on the tattoo between my breasts, Zane once again swallowing the lump in his throat as he resists the urge to touch it.

He looks adorable as he tries to reign in his lust but I am determined to make him lose his sanity today.

Climbing off his lap and sitting between his ankles, I very slowly slide my thong down my thighs, my eyes observing his facial expressions as he watches me undress.

I raise my legs a little, Zane removing the thong from my ankles for me.

He then instructs me to sit on his lap again, this time with my back to his chest as I straddle him.His fingers timidly brush away the hair off my shoulder, his lips shyly grazing my bare flesh.

I lean my back against his chest, guiding one of his hands over my breast and squeezing it.

A little moan ripples up my throat, his other hand slowly sliding in between my thighs so that his fingers tease stroking the soft flesh.

Hoping to encourage him to finger me, I slide my hand over his and interlock our fingers.

"Have I ever told you how much I love your voice? How much I love the way you say my name just before you kiss me?" I murmur as I sway my hips against him.

"I love its richness, especially when you’re just waking up...Sometimes I think about your voice when I’m alone in the shower, imagining you whispering my name in my ear as you f**k me senselessly," I giggle, knowing his face is likely as a red as a cherry.

"I love when you moan my name," I add in a whisper, as if it is a secret only the two of us can share.

"Especially when you c*m inside me after losing all control.It’s the most delicious feeling knowing I am the only one who will ever make you moan my name." I turn my head to look at him, mesmerized by the beautiful brown eyes that stare back at me.

"T-Ta....Ta..Ta," he stammers, his words almost incoherent.

I change positions so that I am still straddling him but now facing him, his cheeks almost the shade of rubies.I gently hold his face in my hands and pull him closer.

"Ta-Li-Ah,"I murmur, gently nibbling on his lower lip.

"Go slow, baby.Take your time."

He swallows hard, his lips opening and closing as he grows anxious.

"Don’t be nervous," I whisper in his ear as I take his hand and slide it in between my thighs.

"Do you want to feel how wet your ‘good morning’ already made me?"

He audibly gasps when I push two of his fingers in between my folds, his favor, my slick pooling around him while the brown of his irises seem to darken almost to the color of his pupils.

Zane suddenly pushes me onto my back, propping up my legs and spreading them apart for him to access my now aching p***y.

He then lays on his stomach and wraps an arm around my thigh while his free hand spreads apart my lips.

I hardly have time to process what is happening when I feel his tongue plunge into my folds, my back arching instinctively against the sensation.

His tongue darts in and out of me in quick thrusts, my toes curling in pleasure.

"Oh f**k yes, Zane, just like that,"

I moan when he moves his tongue over my clit in a figure 8.

"F-fuck yes, baby.Just like that.Just like that!"

I cry out, my legs jerking and quaking with every flick of his tongue.I prop myself up on my elbows to watch him work, Zane’s eyes locking with mine as he eats me out.

When he closes his lips over my throbbing button, however, I damn near lose my mind, throwing my head back as the unbelievable feeling of ecstasy washes over me.

"F-fuck, Zane.Don’t stop! Don’t stop!" I plead as he sucks on my clit.

I feel myself on the verge of exploding when he suddenly pulls away, a soft whine escaping my lips.

"No wait-"

Before I finish my sentence, Zane flips me over my stomach, pushing me up on my knees so that my bare ass sits up in the air.I yelp when I feel him smack my right cheek, my c*m dripping down my inner thighs.

My skin tingles as he slides his hand up my spine towards my head, his finger gripping my hair.

He takes his tip and rubs it up and down my wet p***y, the I want him so badly.

"Mine," he growls, thrusting his thick shaft inside me.

I feel every inch of him fill me up to the brim, my fingers digging into the sheets of the bed for support as I tighten around him.

"Ah! Yes!" I cry into the mattress when he forcefully pounds into me.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!"

His hand still gripping my hair pushes my face into the mattress with every thrust, while his other hand grabs onto my hips.

A tightness fills my chest as I feel myself approach my climax, my legs turning to jelly the harder he pumps.

The sound of Kota’s voice and a knock at the door, however, robs me of my orgasm.

In the blink of an eye, I find myself sitting back on Zane’s lap with his fingers still between my slit but a small pool of my c*m now dripping down his hand.

"Mommy, are you awake?" Kota calls out, once again knocking on the door.

"Can I come in?" I look around the room in confusion, blinking furiously to make sure I’m actually awake.

Did! make that allup?  I wonder to myself when Zane suddenly gasps.

He looks completely mortified, his eyes wide in shock and his face beet red.

"What?" I ask before it hits me.

That was his fantasy...My entire body tingles with excitement.

"Zane..." I whisper.

"Is that really what you want?" I ask with Too embarrassed to respond, he slowly nods his head at me, my excitement reaching its peak.

"Mommy?" Kota calls out.

"Mommy are you there?"

"I’ll be right there Kota, hold on!" I call back, quickly leaning into Zane’s ear.

"One day...we'll get there," I murmur.

"I promise."

"**Zanet** 

I can’t believe you showed her my thoughts, I grumble as I put the last of the breakfast dishes away.My stupid wolf has been very pleased with himself all morning.

You should be thanking me.

Did you not see how excited she was? Grayson argues back.

She was soaking wet! Soaking wet and now expecting me to rail her like in my fantasy yI grumble.

‘’can Aardly touch her without panicking.I can’t...Zane, why do you get so nervous? Grayson asks with genuine curiosity.

What is holding you back? I have asked myself that question many times and the answer is always the same.I am so happy with her and I’m worried that I'm only one screw up away from losing her.

One wrong move and this beautiful fantasy will all fade away into a memory I will never get to relive.

Ugh, it's too early in the morning for me to get philosophical, Grayson mumbles.it’s almost noon, I reply, Grayson responding with a loud groan desires? He asks.

No...Has she ever punished you? No...I reply.

Has she ever lost her patience whenever you get stuck? No...

Does she go slow? He asks.

Yes...

Does she tell you what she likes and doesn’t like? Yes...

Does she talk you through things when you're lost? Yes.

Does she let you set your boundaries? Yes...

Do you realize who has the real issue here, then? Grayson asks, his voice softening when I don’t reply.

She does not expect you to be perfect for her, in fact she’s prepared for you to stumble and fail flat on your face.

I would have dropped your ass at this point if I were her, but she hasn’t because she thinks you're worth the trouble.

Hello!? Wake the f*"k up! She likes you, dude.

Someone in this world likes you, despite all your flaws.

She sees your scars and kisses them all, she hears your voice and actually fantasizes about it, she feels your touch and leans into it.

What more do you need to feel adequate? I know he is right, but I do not know how to make the intrusive thoughts go away.

They have always been there to laugh and jeer at me and remind me of my place.

As I close the kitchen cabinets and finish wiping the counter tops, I hear Talia and Kota come downstairs, both dressed and ready to go bowling.

A warmth spreads across my chest as I look down at little Kota who is dressed in a gray t-shirt and cargo shorts...

Just like me.

"He said and I quote, ‘I want to look like Daddy today," Talia explains when she notices my silence.

"I hope that’s okay.He refused to dress any other way so I gave in."

Unable to express his own excitement in words, Grayson yips and bounces like a puppy, his tail wagging furiously from side to side.

He kind of looks like us, Grayson chirrups.If You squint your eyes.

"Mommy, do we look the same?" Kota asks, running up to stand beside me.

Talia smiles at her son, but her eyes get a little misty and she turns away.

Afraid she may be upset, I tell Kota to find Agnes in her room so we can go while I comfort Talia.

"Sorry," she mutters when I come up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist.

"I just...Kota’s never had a Dad...and he was so excited to look like you.I-I just don’t want you to feel pressured into being his Dad.He’s a huge responsibility and if it’s too much, there’s no shame in walking away.You can walk away right now and I won’t blame you for it.He’s not your baby-"

Before she can say anything else, I turn her around and look her in the eyes.

"Mine," I say without hesitation.

"He’s mine." Talia only blinks at me, completely caught off guard by my words but I our pup.

"I-I didn’t… l didn’t have a D-dad gr-growing up...so I-I don’t k-know w-what to expect or w-what to do....But w-what I do know is th-that I-I love K-Kota,"

I murmur as I cup her cheeks.

"A-and I-I want to be in h-his li-life...so if-if y-you allow it, I-l would ve-very much l-love to be his D-dad."

"What about Grayson?" Talia whispers.

"Does he feel the same?"

Grayson does not hesitate to shove me aside and give his own response.

"Mine," he growls assertively before stepping back and giving me back control.

Talia nods quietly, processing this information.

"H-he...he’s mine, Ta-Talia.E-even if-if we have our own p-pup," I explain.

"K-kota will a-always be mine."

"I found Egg-ness!"

Kota cries as he runs down the hall while pulling poor Agnes along with him.She smiles giddily as the small boy drags her towards us.

"Can we go now, Zane?" He asks, stopping just in front of me.

I lift Kota into my arms and comb back his hair with my fingers, Talia wiping her eyes before Kota can see her tears.

"D-dad," I correct him.

"Y-you can call m-me D-dad."