The Silent Alpha novel Chapter 40

***Grayson*** 

I have been pacing back and forth for the past hour, all of my instincts urging me to just take command and do as I please.

I don’t know where Zane gets his self control from but I am dying over here! There’s a s*x goddess lying beside us, completely naked with her n*****s staring right at me, daring me to lick them while my human is comatose with an erection.

This i***t has another thing coming if he expects me to just sit back and look! Pssst....Hey! Hiss loudly, hoping to wake Zane up.

He only mumbles incoherently and I hiss even louder.

HEEYYY! Still, Zane remains fast asleep, my patience reaching its limit.

WAKE THE f**k UP! I shout, Zane’s eyes bursting open in fright as he nearly falls off the bed.

Verysmooth, I mutter as he barely manages to grab onto the headboard in time, Talia stirring a little in her sleep at his sudden movement.

What the f**k, Gray? Zane snaps, now completely awake.

Pleased to have his full attention, I sit down on my hind legs, my tail wagging back and forth.

I’m Aorny, I reply.

Rolling his eyes at me, Zane curls back up on his side, but I am not about to pass up this opportunity.

Not after last night I take control of his body, Zane protesting almost immediately as I sit on my knees and tentatively cup one of Talia’s breasts.

What are you doing? Zane hisses nervously, shoving me back and taking control again.I want to taste her gumdrop buttons! I snap, fighting to take control.

Stop it, Zane argues when I gain semi-control of his hand and squeeze Talia’s breast.

You're going to wake her up! That's the point!I reply sarcastically.

A little moan escapes Talia’s lips, Zane groaning in horror but our c**k twitching at the sound.

"Mmmmm,."

Talia sighs, her eyes fluttering open and looking up at us.

Zane gulps nervously, unable to move his hand from her breast.

Talia lowers her gaze along his arm until she sees his hand still cupping her boob, her n*****s hardening while goosebumps rise across her skin.

A little smirk forms on her lips but she does not say a word, patiently waiting for Zane to make the next move.

Squeeze it.

Squeeze it.

Squeeze it! I chant, hoping Zane might actually grow some balls and take charge.

He remains frozen like a deer in headlights, however, his mind filling with useless thoughts of self-loathing.

As I’m about to give him the pep talk of the century, Talia places her hand over his Zane’s hand trembling slightly.

"You know..." Talia smiles up at us.

"You're allowed to take charge too.Sometimes it’s nice to feel wanted..."

I can tell Zane is blushing by the way his heart is racing and I sigh knowing last night was probably going to be the first and only time we would ever have s*x.

I just wanted a titty, I sigh, resigning myself to no s*x today.

"B-but,"

Zane stammers, slowly moving his hand up to her throat, his thumb grazing the place where we are supposed to mark her.

"H-how do I...H-ow do I-l know you w-want me-me wo"

I have to say I am impressed that he’s brought up the subject without me having to and that he’s not letting her get away before she can give us an answer.

My gaze falls upon the markless spot on her neck and I fight the urge to impose my will on her and mark her already.

"I do want you," she argues, wrapping her fingers around his wrist.

"I just don’t want to be marked.I don’t have to be marked for me to be yours.Humans don’t mark each other and it's fine-"

"B-but I am n-not a hu-human," he argues, Talia glaring up at him.

"But I am," she replies.

"And we don’t mark each other for love." prepare his argument.

Humans do mark each other for love.

They marry, they take each other’s names, they wear rings, they give each other jewelry, they get tattoos.

Hell, they even give each other hickies! Marks take many forms, ours just happens to bind our souls together, but everyone leaves a mark on the person they love, be it physical or emotional.

"Look, I know that the mark is part of your culture and I respect that," she insists.

"But why can’t we just...be together? Why can’t we just be happy to have found each other without you having to mark your territory?"

Because you are not territory I snap, unable to see how that was a hard concept to understand.

A mark is more than just a physical claim of each other.

It’s emotional...spiritual! 

"I-I am a wo-wolf, Ta-Tal-ia," Zane argues.

"N-not a h-human.M-my m-mark means so-something to me."

"So what does it mean to you?" Talia asks, her head shaking in disbelief.

She takes a deep breath and exhales slowly, gently pushing Zane's hand away from her neck.

"My first mate marked me...and when I disappointed him, he took it all back.He stripped me of my title and rejected me because I couldn’t give him what he wanted...Did you know it only takes three days for a mark to fade?"

She props herself up by the elbows and wraps the sheets around her chest.

There’s a sadness in her voice as she speaks.

"It only took three days to break my soul so it could unbind itself from him....But it took me years to fit all the broken pieces back together again...only to realize some pieces are lost care about the meaning of your mark?" She asks quietly, forcing a cold smile on her face and shrugging at me.

"What difference does it make if you mark me when in the end you can just throw me away? I am a very disappointing mate and will inevitably fail to give you what you want-"

"I-I just w-want you!"

Zane snaps, his voice ragged with frustration.

"I-l just want y-you."

Talia stares at him in shock, her mouth slightly agape as if he had just said something revolutionary.

Zane’s mind quickly becomes muddled with thoughts and I try my best to calm him down.

Deep breath, hooman.

You have to tell her what a mark means to us or she will likely never back down, I explain to him, Zane’s thoughts only worsening for fear of messing up.

Why don’t you tell her instead? Zane asks nervously.

You are better with words.I'm not the one who brought it up, Imutter.

Besides, you need to learn to speak up for yourself.I can’t be the only one here with balls.

I don’t- Look at her! Isnap, Zane gazing down at our mate.

She's being so patient with you.

Trust that she will listen to you and if you have to repeat yourself, then do it.

Talk slowly if you have to, but don't pass up this opportunity to tell her how important she really is to us.Talia understands that he has more to say and does not rush him.

"I- I...ahem," he clears his throat, his hands shaking from the build up of the pressure to say something.

"I-I...I."

"Breathe,"

Talia whispers, inhaling slowly with him.

"Now let it out," she exhales.

They do this a few times until Zane’s thoughts finally slow down enough for him to process them.

His ears are bright red from embarrassment but I very quickly knock some sense into him.She had s*x with a 26 year-old virgin who can’t even masterbate properly.

We’re way past embarrassment rightnow ,I snicker.

Besides, she queefed last night.

She can handle a little stutter if we can handle a p**"*y fart.

My pep talk doesn’t seem to help but he gathers his thoughts and opens his mouth nonetheless.

"I-I ..ahem...I a-accepted a long time a-ago t-that I-I will never be g-good e-enough for my fa-father, t-that my p-pa-pack will ne-never know who-who its true Alpha is-is, t-that I will ne-never spe-speak right.My en-en-entire exist-tence has been full of ‘n-nevers’...but I re-refuse to let you be an-an-another ne-ver in my li-fe.For as l-long as I can re-remember, I have been f-fo-forced to hide eve-ry p-part of who I am.My n-name, my ti-title, my w-wolf, my po-powers, my every-thing! But I wi-will not hide y-you only pa-part of m-me that I w-want to show the w-world.Mar-Marking you is n-not about own-owning you or us-using you until you are no l-longer useful to me.It-It’s about sh-showing the rest of the w-world that I ha-have someone to li-live for, someone to lo-love for the rest of my li-life, someone to ch-cherish and pr-pro-protect from all the e-evils in the w-world, someone to sp-spend my eter-nity with."

He takes a moment to catch his breath, Talia slowly absorbing this information.

You're doing great, I encourage him.

Keep going...

"I-l don’t w-want to hide another p-part of myself because y-you, K-kota and my mom are the only beau-beautiful things in my life.I am n-not asking to ma-mark you now.I am si-simply asking for a ch-chance, a small ray of ho-hope that some-day in the fu-future, you will b-bear my ma-mark.I-Ij-just want a ch-chance.J-just one to sh-show you t-that I am n-not HIM."

He looks at her sternly and repeats himself.

"Be-because I am n-not HIM."

Talia turns her head to the side, avoiding his gaze to think over his words when a knock at the door startles us.

"Good morning Mommy,"

Kota chirps on the other side of the door.

"Uh-oh Mommy.The door is locked!" he gasps as he tries to turn the knob.

"Are you still playing horsey? Can I play with you too?"

Horsey? I cackle.

Is that what we were doing last night? Cuz Talia immediately sits up, swinging her legs over on the side of the bed.

"We'll talk about this later," she hisses at us, tugging her shirt over her head and pulling on her shorts.

"Put some clothes on and change the sheets," she instructs.

Zane scrambles to put on his shorts and t-shirt and begins to strip the bed, his cheeks flushing when he sees some little white stains on the fabric.

Tsk, tsk, I jeer, Zane telling me to shut the f**k up.

Talia lets Kota in, picking him up and kissing him good morning.

The little boy peers over her shoulder and looks up at Zane and I.

"What are you doing, Zane?" he asks as Zane puts on fresh sheets on the bed.

"Oh, umm,"

Talia hesitates for a moment before coming up with the dumbest excuse I’ve ever heard.

"Sweetie, Zane had a little accident last night,"

Talia chuckles, Zane’s eyes widening in shock.

"So we have to change the sheets." I beg your pardon? Igrowl, struggling to contain my petty demon inside.

"Uh-oh!" Kota gasps, cupping his cheeks.

"Zane went pee pee on the bed!"

Alright, that’s it! Ihuff.

Tell him I rearranged his mommy’s guts and she puked! I shout.Everywhere and many times! 

"M-Mommy farted on the b-bed,"Zane blurts out.

"And-and s-she le-left it all stin-stinky."

"I did not!"

She snaps with indignation.I shove Zane aside and momentarily take control.

This is personal.I make a loud farting noise in her face, Kota squealing hysterically.

"Eww!!!" Kota giggles, pinching his nose.

"Mommy and Daddy are stinky!"

My wolf ears do not miss the title he has given me and, for a brief moment, I forget all about my annoying mate and her farting yttttg, Our entire lives together play out like a movie in my head, each moment more beautiful than the last.I grow excited at the thought of witnessing Kota’s first shift and helping him meet his wolf for the first time.

Unlike our own shift, Kota will not be alone to figure it all out for himself.I will be there with him to help him through the pain.

When he meets his mate, I will be the one to help him plan out his first date with her, and before long, I'll be fixing his tie at his wedding.

I'll be the first one at the hospital to greet his pup and it will be the most spoiled little bean in the world.

I see it all so clearly in my head and now that I have, I will do everything in my power to make it our reality.

Zane did not have a father but Kota will have a Dad.

"Kota," Talia sighs.

"He’s-"

"Mine,"

Zane and I both say together, Zane regaining control "H-He’s mine,"

Zane reiterates, pushing back Kota’s hair and kissing his forehead.

Talia seems at a loss for words as she watches Kota cup his cheeks and make his own fart noises at us.

She has to know now that there's not a chance in hell that we will ever walk away from him...or her for that matter.

We take care of Kota’s morning routine, giving Talia plenty of space to think about what we said while she dresses.

Zane instructs Kota to wash his little face and brush his teeth by showing him how he does it, Kota mimicking his movements.

I watch in amusement as Kota attempts to comb his own hair like Zane, carefully observing Zane as he grooms himself.

Once dressed and ready to go, Zane takes Kota downstairs for breakfast, both of them opting for a quick bowl of cereal.

It’s a beautiful day outside, so we decide to set up our bowls of cereal outside on the patio.

A butterfly flutters past us and settles on some flowers nearby.

"Woah!" Kota cries, running off to see the butterfly.

"Look Zane, look! A butterfly!"

He tries to get close to it, but it quickly takes flight, fluttering to another bush to rest.

Zane grabs Kota, putting his finger to his lips.

"W-we have to be qu-quiet s-so we don’t s-scare it,"

Zane whispers, Kota gasping and covering his mouth with his hands.small creature from a distance, Kota asking a million questions which Zane answers patiently.

I watch silently, feeling my spirit fill with nostalgia.

Our humans are not aware of just how much we know about them.

They do not feel us until they are thirteen, but in truth, we have been with them since birth, silently observing them, watching them grow.I remember Zane’s first butterfly.

It was Elenore’s birthday, and up until that point, Zane had never set foot outside of his prison.

His mother spent all day with him, wanting to share her special day with her son.

That day, she brought him a small chocolate cupcake for him to eat all by himself, but he insisted on sharing it with her, the two of them giggling and smearing frosting on each other's noses.

Zane was sad to watch her go at the end of the visit, feeling lonely in such a large, empty room.

In the early hours of the morning as he was sleeping, he heard the jingling of the locks on the door.

Afraid that he perhaps had done something to upset his father, Zane jumped up from his bed and stood beside it, his eyes glued to the door in the darkness.

Elenore and Wyatt suddenly came in, an air of excitement "Zane, baby, get your shoes on,"

Elenore instructed, plucking a small coat from her bag and a hat.

Now fully awake, Zane grabbed his shoes and put on the little coat.

"Mommy, w-where are w-we going?" he asked, wiping his tired face.

"We, my beautiful little boy, are going outside,"

She smiled down at him, cupping his cheeks in her hands and kissing him on the forehead.

His eyes widened in shock and excitement, his energy filling the room.

"We should go now before the rest of the pack wakes up,"

Wyatt hurried them, Elenore lifting Zane in her arms and draping a blanket over him.

Together, they rushed out of the house as quietly as possible and headed to the waterfall cabin hidden in the northern part of the pack lands.

Zane sat glued to the window, staring at the incredibly large world illuminated by the first light of the day.

Upon arriving, Wyatt did a small patrol of the area, Zane’s excitement growing as they waited for his signal.

"You ready, my beautiful boy? Are you ready to see the world? " Elenore asked him upon receiving the green light that all was clear.

She helped Zane out of the car, his lungs filling with fresh forest air for the first time.

His little eyes darted from place to flowers opened up upon feeling the sun on their petals.

Wyatt shifted and stood close beside them as Elenore took him into the woods for a short walk.

Zane stuck out his hands to feel the fresh green leaves on all the plants along the trail, amazed by their velvety smoothness or jagged edges.

The sound of birds chirping in the distance startled Zane at first, but his mother took him to a clearing where they could hear and see several birds singing in the trees.

"Look, a b-bird!" Zane cried when he saw a mother bird settling on her nest.

"A b-bird! A b-bird!"

"Just like the ones in your books," his mother whispered, instructing Wyatt to set up a small picnic blanket for them to rest.

She removed his shoes so that he could feel the damp earth beneath his feet, Zane wiggling his toes on a pile of leaves and laughing at the strange feeling.

Elenore sat quietly on the blanket, watching her son as he leaped into the grass like a frog and picked different flowers for her when suddenly a small butterfly fluttered past him.

"M-mommy! M-mommy!" Zane squealed, his eyes wide as saucers as he ran after it deeper into the forest.

Elenore and Wyatt followed him and found him sitting by a bush, watching the butterfly open and close its wings as it stood on a flower.

"W-what is it?" Zane asked, mesmerized by the many spots on the creature’s wings.

"It’s resting after a long journey."

"Ma-maybe it needs wa-water, M-mommy," Zane said, looking around for a leaf with which to give it water.

He never did find a leaf because just at the moment, a large silver wolf appeared from the southern part of the forest, Zane scrambling to hide behind his mother.

"Sebastian," Elenore gasped, her hand instinctively reaching behind her to soothe her son.

And just like that, the beautiful first morning of freedom became a nightmare...

For many years, I watched in horror as Sebastian degraded his son and I knew that on the day I came forward, I would have to be strong for both of us.

I may annoy Zane most of the time, but my only goal is to make sure that he never feels like that frightened little boy again.

We are free now and I intend to keep it that way.

The scent of our mate approaching draws me out of Zane’s memories, her footsteps soft and quiet as she tiptoes towards us.

Zane becomes nervous in her presence but calms down when she wraps her arms around his waist and hugs him from behind.

She rests her head on his shoulder, breathing in calmly and saying nothing for a moment.

Zane’s heart beating with hope.

"But perhaps...one day I will be."