The Silent Alpha novel Chapter 48

***Rionna*** 

"M-mom?" the man stammers, his face pale as he gawks at me.

I turn my head to see if there is anyone behind me but just find a closed door in my path.

Who is he calling Mom?I wonder.

Toran chuckles softly to himself and I frown at him for teasing me before turning back to the frightened man.

A single tear rolls down his cheek but he does not move any closer to me, as if he is afraid I might disintegrate should he so much as breathe near me.

He looks so familiar...I tell myself though I can’t quite make out where exactly I have seen him.

"Look harder, Ry," Toran mind-links me.

"You know him."

"I do? “ I ask, squinting my eyes at the mysterious man.I study his features, taking in his dark hair, his smooth pale skin and his warm brown eyes.

Those eyes...Where have I seen those eyes....

"I think we should sit down first, Ry," Toran says, getting up to offer me his chair.

I step towards my husband only for the young man to whimper.

A memory suddenly pops into my head of a little boy with a stutter doing his best to recite a poem, a few sad tears trickling down his cheeks as he stumbles through his words.

"You're the little boy from my dreams..." I murmur, a soft smile curling on my lips as I turn to face him.

"You used to read poetry to me...You would get so frustrated with yourself when you couldn’t say a word right..." I mutter to myself, snapping my fingers in thought.

"You’re all grown up now, aren’t you?" I add, my excitement growing about meeting someone from my past.

...Perhaps he can tell us more about you than Toran can… my wolf, Senara whispers.

The man’s eyes glaze over with tears, his silence making me mildly uncomfortable, but I push onward, determined to figure out who he is.

"You're very handsome," I chirp, holding up my smile despite the man’s silent stare.

Am I making him uncomfortable?

 "Is she your mate?" I ask, turning to the young woman beside him clinging to his arm.

"She’s very beautiful," I smile, hoping to get a reaction from either of them.

The young woman smiles at me but I can tell she and I have never met by the way she looks at me.I turn to the small older woman who has her brows furrowed in anger at Toran and I, my heart skipping a beat at her clear Had I upset her in my past life?

 "And who are you?" I ask her, the small woman shaking her head at me.

"Honey, will you sit down, please?" Toran sighs, ushering me towards the chair.

He gestures at the young man to sit as well, but he refuses to move an inch, completely paralyzed by his emotions.

The longing in his eyes awakens something within me, something so loving and pure yet so familiar, like sitting by a fireplace on a cold winter's night, the glow of the flames touching every inch of me, enveloping me in the safety of its warmth.

"Who am I to you?" I whisper, a nauseating feeling growing in my belly when a pained look flashes in his eyes.

"Y-you don’t ....Y-you don’t know w-who I- I am?" he whispers after a long silence, his words cutting into my heart with their anguish.

Guilt washes over me as his despair grows with my silence and I close my eyes to concentrate, willing my memories to come back to me, but all I see is an empty abyss.

"It’s okay, Rionna, " Toran murmurs via mind-link, his voice soft and soothing.

"Don’t push yourself.Your memories will come back when you are ready."

This is why I love my husband so much.He is the voice of reason when I feel so completely lost and useless.He’s my anchor, my home, my love.

Tylen and I.

Toran wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me to his side, the young man watching us in utter shock.

"This is my wife, Rionna and my son, Tylen," he smiles at us.

"Rionna, this is Zane, his mother Agnes, and his mate, Talia," he adds, pointing to the man, his mate and his mother.

Toran then points to a beautiful woman with long white hair and gorgeous honey eyes.I feel the urge to pay respect to her and bend over in a low bow along with Tylen.

"And that is Her Majesty, Aurora and her King, Oliver," Toran explains.

"Pleasure," I smile at everyone.

The Queen studies me carefully for a moment but ultimately gives me a warm welcome and urges me to take a seat.

Zane opens his mouth to speak but decides against it, pursing his lips and clenching his fists at his sides as he sits with his mate and mother.

"I think it's best if my wife tells her story to you, Zane, before you ask any questions," Toran explains, turning to me.

"Is that okay, hun?"

I have grown used to explaining myself to Toran’s allies before, so this is not out of the ordinary for me, but Zane’s pained stare makes this more difficult than usual.

Clearing my throat, I start with my very first memory.

"Unfortunately, I don’t remember much, but several years ago, I woke up in a hospital with no memories of who I was or how amnesia, I think," I shrug apologetically, hoping Zane’s sadness will fade away as I explain myself to him.

"Toran was there when I opened my eyes for the first time.He didn’t like me very much and was quite angry at me for being awake," I chuckle, Toran smirking mischievously and kissing my hand.

"He told me I had died, but for some reason, I came back..." I add, still unable to wrap my head around the story myself.

Toran sighs heavily and explains in further detail the events of my rising.

"After I ordered the hit during King Arthur's birthday party, I requested that my wolves bring me back her body as proof of her death.As she was being transported to Ravenstone, she sat up in the back of the van, the wound on her neck completely healed," Toran adds with emphasis.

"My wolves told me she was awake for a while, but it was as if she were in limbo, not really ‘here’ at all.She said nothing, just sat up like a stone the entire ride to Ravenstone.My wolves were terrified of her so they didn’t even try to touch her until they arrived at the pack hospital.A doctor came to check her out and she fell into a deep coma a couple minutes into the examination," he shrugs.

"I was tempted to kill her..."he adds with a chuckle as I smack his arm playfully, Zane watching curiously.

"But then I realized Moon Goddess would not have bestowed the gift of life to her again without good reason.She must have a bigger plan for her.So...rather than kill her, I kept Elenore, or rather Rionna, as my prisoner until I could figure out what that reason was," he says, pulling out my smoky quartz had Rionna wear this fae enchanted stone to mask her appearance whenever she leaves the pack house.It’s kept her safe from being spotted for the last 20 years."

I chance a glance at Zane and find him looking at me with so much emotion, hanging on to every word of my story.

"I didn’t feel much like a prisoner, however," I add with a smile.

"I was given a comfortable room after I woke up from my coma and was allowed to explore the pack house whenever I pleased.I even had company with Tylen.He would visit me every day to share a meal with me or play board games," I explain, patting Tylen’s shoulder, though he appears lost in thought, his eyes focusing on Agnes.

How odd...I sigh.

"Toran would also come to visit a lot, asking me if I could remember anything about my past but never giving me much information about myself."

"The doctors told me it was best not to force you to remember," Toran grumbles grumpily.

"I was only doing what I was told."

"And I thank you very much for protecting me," I reply, leaning over and pecking him on the lips to Zane’s horror.

Why does it seem my relationship with Toran upsets him so much?

 "I’m afraid not many memories have come back since I’ve woken up.I know my name was once Elenore and Toran tells me Imore me.Sometimes I get these recurring dreams, but they don’t really feel like dreams; they’re more like little fragments or hints of my memory....And you are always in them,"I smile at Zane, several tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Although you are much Bigger now," I laugh.

"You used to read poetry to me and we would watch the butterflies flutter by," I smile.

"I-l don’t remember who you are...but every memory with you is always beautiful and I look forward to dreaming more about you.I don’t know much about Elenore in her past life, but I know she was happiest with you...so thank you.Thank you for making her life so special."

Zane turns to hide his face from me and the guilt once again returns, making me wish I could remember who he is.

"Don't feel bad," Toran reminds me, grabbing hold of my hand and squeezing it.

"This is all my fault, not yours.I did this to you,"

The pain in Zane’s heart, however, makes it hard for me to not give in to my guilt.

"Who am I to you?" I whisper aloud, hoping if Zane gave me a hint, I might somehow remember who he is.

Unable to bear his anguish any longer, Zane storms away from the table only to be stopped by the Queen, her command felt even by me.

"Zane, stop," she calls out, Zane’s grip on the door knob tightening so that his knuckles turn white.

"This is hard for her Toran sighs heavily, as he always does when something is weighing heavily on his mind.

"You’re his mother, Ry." The blood drains from my face as I stare at the man at the door.

"H-his what..."

"Zane is your son,"

Toran repeats, the blow of this news not any lighter the second time around.

Zane trembles where he stands, his mate walking up to comfort him but unsure if she should touch him or let him have his space.

Meanwhile, several emotions bombard me all at once, the most powerful being shame.

How could I not know I had a son? How does a mother forget a son? HOW? My chest burns with anger and I push myself onto my feet, glaring down at the master behind this mess.

"H-how could you?" I scream at him, Toran’s face remaining irritably calm as he looks up at me.

"How could you not tell me I have a son?"

"He was on enemy territory-"

"And? What right did you have to hide my son from me!?" I retort, furious at the thought of Zane growing up without me.

"What good would knowing have done for you?" Toran replies calmly, though I hear the slight tremor in his voice.

"I didn’t know if he was actually alive when you first woke up.I sent Agnes to Scarlett Haven on a hunch that he was alive, but even then it was difficult to determine who Zane really was.No one had ever seen him before.There were no records, no birth certificates, no school weren't even photographs of him at his supposed memorial when your ex-Alpha announced your deaths!" he argues.

Quickly composing himself, Toran shifts his weight on the seat and takes a deep breath.

"When I heard Agnes was given a pup to look after, I didn’t suspect he could be the hidden heir.Orphans are a common side effect of war and I wasn't surprised that they gave a motherless pup to Agnes to care for.I was not about to torture you with the pain of his memory if I could not verify that Zane was in fact alive."

"So how long?" I ask, Toran raising an eyebrow at me.

"How long’ what?"

"How long did you plan to keep this from me? How long did you know my son was still alive?" I snarl at him.

His face grows very grim and after a long pause, he finally answers.

"Not long, but I never stopped looking for him, hoping one day I could bring him home to you."

At this revelation, Zane turns to face us, a bit of surprise in his eyes.

"I watched Scarlett Haven for years, noticing patterns and studying my enemy very carefully, and after years of observation, I realized Agnes and Zane were being watched at all times.They worked close to the pack house, they were never allowed off the territory and they never participated in pack runs.The former Gamma was like Zane’s shadow, never stepping in to stop any abuse Zane faced but always watching." pain all these years? I glance at Zane, his eyes lowering in shame at the disclosure of his maltreatment.

It’s moments like that I hate myself with every fiber in my body for being so utterly useless in my state.

"Again, I had no way to verify if Zane was actually your son.Just a hunch.But about three or four weeks ago,"

Toran continues, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Something unexpected happened.Zane and Agnes were cast out as rogues...and for some reason, the Gamma and his scouts were sent to keep their eyes on them.I knew then that Zane was special to Scarlett Haven and I sent my own team to watch over him.They were able to collect DNA samples from a hair found in a motel room he stayed in and I compared it to you.It was a match.My team has been watching him ever since, following him all the way here, to the Ivory Kingdom."

A knowing smile curls on Toran’s lips and he shakes his head at himself.

"Given his gift, I’m sure by now he knows what I want from him...just as I’m sure he knows what I truly feel for you, Ry," he adds quietly.

"I am not a perfect man...I made a lot of mistakes regarding you, hun.I did not intend to fall in love with you.I did not intend to care so much about a person I should hate.But I do ...and I am paying dearly for it."

I don’t know what to make of all of this, my heart and my head in a battle for my memories whispers in a small voice.

"But I was afraid you might try to find him on your own and get yourself killed in the process..."

"You had no right to keep this from me," I whimper, wiping at my eyes to keep the tears at bay.

"No right."

"I know," Toran replies, unable to look at me.

"Which is why I did not object to you coming along."

"You are a coward and a liar!" I shriek, my head pounding from all the thoughts in my head.

"I am," he shrugs.

"And I am not ashamed to admit that a part of me fears you'll see Sebastian one day and still feel your bond with him or that you’ll leave Tylen and I for your Zane." I can’t stand it when he’s so calm and rational.

"I have robbed you of 20 years with your son.Don’t let your anger and hatred towards me rob you of any more," he says, rising to his feet.

"I have come here with the purpose of ending this war and giving you all a chance at a happy life together, but I can’t do that alone.Nearly three decades of war has left my army quite vulnerable."

"You want him to join your army," I murmur my realization.

"I want to show Sebastian that he threw away his best chance at winning this war," Toran snaps.

"You’re not dragging my son into your mess," I shake my head in disbelief.

"No...No.Forget it!"

I turn to Zane, hoping he will deny Toran’s request, but helped raise and at his mate.

"You don’t have to do this," I beg him.

"You are not required to help anyone anymore."

But it seems his mind is already made up.

"T-The King has th-threatened to w-wage war on me if-if I-I do not p-present myself with-in two we-eks," he says in a low voice.

"A-After all these y-years, I-I finally have a fam-family to l-love and i-it is being th-threatened..."He says, looking sternly at my husband....

"W-hen t-the King co-comes looking for m-me, I-I want him and m-my father to regret e-ever th-throwing me away."