The Silent Alpha novel Chapter 54

***Natalia’*** 

I can feel myself slipping away as blood pours out of my neck area and I make peace with the thought that this may be the end for me.

Zane reluctantly pulls his hands away from the wound and leans forward to kiss my forehead, his lips leaving lingering sparks on my skin and I try to savor them as he turns to leave.

"I- I'll be back," he murmurs.

This may be the last time we speak to each other, so I reach out my hand and hold onto his wrist a little longer.I want him to know how glad I am we met.

"Zane..." I croak, struggling to find my words.

"I-I love you." He does not reply but I see the anguish swimming in his eyes and it hurts.

My sweet mate is breaking inside.I just hope when this is all over, his heart is still intact.

Zane storms out of the car and Rionna kicks into action, reaching her hand over me to unbuckle my seat belt.

"Don't worry, dear.We'll get you help," she reassures me, grabbing Agnes'‘s hands and placing them over my wound.

"We just need to get you into the passenger seat," she grunts, jumping out of the car and adjusting the passenger seat so that it rests all the way back.

Dakota screaming in the background for me.

"Mommy! Mommy!" he wails, Rionna, and Agnes shifting me onto the passenger seat.

"Please help my Mommy," he sobs.

"Help her!"

I open my mouth to calm him down but only incoherent mumbles escape my lips, frustration bubbling in my chest.

Instincts take over, however, and I do my best to keep calm and slow down my breathing.If I want to survive, I need to stay calm.

Agnes tears off her shirt, ripping the fabric into strips and tying it around my shoulder and over my collar bone to stop the bleeding.

Instant pain shoots across my chest, my nails imprinting half moons into the car seat as I bite on my tongue to hold back my screams.I don’t want to scare my baby.

Rionna jumps into the driver seat, restarting the car and turning it back towards River Moon.

"Stay with us Talia.Just stay with us," she orders me as we speed down the road.

"I linked Toran and he’s getting help from the Queen.Just hang on.Don’t go.Kota and Zane still need you." I can feel myself slipping into the darkness, a coldness filling my body as more blood pools around my chest.

"Mommy!" Kota screams, my eyes struggling to stay open.

"Mommy wake up!"

But the exhaustion is only growing stronger, its claws fight to stay conscious but as we drive through what appears to be a portal, I feel myself fall into the cold pitch black, the pain subsiding and the world giving way to the abyss.I do not feel fear as I wander aimlessly for what feels like hours into the void.

The dark is quiet but in a soothing way.I must have died...I tell myself, my heart breaking a little at the thought but the memory of Kota and Zane watching the butterflies calms my fears.

Even in my absence, my son will know love.

His father will make sure of that.

Peace settles into my being and as I take a step forward, I feel the ground give way and a flutter fills my heart as I fall into the pitch black.

My arms and legs instinctively search for something to grab onto as I fall when the black nothingness suddenly fades to blue skies and fluffy clouds I can almost touch with my fingers.

Just as suddenly as the sky appears, I feel myself gently fall into a body of water, small waves washing over me until I'm fully submerged.I react instantly and swim to the water's surface, taking a huge gulp of air to fill my starving lungs.

My eyes scan my surroundings and I find myself in the middle of a lake, a calm voice calling me to the shore.

Natalia....

Natalia...

The wind whispers, its voice sweet and melodic.I decide to follow it and swim towards the shore, my eyes watching the woods just beyond it.

Something moves between eyes gazing intently at me.

Its gorgeous gray coat has a light blue tint to it as the light hits it and air of dominance lingers around the wolf. The wolf feels familiar and as I crawl onto the shore, it rushes to help me, its tail wagging with pup-like excitement.I carefully inspect myself, realizing I'm wearing a simple white dress, my wet hair clinging to my neck and shoulders.

The wound which had been bleeding like crazy only moments ago is long gone, flawless skin now covering my collarbone.

"Hello, wolf" I murmur as I get up on my feet and dust off the sand from my now bare legs.

My eyes widen in shock when it replies back with a smooth voice.

"Hello, Natalia," it murmurs, turning its body towards the forest.

"We should hurry.She’s waiting for us."

"Who?" I ask, but the wolf does not answer, running off into the woods.

hurry after it, avoiding small stones and branches littering the forest floor as I run barefoot.

After a while of running, the dense forest gives way to a clearing with a large tree near the edge.

Several large stones are arranged around a much larger stone like chairs around a table, and the wolf takes a seat on one of the stone chairs.

I run up to the wolf and lean my body against a stone, inhaling deeply to catch my breath.

"Hello Natalia," a gentle voice whispers from behind the tree, hair black as night appears before me.

She is barefoot and wears a simple yet elegant white dress with blue embellishments at the hem.

A kind smile stretches across her perfect red lips and her dark eyes twinkle like the stars.

The wolf jumps off the stone and bows its head before the woman, the beautiful being stroking the wolf's fur in a loving manner.

Unsure what to do with myself, I stand up immediately and awkwardly bow to her as I fumble with my hands.

"H-hello," I reply softly, the woman chuckling.

"You're not going to ask how I know your name?" she asks, her question leaving me dumbfounded.

"I'm dead right?" I answer with a shrug.

"And you're here to lead me to the afterlife...? Or wherever it is I’m supposed to go.Heaven.Hell perhaps,"

I offer sheepishly, the woman taking a seat on a stone with the wolf laying at her feet.

"You are not dead," she murmurs, petting the wolf who purrs contently at her.

"It's not your time yet.Zane and Kota still need you."

"Then what am I doing here?" I ask, looking around at the massive forest.

She hums to herself before answering.

"You are very different from your sister.Where she sought to change her fate, you do not seem keen to ask me for anything.” Quite the opposite 

"I don’t know who or what you are so how can I ask you for anything?" I mutter.

"Besides, I make my own fate.Or at least I like to think so."

"Is that why you fought hard against your mate bond with Zane? You wanted to make your own fate?" I raise an eyebrow at the woman, my patience wearing thin.

"Who are you?" I ask.

"The Moon, the Mother of the Wolves, the Daughter of the Night, Selene, Diana, Coyolxauhqui, Hanwi, Huitaca, Moon Goddess, take your pick," she shrugs.

"Peoples across the world have given me so many names that it does not matter what you call me. All that matters is that you respect me and my work,"

"So you're their Moon Goddess," I say in realization, my eyes flickering to the wolf at her feet.

"And I assume that’s your pet?"

The wolf growls at me, Moon Goddess giving the wolf a stern look to behave.

"Devina, like all of my wolves, is a product of my love, my own creation, my child," the Goddess replies, stroking the wolf's head.

"Werewolves all contain a spirit, a soul that I create.She is a soul without a vessel."

"Ah, so you're the matchmaker who paired me with not one but two wolves," I mumble, shaking my head at the goddess who royally screwed me over. 

"Thank you very much for that, by the way.You’ve given me two head aches. " with an amused smile.

"Of course not," I huff, measuring my words carefully.

"But even you must admit Christian was a mistake.Why did you do that? Why did you match me with a man who was incapable of cherishing what we had? Why did you let him hurt me? Why did you let him break me?"

I scream, several tears spilling onto my cheeks, "I loved him! I loved him with every fiber in my being.I trusted him! I trusted you and you both failed me! You both broke me! And then you screwed me over by giving me another mate.I didn’t ask for one! I didn’t ask for any of this, so why? Why did you do this? Why can’t you just leave me alone? Why do you insist on touching every aspect of my life? WHY?!?!"

For a long time, the heavenly Goddess remains very quiet, gently petting Devina’s snout with so much love and affection, I start to believe she may be ignoring me entirely.

"You are very angry..." she finally whispers.

"As am I..." she sighs.

"Like any mother, I wish only the best for all of my children.All of them deserve their happily ever afters and I do the best I can to make that happen for every pair I make.Of course, plans don’t always go the way you hope, at least not in a world where free will exists.For you see, as any mother, I try to teach my wolves to love and respect each other, but sometimes it is out of my control.Even the best mothers cannot help a child who does not wish to be helped.I cannot tell my children how to be, I can only hope they learn from the mistakes they make along the way.It hurts to see them fight.It hurts to see my wolves in pain.It hurts to see all to be a mother sometimes.But I endure it all with the hope that one day my wolves will find peace again.I chose Christian and Jack for you because I could see he was slowly slipping away and he needed someone to ground him, someone to neutralize his temper.You were that person.Your level headedness, your intelligence and straightforward thinking, your patience made you an ideal candidate.I had hoped that with you by his side, Christian would see the ways of his errors, but I was wrong.I don't know why Christian did what he did.I do not know why Jack did not stop his human from forsaking the bond time and time again with your sister.I do not know why you had to pay the price for their mistakes but I can tell you that Zane was never meant to be a punishment.He was a man who could only hope to find love.He had long ago given up on ever finding a mate due to his flaws.He was alone, afraid, and broken.He did not deserve the cards he was dealt.. and neither did you," the Goddess replies.

"I know that is not the answer you were hoping for but sometimes life is just simply out of our control."

"I see," I mumble, crossing my hands over my chest as I think.

"So what now?"

The Goddess thinks for a moment in silence, Devina licking her creator's fingers.

Finally, after a long pause, Moon Goddess sighs and rises to her feet giving you a choice, my child.

“Would you like to remain human, or will you accept one more gift from me?" she asks.

"t don’t understand," I shake my head at her and she instructs Devina to rise.

"lonce had a plan for Devina, but like you, fate dealt her an unfair hand.

She too must deal with the betrayals of her former Auman and now awaits a new fate.My mother, the Goddess of the Night has blessed her and she can only belong to a human of your kind."

"My kind?"I ask.

"What do you mean?"

"Not yet, child.You’re not ready for that information just yet," the Goddess replies, turning back to the wolf.

"Devina is a stunning creature, perfectly imperfect and is a good match for Grayson’s bold temperament.She's yours, should you wish it, but choose carefully, my child.I will only make this offer once.There is a storm coming your way, one that will change your life forever.Do you wish to face your fate as you are, a human or do you wish to take on the form of a wolf? You choose," the Goddess smiles, Devina prancing around me like a happy pup.

I stare at the beautiful wolf, my brain running a mile a minute as I think of an answer.I have never wanted to be a wolf and for many reasons.

Being human is what I am and what I have always been proud to be.

Even as Luna, I did not mind working twice as hard as everyone else for the same results because I believed in Living among wolves for years, I saw the harshness of their ranks and the cruelty of their bonds and I wanted nothing to do with it.

Christian and Silver Crest’s betrayal only cemented my desire to never become part of another pack again but I see now not all wolves are evil.

My baby is a wolf, my beautiful loving mate is a wolf, and I have learned to see their beauty as well as their flaws.

Wolves are not as perfect as I once had thought.

They hurt and make mistakes just like humans, and oftentimes they show more humanity than humans themselves.

I do not need a wolf for even as a human, I can be useful, but perhaps being a wolf is not such a bad thing after all.

My head begins to hurt as I try to make sense of what I desire, all of my thoughts bombarding me at once.I was born human and have never desired to be anything else.Do I truly need to change who I am? 

"You have made your choice, haven't you?" the Goddess of the Moon says.

"How interesting."

"Are you mocking me?" I mutter, Moon Goddess chuckling to herself

"You make it difficult to like you sometimes," she replies and I laugh dryly at her.

"So I've been told," I grumble back.

"But being well liked is not my goal.I am what  l am."

"And that’s why, despite your crudeness, I do still like you," Moon Goddess smiles and turn to face the beautiful wolf wagging her tail at me.

"It’s time to go home," Moon Goddess sighs.

"Your mate is waiting for you." The Moon Goddess gently cups my cheeks and forces me to look at her in her heavenly eyes.

"Be good to him,"She murmurs.

"He is hurting.Zane has just done something he never thought he would be capable of doing.Do not let it destroy his goodness.Be good to him.He needs your love now more than ever."

"Yes, your Grace," I whisper back without hesitation.

"I love that man." Agentle smile curls on her lips and she leans forward to kiss my forehead.

"Good.He loves you too,"

Before I can say anything else, a bright flash of light blinds my eyes and I fall into the rainbow of colors.

When I open my eyes again, I find myself in a bed of a large room, my son curled up at my side hugging his little wolf to his chest.

At my feet, I see Zane sitting on a chair while resting his head on my legs.He stirs, looking up at me with tears when he realizes I’m awake.

"T-Talia?"

He whimpers, as if unsure if I am truly awake or just a figment of his imagination.I don’t get to say another word because his lips crash onto mine, all of my jumbled thoughts melting away with his tender kiss.