The Vampire Teacher (GirlxGirl) novel Chapter 59

I close the door behind me when I step into the room sighting as the reality hit me, I stand with my back to the door, breathing heavily as I heard my friend giggle outside the door as she and Jacky left for school. I'm so happy for her, I'm so grateful that's she happy unhappy like me.

I scratch with my hand through my hair, and slide down to the ground with my legs close together with my face bend on my knees, I scream out all the pain, guilt, stress, all mix emotionally feelings that overwhelmed me out of my system as I finally cry my eyes out.

"Oh heavenly father, please help me, lead me through this path and guard me for I need you now", I silently pray in my heart still feeling my warm tears on my face.

I know I was wrong but why don't they see my point of view, I just need to get out of here, I miss home my own bed and now I must hide in this room this big house full of vampires and a mate who doesn't even glance at me for one second.

I wasn't able to sit into this position when I felt a cramp in one of my legs as I try to stand up and throw myself on the soft bed that was covered with a beautiful black blanket with white straps in between. I lay on my back with my eyes fix on the white pattern ceiling, my mind drift off to Brenda's face expression this morning during breakfast. Damn was she hot, and it was turning me on even thou she wasn't talking to me.

She is so angry at me that she even has my place at the table been replace by her daughter, who also didn't even glance at me like always. I felt the guilt running down my body, a tear roll down my cheeks as I can't explain how I'm exactly feeling. I did apologize even thou I know they weren't exactly going to forgive me just yet and I'm not going to stay here any longer.

I have over stayed my welcome, I felt the change in the room this morning when I entered the dining room, everything suddenly changed, Brenda suddenly didn't wanna have her breakfast and since I'm going to spoiled the mood everytime I'm going to walk up on them I rather pack my things and left, so that they can be happy.

I gathered my things that I haven't already packed yet in my suitcase and put it in my suitcase and check for more things Im not willing to leave behind. I don't know if this is really what I exactly want but with Brenda ignoring me, I can't stay here anymore. I need to be me and enjoy life, I'm still young and not able to be a house wife just yet. I don't know what I'm going to do with all the things that has happened  this few months and the things I knew about supernaturals, its still so shocking for me but I guess I have to pull through this. But how Will I ever over come the fact that Brenda said that we are not save yet to go home what does she exactly mean by that.

There was a knock on the door wiping away my tears when I see my mother walk in with a plate in her hands looking in my direction with concern and worried in her eyes, making me more sad to see her like this and all because of my stupidness.

"Darling", she said walking up to me. She take my hand in hers and lead us to the bed to sit down. You didn't have breakfast so I thought bringing it here, since I have heard you going to study from the exams", she said looking at me.

"I Humm, yes mom it's better if I just continue with school, which I really don't know if I'm sure about it. I have so much on my shoulders", I told her biting on my lower lip trying not to cry as sadness took over.

"My baby", she said taking my face into her warm hands turning my head to face her, I relaxed into her soft warm touch my eyes land on her beautiful brown obrs smiling at me as she put my lose hair behind my ear, I know my baby and I'm here for you if you need anything if you want to talk mommy loves you, you know that right? she asked me furrowed her eyes at me.

I look at her and smile, "I know MA and I love you too, is just everything is to much for me I can take this fighting of Brenda and the others. I don't even get a chance to go out been my self, when did I ever took chrissy out since she's here when mom? I shouted a little hard standing up from bed and pacing around with my hands on my hips.

"Darling", my mother sigth as I turn to look at her, "why don't you talk to Brenda about what you feel and what you want and stop fighting, is there even a normal conversation between you too because all I can see is that you two have been always fighting you guys are busy hurting LJ in the process", she spoke looking at me.

"I just wanna go back home mom, is that to much to asked? I asked her while taking a bacon from my plate. I'm not going to stay here any longer with me having exams to study and with Brenda who doesn't wanna talk with me, is to much to handle, it's working on me to know she is angry with me and with her dressing like that it's killing my heart mom to know that she is not wearing like that for me, I'm sorry but can't she see that you won't tell me you didn't see how she had ignored me this morning. " I told her.

"Is not like you wanted to talk with her did you try to make up and try to tell her you sorry and what you want baby? she asked catching me off guard.

"Really? I asked her getting frustrated. I'm going to study you will find me in chrissy's room", I Told her and left the room to go and find the notes I'm going to need to study for this exam.

On my way to chrissy's room I stop when hearing snuffing noise coming from there as I sight thinking back to all the things I have said about them. I'm so confused not knowing should I knock or just walk in which makes me scared to just walk into this room knowing she can kill me. I knocked on the door calling on her name  not knowing if she going to let me in after everything.

She not going to open the door so I let myself in seeing her small body lay on her bed curl into a ball crying with her back to me. Sadness overwhelmed me as I felt really bad to hurt someone so harmful and so small and sweet. I walk up to her bed and crawl next to her wrapping my arms around her body and pressing her close to me as her cries starts to get louder knowing that she knows it's me something I like about this creatures but it's also not fun.

I lift my head and lay mine on hers still holding her close to my body letting her cry her heart out so that I can talk with after she was satisfied with the pain and stress from crying it all out. I'm really sorry for everything I have done really. I didn't mean to hurt her the process, I felt my heart crack seeing LJ so broken because of me who suppose to be her mother and to love her and embrace her not making her cry and sad. I'm going to be a bad mother I thought for myself as a tear fall on my cheek.

LJ's cry has finally stop, I kiss her on her soft hair hearing her sobbing and try to stop crying. I relax feeling her soft cold fingers playing with my fingers giving me goosebumps by her touch the same effect her mother has on me making me smile to think about her mother touch on my Body. I remove that nasty though from my mind and kiss LJ again on her head as I felt her shift seeing her move to look at me with her red pink face from all the crying.

For a moment she remind me of her mother's features when I look at her and she at me. I caressed her wet face wiping away her tears with a smile and sad frown on my face seeing her like that.

"I'm sorry", I told her feeling my chest clenched tightly by the pain of seeing her like that feeling really bad about everything and with her looking at me like that it break me. I miss that beautiful blue eyes of hers that use to smile at me  when she look at me, it's all gone and I couldn't stand it to see her like this she took me as her second mother and this is how I treated her.

I lift my hand that caressing her face to wipe my own tears with my blouse sleeves looking at at her, "I'm sor...ry my baby", I cried out feeling embarrassed to cry in front this little girl, "I'm so so sorry about everything the way I hurt you, your mother and everyone. I'm sorry but please don't cry don't look so sad it's killing me. I can't stand to see you like this", I told her feeling her cold hands trying to wipe my tears that's just keep running out of my eyes as I sobbed hysterically.

I'am horrible who am I to judge them for who their are, it isn't my place to do that how will they ever forgive me how will I look Brenda in the eyes again. Will she forgive me does she even still love me, how can she loves me after I call her a monster I'm a monster I'm terrible. I cry outbmy tears running down my face while both me and LJ try to wipe it.

I couldn't barely breathe as I felt how something was blocking some air as I couldn't get some oxygen from my lungs, my chest was clenching tightly as I try to breathe out, I'm a monster more then that. I want to take back my words and forget that I ever use this words, forget that it ever touch the tip of my tongue and lips..

"Mommy lucia", LJ spoke up trying to hold my face in her small hands looking at me her eyes was watering as she look at me in concern, "it's okay mommy Lucia I forgive you really, I forgive you", she cry out, "but please try to breath", she sobbed.

I try to listen to her soft voice and trying to breathe in some air as pain run through my lungs and chest from not getting oxygen as I cried out. A huge pain run down my body seeing LJ's eyes widen in shocked not knowing what happing with me when I started to cough and cough as I choke on my own sobbs seeing my vision starts to blurr.

"Please mom try to relax breathe in and out." she said to me as I listen to her atill trying to relax and breath out closing my eyes feeling cold air running down my heart and lungs as I felt some oxygen going down my throat and lungs.