The Vampire Teacher (GirlxGirl) novel Chapter 67

Lucia's POV

Half of my clothes was so wet by all my crying. I'm lost, broken so confuse, I really don't know what to do anymore. My heart is so tired and it's so broken. I can't take this pain that I'm feeling.It's like someone has stabbed a sword right through my heart and let it bleed out till the last minute. I try to stop thinking about her, I try to stop crying and telling myself that she is not worth my tears because she is not, but the pain it was getting just worst and worst.I cry and cry and cry but it seems the more i cry the more the pain hurts. I heard my friend called for me but I couldn't even let her in I want to be alone I want to die I'm no use for this world my life is a messed.

"I'm so sorry Brenda , I'm sorry please just take away this pain it's hurt my heart."

I'm tired so tired. I wipe my tears screaming out this emotional feeling. I'm not going to cry again no no no, it's fine its okay I'm fine. I can take this pain I will over come it. She can go to hell and do just what she wants but I'm not going to cry in this room no more. I look for my phone trying to keep me busy as I sobb trying so hard not to concentrate on this pain.

"Mommy Lucia", I heard LJ's voice and hearing her knock on the door. I'm sorry but I really need to be alone right. Who does she really thinks she is and what does she thinks about her self, did she even love me like she said. I sight trying to think about everything dis she really love me. I scroll down my phone looking for a certain song to listen just to calm myself. I find it and I play it puting my phone on loud volume trying to take out LJ's and chrissy voice.

I lay down on the bed sighting. I breathe in and out wrapping a blanket around my body and closing my eyes while the song plays making me relaxed into the soft beat and melody.

There goes my heart beating

Cause you are the reason

I'm losing my sleep

Please come back now

There goes my mind racing

And you are the reason

That I'm still breathing I'm hopeless now.

I'd climb every mountain

And swim every ocean

Just to be with you

And fix what I've broken

OH cause I need you to see

That you are the reason

There goes my hand shaken

And you are the reason, My heart keeps beating

I need you now

If I could turn back the clock

I'd make sure the lights defeated the dark

It's doesn't seems like destiny will  ever grand me that second chance to make things right. I want to send this song to her but I don't know if she going to read my messages nor listen to this song I don't matter to her anymore.Sadness overwhelmed me again as I can't imagine being without her I felt like there something missing. I promise my mom and LJ that I Wil stop crying and not thinking about everything so much but I can't, I don't like living this way I'm better off dieing.

I walk down towards the windows and open it up I climb through it and sit down with my legs hanging out and shaking as tears roll down my face.It was all ready dark as you can see the stars in the sky. My face was hit with cold wind blowing making me flinched by how cold it was.I was trying so hard to throw myself down and just die she is good off without me. But I'm not going to do it for her but for me to keep this pain away seeing her  with someone els will just tore my heart apart and I'm not going to let it happen. I close my eyes enjoying the cold wind blowing through my face and hair. It was really refreshing and calming me down. I press my eyes very hard breathing through my noise as I heard LJ's little voice in my head.

"Mommy Lucia I love you so much." I imagine her happy face when she said that I'm will bring her many sisters and brothers. What will happen with her when I jump down here it will break her, destroy her mostly her connection with her mother and I don't want that. I want her to be happy. I think about all the people I'm going to hurt when killing myself chrissy will breakdown and as crazy she is she will kill her self. I'm the best thing that happened to her I can't do this. My mom, I'm all she had now, I can't do that to her to them just for the sake of Brenda not loving me. I wipe my tears from my face and sigth hard trying to get the dirty things I'm willing to do out of my head and get  off from the window to go and check on my family.

Maybe I will see Brenda just maybe seeing her smile, her beautiful face her eyes that give me butterflies. I really love her and I'm so sorry for calling her a monster she is my everything. I change my clothes into comfortable clothes and went down to see what they busy with. I walk down the hall but stop when I heard Brenda laugh. It's so beautiful hearing her laugh it was so sweet and I can't wait to make her laugh again but my heart almost fall out of my chest when I heard her said something. I turned my head towards where her voice were coming from at the second floor of the house seeing her talk on the phone.

"I miss you too and can't wait to see you again, sleep tight." she said to the person on the phone making me froze.

Why is she doing this to me why don't she just told me to leave her alone and to stay away from her. I wasn't in the mood for people anymore as I walk back towards the way where our room was located at the third floor trying to keep my tears back. I'm so done crying, I'm so exhausted to let my tears fall. I walk up to LJ's room to fetch the pills Mrs swartz gave me. I wasn't sure if LJ's was here so I didn't knock and just open the door and walk in. It's was very dark inside but I could see a little light coming through her balcony where I saw her sit.

"LJ honey", I called out as I walk closer to her seeing her looking out into the darkness. She wasn't answering me which I don't blame her. She look so lost I was feeling very bad for her. Her eyes was cold and blank as she look out maybe at the stars. I take her pink barbie blanket from her bed and pick her up slowly not to let her fall from my hands and sit down on the chair which I assume it's her mother's and make myself comfortable with her on my lap as I kiss her on her head.

"I'm sorry baby girl for not opening the door for you but I needed space, why are you not sleeping yet and  siting here alone darling? i asked her. It doesn't look like she's going to answer me but it was fine, I'm happy here with her in my arms atleast there is some place i can be and be happy.

" Okay now I'm here you can sleep I'm going nowhere", I told her as I hold her close to my chest and wrapping the blanket around us. I close my eyes and enjoy the moment with her while I try to get Brenda out of my mind hearing her laugh because of someone else making me sight. Why can I get her out of my head.We sat there for how long I don't know but I started to feel tired, I'm sure LJ was asleep by now hearing her smooth soft breathing I didn't have the strength to stand up as I close my eyes letting the sleep took over.

Just when the sleep was about to take over I heard the door of the room open making me groan as I turned my head towards the door seeing Brenda walking in making me sigth.I wasn't going to fight with her if this is what she thought then she is wrong. I felt her hands running through my hair making me sigth again.I was shocked when I felt her hands wrapped around my shoulders and my legs as she lift both me and LJ up as I still hold onto her. I was so exhausted as I let her do her things because I trust her but it was strange for me so for a moment I gain my mind back telling myself that she is a vampire after all so it is possible for her to lift us up as she put us down to LJ's bed and covers us up.

I close my eyes and let the sleep took me over again feeling her climb in next to her daughter with her arm wrapped around us making me flinch by her touch on my hips as our eyes locked.