You Owe Me, My Love novel Chapter 185

Bai Rong widened her eyes and stared at Gu Mingchen. Her mind went blank for a second but she calmed down quickly.

“If you want us to date officially because you don’t want me to feel aggrieved, you don’t have to do that. Because dating you will only make me feel more aggrieved.” She retorted and blew his top.

“What do you mean by you will only ‘feel more aggrieved’?” The man frowned and continued saying, “Do you think I am not good enough to be your boyfriend?”

Bai Rong did not look at him as she zipped up her luggage and put it in an upright position. Then, she looked at Gu Mingchen with a serious expression and said, “Two people get into a relationship because they like each other. Do you think that applies to us?”

The man pursed his lips and looked at her with his deep-set eyes. He was already blue in the face, and the aura that he projected changed along with his mood.

As Bai Rong walked towards the door holding her luggage, Gu Mingchen grabbed her arm. He took a glance at her and said, “I think we do like each other.”

The woman’s heart skipped a beat and looked at him, sizing him up. “I don’t want to just date. If we get together, I want to get married straight away. A soldier cannot get divorced. Do you dare to agree?”

Gu Mingchen was stunned for a moment.

Bai Rong smiled faintly and her eyes were sarcastic. She turned around and looked at the man in his eyes. “I don’t have any more youth to waste. Being in a relationship with Chief is too risky, I don’t have the confidence that our relationship will last. If we get married, I’ll stay by your side for the rest of our lives. You don’t have to give me an answer immediately. Let me know your decision after one month. Think carefully, regret is a bitter pill to swallow.”

She pushed his hand away and walked out of the door. A layer of mist formed on her eyes that reflected the sun’s bright rays.

The woman was too exhausted to play any mind games in a relationship. A tragic ending would be too much for her to bear.

If Song Xiyu and Gu Tianhang found out that she was dating their son, she would probably die a horrible death.

Bai Rong only had two options. Either she severed all ties with Gu Mingchen and started completely anew, or she became his wife. If the die was cast and she bore the title of the chief’s wife, there was nothing his parents could do to hurt her.

As she loved the man deeply in her heart, she chose to give herself one last chance. Regardless of his reasons, as long as he agreed to getting married, she would love him for the rest of her life.

But the woman still felt very aggrieved and afraid.

Bai Rong was scared that she would be hurt ruthlessly to the extent that she would not have any courage left to continue living. She was also worried that their relationship would be destructive to the both of them.

The past memories were like a blade that was slicing her heart. When the words ‘Hailan, I miss you so much’ came out of Gu Mingchen’s mouth, it was so unbearable that Bai Rong wished she could be dead instead.

If the situation remained the same after marriage…

Could she really stay in a marriage where the man she loved was loving another?

The woman was feeling so conflicted. She did not know what she wanted and felt like she was trying to penetrate into a bull’s horn. Her mind was in a mess.

Suddenly, with whatever little rationality that remained of her, Bai Rong realized that something was amiss.

She immediately rummaged through her bag and took out a white plastic bottle. After taking a glance at the label on the bottle, she poured out a tiny black pill with shaky hands and swallowed it. The woman dragged her luggage into a corridor and leaned against the wall. She clenched her fists tightly until she could breathe properly again.

Bai Rong shut her eyes for one minute. When she opened her eyes again, they were blurry at first but the focus gradually returned.

There was only so much a human’s heart could bear. After a certain threshold was crossed, the body would generate harmful substances that would erode one’s nervous systems and cells.

It was nothing like a knife wound that could be healed. In fact, it was almost impossible to recover from that sort of pain.

When the pain crossed the threshold, a human’s natural defense mechanisms would act to preserve oneself and psychosis might arise as a result.

Sufferers of the most common mental disorders would experience delusions and hallucinations. They might display behaviors such as smashing objects, inflicting harm on others, destroying properties, being unfeeling and detached from reality.

Bai Rong’s mom was one such example. After a while, there were other complications that had arisen from her mental illness, such as depression, obsessive–compulsive disorder, insomnia, anorexia, phobias, autistic disorder, personality disorder and dementia.

She did not wish to follow into her mom’s footsteps.

The woman would rather die than to be mentally ill.

After settling into a calmer state of mind, the woman walked out of the corridor.

Even though she was a doctor, she was unable to heal herself. However, she still knew the methods, which was to think positive thoughts, distract herself from the problems, find new joy in life, etc.

When Bai Rong exited from the elevator, she saw Gu Mingchen sitting on the sofa at the rest area and proceeded to the counter to check out.

The man took over her luggage and brought it to the car.

After she had completed the check out procedures, she walked towards the car.

Gu Mingchen opened the door of the passenger seat and said, “I’ll send you to the train station.”

“OK.” Bai Rong said flatly and nodded, then got into the car.

While looking at the road ahead as he drove, Gu Mingchen said, “Even though the killer was caught, the matter cannot be publicized. There are still some loose ends that I have to tie. The deceased should be left in peace while life continues for those who are still living. I need to handle the compensation matters appropriately.”

“All we ask for is a clear conscience.” Bai Rong sighed with understanding and continued, “I never used to believe in fate. I always thought that we create our own destiny and as long as I persevere and work towards my goal, I would be able to achieve anything I want. But the truth is that everything has its own time and some things just cannot be forced no matter how hard you try.”

“Didn’t you say that a clear conscience is important? If you don’t try, how would you have a clear conscience?” Gu Mingchen said meaningfully as he took a glance at the woman’s fair and delicate face.

She had a mild temperament and was not impetuous. Moreover, she also had the kind of looks that grew on people—pretty, elegant and gracious.

“I saw something on the news yesterday. A nineteen-year-old girl had tried to commit suicide by jumping into the river because her boyfriend broke up with her. A boy jumped in to save her. She managed to stay alive in the end but the boy was pulled away by the currents and died instead. Isn’t this fate?” Bai Rong said, feeling sad.

The man held her hand and placed it on his thigh.

His palm felt very warm against her cold palm.

“At the lowest point of my life, I met Su Xuyan. He found me a job and got my mom out of the psychiatric hospital. At that time, I thought my life would take a turn for the better. Now only do I know that our meeting has all along been a conspiracy. And with you, you saved me from the depths of misery and I also thought that I had finally found true happiness. I was willing to give up everything else for that, but life had once again played a cruel joke on me when you lost your memory.” The woman looked at Gu Mingchen as tears streamed down her face.

He gave her hand a squeeze and held it tighter as he furrowed his brows. “I will marry you. After I settle my work, we will go back and get married.”

Bai Rong smiled and looked at him with a gentle gaze. She rubbed away the crease in between his brows while she said, “You are always like that. Responsibility to you is everything. You want to make it up to me because you feel bad for losing your memory. Gu Mingchen, I don’t need that. Go and live the life you desire and don’t be tied down by the past and responsibilities. I will lead a good life even without you.”

“What do you mean by that?” The man was confused. “I am telling you that I am willing to marry you. Do you want to marry me?”