You Owe Me, My Love novel Chapter 204

If that was the case, Bai Rong saw no point in loving someone who did not care about her at all.

With that realization, the woman made a decision. She stood up and walked to the bathroom. Looking at herself in the mirror, she tapped her fingers lightly on the sink and said, “Bai Rong, don’t be sad. Everyone has the right to make their own choices. Whether he chooses you or not is not something you can control. Happiness can’t be forced. If wouldn’t end well if you try to force love. Not only that, you’ll be the one suffering the most. However, as long as you don’t love him, you won’t get hurt and also not be upset by his actions. Who he loves is none of your business. Just remember, no one is obliged to love you in this world so you’ll have to love yourself. Don’t commit suicide, don’t give up, don’t hurt anyone and most importantly, don’t hurt yourself.”

After saying that, Bai Rong retracted her hands and the room became quiet once again.

The next second, her eyes dimmed. Her self-hypnosis did not work. She could still feel her heart aching. The pain was so much that it felt as if a dagger had been pierced into her heart. At the same time, the woman felt that she was extremely pathetic, having to resort to self-hypnosis in order to lessen her pain.

However, she was unable to get into that desired state as she was too aware that she was trying to hypnotize herself.

Bai Rong brushed her teeth and returned to the bed. She closed her eyes and forced herself not to think about anything, but her heart was still aching.

She picked up her phone and called a random number.

It did not matter which city the other party was from. Gender or age was not an issue as well. She just wanted to vent to a stranger, hoping that she would feel better after that.

Someone picked up after three rings.

“Hello, who’s this?” A male voice sounded. He had a deep voice which sounded calm and mature.

“Hello, am I interrupting anything?” Bai Rong asked apologetically.

“What’s the matter?” The stranger asked bluntly.

Bai Rong felt that she had acted too impulsively. Initially, she thought that she would feel better after ranting to a stranger. However, she realized that she wasn’t able to say anything at all.

“Sorry to have disturbed,” Bai Rong said and quickly hung up.

But the other party called back and said in an impatient tone, “Just tell me what it is!”

“I just wanted to talk to a stranger.”

“You are crazy.”

The corners of Bai Rong’s lips curled up as she heard that and tears welled up in her eyes. She said plainly, “Yup, I’m crazy. I have a mental illness. I have had a few relapses since I came back to the country. I’m not aware of my actions whenever I smash objects onto the ground. After I finish doing that, I’ll feel so drained of energy and suddenly snap back to my senses. That’s when I know that I had a nervous breakdown again.”

“You too?” The stranger asked suspiciously.

Too? Bai Rong suddenly felt like laughing when she heard him use that word.

She could hardly believe that the stranger whom she had randomly called was also suffering from mental illness.

What kind of fate is this!

“My first husband married me out of revenge. It was three years of marriage without sex for me and he would hook up with different women every day. We eventually got divorced. Then, I fell in love with another man who had saved me from danger a few times. He confessed his feelings for me and it was mutual. After that, he lost his memories from an accident. He forgot all about me and only remembered his ex-girlfriend. I fell into despair and committed suicide. However, someone saved me, and after seeing how hurt my loved ones were by what I did; I suddenly realized that my death would only cause my loved ones pain, and my enemies would gloat over it. As such, I chose to go overseas to study psychology.”

“It was during that time that I found out that I’m mentally ill. By studying psychology, I wanted to help myself. However, after I became a renowned psychologist, I managed to cure others but not myself. I ended up marrying that man who lost his memories and on the first day after we got married, I saw him with another woman. I’m feeling so heartbroken that I wish I didn’t have a heart. Maybe I won’t be suffering if that was the case. I tried using self-hypnosis but it didn’t work.” After Bai Rong poured out all her grievances, she managed to feel slightly better.

However, the man on the other end of the phone remained silent.

“Thanks for lending me a listening ear. It’s late now and I shouldn’t disturb you any further. You should rest early too. Late nights are not good for health,” Bai Rong said softly.

“Are you a psychologist?” the man asked.

Bai Rong thought that she should repay the man in some way for listening to her rants and replied, “I’m a psychologist who’s unable to help myself. If you trust me, I can give you some advice for free.”

“I’m quite hot-tempered and when I’m angry I tend to smash things on the floor. I’ll also take it out on the people close to me such as my parents, brother, and girlfriend. Everyone has turned their backs against me now. I feel like none of my employees like me either. Sometimes I feel like making a change, but I can’t seem to do it. I overheard my employees calling me ‘devil’, ‘madman’ and even ‘pervert’ behind my back,” the man said in a troubled tone.

From his voice, Bai Rong was quite sure that he wasn’t sleeping yet when she called.

The man was in a quiet environment and he had a deep and steady voice. It did not seem like he had been drinking.

“You’re staying alone and even though it’s already midnight, you’re still working. You take your work seriously and you’re a very responsible person. You’re also a sensitive person who have experienced glory, gone through setbacks and have been looked down upon. You can be rather conceited and are very ambitious. You care a lot about others’ opinions of you and that usually drains you of your energy. When you lose your temper, it’s usually because your employees are unable to meet your expectations or you feel like you’re very far away from your goal. You might also think that you’re a failure and that is what you wish to avoid the most,” Bai Rong analyzed.

“Wow! Do you know me?” The man was astonished at her evaluation.

“I don’t know you. Also, you think that people are always secretly judging you but these people don’t care about you at all and you’re merely the subject of their random gossips. Those who truly care about you are those who still show you concern and stay by your side even after being scolded by you. In fact, you do have such people around you.”

The man listened to Bai Rong quietly.

“If one day, you become very successful and want to brag about your success to the world, you’ll realize that no one would care about it. Even if you found someone to share your success stories with, no one would be willing to truly listen to you, especially those whom you had known earlier or even people who had looked down on you previously. Do you know why is that?” Bai Rong asked the man.

“Because my success would upset them and make them jealous.” The man understood what Bai Rong was driving at.

“Yup, that’s human nature. Not only will they not admire you, they’ll be jealous of you or even hate you for that. In order to succeed, you gave it your all and in the process, hurt your loved ones. However, what you get in return will be people’s hatred. Do you think it’s worth it?” Bai Rong explained.

“I think what you just said makes a lot of sense.”

“Just don’t be too extreme and strike a good balance in life. While you’re trying to build your career, you should also strive to lead a wholesome life at the same time. If what you do benefits others, they will help you in return when you need help. Naturally, everyone will wish for your success as they know that they will have something to gain from that. Sometimes, it’s good to slow down a little. Making mistakes might not be a bad thing. Sometimes, they serve as a lesson. With such experiences we accumulate along the way, our successes would be more grounded and long-lasting,” Bai Rong advised in a soft tone.

“I feel a lot better after listening to you and I’m no longer depressed. If you can treat others, why can’t you do that for yourself too?”

“I don’t know,” Bai Rong answered and at the same time, her phone rang.

She took a glance at the screen and realized it was Gu Mingchen.