You Owe Me, My Love novel Chapter 263

Chapter 263 Gu Mingchen In The Mirror

“I’ll do it. As long as you stay with me, I’ll do anything for you. You know that I’m being serious, don’t you?” Su Xuyan replied lovingly.

Tilting her head, Bai Rong asked, “You’ll really do anything for me?”

“Anything.” There was not the slightest hint of hesitation in Su Xuyan’s voice.

“Hmph. Alright. I’ll go to the bathroom for a bit first.” She got up and left. Looking at the gorgeous reflection of herself in the mirror, she saw the uncertainty in her own eyes.

She sank into deep thought. Things that she had learned about love flashed across her head. She once read that love could be equated to dopamine in terms of chemical elements. A person in love would feel overwhelmed by a sweet sense of warmth from that chemical as if the world had turned into a fantasy land. All that couples in love would see was the good in each other, and all that they would feel was the longing for each other when they were apart.

However, the effects of the dopamine would be flushed out of one’s system eventually due to metabolic activity. A relationship that ran on only dopamine would last for three months at most.

After three months, the key to maintaining a romantic relationship would shift from their chemistry to their morals, sense of responsibility, and attitudes toward life.

Rationality would have to be prioritized over emotions. One would have to consider the dynamics of the relationship and think more deeply about the good and bad of one’s partner.

The criteria for a lifetime partner would be much stricter than that of a short-term lover. With increasing unmet expectations and their partner’s flaws coming to light, couples would find themselves fighting more often. Their relationship might take a fatal blow from all the fighting and thus come to an end. With that, a new romantic journey fuelled by dopamine would begin.

So, what’s the reason that I’m falling deeper and deeper in love with Mingchen? Dopamine? And, why does Su Xuyan say that he loves me?

“Rong.” Gu Mingchen’s voice pulled Bai Rong back to reality.

Bai Rong did a double-take upon seeing Gu Mingchen’s face in the mirror.

“Why are you here?” Gu Mingchen asked, walking closer to her.

Bai Rong furrowed her brows. Turning around to face Gu Mingchen, she said, “I think I’ve already made myself very clear. You’re Bai Rong’s source of pain and suffering. Let’s stay away from each other from now on. Even if we do meet, I shall act as if you’re just a stranger.”

With that, Bai Rong hastily made her way out of the bathroom.

However, Gu Mingchen quickly stood before her and blocked her way. Pushing her against the wall, he said, “I’m Bai Rong’s source of pain and suffering, but what about you?”

Bai Rong swallowed. Looking up at Gu Mingchen with a confused look, she asked, “What are you trying to say?”

“You know how Bai Rong feels about me better than anyone else. After all, you’ve always supported her through everything she has experienced. You know her the best, so let me ask you. Does Bai Rong want to be with me?” Gu Mingchen’s eyes were burning with passion.

Clenching her fists, Bai Rong forced out a few words. “You two are not meant to be.”

“Why not?” Gu Mingchen retorted with a pained expression.

Raising her face a little, Bai Rong replied, “I think it should be rather clear by now. Bai Rong is still drowning in her past trauma. Every second of her life feels like torture, and there’s simply too heavy of a burden on her shoulders. She’s sick… direly sick. And she’s almost at breaking point. Maybe… she’ll turn out like her mother in the end… Maybe she’ll be spending the rest of her life in a hospital… “

Bai Rong’s voice cracked. After a moment of silence, she continued, “Just as she lost her last sense of hope and sanity, she got me to take over while she sank into a deep sleep. I’m just a fragment of her soul who knows nothing about emotions. I don’t feel love… I don’t have love, but I can’t feel pain either. I don’t need the anti-depressants, nor do I struggled to sleep at night. I think… she’s never coming back… And I’ll never fall in love with you.”

Gu Mingchen felt as if a nail had been hammered into his heart. His eyes darkening, he let go of Bai Rong.

He had not seen it coming. He would rather Bai Rong hide her feelings for him than turn into someone else.

What… what should I do?

As he stood there silently as if in a trance, Bai Rong walked away from him. Before she left, she turned back and said, “Bai Rong wishes for you to live a happy life with Zhou Hailan. She genuinely thinks that. I wish you a successful, happy life. If you truly love her, you should respect her wishes.”

“Doesn’t she know that I can never be happy without her?” Gu Mingchen’s voice was raspy.

Bai Rong smiled bitterly. “You’re a responsible man. Zhou Hailan has birthed your child, so you should marry her. Love that runs on pure dopamine does not last. Love can run out too. Even married couples can fall in and out of love over time. That’s just life.”

“Aren’t you being a little too pessimistic about life? Many in this world, past or present, have committed themselves to a lifelong relationship of love! Bai Rong, don’t lose hope in life!” Gu Mingchen looked worried.

Shrugging and averting Gu Mingchen’s gaze, Bai Rong replied, “If you experienced the same things as she did, you wouldn’t be able to say those words, so just let go and live your own life. I don’t want to hurt you, but I will if you continue to bother me.”

Those were her last words before she strode off.

Gu Mingchen simply stared at her despondently as she disappeared into the crowd. She looked dignified but cold, like a lonely warrior.

He somewhat knew about Bai Rong’s past.

She had a dark childhood. She witnessed her mother being forced by her father to take drugs and her mother getting divorced with her very own eyes. All that she could recall from the days she spent living with her mother was her mother cutting their wrists in that old bathtub in their house.

She had crawled out once to the door but could not think of a place to go. In the end, their neighbors found the two of them in the bathtub and saved their lives.

Her mother was sent to an asylum, while she was sent to an orphanage.

When she finally grew up to be a financially independent adult, she finally got her mother out of the asylum. However, things took a turn for the worst when she got kidnapped and raped on the day before her wedding. It was a scheme planned by her fiancé’s ex-girlfriend.

Since then, her life had gone downhill. Her newborn child was taken away from her less than a week after birth.

In her three years of marriage, she experienced nothing but betrayal and sleepless nights alone.

After all that while, he finally appeared in her life, but their relationship came with a cost – she lost her job and a finger. Soon after, he lost his memories. She was absolutely devastated when she found out that he could only remember Zhou Hailan.

That was when she attempted suicide. The suicide was unsuccessful. Afterward, she picked herself up and began learning psychology. Just as it seemed as if fate was bringing them together once more, her hopes were again crushed.

Understandably, all that she felt toward the world around her was disappointment and sorrow, but he did not want to let go just yet. He was willing to put his life on the line just to prove to her that there was still some hope in life. He wanted to stay with her, no matter what becomes of her.

Meanwhile, Bai Rong had returned to her seat. The waiter had already served four dishes.

Without saying a word, she looked down and ate the sticky rice dumplings.

Su Xuyan scooped a braised pork ball into her bowl. “You should eat a little more. You’re way too skinny now.”

“Yeah.” Bai Rong took a bite of the braised pork ball. “Su Xuyan, how did you find out that Xing Bachuan was the one who killed your father?” She said all of a sudden with an eerily calm face.