Caged Between the beta and alpha novel Chapter 76

Quickly , I switched routes , heading towards the pack headquarters before I changed my mind .

I stopped at the entrance and looked at the guards .

” I wish to speak to Liam .

” I said quietly , not missing the way they looked at my mark .

My stomach churned and I realised that what someone wore with pride , had become something awful for me , something to be leered and gawked at like a spectacle in a zoo .

I moved : my hair forward , covering it .

They opened the door , allowing me inside .

Another guard escorted me through the halls , unlocking the next door and leading me to the cells .

My heart thudded when w e slowed down .

” Do you wish to talk from outside miss or inside ? ” I don’t know …

” Outside is fine .

” I said quietly , my stomach twisting .

I can’t do this … I can’t … Breathe … I stopped when I saw him , sitting in one o f the cells on the bed .

His eyes were closed , his back against the wall .

He looked as handsome as ever , dressed in a plain white tee and grey sweatpants , his hair was falling in his eyes and my chest squeezed , the memory of him biting into my neck sent a shudder down my spine .

Was it the sane Liam or the dark Liam sitting there ? As if sensing me watching him , his eyes snapped open and I stared at him , my heart racing .

I balled my fists in a n attempt to stop shaking .

I waited as the guards opened up a small narrow square window in the netrable glass walls of the room .

I could hear his heart thundering through the opening , his eyes locked with mine and I realised I felt … scared , sick , tense , broken and anguished .

The very realisation made me step back , I saw the guilt in his eyes before he looked I came here .

But what am I here to say ? I couldn’t do it … I thought I could .

… …….

He stood up and walked over to the window , his eyes that were filled with a thousand emotions met mine .

” I … ” I couldn’t speak .

” Nothing I say can undo what I did , what I let my anger do .

I shouldn’t have lost it … but I did and look at the consequences .

” He said quietly .

Not once did his gaze go to my neck , and through the bond , I could feel his anguish and his pain .

I knew that dark Liam was in there … ready to take over at any moment .

In sudden clarity , I realised what I needed to do .

Even if it hurt him a little , I needed t o tell him the truth .

My heart skipped a beat and I looked at him , needing to get my thoughts out there .

” A woman wears the mark of her mate with pride and happiness .

We want the world to know we are claimed and happy … I have dreamt of you marking me , countless times … but never had I ever thought it would be like this .

” I said quietly , trying to control the sadness in m y voice .

It hurt telling him that , knowing that right now it wasn’t the dark Liam I was talking to but the Liam who held no account of what he did .

It didn’t make this pain go away though .

” I didn’t either .

I can’t use the curse as an excuse ...

That’s like saying I got drunk and assaulted someone but since I don’t remember … I’m not at fault .

” I get that .

This wasn’t just going to go away , it was going to take time .

” I let my anger and jealousy take over and jumped to assumptions the moment I saw that picture .

” Liam said quietly .

Picture ? ” What picture ? ” ” It doesn’t matter , it was just something that was posted under my door .

I don’t deserve you and I can’t take back what I have done … but I can set you free .

” ” What are you- ” ” I Liam Westwood , reje- ” ” Stop it ! ” I shouted , my eyes blazing in anger and pain as I felt the pull at my chest .

How could he ? He closed his eyes and all I felt was his agony , his fists trembling slightly .

” Raven it’s for-

” ” I said stop ! ” How dare he ! ” Don’t make my decisions for me ! Just … Let me do what I want ! ” I shouted angrily .

He frowned .

” You are better off without me .

” He said quietly .

” What I did was unforgivable .

If w e reject one another , it’s for the best .

” ” I’ll reject you when I want to ! ” That was my decision to make , not his .

Yes , I’m hurting .

Yes , I’m angry .

Yes , I’m broken , but I still love him .

Although I didn’t know what the future held … I would do things for my happiness … and make my decisions for me .

I would also break this curse , not for my mate , but for one of my best friends .

The Liam of my childhood .

” Open the door .

” I said to the guard .

He hesitated but I didn’t care , glaring at him until he obliged .

I stepped inside and he shut it , watching us apprehensively .

” I know you have been jealous and angry a t the entire situation , but Damon and I weren’t sneaking around that day .

We were about to reject one another .

” I said quietly .

His eyes widened in shock as he stared at me , as if seeing me for the first time .

The realisation of the truth sinking in followed by the look of pure regret .

” Yeah … ” I said quietly , turning away .

I could tell from just looking at him that h e would always regret those actions of his and the guilt would always remain .

” I am sorry … Although it can do nothing to help the pain I’ve put you through .

” He added quietly , I could hear him trying to stay strong , to make his voice sound emotionless but I could hear it , feel it … I stared ahead , my heart squeezing painfully .

” Maybe someday I’ll be able to accept it and I know that I’ll forgive you for it , but forgiveness and forgetting something are two different things .

” A part of me was telling me to stop , that I was hurting him , but I also knew I needed to do this for me , to share what I was feeling .

” I love you , Liam , and as your friend … I’ll be here for you , and we will work on this curse .

” But more than that … I don’t know … I really don’t know … What I did know was that I needed to heal myself first .

I needed to stop just tolerating and living with whatever I was given . I realise …

I won’t be able to make anyone else happy if I myself wasn’t happy .

I looked back at him , at the man I loved .

M y chest squeezed painfully , I needed to stop thinking of him as the young Liam but see him for who he is , to see the goodness in him now and acknowledge his faults too .

Only then can I really make any kind of decision .

He didn’t speak .

I walked out of the cell , each footstep echoing in my ears , the sound of our beating hearts and breathing loud in my ear .

We could have done things differently …

I could have been more firm , I should never have strung Damon along when I was only hurting him .

I knew deep down that h e was only getting hurt and in the process , it only pushed Liam further .

I needed to stop behaving like a child and face every obstacle in life , no matter how painful they are .

I needed to , for me .