Freed: Fifty Shades Freed as told by Christian

Chapter 32

“Christian! Christian!” Her voice is urgent, pulling me from the depths of my nightmare, and my despair. “I’m here. I’m here,” she cries.

I wake and Ana’s leaning over me, grasping my shoulders, shaking me, her face taut with anguish, eyes wide and brimming with tears.

“Ana.” My voice is a hoarse whisper, the taste of fear tarnishing my mouth. “You’re here.”

“Of course I’m here.”

“I had a dream.”

“I know. I’m here, I’m here.”

“Ana.” Her name is an incantation on my lips, a talisman against the dark, choking panic coursing through my body.

“Hush, I’m here.” She curls around me, her limbs cocooning mine, her warmth seeping into my soul, forcing back the shadows, forcing back the fear. She is sunshine, she is light. She is mine.

“Please, let’s not fight.” I wrap my arms around her.

“Okay.”

“The vows. No obeying. I can do that. We’ll find a way.” The words rush out of my mouth in a tumble of emotion and confusion and anxiety.

“Yes. We will. We’ll always find a way,” Ana whispers, and her lips are on mine, silencing me, bringing me back to the now.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Dr. Flynn rubs his chin and I don’t know if he’s playing for time or genuinely intrigued. “She threatened to leave?”

“Yes.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes.”

“So, you capitulated.”

“I didn’t have much choice.”

“Christian, you always have a choice. Do you think Anastasia was being unreasonable?”

I meet his gaze and want to shout

That’s you, Grey.

Unreasonable could be your middle name. Ana’s

Christ, my negativity is a real prick

“How are you feeling now?” Flynn asks.

“Wary,” I whisper, and my admission is a jab to the

She could leave me.

“Ah. Your feelings of insecurity and abandonment are coming to the fore again.”

I remain mute, distracted by the sliver of afternoon light that brightens the cluster of mini orchids on his coffee table. What can I say? I don’t want to admit this

“Is it giving you second thoughts about the wedding?” John asks.

No. Maybe.

I’m afraid she’ll hurt me.

“No,” I answer, because I don’t want to lose

He nods, as if this is what he wants to hear. “You’ve relinquished a great deal for her.”

“I have.” I stifle my indulgent smile. “She’s a good negotiator.”

Flynn rubs his chin again. “Do you resent that?”

“Yes. Partly. I’ve given so much and she won’t give me this.”

“You sound like you’re mad at her.”

“I am.”

“Have you thought about telling her that?”

“How mad I am? No.”

“Why not?”

“I’m worried I’ll say something I’ll regret and she’ll leave. She left once before.”

“But you

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