Love Me in the Dark

RIVER

Krew calmed down a little bit. His cold hands stopped from shaking, but I could still see the horror in his eyes that I wished I could take it away, but how would I if I didn’t know the reason? Perhaps, a traumatic childhood? My heart ached for him. Poor boy. I couldn’t even begin to imagine a boy Krew looked frightened.

I wished he could just share it with me. I wanted to know him deeper, and I was willing to gamble and share something with him. I had hope that he would open up to me, but I knew sharing something that we wished didn’t happen was difficult, especially to someone we barely knew. It was just unfair that he seemed to know a lot about me while I knew nothing about him.

I wanted to trust him despite everything that had happened between us. I wanted to trust him with everything, but how? When he couldn’t even consider me as his friend?

“You’ll be okay.” I ran my thumb on his cheek as I kept my gaze on his beautiful terrified eyes. It was somewhat alarming how I could easily see how vulnerable he was. I guessed he let me in this time. He let me in even for a moment like this. So I let my guard down.

Courage pulsated through me. “There’s no reason for you to be scared. It can’t hurt you. It can never hurt you, and I am here. I would never leave beside you,” I reassured him despite there was no guarantee. I still wanted to help him even in return, I earned nothing.

“I-I know.” He finally let go of a deep and long shuddering breath. “Don’t leave me, River.” I felt the grip loosening from him, and I let his hand go. He tentatively reached out to my face. “I know you won’t leave me.” His voice dropped to a whisper. He moistened his lips as he dropped his gaze down to my face, settling on my lips. Tension suddenly thickened in the air, filling the room.

Then I felt that I knew what would happen next. I forced to suppress a shudder, but the anticipation had made my sense hypersensitive--his breaths sounded louder. My heart thudded against my chest as he ran his thumb on my cheek down to my lips.

Heat radiated through my flesh as I watched his reaction—his pupils dilated, darkened even more—almost obsidian.

His gaze darted back to my eyes, then dropped down to my lips again. He hadn’t kissed me yet, but the anticipation of feeling and tasting those lips again was killing me. Oh, god. I was burning and melting inside.

Just do it, Krew.

He sighed heavily in relief, and he just killed my anticipation into the icy cold as he released his hands, looked out the dark window, and inspected if the rain had stopped.

Buzzkill.

I inwardly groaned and leaned against the desk. I now felt the cold of the floor against my skin. What was I thinking? He was drunk when he first kissed me, and right now, he wasn’t. There was no way he would kiss me even if he was scared shitless.

He hadn’t said anything, and I couldn’t say anything as well. My skin was still vibrating with our almost kiss encounter. I was in heat like a cat not a moment ago, and now I was chilling cold.

I got the cue. When I got my courage back, and he seemed okay, I rose to my feet and walked out of the office before I could curse the hell out of him and break our arrangement. The worse part was, he didn’t even stop me.

I drew the curtain and got back to bed. A few moments later, before I put myself in slumber, I heard a soft knock on my door.

a key, Krew. I’m lazy to get up,” I yelled enough for him to hear me. I was optimistic. I knew it was

light from the hallway entered the room, then

he said. His

I could sense his closeness. I

the

“And?”

pushed beyond my limit.” He sounded regretful. Is that how he called it now? Screw

here because?” I still didn’t

that I didn’t stop

said it yourself

the rain, but I wasn’t okay for making a

it by now. It wasn’t

moved, the next thing I knew, his hand was draping

work, right?” How stupid? This was exactly what I wanted,

Try harder. Maybe

“Krew—”

stay here for tonight, River. I promise I won’t do anything stupid.” Oh, please do more than stupid things like touching me, kissing the hell out of my stupidity, and this time, I won't stop you. “I keep myself out of

turned to face him and meet

the ceiling. “I don’t wanna talk about it.” He became cagey

just open up while you get your choice not to. Whatever those stupid things you wanted to do would only remain stupid. I could see it in your eyes that you wanted me, but if you won’t trust me or share a

eventful night more eventful. Haha, a girl could dream. Maybe we could cuddle till morning, but it turned out to

“Good night, River.”

was leaving. “Suit

don’t wanna

trust me and won’t ever trust me. Then there’s nothing much to

can see me through the dark, River.

not telling you to drop everything into me. You could just say, you’re not ready, and I'm fine with

deeply.

it?”