Love Me in the Dark

RIVER

I think I’m gonna be sick. I have to get out of here.

I bolted out of the penthouse. A cry of horror escaped my lips as I sprinted inside the elevator. I punched the L button with shaky fingers and slid my body against the wall as it brought me down. Once I reached the lobby, I ran towards my car and unlocked the door. I finally got inside, slammed the door shut, and revved the engine.

Through the rearview mirror, I watched Lake standing there until he vanished from my sight.

I couldn’t remember how I got off there safe and not getting into any kind of accident. I parked my car in front of my apartment building, and I had no idea what to do next. I cried over there for I didn’t know how long. I screamed out of frustration and heartache. I bellowed my stupidity until I had no tears left to cry.

When I calmed down a little bit, I took my phone and stared at the contact list. I couldn’t decide which one to call first— Journey, Krys, or Kai. Then I hit the one that I had not talked to in a long time.

He picked up right away as if he was waiting for someone’s call. “Hello?”

I shut my eyes close as I said hoarsely, “Hi, Dad. It’s me, River.”

“I know, honey. I happen only to have a daughter. I missed you so much, honey. When can I see you?”

“I’m coming home.”

“That’s wonderful news. I’ll text you the address. I can’t wait to see you, honey. It’s been more than four years, and I’ve been longing to have my daughter back.”

“I still know the address, Dad.” I laughed in between sobs.

“I don’t live there anymore.”

“What do you mean?” My eyes widened in horror. “What happened to your house?”

“We can talk about this when you’re here. I’ll text you the address.”

After three hours, I was standing at my dad’s new home. It was a two-story modern farmhouse. The old family car parked in front just confirmed that my father did live here.

I stood frozen when he walked out. I was torn between running and launching into him or running away instead. My eyes started to get blurry as he took a few steps and then stop merely an arm's length. My knees gave out.

“River,” that was all he said before he pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly.

“Dad.” I felt a sob working its way up my throat. My body shook as I wrapped my arms around him.

When we pulled apart, all I could do was stared at him in disbelief while he was smiling at me. He looked old, might have lost a few pounds, with graying hair at the sides of his head, but I still remembered the same face I left years ago.

“You look beautiful, honey. Just like your mom. I watched your videos, and I was so happy that you got to hold an instrument again.”

you. Can we

wrapped an arm around my

one of the sofas. I noticed pictures of me, Mom, and him

“You live alone here?”

Are you hungry?” He occupied the loveseat

happened to

“I sold it.”

to get weepy again. I had

got sick, and the treatment was expensive. I used all the savings I had, but it wasn’t

finally fell from my eyes. “Why didn’t you tell

off, River. You also were not doing well with your last job. I don’t wanna be a burden. And you went away

have just called me. I would be here in a heartbeat. You needed me, Dad. How did you get through all of that alone?” I started

help, from old friends,

“Your bandmate?”

“Yeah.”

thought he’s

“Not financially.”

the strong knot of guilt in my belly as I looked at his

I gave up trying to help him cope with his loss. He stopped drinking, then was

away from each other’s for a

alcohol-related liver disease. Thankfully, there’s this young

a

Three years and six

shivered as I looked at Dad. “Who is

while

feel I knew this young man he was talking about? “Is he—oh, god.” I wasn’t able to continue talking.

River. I’m in good health right

looked at him, hoping he would give me a direct answer. “Dad, is

He’s a wonderful young man.” He looked way. There was something in his gesture that he hid from me. Then he looked at me again. “I’d never met a young

I pushed you out of my life when you came to me, and you were

last for a few hours. I think things happen for a reason. We both meant to be there in that hospital at the same time. Krew visited me in my ward. He looked like he was carrying the world over his shoulders. I wasn’t aware they just brought his dad who had his second heart attack. Then he asked me if what’s my problem. When I told him the whole story, how I lost my wife, my band, my daughter because of my addiction, he made me swear not to hold a bottle again. He promised he would help

“How about this house?”

in one of his cause. Cassiel Foundation. At first, I work in maintenance.

why did you not

see it through his eyes. How he felt guilty

and not abandoning you. I was the shittiest daughter, and it won’t