Masters And Lovers 1-4

The morning is chaotic. In theory, Michael and I, Richard and the guests occupy the hotel. Charlotte and Beth have the house. In practice, people mill about in all directions, turning up in unexpected places….

Still in jeans and tee-shirt while I make a last check on preparations, I eject a couple of kids from the kitchen where the chef’s knife set seems to be a magnet for them. Then as I turn to leave, I run into an old lady trying to force the larder door open.

“I was only looking for the ladies’ toilets….”

“And who are you?”

“I’m Michael’s Aunty Gladys”

“Well, I’m James, his Best Man, and you’ll find the toilets along the corridor.” Taking her by the shoulders, I turn her around, steering her to aim the right way, then wait and watch to be sure she toddles off.

In the bedroom we’re using as a changing room, Michael looks harassed. “Please tell me you remembered to lock the door to the cellars in the house.”

“Oh, yes. We don’t want random wanderers down there,” I flash brows, fishing out my keys, jingle them in demonstration, then tuck them safely back in my pocket. “All locked and secure.”

Jeez….

The idea of Ben wandering down there….

For someone normally so sunny, so self-contained, so competent, Michael is a bag of nerves. He misbuttons his shirt and has to unfasten then rebutton it. The tie dangling under his collar, he fumbles and mis-knots it. The front ends up three inches long with the back half trailing by his belt. The result looks like something worn by a circus clown.

He tries again, with a similar result.

“I’ll do it for you in a sec,” I say, brushing specks of dust from his dark grey formal jacket.

“Here, let me.” It’s Ben. “Come on Bro. Calm down.” Michael shoots him a grateful glance as Ben unravels the tie, then reknots it into a perfect Windsor. “You should have a drink. What is there around here?”

I point to a bottle and glasses. “Scotch over there.”

“Don’t think I could handle

have some breakfast

“Yes, he should. I’ll bring something

by

about bacon sandwiches all

so I interrupt. “Great idea, Ben. Get

*****

brother, I go to check the

corridor by the kitchens, I find a girl wandering. She seems familiar, but

me and breaks into a simpering smile.

Ah, gotcha.

Charlotte’s friend from the student

her arms around in time-honoured ‘dumb-blonde’ fashion. Personally, I’ve never found blondes to

point. “The public areas are down there and to the left. And if you want the bathrooms, they’re to the right.” I turn to for the kitchen,

lucky to marry someone like Michael. He's terribly handsome isn't

occurs. “Is

She wrinkles her nose….

Who actually does that…?

Me ‘n Pete split up.

Sensible lad….

winning look. And I look down into eyes quite devoid of a single original thought. “Are you with anyone

Oh, crap….

Man. I….” I'm saved from answering further by a crashing sound. Metal clanks and clangs from

care what

…. Perfect….