Not Your Mate Anymore novel Chapter 37

"How do juggle being the moon goddess and this pack's luna?" I ask, sitting with my mother and Josey in my garden, on the lush green grass. 

"Well, you will have to put one over the other and it's not like you can just not be the moon goddess." Josey says. Mother shakes her head no in disagreement. 

"Your title as luna has no place in your life anymore. You are the moon goddess. So from being the alpha female of this pack, you csme to being the alpha female of the entire wolf population. Xander will have to run the pack without you, I'm afraid." Mother says with a stern face, looking straight at me. 

"He was doing well before I got here anyway. I just can't imagine being away from him. I just got my love story and now I have to go on saving the world." I say sadly. 

Josey hugs me from behind as my mother gently squeezes my hand. 

"Many people have to figure out what they're meant to do in this world, humans have to date a few frogs before they find their prince charming but you, your destiny was already written. Yes, Ethia tried to rewrite fate but that's the thing about fate, you can delay or prolong it but you can not change it. Your life's destiny was chosen for you and I understand you were ripped of the joy of figuring life out as a teenager and as a new mom, the Joy that love brings but you forget how much you survived to just be here. Xander stuck by you every step of the way and I'm mad impressed with that young alpha! He can take his beast and let you lead? We need more alpha's like him." My mother says and I smile at the mention of my man. 

My Xander. 

"So, how do I go about this?" I ask my mother. 

"You'll have to learn our ways. You will have to be trained on how to care for your wolves and choose the right mates for them. This will take some time but it needs to be done." Mother says and sigh loudly. 

"Are you saying I'm going back to school?" I ask with my voice raised. 

Mother gives me the eye and I look down sheepishly. 

"I'm sorry Sabrina but the way of the earth is not our way. You need to learn our way and prove yourself to the one's that will serve under you." My mother says. Josey perks up, confusion clear in her eyes. 

"Isn't it her birthright to be the moon goddess? What must she prove?" Josey asks. 

"If Ethia could challenge us and rule for a time, someone else will too. Gods have their own wars too and we can be greedy as humans or the very wolves on this earth. The only difference is, we are much stronger and gifted. Most wolves have to mate with a different kind, say witches to have a chance at having hybrid children. You, Sabrina, are the true goddess but if the gods are not happy with you, that will open up a lot of chances for the people who want to take you down and believe me, they will try." My mother says. 

Just when I thought I was done fighting. Just when I thought all I had to do was sit on some chair and watch little pups be born, put two wolves together and now I had to go prove myself, fight for what is rightfully mine and sleep with one eye open. 

Just great! 

"Well that's just great." I say in a whisper but I know all too well that Josey and mother heard me. 

"I know you've been through a lot but they won't care what the little earthlings put you through. That is a different world up there and I just want  you to walk in with your guard up." Mother says pulling me in for a hug. 

Josey joins us as we hug. 

"I just want to be with Xander. Can't I choose you as the goddess while I enjoy life for a little bit with Xander here?" I ask, making Josey and mother to burst in to fits of giggles. 

 

Hunter and Anthony join us as the two continue laughing at me. 

"You are the only one that can fulfill that role. I know you feel it inside of you. That need to protect everyone, the need to right the Wrongs and punish the wicked. That is the goddess in you." Hunter says to me. 

I know the feeling. The way I wanted to punish Max and his pack for what they put me through and the way they've been handling things, not abiding to the laws put in place for every wolf to live by. 

I am also deeply disappointed in Max. I thought I knew him but I was wrong. He was not the mate of an alpha couple so it makes sense he would run the pack with his emotions. Father of my child or not, he had to answer to his actions. 

Is he suffering enough after everything? I'm not convinced. Now, the big question is, if Max is not the true alpha of his pack, is Adrastos the true heir? Can he take on the role of alpha and rule the way an alpha should? 

I have to look at this as the moon goddess and not as his mother. With my bloodline, he will be the most feared alpha but if I have to live up there, he has to live there too. He is a part of the first family too and it is vital he learns the ways of that world too. 

Obviously Anthony will take after Hunter, then his children but if he does not have sons in future, Anthony would have to hand over the reigns to my son and if I don't have a girl, I can only hope Anthony will so I can pass down my gifts to her. 

This was giving me a headache and to top it all off, I have to go to some godly school to learn the ways I didn't even know existed. I have to play catch up when I've missed so many years. 

"One thing you won't have to worry about are your combat skills. You're a true fighter and your strength is incredible!" Anthony says to me  and I smile. 

Finally, something I'm good at. 

"Well that's a relief!" I say and Josey giggles. 

"You still need to brush up on a few things and learn some more skills to better protect yourself." Hunter says and Anthony rolls his eyes. 

"Father, you are really killing the excitement here." Anthony says and throws me a big smile. 

"You and I both missed out on a lot. Father kept me in hiding too so I'll be starting school with you. You're not alone in this twin." Anthony says to me and my smile grows bigger. 

"You are going to this training center too?" I ask with some excitement at the fact that my brother will be starting off with me too. 

He nods his head yes. 

"Anthony is a little more advanced than you Sabrina. He will have different classes to you as Hunter raised him, teaching him our ways and laws. You, unfortunately are in the dark with everything." My mother says and the excitement dies down. 

"And that's not my fault! I was thrown on earth to be raised by people who know nothing about where I come from. Mother, you left me here without any books or knowledge of anything! You might've been protecting me but it looks like you just set me back. You all waited for me to come of age or break in to my power to come for me but if you all really wanted me, you would've found me. Ethia found me first, I could call out to you in my dreams and yet none of you sought me out! Now I must drop everything, everything I've ever known to go to some god school and learn to be a goddess. I must accept my fate and trust that you, complete strangers to me that are apparently  my family! I'm sorry but I was raised to see things on the positive side and if you want me to willingly go up there and play god, you'll need a different approach. Come on Josey." I say and I stand up to leave. 

 

Josey quickly follows after me. Trying her hardest to keep up with me. 

I honestly didn't mean to be rude but I don't know these people. I was raised by my father, a beta! Whom I have not seen since I recovered. I stopped and turned to Josey, 

"We are going to pay dad a visit." I say and we disappear and appear in dad's office at our old house back at Blue Moon. 

I have not been in this office since the time Percy was in here with his father and he told me it was a good thing I was leaving as his wolf wouldn't recognize Ralyn. 

Josey grabs my hand gently and I smile at her. 

Was I sad? Yes. I was sad because I could feel everyone's emotions on that day. My step mother's guilt, my father's anger. CJ's anger was insane, if only he knew he was stronger than Percy. Percy's sadness was the worst of it. He was shattered! 

I could feel his heart aching in this very room. He wanted me as his mate not Ralyn but why go with his father's wishes then? Why agree to be with that babysitter if his heart truly wanted me? 

"Something doesn't add up Josey. I can feel everyone's emotions on that day. Percy's sadness is by far the worst of all. He was dying of sadness sitting on this chair, it is just so overwhelming. If he felt so deeply for me, then why did he agree to be with her? I don't understand." I say and Josey walks around the office, tapping her index finger on her chin. 

"Is this the moon goddess in you or are your feelings for Percy making a come back?" Josey asks me and I roll my eyes. 

"He is not my true mate. This is probably the moon goddess in me talking." I say as I sit down on the chair Percy was seated on. Trying my hardest to try figure out what was going on. 

"You mean chosen mate?" Josey asks. 

"Huh?" I say not looking at her. Still engrossed in my Nancy Drew phase of figuring out why Percy did what he did. 

"You said he isn't your true mate. From Xander to Max and down to Percy, he's the truest mate you've ever had. You chose to be marked by Max, you also chose to be with Xander. Percy was selected for you." Josey said to me and I smile, looking up at her. 

"You don't have to give me a lesson on mates, I'm well versed on that topic little sister. What I mean is, Percy was chosen for me by Ethia. She did not have the best intentions for me so pairing me with Percy was part of her plan. Percy has a mate somewhere and that is not me." I say and Josey's mouth hangs open. 

I giggle as I walk out of father's office, leaving the door open for when Josey snaps out of it and decides to join me on the quest to find dear old father. 

I walk up the stairs to my bedroom, I don't even knock, I just open the door. My father was sitting on my bed, holding a picture of me and him in our wolf forms. 

He hears the door creak and turns to face me, his eyes red from crying. 

"Hi dad..." I say nervously. I wasn't sure anymore who we were to each other now. Am I still his daughter? Did he want to still be known as my father? 

"Sabrina?" My father asked and I nod my head earnestly, walking in to the room. My father stands up to meet me halfway and pulls me in for a tight hug. 

All my worries, the doubts and fears left my system, just as they've always done when I was in my father's arms.

We pull away from each other, he gently takes my hand and we sit on my big fluffy pink bed. 

I look around to see everything was still the same as I left it. 

"I'm so sorry you were thrown in to such chaos. I wanted to come see you sooner but I was scared really. I didn't know if you still considered me as your daughter." I say as my eyes glass over. 

 

My father pulls in me in for a side hug as the tears fall on my cheeks. 

"Oh Sabrina.." He says, gently rubbing circles on my arm. 

"You are my first child, the oldest of my three children. I don't care what anyone says, I raised you and for that, you will always be my child. I will forever love you the same." He says before kissing my forehead. 

I pull away to look in to his eyes. 

"Oh daddy I'm so happy to hear you say that! I thought I'd lost you and they keep pressuring me to become one of them forgetting that all I've known is you and the rest of the family. All I've ever been exposed to was this world and now I must just quickly take in all that is thrown at me. I have not even dealt with the fact that Hunter is my biological father or that my mother tricked you into thinking you were her mate and dumped me here, fooling you in to thinking I was your daughter when I was not. I have a twin brother that looks everything like me but I don't know a thing about and now I must ascend up to the heavens to be with other gods, learn the ways of the gods and become the moon goddess." I say finally catching my breath. 

"Breath Sabrina. I hear you are immortal but let's stick with the basics okay?" He says and I nod my head, agreeing with him. 

"I regret nothing Sabrina. You gave me grandson and grew our family. It breaks my heart to hear you say you are not coping. I raised you to stay calm and void of any emotion on your face but that does not mean you can't talk about your feelings. Little moon, when you feel upset, voice your concerns. Yes, Hunter is your father but he is still a stranger to you so draw your boundaries until you feel safe around him. The same with your brother, tell them how you feel and that they need to understand that this is all new to you and they need to approach with caution. I'm sure they will understand." He says to me, pulling me in for another side hug. 

"My daughter will not be taking advice from an earthling. We have our ways of doing things and you are no part of it!" Hunter says, I pull away from my father who growled at the intrusion. 

My father stands up, looks around the room to see my mother, Hunter and Anthony. Anthony looking at me with sadness in his eyes. 

I stand up, standing in front of my father and Hunter, who was only a few feet away. 

"You followed me?" I ask and my mother tries to walk up to me but I raise my hand to stop her. She freezes on the spot, clearly confused at my anger. 

"Well, we were in the middle of a very serious conversation Sabrina. You have duties that need your immediate attention and the sooner you attend to your teachings, the better for all the wolves." He says sternly. 

"I came to visit my father!" I say as the frustration grows inside me. 

"You did not tell us where you went Sabrina." My mother says and I scoff at her. 

"Of course I did not tell you. I am upset with you and Hunter! You say you are my parents, yet you're not trying to get to know me. All you are doing is shoving my duties down my throat! You are all a bunch of strangers to me and now I must run around trying to prove myself to my own father? I think I've done that already. The man behind me reminds me all the time that he is proud of me and that he loves me." I say walking closer to my mother. 

She tries to open her mouth but I shake my head no. 

"He has never been an absent father, even after losing his fake mate, he raised me. Take some notes, I trust my father and he trusts me. Something I don't have with any of you right now." I say and Hunter growls. 

"He is not your father. I AM!" He growls out and I turn to face him. 

"He is the only father I've ever known,  all my life until now. He has only been good to me. Show some appreciation to the man that raised me to who I am today. I am alive and strong willed, best believe I did not get that from you!" I say and my mother walks up to Hunter and grabs his hand to calm him down. 

 

"You all just barged in to my home, his house! Show some respect! This man is not some toy to you. You all better show some respect, I demand it!" I say as my power is released. 

"You think your power can force us in to submission?" Hunter asks me smirking. 

"Yes." I say confidently. 

I release all of my power, I release the power of the moon and the whole room's aura changes. My father gently pulls me back to him, he shakes his head no as I look up to him. 

I reel in my power and look back at Hunter. 

"You might be the man that created me, made me so I can stand here but don't forget you were not here to raise me. Not you, not mother but this man right here. While you were all in hiding, as if you needed to, I was raised as a simple girl from a beta family, nothing more than that! I grew up thinking I'd just get  a mate and have babies but obviously that's not the case. Does my sanity mean nothing to you?" I say looking at Hunter. 

"I am trying to keep it together but I don't know how to absorb it all! You say you are my father but I feel like you are some chinned up snob who looks down on other people and I feel like my own mother is the world's worst trickster after finding out she was heartless enough to trick my father in to being mates, robbing him of his chance to ever find his true mate. Anthony, I have nothing against you at all, I just feel overwhelmed by all of this. I feel some abandonment issues too, like why couldn't you all come sooner!! Why now? After all this time and I am supposed to play happy family with you?" I say, anger rolling over me. 

"We couldn't afford to expose ourselves then Sabrina, you have to understand." My mother says but I shake my head in disagreement. 

"You say you're the first family. I saw how you all fought Ethia's army! You killed them as if you were playing some sport, having fun! What was so evil, you could not show yourselves to me, your very own daughter?" I ask as the tears roll down my cheeks. 

"How dare you think I'd just accept you as you are with arms wide open? You won't even leave me alone to think! I'm suffocating here!" I say. 

"Okay, time out! Mother and Hunter, leave. You have put Sabrina through a lot. Just stop okay? enough! Anthony, you can stay." Josey says, walking in to the room and stopping right in front of my mother and Hunter. 

Hunter growls but mother looks at me and back at Josey. She nods her head yes and disappears with Hunter. 

I fall on the bed and all the waterworks break out. Father sits on the bed to try and comfort me. 

"I'm really sorry Sabrina. I know father can come off like some controlling king but he's just worried. You have a position up there, that people want. After Ethia's death, there has been some death threats sent to him. There is a whole divide on you becoming the moon goddess. The Earthling moon goddess. You also have to understand that father and everyone up there was raised to think less of the wolves on earth, they are weaker, no offence Mr. Trent. Father is also from the first family, a family that looks down on others up there so you can imagine what he feels about being down here." Anthony says. We all look at him, waiting for a better explanation. 

Anthony let's out a defeated sigh. 

"I'm not trying to make excuses for him, I just know how hard it has been for him because I was with him. He told me every day about you since I can remember. How he wished things were different, how badly he wanted to kill everyone just to see you. Sometimes I'd catch him crying at night, looking at a baby picture of you. He is all tough exterior but inside, he cares a whole lot about you and even if he does not show it, the guilt of leaving you behind eats at him all the time." Anthony says, which opens up my eyes to a different Hunter. 

My father gently takes my hand, wiping my tears away with his other hand. 

"You will always be my daughter. I will love you forever little moon but I think you should give this Hunter a chance." Father says and Josey jumps around in excitement. 

"It makes sense now why mother used to call you little moon. Little moon!" Josey squeals in delight and we all cackle at my sister. Her ability to shift people's moods was her biggest and best gift.

She was truly an angel and even though she was going through her own hardships, she never fails to be there for me. 

I stand up and pull her in for a hug. 

"Josey, I have been a crappy sister to you. With everything happening to me, that does not excuse the fact that you are going through so much right now and I've been too self absorbed to care. I am so sorry!" I say and Josey pulls away from me, looking me straight in the eyes. 

"You lost Percy then lost Max while carrying his child. You later found out that you have a whole family you did not know about and you're about to become the moon goddess. Then you have nana, who tries to kill you, tries to kill my nephew and Xander! Let's not forget that motherhood is a whole chapter that is all too consuming in a good way. I don't blame you for being distant, heck I don't even know how you stay sane when you go through so much, one after the other! I really look up to you and I don't doubt it, you would stop the time if you could to be there for me and I say this as your sister. It is okay Sabrina." Josey says to me. 

Mom and Dad did things right with this one! 

Cj walks in and stops in his tracks at the sight of the three people that are not part of his pack. 

"Did I miss family meeting?" He asks and we chuckle. 

"Yes but thank the goddess you did. What a shit show that was." Josey says cackling out of the room. If I know Josey, she was off to the kitchen to get something sweet and something salty. 

Cj turns to me, concern in his eyes. 

"I just needed some daddy and daughter time." I say trying to ease his worry. 

"Oh that's fine then. Dad, Percy is here and he is ready to take up the role as my beta, I need you to teach him everything that you've taught me. Change his alpha attitude to that of a willing and obedient beta." Cj says and father looks back at me. 

I smile and nod my head, I got his reassurance. I know I will be okay.

Father stands up, kisses my forehead and walks out. 

"You know, Percy said he could smell your scent in dad's office and I thought he had lost it!" Cj chuckles. 

"I'm glad he came to his senses about being your beta." I say.

Cj jumps on the bed to sit next to me. 

"You know, he is still hung up on you." Cj says and I give him a side glance. 

"Oh Percy was the one Ethia paired you with?" Anthony asked and I look at him, nodding my head. 

"You can change that you know? Give him a new mate. He is not your true mate anyway." Anthony says and Josey walks in, snacking on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. 

"What is it with you and Sabrina going on about true mates?" Josey asks and Anthony smiles. 

"Up there, we have mates too. I haven't met mine yet as I've been in hiding but I can't wait to meet her." Anthony says. 

"Wait, are you saying?" I say looking at Anthony. 

"Yes Sabrina. One thing our dear old parents forgot to tell you was exactly that. You have a mate, a true mate waiting up there for you." Anthony says and my mouth falls open. 

"Oh shit!" Cj says and I nod my head in agreement. 

Oh shit.